I Messed Up… Again

"Do they really think I can't hear them?"

I was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria… drinking my coffee, when they entered. Chatting among themselves without a care of the surroundings.

And then I heard it. My name, Jaeson.

They were talking about how I shouldn't have solved the problem. I couldn't believe it.

Yes I wanted to be acknowledged by the professor. But sharing my solution was beneficial for the whole class, but no… they just want to blame me

"….I don't want to hate on Jaeson. He's good at chemistry, I was able to look at the problem in a different way thanks to him and I think his decision to show his solution to the class was beneficial to all… it's just… I'm sad that I didn't think that way. I'm scared that I'm not good enough."

It was Tanya.

I didn't expect her to react that way. I never thought she would be mature enough to think like this…

Then again I don't know much about her, other than that she's a crybaby.

I found myself smiling at that name.

"Was I out of line calling her that?"

"Hmm… what are you talking about?" Edward asked me.

"Nothing" I shrugged him off.

"You know, that girl Tanya… "I couldn't help it.

"Oh…. The one you picked upon…"

He was loud….

"SHUT UP… they are sitting right over there and for your information, I didn't pick on her"

"Man, the whole university now calls her Crybaby… and I'm sure 99% of them haven't even seen her crying…"

"Is it my fault?"

"Jae, it wasn't your fault that they mocked her accent or that she cried but calling her crybaby when she was getting bullied in front of you… that's just adding on to her problems…"

I was silent. I knew I was wrong.

"Are you my friend or hers?" I asked Edward.

"Well, I'd like to be her friend. Seems like she's good at studying… especially in chemistry. I could use some help."

I couldn't believe it.

"Yah… I'm better than her in chemistry, you saw that in the class right. The way I solved that question in minimum steps…. And you are"

"Ahh… you shouldn't have done that"

"Excuse me!"

I stood up from my seat.

"WHAT ARE YOU ON MAN? I WAS JUST TRYING TO SHOW ANOTHER WAY OF SOLVING THAT QUESTION. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR TANYA COULDN'T THINK OF THAT. AND INSTEAD OF APPRECIATING ME YOU ARE TAKING HER SIDE."

Edward pulled on my arms.

"Shh….lower your voice. Everyone is looking at you. Sit down"

"You are spewing nonse..."

"Listen to me Jaeson… I understand you. It's just the way you said you can solve it in lesser steps, it sounded arrogant. It seemed that you were undermining her answer."

I looked at Edward.

"Even now, you said you are better than her when all you know is the way she solved one question, one question can't be a measure of one's knowledge… I know you do things without thinking. But be careful, your actions can hurt people."

Edward was right. I never think about the consequences of my actions. And it does seem like my actions were affecting Tanya.

He could feel that piercing gaze on him. And he didn't have to turn around to know who that was.

Tanya and co were glaring at him. And he can't blame them. He had just embarrassed them again with his outburst.

Jaeson took a sip of his coffee. It felt too cold. Just like their cold gaze.

For the first time in a while he was starting to question his decisions.