chapter 9: Ryan

I couldn't be in the house with Nox so close. Instead, I camp out, near enough that Kero could get me if needed, but far enough that his scent wouldn't reach me. The night before Nox comes out of his heat, Kero comes to me. He informs me of his scent disappearing and tells me we would need to be on guard in case his emotions were on haywire from the lonely heat. Kero theorized this was Nox's first heat in a long time based on how strong his scent was. He believes Nox will go into drop when he surfaces from his heat haze and we would need to help get him emotionally stabilized before I was allowed to continue our journey to the palace.

Kero was right. He told me of the omega's sensitivity when he went to wash the sheets. I took off on another walk to rid myself of the feelings the smell of those sheets had brought about before going to see the omega. I couldn't risk jumping him when he was in drop. I didn't want to hurt the other. He was hurting enough. I take a slow breath and look over the village silently. I could hear Nox crying inside the house, but I couldn't bring myself to go inside and attempt to comfort him. Just because it worked once, didn't mean it would work again. Especially not after I'd basically rejected him right before his heat. I sigh and drop my head into my palms. I would wait one more night before trying to see Nox.

The moments Nox got up I knew. I could hear him. I quickly got up and followed him. He is silent, floating around the village like a ghost. He pauses before some of the shops, soft hiccups leaving his parted lips. After a while, he seems to give up with the village and walks off into the woods. I followed a few paces behind to assure he didn't see me. What was he thinking? The woods were dangerous at night and he clearly didn't know how to defend himself. I hide behind a tree and watch with narrowed eyes as he stops at the bank of the river. He stands completely still, face turned down to look at the dark water. After a few heartbeats he leans forward and drops into the water with a loud splash. I scream as he disappears into the inky water. I curse and jump in after him. The water is freezing, but I push past the cold to find the omega. I dive in and out, trying to feel him. I couldn't see anything. Finally, after what feels like ages, I feel him. I wrap my arms around him and pull him out. He gasps as we surface and I kick hard to get him to the bank. He takes a few harsh breaths and his eyes flutter, even though he clearly wasn't yet conscious. He continues to take gasping breaths with his eyes closed, his body beginning to shake wildly. I lift him into my arms and hold him tight.

"What were you thinking?" I ask, my voice holding anger and fear. I shake him and repeat myself, trying to wake him. I needed answers, god damnit.

"I…I needed to…" he stutters out, eyes opening and meeting mine, fear obvious in them. He begins crying as he wraps his arms around me and holds himself tight to my chest. I cling to the omega, my own tears mixing with our wet clothes. When our shared shivering intensifies, I lift the omega and carry him back to the cabin. He wraps his legs around my hips and presses his nose to my scent gland. Kero watches from the door as we approach.

"What happened?" he questions, taking in our wet forms.

"He fell in the river," Kero nods and leads us in.

"Get out of those clothes," He orders. I set the omega on his feet and gently pull the clothes from his form. Once they're gone Kero wraps a thick fur around his nude body and sets him by the fire. I remove my own clothes and take the offered fur. I sit next to Nox and let out a breath of relief. Nox leans into me once I'm settled.

"I'm sorry," Nox whispers sleepily.

"Keep an eye on him tonight," Kero orders as he drops more furs behind us as well as the pillows from the guest room. I nod and Kero retreats to his room. I gently pull the omega into my lap and wrapped the fur I was using around him as well, he needed the extra warmth. Nox releases a soft purr as he settles his cheek on my shoulder, nose pressed to my scent gland. He is silent for a while, still shivering. He takes slow breaths and I begin to believe he has fallen asleep. I sigh softly, how had this happened? Was this because of the drop? Did I do this to him? Was it because I rejected him? I could feel my eyes watering at the thought. I didn't want to hurt the precious omega.

"How come you don't want me?" he questions, voice muffled. I look down at the other in shock. How long had he been awake? Had he ever fallen asleep. I shake my head and look at the ceiling as I explain.

"I can't give you what other alpha's can. I know nothing of how to care for an omega nor their pups. I'm not good for you," Nox makes a soft sound, and warm tears settle on my bare shoulder.

"Then how come you still act as if you want me?" I hold Nox tighter.

"I do want you, Nox. But I would be ruining your life by keeping you," he shakes his head.

"Please keep me, please," he cries a little bit harder and presses more firmly into me. The shaking intensifies and I grab another blanket to help warm him up. I run a hand through his wet hair and allow a few stray tears to slip down my cheeks. I wanted to. I wanted so badly to return home and give the omega the world. I wanted to show Nox how wonderful he was.

"Go to sleep," I mutter.