Spring recoil

For Renly, his performance was entering an entirely new phase, potentially leading to a breakthrough or ending in utter futility.

The filming of "50/50" had reached its final quarter. Cancer was gradually gnawing away at Adam's body. Simultaneously, the stark and ruthless reality was dragging Adam deeper into the abyss. The swelling dread of drowning was growing distinct, and the sensation of lungs rupturing brought fear and gore vividly to life.

One punch, then another; one layer, followed by another.

Adam seemed like a spring being slowly compressed. Blow after blow, layer upon layer, the spring was finally compressed to its extreme limit. It wasn't just the cancer; the fear of death took on an unprecedented clarity. Life had finally stripped off its mask, revealing a grotesquely twisted reality.

The doctor had rendered the final verdict: chemotherapy was ineffective. Adam's only option was surgery. Success didn't guarantee survival, but failure meant the end. The operating table was the ultimate destination; he might never open his eyes again after closing them. The moment he closed his eyes would be a farewell that lasted forever.

What was even more brutal was the absence of room for contemplation and the void of choice.

On the eve of the surgery, Adam felt restless. Kyle accompanied him outside to unwind. Every image of the world in his field of vision appeared tranquil yet brimming with vitality. Seemingly mundane, yet filled with a sense of longing.

Suddenly, a sense of bewilderment overwhelmed him. "Death" – the word was so abstract. He didn't know what awaited him after death, whether a soul existed, or if his existence would vanish entirely. The pitch-black night sky and the myriad of lights appeared to be an elementary part of life, something he had grown accustomed to, but now might be forever out of sight.

His mind was a jumbled mess, a tasteless sensation without adequate description. Yet, Kyle remained fixated on the idea of going to a bar, seeking a fleeting encounter, desiring a night of passion.

Adam understood Kyle was attempting to console him, trying to shift his focus, coax him into relaxation. But he couldn't suppress his impulses and anger.

Something seemed to swell within his chest, an almost explosive inflation. He yearned to release it, yet the path remained elusive. Thus, he wanted one final bout of recklessness. He desired to drive – something he'd always feared, something he had never managed to learn.

"Is this what you want to do? Your final wish is to drive? We could have soared through the skies with mistresses, yet you want to do something I mastered when I was fifteen."

That was Kyle's response.

On the night before the surgery, the night before his confrontation with death, the night before his last encounter with cancer. All he wanted was to drive – he knew it was absurd, even laughable, utterly insignificant. Yet... he didn't even know what he truly wanted.

People always say that before death, one should have wishes to fulfill. While still young, make them happen quickly, leaving no room for regrets. Sadly, he had none.

Everything had transpired too swiftly, too ferociously, too ruthlessly. Before he could catch his breath, he found himself standing precariously at the edge of a cliff. After hearing the diagnosis from the doctor, memories in his mind became a muddled haze. He was merely fighting for survival, struggling against it, yearning to triumph over cancer. So much so that he lacked a sense of reality. When reality finally struck, death was within arm's reach, the semblance of an endpoint was looming.

Time was a luxury he didn't possess, nor was there space for contemplation. His mind was blank, devoid of thoughts or desires. The act of driving was merely an outlet for his emotions. His sole notion was to take a chance, to continue living.

Yes. He wanted to live. That was his only wish. Yet... he was powerless.

This was Adam, not Chu Jiashu.

In the moments before Chu Jiashu's passing, he experienced relief. A decade-long life confined to a sickbed was finally coming to an end. He knew there were many regrets left unaddressed. His life hadn't even truly begun before it concluded. Living was a torment, while death seemed like liberation.

In contrast, in the moments before Adam's surgery, he felt fear, despair, panic, longing, struggle, and eruption. His life wasn't over, yet it was forcibly halted. He couldn't determine whether the melody would continue or cease after this unexpected rest.

For most cancer patients, doctors might predict a year or two, or even just six months. They'd have room to breathe. They could travel the world, indulge in extravagances, list their wishes, cry out in despair, surrender to their emotions... The proclamation of a death deadline presented them with a starkly different world, prompting entirely distinct choices.

But not for Adam. He hadn't even begun to struggle. All resistance was declared futile. In a blindsiding moment, cancer hastened to pronounce its verdict, forcefully. What was more dreadful was that he had no choice; he could only await judgment.

How ludicrous. He didn't even have a list of wishes. Tomorrow could be the end of his life, yet the only thing on his mind was driving. As Kyle put it, trivial driving. Extremely laughable.

An indignant surge, accompanied by chaos and anger, erupted from the profound unwillingness within him. Desperation and regret from the utmost desire to survive surged forth. These emotions, compressed like a tightly wound spring, finally burst free. Suppressed sentiments now had an outlet.

Suddenly, Renly thought of Hazel Cross and the kite left in the hospital room.

His gaze landed on the script in his hands. Although it contained only a few lines of dialogue, he read them repeatedly dozens of times. Gradually, focus and perspective blurred. Those words were etched deeply into his mind. The swelling in his chest almost suffocated him.

Setting the script aside, he lifted his head and declared, "I'm ready."

After speaking those words, it was as though a spell had been lifted from the black forest of the film set. Sunshine poured down, imbuing everything with vibrancy. People closed their mouths and busied themselves with their work. The long dormant film set sprang to life in an instant.

Jonathan, overcome with excitement, walked forward immediately, glancing around before realizing that Seth was standing behind him. This scene involved three actors: Seth and Renly in an antagonistic role, while Anna Kendrick was to provide cues. Anna, since she wouldn't appear on screen, could deliver her lines off-script, allowing Jonathan to focus on Seth and Renly. Jonathan was confident in Renly's abilities, but he was concerned about Seth's condition. He turned back, walked over, and quietly gave some instructions, repeating his vision for the scene. After receiving Seth's confirmation with a nod, Jonathan felt reassured.

"What about Renly?" Seth furrowed his brows slightly, displaying worry for Renly's state.

Rubbing his temples, Jonathan, as an observer, knew nothing about what had happened to Renly. Even if he did, there was little he could do to help. The only thing they could do was trust him. Jonathan spoke and then shrugged in resignation. "Honestly, I don't think there's anyone else on the entire set who can give Renly acting advice. Can you?"

Faced with this rhetorical question, Seth immediately raised his hands in surrender, denying any such capability. This prompted Jonathan to shrug again, not saying much, but his expression and gestures were quite telling.

Seth lowered his head, stepped forward earnestly, only to take a couple of steps before turning back. He had a reluctant expression on his face. "Are you sure the traffic will be safe? I've got plans with a girl tonight." The comical expression on his brow was so amusing that the surrounding crew chuckled.

The upcoming scene to be filmed was Adam's first time driving, full of recklessness and peril. Kyle, who sat in the passenger seat, was drenched in cold sweat due to the chaos. But the scene didn't end there. After the adrenaline-fueled rush, Adam would make Kyle leave the car, leading to an emotional breakdown.

For safety reasons, actual driving on the road was out of the question. If a real accident occurred, it would be disastrous. The vehicles Adam encountered on the road were driven by professional stunt actors. Understanding the entire scene, they intentionally created risky situations for the shoot.

In reality, this scene would be shot in two parts: the first part where Adam carelessly drove, and the second part where he broke down inside the car. However, both scenes were interconnected. The plan was to complete the shoot that night, so preparations were done together. This explained the situation where Renly had been immersed in reading the script for a long time earlier.

Seth's previous remarks appeared as complaints on the surface but were actually in a playful tone. As expected, the atmosphere that had been silent for nearly forty-five minutes was reinvigorated.

Seth saw Renly standing up, waved at him, and greeted him casually. Then he noticed the deep gaze in Renly's eyes, a faint redness at the corners. It wasn't very noticeable in the darkness, but with the bright lights now shining on the set, Seth observed this subtle detail.

"... Are you okay?" Seth feigned ease, but he realized Renly had no intention of responding. Renly simply tilted his head, gazing directly at him, his usually serene brow now slightly furrowed. The deep eyes seemed to be shrouded in a thin mist, hiding complex emotions that were difficult to discern, yet they were heavy and intense, making it hard to meet his gaze.

It was Renly, but also not quite him. Amid his unease, Seth was reminded of Will before his surgery.

After merely enduring for two seconds, Seth couldn't hold the gaze any longer and awkwardly looked away, his inner turmoil evident.