Taboo Question

Girls and their concerns with weight, it's a topic that no man should ever bring up

Since girls are extremely sensitive about their weight, they really care about what other people think about it. If they hear any comment about it, they'll always get worked up in a good or bad way depending on the nature of the comment

Even if they casually ask

"Do you think this dress will fit me?" or "I think I got a little fat. What do you think?"

Your answers to those questions should always be

"Of course it will fit you. I was actually thinking that it would be too loose for you" and "Don't worry. You look as slim as the day I saw you. No, you look even better now"

Always say something that compliments their looks even if it's a lie. If you say anything else your basically opening Pandora's Box

I've learnt all this from my father when I was young. Whenever we were alone he would say "It's time for 'How to pick up girls 101' " and would tell me all the do's and don'ts when it comes to girls. That was basically our version father-son bonding time. I can't believe I'm going to use that junk knowledge he taught me now

Honestly she was a bit heavy. It's probably due to her dynamite body any girl would dream for. Even Kaede said she wanted a supermodel body like hers

But from what I've learnt I should just avoid the question without giving a direct answer. So I made up an excuse and said

"No, I just have a really weak body. I'm not used to physical work"

I thought she would settle down after I said that lie but she got more irritated and said

"That just means you can't lift heavy objects! So in the end I'm so fat that you can't even lift me!"

Shit! That backfired in a horrible way. I'll have to quickly calm her down with another excuse or she'll go berserk

"No, I'm just saying I have flimsy hands with no muscles"

"Shut up! I know your lying! I could feel your body when you were lying on me. It was super hard!"

!!!!!!

She just told something really erotic without even batting an eye

"You definitely have a strong body. I can even feel your abs on me right now. They're so stiff that I can feel them poking my arm"

THE FUCK!?

Just what the hell is she telling with such an innocent face. She's just firing out these misleading lines like it's no one's business. If someone overhears our conversation their definitely going to misunderstand

She then caught one of my arms and felt it up

"See your lying! You said it was small and flimsy but it's so big and hard!"

AT LEAST SAY YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY HAND DAMMIT!

I don't know if she's doing this on purpose or not but whatever she's doing, it's working

"So I'm fat after all! Let me go! You don't need to carry me, you idiot!"

She started acting like a child who got her candy taken away from her

I didn't think she would be self conscious about her weight to this extent. I mean she's not even fat. She's thicc!

With those two watermelons on her, of course she would feel heavy. But even if I told her that she would only think I'm a pervert. Only a guy can understand what I'm trying to say

What do I do? What do I do?...….!

Suddenly a memory of me when I was 8 years old popped up. I was walking in the park with my father at that time and I asked him

"Dad you told me I should always avoid the topic or tell some lie, when a girl asks about her weight but what if both of them don't work. Is there any way to get out of the situation?"

He then looked at me and smiled proudly

"You're growing up Yuuto. You're finally asking questions about girls on your own. I'm proud of you. The answer to your question is yes, there is a way to escape. I've used this method on many women and it worked every single time"

"What is it?"

"Well the method is….."

I guess I'll have to use that method he taught me. I hate to say this but thank you dad. You're the one who's going to save me today

I could then sense my father say 'Do your best' from across the world

I then gripped her tightly, pulled her towards me and looked her in the eye with a serious face. She stopped moving around and just silently looked at me. I then said in hopes of taming this wild beast

"I like chubby girls more than slender ones. So in my eyes you're more beautiful than anyone"

She was looking at me with her eyes widened and mouth slightly open. She didn't react in any other way and just stayed like that

My father told this is was a full proof method to deal with girls who think their fat. Although I changed it up a bit to make it more appropriate to say to a friend, it works on the same concept

You just have to give reassurance to the girl that she's still the same even though she may have gained weight. So I selected those words of mine. Now she won't be concerned about her weight no matter how much she gains

Now I just have to wait and see if the bomb in my hand is still ticking

I thought the plan failed and she was going to explode in my hands since she wasn't saying anything. But just when I was about to completely give up, her face slowly started to turn red and she looked away in embarrassment saying

"B-Baka!"

Ladies and gentlemen, the bomb has been diffused and his safe to carry. Thank you dad I owe you one