Forgiveness

As we entered he perked up suddenly and looked away to hide his embarrassment. But he didn't need to because the most embarrassing thing, is the fact that I needed to be carried back on the bed in which he had to help too. During the process the necklace he held fell out of his pocket, he quickly drew back and picked it up.

"Alright Leroy, you just have to continue this for 2 weeks at most and with the help of your friends you'll be out in no time," said the nurse.

The nurse left and I turned towards Synthia who only shakes her head at me and mouths, nope. I was suddenly confused but understood why she wouldn't want to be a friend. So then I looked towards Jess, he showed a small smile and sat down next to me.

"He has the right of way to stay with you for the night, I don't want to interrupt anything." She looks at Jess and says "it's best if you tell him now, it'll also be better if he remembers for both of our sake."

She leaves the room and as the sounds of her heels echoed through the hallway the space between me and Jess grew. Though he sat next to me he seemed as if he was wandering off somewhere else as if he wanted to be lost.

"Hey, Jess?" He turns over snapping back from his thoughts.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I'm sorry, but I would like to know, how did I end up like this?"

His face dropped down suddenly and said:

"Sure, I'll try but the reason we fought in the first place was because of me."

He looked up in tears and proceeded with the story from his point of view. At first, I was going to stop him if it was too much for him to speak but before I could do so he had already spoken. In his soft voice, he quietly spoke to keep steady his trembling and tears.

"Before this, you and I had dreams for each other, I worked hard during the night so we barely met each other because you worked during the day." He stops for a moment and clenches tightly to his pants.

"I didn't know that you worked as a club promoter because you kept it a secret. I knew because the day I had a night off you came back around 2 in the morning with the smell of others on you. At first, I doubted you for something indecent but knowing you for so long I didn't want it to bother me." He pauses again for another breath and pulls out the necklace to hold in his face.

"One night Synthia contacted me to help pull you back because it seemed like you were losing yourself bit by bit. I ignored her because she was the one who gave you the job so I thought, you reap what you sow, but I didn't think you would crash into rock bottom that hard. A few hours later I returned and you were laying at the entrance of our apartment. I woke you up and helped you inside but then you just pushed me off and got ready for your day job. The next night Synthia called me in an emergency saying that you were getting off on opium and other on kinds. I rushed to the club you were at and fought my way through to get to you, to yell at you, to hope that you would snap back to your senses when you heard me." He gasps suddenly and cries.

"But I was too late, you were already somewhere else. I left but I didn't realize that you actually followed me and when I looked back …" He breaks down crying and stands up but falls to his knees instead. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's my fault"

I didn't know what to do but to rest my hand on his back.

"I don't think you should apologize," as I said that, he shook his head while crying.

"Why?"

"After all you saved me again, I guess if you hadn't come to yell at me I would've drifted farther. So far that I wouldn't be able to save myself if I tried to. So please don't cry, as I am thankful for the fact that you saved me once again."

"No, if I didn't have so many demands then maybe you wouldn't have pushed yourself."

"Well, maybe I had something else in mind, like maybe my dream for you. So look up at me." He looks up and stands. "Come closer." As he came closer I reached for his hand to hold. "What were we?"

He looks down at me and drops his necklace onto the table. "I want you to decide for me."

"What do you mean?"

"They say that we try to forget about things that hurt us, but I would understand why you forgot about me."

"Hey that's something that cannot be explained by me if I tried, but please tell me."

He slips his hand away and says:

"You and I were lovers I guess, but now I would like for you to decide if you want to stay with me or not. Now if you will excuse me I need to get on with my night shift, I'm sorry."

He left and I couldn't stop him. Something in me felt broken, about why would I forget about you and what my dream for you was. I felt it in me, the thought of a dream for you, enlightened warmth in my heart, and as much as I wanted to know more it didn't spark anything in memory. It was as if my mind felt that it served no purpose of letting me know.

His necklace was on the table, it was the same as my necklace. I took both of our necklaces and read them both, We will love, till our last spring. Suddenly a scene flashes through my head, a clear image of a field of flowers and gentle glances from Jess.

It was always him, the person who saved me in my dreams. I wouldn't say that it wasn't Jess from before because he has saved me. The room suddenly felt cold, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow in hopes of seeing him again.