Book 3: Part 11: A Rather Difficult Courtship. Chapter 137: A Happy Coincidence (Haengboghan Uyeon-ui Ilchi)

I got in contact with the men I had previously hired to scour the places they previously hand't thought of looking before to find her, disguised as beggars so her brother wouldn't notice. Yeon was frustratingly kind so I knew that she would take the clothes off of her back and give it to them if she could…she was always giving everyone her time, apart from me. And as soon as I got a location I looked through my work files to see if there were any cases would work on in that specific area so I had a reason to move out there temporarily. I had 5 months until she was due to be recruited into the palace and I had to act fast and figure out a way to get her out of there fast; the moment I secured her there was no way she was going to work for anybody again…I want her full attention on myself and her brother just like it used to be.

Lucky for me I did indeed find a few cases of corruption I could work on in that specific village, and thankfully I didn't have to suck up to anyone for permission to take on these cases. This was after the successful disaster relief plan and finally come into place and I had a bit of a break as to when I started mu new job. Yeon was already angry with me for closing down her jobs, more than I realised in fact even though we both knew I did it for her so I thought that she had just stormed off somewhere to teach me a lesson. I thought she had reunited with her brother earlier than planned but she was nowhere to be found, and when my men informed me that she had chosen to not only return to work but relocate far away enough for me not to look that when I knew that something more had to be going on for her brother to agree to this. I had all sorts of thoughts about what this reckless girl was putting herself through for god knows what and how I was going make my presence known before taking what was mine and bringing her back where she belonged.

I found a nearby inn to stay with, along with one of Hui-Jee's maids that she gifted me. I was still angry at everything this girl had put Yeon through as I suspected she was one of the reason Yeon had run away in the first place. But I made up some excuse that our team was failing without Yeon, who came up with the disaster relief plan and she had no choice but to let me find her. So I kept this around as she asked me to, mostly to tend to me and to vent my anger and frustration on. I wasn't like the noble people who liked to vent on the help but I didn't care for anyone who was employed by my father and this bitch seemed to have a personal vendetta against Yeon which I still needed to figure out. I hadn't told her anything about relating just to find Yeon, so she thought this was purely about work alone, but as we drew closer to this village we had begun to hear rumours about a new girl that had been employed by a noble family who had already exposed and put out half of that family and its enemies from the moment she arrived, and that she was the only woman being educated amongst a bunch of men. My stomach twisted itself into a knot as I could only imagine what trouble she was getting into now, and to be honest I was starting to see why Hwi wanted to marry her off despite her wishes to remain isolated. As soon as I made my way into the village I started my investigations while waiting to meet with my men to find out her specific location and instructed my belongings to be dropped off there.

I had a long day had barely allowed myself any rest in case this girl got into trouble and needed my help, but I had gone without sleep for such a long time anyways that it didn't make a difference to me anymore whether I slept or not. I made my rounds around the village, hoping to enquire about both my cases and about Yeon and sure enough I had all the information that she surely would keep from me and her brother. There were only so many times I could allow this to happen and I was going to make it known to her and everyone around her, no matter how fearless Yeon thought she was, it was now more clear than ever that she needed a husband's protection.

As soon as I got word of her location I immediately made my way over there where she had rented out a place that was smaller than her father's home. But she had managed to impress me once again, she certainly know how to make the best out of every situation and used every resources she could to create everything that she needed, from her bed, her accessories corner, how she stored her food. I could tell that she had even sewn together all of her furnishings herself. She knew that I could provide for her well enough so why was she resisting me? Why did she always have to make things harder on herself? Just what exactly was she trying prove? I was still angry at how she had sneaked out in the middle of the night to do god knows what and she was extremely lucky that I hadn't hunted her down yet with the amount of men that I had under my control now.

I was so entirely fascinated with the place I didn't even notice a basket with a huge pile of letters that were overflowing onto the ground…but what really caught my eye was a piece of blue fabric that was sticking out from one of the letters that she had used as a bookmark. I froze momentarily as I recognised it as one of my old belts I had thrown out years ago…I had on idea that she kept it all these years…it looked just as worn out as the embroidery piece I had found in her room stuffed away under an old pile of clothes when I tore that room apart. I felt my heavy heart almost thump out of my chest as I began to reach out to the basket…

Every single letter was written out to me ever since her first day in my father's residence. All her daily activities, her emotions, her thoughts, her struggles in her work, in my home and her memory loss and the things she wanted to tell me but couldn't…she had listed everything on these letters. I was completely stunned beyond belief before I broke down again with everything in my being. Even since she left my home she had still been writing to me, about her life away from myself and her brother, how she convinced him to let her work since the prince didn't have plans to let him go any time soon and she wanted to take a break by relocating elsewhere after everything she had been through. But there was one specific letter I had noticed that she had written using a different ink that actually listed her own pros and cons to why she should isolate herself for good, including a lit of her own insectaries such as her history with epilepsy, her family's downfall…and 'my love for Hui-Jee'.

If I thought I had known what guilt was before when I did what I had to do for her brother, then I was very sadly mistaken as I felt all of my organs and my conscious plummet to the ground. I wanted the ground to open up right there and then and swallow me up and close up again so I couldn't escape even if I wanted to. This new Yeon had been living with me had become very discreet so she still hadn't confessed her feelings to me and know I knew why. I couldn't even have imagined what she went through for the entirely of her stay: not only did she had to pretend that she was indifferent to the entire situation, but also how she managed to pull off what she did while knowing that I had indeed temporarily had my eyes on somebody else. And it affected her so much so that she completely refused to confess to me 'now that I was free from my father's rule, I now had the choice to wander around and meet whoever I please? And it was better that I came across a woman of power who could help me accomplish my goals or have the courage to finally court Hui-Jee'? Was she being serious? I was so entirely conflicted between anger and sadness that I got back into my old habits as soon as she left and I went to find the nearest opium den. I sat down and deliberated with what face could I find her and talk to her of if I should take my own life here and now so I wouldn't be continually misunderstood and stop being a burden to the handful of people I had around me. Chun-Ae found me though only after a few minutes and did everything she could to try and get me to leave but it didn't work at all. Drug dens had a time limit but maybe if I stayed long enough, my torment would finally be over. At this point I had my servant beg me on her knees for me to get out of here, but all I could do was stare at her and every other woman in this place and I couldn't help but to compare them to Yeon. One woman was too tall, another was shorter than her, one girl had her hair out just like Yeon did at that party and one of them appeared to be quite pretty under all of the haze, but her nose was too big, her ears even more so and she had thin pursed lips that did indeed look vaguely familiar although I was not in the right state of mind to identity her yet.

I looked over at the embroidery on my sword that I had in my hands every moment that I wasn't working and I thought about her one last time before I drew my sword out of its sheath and I placed it under my own neck, ready to slice myself open. I had also been preparing for my own death since my father took hold of me. I had positioned my sword in the right direction and I was about to end it all…until a bright white light interrupted everything.