Chapter 236: Awakening A Great Disaster

As time went by, I began to gain some of my bodily control back.

I was genuinely amazed at how Cassandra didn't seem to care about the fact that she had to help me do literally everything.

But to her, it was a vacation. A honeymoon.

Currently, she was helping me to walk again. I had begun to speak as well.

However...despite the fact that I was glad to have her helping me...

I had also fallen into a deep state of depression and anger. Partially because of Isabella, but also...

I lost something important when I descended into madness. I felt something seething below the surface.

The full realization that Isabella may never return to her previous self was enough to drive me insane from grief.

Not that I hadn't already gone insane...

But along with it, came a dark, malevolent rage that rooted itself deep in my heart. I began thinking about things.

How much I despised the life I had lived...how much I hated the Oracle and the mockery that Rose was.

I thought about how much I hated everything...all of creation...

I wanted to burn it all to the ground.

The desire to destroy, kill, and burn everything was rising more and more with each passing day.

And yet...I simply allowed it. It was liberating in a way.

Cassandra continued to look after me. She would often talk with me through Vengeance about how I was feeling, as well.

She knew I was upset about Isabella, but didn't seem to mind. I believed that she understood why I couldn't just abandon the woman I had been married to for so long.

But now it was a source of even greater despair.

And as we walked along, I stopped and stared at the ground. The castle we currently dwelled in was one in a country I didn't bother to learn the name of.

But this world was one that Cassandra visited while under Difar's control in another timeline. The previous timeline.

The world of Daser was a world of magic just like Avernia. Its animus barrier was slightly more dense, however. Cassandra had single-handedly slain the ruling Lord and his armies from this small castle as well.

Even the hero they sent to take it back was no match for her power.

All because they would not allow her to keep me here. The Lord of this place wanted Cassandra for himself and tried to have me executed. That was enough to seal their fates.

And since the lives of others no longer mattered to me, I had no guilt or anger because of it.

Actually, I was relieved that they wouldn't bother us.

And happy that they got what they deserved for daring to insult me and my beloved wife.

"Darling? What's wrong? Are you sad again? I can make you happy with my Illusionist Aspect!" Cassandra said.

"I...I know...you can..." I said.

"Would you like me to?" She asked.

"It won't...make a difference..."

"Is it Isabella again?"

I nodded.

"I wish I could bring her to you and fix her mind. If she accepted me, I wouldn't mind sharing if it would make you happy."

"I...know... And I'm...sorry..." I said.

She gently hugged me and smiled.

"Just being loved by you is enough. If I can fix Isabella and bring you happiness, then we can all share in your love!" Cassandra said.

I could tell something was off about her, however.

"That isn't...okay with you...is it...?" I managed.

"Hmm...darling is still so perceptive... I have been feeling greedy... I want your love all to myself. But, I can never have that. I don't deserve it. Isabella earned your love with her compassion and hard work. I hurt you out of frustration. I may have worked hard to get here, but sometimes, I still feel guilty."

"Why...?"

"Every time I look at your scars when you say that you love me. It makes me wonder..."

"My time in your dungeon...helped me grow as...a-a person. Made me...s-stron...ger. These scars built the...man that...I...I am."

"And your life has been one event full of suffering after another! When does it end? My actions added to that suffering... And if I have added to the suffering of the one I love most...I can never forgive myself!" Cassandra said.

Tears were falling down her face, now as she spoke.

"No more...tears... Forgive Yourself... That's an...order..." I said.

"Why...? Why must I receive such an order!?"

"Because you're...too hard on yourself... Too important to me... You redeemed... Y-you...are...ugh..."

My head began to hurt as I could no longer find the words.

"Don't force yourself, darling! I only have an hour until channeled power is back. Then I can heal you again."

"S-stop...hating...yourself... You have...worth... No more...t-tears. Stop it..." I said.

She bowed her head.

"I will do my best to follow that order. But that might take a long time... Still, I want to bring Isabella back to you. As a means of making up for my sins. I know that you say I have already done enough, but I want to at least do this as well."

"Is it okay...to share...?"

"It is more than okay! If I can still have Mizik's love, then my life is complete!" Cassandra said.

I nodded and allowed the guilt to pass from me.

If I could get Isabella back, she would simply have to live with this. And I would get her back by any means necessary.

Even if she hated me, she would be mine again. After all...I could no longer care about such trivial things.

* * *

In the weeks that followed, my depression still became worse. It was suffocating at times. Soul crushing despair.

As the despair grew alongside my anxiety, my desire to destroy everything also grew.

My heart and mind were darkened. Within me, swirled a chaotic maelstrom of negative emotion.

Cassandra began to help me with other things, like making sure this wouldn't happen again.

It was around this time, that I began to experiment with The Archmage...

At one point, I regained the ability to use Channeled Power. I began to look at how this Aspect connected to the Heart of the World.

The Archmage was an Ultra Aspect that could use every form of magic in a masterful way. It could create spells, draw from a limitless chasm of magic, disperse magic, and so on. It seemed to be what Michael once called a 'cheat ability' when it came to magic.

It drew heavily on its user, but if you could support its power, it had an infinite number of uses. And it's only limit was your own mind.

It was truly a wonderful ability.

Unfortunately, it was not without drawbacks. I could gaze into the chasm of magic, a conceptual place of infinite magic, and retain my sanity.

But my mortal mind could only handle so much. I was limited by my own mental ability to cast and control magic.

Something felt different lately, however...

Using The Archmage felt easier now after succumbing to Abyssal Madness.

The result was quite fun.

My understanding of magic seemed to grow...

Little by little...then a lot...and then exponentially.

I sat alone in my room as Cassandra made dinner for us both and peered into the chasm of magic.

At that very moment, I allowed myself to be fully immersed in it. My mind felt free of fog for once...

I had a complete understanding of everything around me.

"This is new... What's happening...?" I said.

Magic swirled around me.

For the first time, I felt limitless.

Like I could make amything...and I immediately got to work.

I made permanent and hidden passives to protect me from mental attacks and degradation from now on.

But, I wouldn't apply them until Cassandra had finished healing my mind. And I wanted her to do it. She was the expert, after all, and had an outside perspective.

On the side, I created another new ability called: Normalize. This power would enable me to stand in the presence of mortals, function in society, and even hide my presence.

Because if I didn't have some method of suppressing my power, even just existing would spell doom for others around me.

Or, say...destroying an entire city by kicking a door.

I also noted that, through the use of magic...

I could literally replicate and create other Aspects.

I could create Aspects and apply them to myself as long as I retained The Archmage. The Warlord would now be interchangeable.

I used my power to forcefully unlock Rage of Iratus. I had not actually been close enough to dying for it to unlock itself since my father was killed on Avernia. So I went ahead and upgraded it as well. To Supreme Wrath of Iratus

Through more experimentation, I discovered that with an unlimited supply of mp from the Heart of the World and the chasm of magic, I could truly do anything with The Archmage.

And since I wanted to destroy...I began developing my powers for just that.

I awakened something...

Something dark and malevolent...

Through sheer force of will, I made The Archmage capable of so much more than it was originally intended for.

And at last...I had a breakthrough.

"The chasm of magic...a conceptual power created by The Archmage for the purpose of making magic. Infinite wells of mana...infinite possibilities... What if I...aha! YES!!!"

I tapped into the inner-workings of the chasm of magic and connected it to the Heart of the World.

And then...I absorbed it into my entire being.

I was forcibly expelled from the chasm as my power surged. I could already see so many possibilities! Now...I felt like a god of magic!

As my first order of business, I realized that I wanted an outlet for my stress and frustration.

To do this, I created sensory magic. To modify the physical feelings in the human body and strengthen the senses.

I used this magic, on top of healing magics to restore my stamina and heal the two of us.

And starting later that night...

...I gave Cassandra several days worth of mind-numbing pleasure through the use of sensory magic.

Although, I felt bad about the fact that I temporarily broke her mind with my sexual frustrations, but she didn't care.

She became addicted to it.

And I promised I would let her take out her frustrations on me as well. Any form of masochistic torture I could preform on her...within reason...was perfectly fine with me. She had the strangest obsession with being chained up and pretending that I had freed myself and violated her.

Despite this, we still had many romantic nights together.

And many romantic days...

After two months of continuous healing, unimaginable pleasure, and spell making, I was feeling much better. I felt as though I had been reborn.

I had awakened to something incredible.

My mind had been fully repaired and I had several new passives that would protect my mind.

Actually...I simply replicated the ones Cassandra had.

But despite being fixed, my depression and anger had yet to disappear.

Cassandra would now only be able to tamper with my mind if I allowed it. And she had been told not to force me to be happy.

It would be irrelevant because the source of my pain was the fact that the Oracle had taken away my beloved Isabella.

I would never be happy as long as the person I loved resided in the hands of that monster.

And I promised to free her.

In the very end, I would ensure that she became my possession.

But if I couldn't save her, I would at least be the one to end her life.

"Darling! That was such a wonderful night! Can I please have more?" Cassandra said as she had finally woken up.

She was currently laying on my chest and looking at me with desire.

"As much as you like. I still have so much more frustration to release."

"Haaaah! Please use me, darling! I'm all yours! Let me receive your love and anger again and again!" Cassandra said.

And once again, the two of us were together.

I pushed the thoughts of Isabella out of my mind as we began again.

* * *

As Rose kneeled before the Oracle, she wondered why she had been called to her throne.

Nevertheless, she would follow any orders she had received.

Lately, Rose had become bored with waiting on word of the abominable demon to show his face. It had been months since her last talk with the Oracle on the subject.

And recently, there was a sort of incident...

As Rose finished her training for that day, she returned to her room. She bathed and sat at her desk.

A small metallic object had found its way onto her desk and she, at the time, examined it.

It was a sphere with a square base. When she touched it, it opened and washed her mind in an ethereal haze.

After that day, the Oracle could no longer fully restrain the phantom memories.

It was the strangest thing...

The device dissolved into magic and dispersed after that.

And once it was over, she had begun to have doubts about everything.

Still, she followed the Oracle's every order.

Although, she had been told that using Crown of the Hero was strictly prohibited unless absolutely necessary because of the strain it placed on her. And the fact that using it caused more memories to surface as well.

"What do you request of me, Oracle?" Rose asked.

"I believe I may have located Mizik Iratus. It is difficult to tell due to something related to the Void blocking him, but I am sure of it," the Oracle said.

Rose did not smile.

She was inwardly happy to hear of this, but...

While training lately...other issues had been arising. Perhaps as a result of the strange device.

Something took root in her mind and began pulling strange feelings of Mizik to the surface...

Something in her yearned to be near Mizik. She wanted to kill him, but also wanted to be with him.

Still...she knew she hated him, but also wanted to speak with him.

At least she would talk this time before ending his miserable life.

Regardless of what he said, she knew she had no choice.

"Are you not happy, Rose? You will finally slay that dog like the rabid and diseased animal he is. I will aid you by sealing that world as soon as you enter. He will not escape this time."

"Should a hero be happy about killing someone, Oracle?" Rose said.

"Hmm. You raise a fair point. I simply thought that killing him gave meaning to your existence. But, I digress. Give me a short while to figure out why this world is cloaked in a Void barrier, and I will allow you to leave."

"Do you think that perhaps Valtheim could be-"

"SILENCE!!! DO NOT SPEAK THAT NAME!!!" The Oracle roared.

Rose quieted down immediately.

"I am so tired of hearing of this mystical Valtheim. No such entity exists. It is both an illusion as well as the power of the Source. The Void having an Avatar? How? An Avatar is an extension of power and being. A representative. The Void has nothing to extend from! It is nothingness! Nothing can survive in it and nothing can be born from it! I will hear no more of this nonsense!" The Oracle said angrily.

"Yes, Oracle. I will not speak of it again. But how should I fight this illusion?" Rose asked.

"Ignore it. An illusion cannot hurt you. Instead, be wary of the Source, himself. He is the one possessing the power of the Void. It is likely how he came to enter Creation in the first place," The Oracle said.

"I understand," Rose said.

And with that, she simply waited.

It wouldn't be long before she could finally slay Mizik Iratus.