No Way

RORA

A bright light from the windows disturbed my sleep. The throbbing pain in the center of my forehead also adds up to my struggle. As of this moment, all I can think about is the pain in my head and the strange softness of the bed.

Did Jill change the bed sheets?

I opened my eyes, squinting by the brightness outside, peeping through the small gaps by the window. Even the curtains looked different. Did Jill go on a shopping spree yesterday? These curtains look new and more expensive than the ones we had before.

"Do you usually get up this late?"

I nearly jumped when a man's voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned and saw the man from last night leaning on the door frame. A smoking mug of coffee was on his right hand, his other hand digging his pockets. He has no shirt, and that sight alone made my headache worse.

MY. GOD.

Like a movie trailer, events from last night came flooding me. I gasped, remembering the events that came after our debate in the bar: the making out in the elevator, the way he pushed me to the bed, the hungry kisses, the yearning… the release…

I can feel the color rose to my cheeks. I guess he also saw it that he took a few steps to my direction, a smug look on his face annoying me like last night.

"Did you… what did you do to me?" - I asked, just now realizing that under the blankets, I'm naked. Dear Lord.

"Nothing that you didn't like. Coffee?" - he sat on the foot of the bed.

My eyes dilated. I… we really did it, then. These memories in my head… we all did it.

"I need to go. This didn't happen." - I wrapped myself with the blanket and searched the room for my clothes.

"Come on, I'm trying to be nice here. I can make you coffee. It helps with the hangover."

"No, all of this is a mistake. I really need to-"

He stood up. The teasing look on his face now gone. There's something else on it now: sadness?

"Fine, then. As if last night was that memorable. It's not."

I frowned. This is the kind of man I shared an intimate night with? What was I thinking last night?

I looked at him with blank expression. And then I reminded myself of why the debate happened in the first place. It's because he's so annoying and his frat members feel like they own the place for themselves. His ego, his entitlement, his passive-aggressive insults.

I felt sick in my stomach.

"You're really so full of yourself. It's not satisfying for me either!"

"You're lying." - he said, pointing to his neck. My eyes followed his finger and notice there were red patches in there, trailing south.

Horrified, I understood what he meant. I didn't make that. I couldn't have.

"You're really something, aren't you?" - I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Yeah, made you go home with me last night so that counts for something."

I bit the insides of my cheeks. He's really getting into me. Finally finding my clothes at the chair next to his bedside table, I picked them up and stormed towards a small door at the corner. I remember I used this door last night for a quick pee.

Inside the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. Even I had red patches on my fair skin. On my neck… and even on my upper chest.

I wanted to curse myself and punch the mirror. I'm engaged to a good man, for crying out loud!

As fast as I could, I changed back into my clothes. When I got out of the bathroom, he was standing at the foot of the bed with both hands on his pockets.

"Look, Rora… I don't see why you're frantically panicking. You and I are two consenting adults. It's not like you're married or something."

He knew my name. I guess I told him last night. Stupid, stupid Rora!

"and if I am?"

He laughed. He thought I was joking.

"I'm Kai, by the way." - he said, holding out his hands. Talk about mood swings.

"Let's just forget what happened." - I said as I stared at his hand.

"Alright. You only want this to be a one-night stand. So be it." - he withdrew his hand. If he were a different man, I would have thought he was hurt by what I said.

I walked out. He didn't follow, and that's good because I guess he got the message I implied.

If only I can kick myself, I would have…

-

-

"Seriously Rora, something's going on with you these past two weeks…" - Jill was saying as she was waiting outside our bathroom door.

"I'll be out in a minute!"

She's right. Since that one night of a mistake, I had been carrying the guilt with me wherever I go. With the wedding only a few days from now, all I can think about is the fact that I had been unfaithful… and Kai. Or maybe this only annoyance.

Finally, I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my body.But as I put the towel back to the rack, I hit the handle of the overhead drawer and its contents spilled: body scrubs, lotion, bath salt, shampoo containers, and sanitary napkins. Unopened and untouched napkins.

"Are you okay? What's that noise?" - Jill, still knocking on the door.

And then it hit me.

My period's late. I haven't been late since I had my first menstruation.

What if… No.

Did we use protection that night? I can't remember. Goodness, why can't I remember anything?

"Rora, I'm going in. I'm starting to get worried of you."

Jill pushed the door open and saw me picking up the products from the tiled floor. My head can't stop spinning. This can happen, right? Sometimes periods can come late. It doesn't have to mean anything, right?

"Hey, let me help you."

One by one, we placed the products back to the cabinet. But I cannot let go of the sanitary napkins.

"Jill…"

My voice was shaking, and Jill noticed it.

"...I have a request. Please…?"

If this is indeed a problem, I have to be sure. As much as I don't want to think about it, I know it's the only way to know.

"Of course. Tell me what it is."

I gulped, looked at my friend dead in the eye and narrated what happened in that bar. I saw her disappointment, but I couldn't keep it in. I let myself cry because of the mixed feelings of fear and regret.

"Let's make sure. Stay here, okay?"

I nodded.

The waiting didn't last long. There's a nearby pharmacy in the neighborhood. In less than 5 minutes, Jill was back.

"Here. Try them both."

My hands were shaking as I held the pregnancy tests.

"I'm scared."

"I know you are, but you have to."

I licked my lips. I really need to, and I know that.

"I'll stay outside. Call me after you-"

"Thanks, Jill."

She nodded and left me on my own. I opened each packet and followed the instruction. Two minutes, and the lines would show.

It felt like the longest two minutes of my life, but then it had to be done.

"Jill, you can come in now. It's time."

I was covering the lines on the tests with a bath towel. As soon as Jill joined me, I gathered all my courage and checked.

-

-

-

Two red lines stared back at me on both the tests.

I'm having a baby.