Chapter thirty one
Does it seem to you that Luz has thoughts that are impostured by the author?
I wonder the same thing myself at times but that would have to be asked of the devil.
Let there be no doubt in your mind that a demon doesn't leave no stone unturned, and that's not literal.
Anyway, we'll see what the devil is planning when he decides to show it.
For now, you cool, me fresh and Luz... we must continue:
The golden flames on her scars begin to glow like the sun's rays. She sees her scars gleam like pure gold.
"Be positive, yes, only then will it stop beating with the sound of a beep. It has already happened to me, awake not asleep, but it is the same, it has to be the same....
Everything will be fine like in the movies.... The never ending story.
Yes, The Neverending Story, in that movie when Fantasia (that's the name of the magical land where the movie takes place) was destroyed it was plunged into darkness. Everything was chaos until the child protagonist began to imagine again to rebuild Fantasia... maybe that's what my mind wants me to reimagine".
However, no matter how much the sea and a being half mermaid half fairy swims; the darkness does not disappear, nothing is illuminated, no one remembers her for anything else but her nicknames.
Well, nothing appears illuminated; but something that was already there is lighting up with a golden glow.
Her scars gleam like bars of pure gold.
"If my father could see me he would do anything for me or at least try. He would try to be happy."
Now even her heartbeats no longer sound like beeps; she simply does not hear them anymore because they have literally brought her into this darkness.
In that terrifying silence she stays for a few minutes, without thinking, just trying to pay attention to the peaceful melody that arises when she does not feel or think; she exists only to live and begins to dance alone in the darkness of the water.
There are no directions, there are no limits because she is not existing in reality or in fantasy; but inside her silence that is inside the bubbles that her rhythmic dance produces for this world.
"Darkness cannot sink you, it is your decision to sink and look for culprits."
That's what her mom told her the time they had a strong argument because Luz had one of her anxiety attacks and almost ate all the corn cake that her mother prepared just for the two of them.
Luz is always a good listener but she is never the one who is listened to. For others and her family but that day she could not stand her mother's criticism.
Naturally Luz hates silence because there lie the words that have struck her. However, the silence of now does not play the role of receiver but of sender. This silence has literally contracted her ears. This silence has exposed a dream that does not belong to any world: the dream of experiencing what is a dream that does not belong to any world.
Her adolescence is running out, she will soon be out of school and she does not want to look the same. She is too young to feel so emotionally drained.
Maybe now that there is no one to disturb her (her toxic family) she can endure the silence and even find some strange beauty in it.
The bubbles that have just appeared gather and position themselves in such a way that they look like a seahorse made of bubbles.
When Luz touches it the gold of her scars moves to the bubbles to color them with the intensity of the sun.
She climbs onto his back and the horse begins to swim upwards with such speed that Luz vomits. Her vomit is black in color, indicating a stomach infection, and she knows it. Luz worries that when she wakes up her mother will force her to fast and that will be a real torture.
The black vomit combines with the golden color (which previously colored Luz's scars) on the bubbles of the seahorse. This mixture produces a dark green color that colors Luz's scars. The bubbles vibrate emitting the sound of a group of chimes that collide with each other. It is as if one chime lifts the spirits of the other, so that they can continue in their eternal mission of faith.
"If I'm dreaming, that color change and the bubbles must mean something. The fact that the beeps now sound like chimes just like the bubbles when they collide.
What would the protagonist of a romance do when she is trapped by her own mind?
Distract herself in the place where she meets the boy of her dreams or goes dancing with her best friend? relax"
Luz starts singing Dancing in the dark by Bruce Springstin because there is nothing else that makes her happier than music. Music does not discriminate anyone and no one can ignore music because everything that exists hides a melody. Not even silence itself can escape from rhythm. Melody is not a matter of knowledge but of mere existence.
The bubble that forms the head of the sea horse enlarges like a balloon inflating. Simultaneously, the green scars start a race to reach the bubble. The first scar to arrive moves through the bubble in a spiral motion. In a matter of seconds the bubble changes from the shape of a seahorse's head to a spiral shape that moves in a circular motion, making the bubble look like a drill.
The first bubble bursts, the second one takes its place and another scar gives it a spiral shape and moves in a circular way, it looks like a drill. So, successively, it happens with all the bubbles and scars.
At the second bubble burst, Luz can no longer hold on and is thrown into, so to speak, a nothingness full of darkness. However, this does not last long.
It is not only that the bubbles look like drills; they also serve the same function as one. The drill-shaped bubbles destroy the earth and fragments of it fall on Luz's head. A shower of dirt and small rocks mark her skin like small sandpaper.
Yet she continues to sing the Bruce Springstin song without stopping to take a breath.
Too much "relaxation" can kill her but we know that will not happen.
The earth falls again like rain and she stops singing. The sounds of bursting bubbles make Luz move from one side to the other. It is not only her seahorse made of bubbles, but also another set of bubbles swarming in the darkness in other shapes. These other bubbles are also popping and mixing their shapes with each other. As a result, the darkness is turning the green color of the scars of the other teenagers who did not make it to the championship on time.
Like a sledgehammer, all those teenagers are lifted up from the depths of the earth as sleeping and helpless beings covered in dust and rock. When she realizes that she is buried under the living earth she is frightened and rises up in the hope that she will not find herself in a darker land.
As she lifts all the dirt off her, she notices giant green stalks all around her. In addition, Luz sees other students dig themselves up and look as confused and frightened as she does.
"It is as if we are human plants that we are already beginning to question certain things that are so important... the light guides us."
Luz doubts that this is all part of her dream because she sees totally unfamiliar faces. Whenever she dreams of people they are always familiar.
She tries to stand up but she can't, her legs feel weak or rather too soft for this reality.
The little voice whispers to her, her voice is captured by a bubble formed by the same water that drowns her. This bubble descends a few meters deep and explodes to emit the voice's message:
"Here is the dream you need to survive or to keep dreaming".
Luz wants to silence that little voice that always torments her and makes her feel abnormal. That little voice gives reason to all those who say she is crazy, it justifies the bullying and this is the karma of the adolescent soul... it has to stop.
What has adolescence done to deserve such a punishment?
Luz runs amidst the astonishment of unknown kids as terrified as she is. She looks for her brothers, for someone to guide her as to what is going on around her; for she does not even understand her own dreams.
The problem for Luz is that she can't leave the little voice either, because it serves her to reflect and analyze meticulously. The little voice exerts a great influence on her will. It gives her a strength that no maternal or paternal advice transmits to her. The little voice has just made her weak legs run again; a mental strength more powerful than any incantation in any fantasy book she has ever read.
It only took a few sore buttocks and sore knees from countless falls before the little voice's power took effect.
Some of the students try to climb up through the giant stalks that tower over the wide lawn. Soon, she realizes that this is the same field she had observed while underground. The same field where Alexis was against bullying of anyone other than Luz.
No wonder he himself did not provide the "All without love", a video of her talking to herself; or rather, talking to someone invisible who can be considered an imaginary friend. The worst thing was that Luz did not remember such an imaginary friend.
Even with all these antecedents she was not expelled from the school because; as Alexis is perfect to demonstrate the great level of intellect that is achieved in the school, she is excellent to let the world know the great social help that the institution gives to some poor lucky devils (I think that will not be literal at all). Yes, because if Luz can study in that school it is because her father participated in a lottery and her name was the one that came out of the amphora.
Now Luz finds herself in a world full of tormentingly certain silences and depressingly passionate sounds.
Luz sees one of the boys who, like her, are assaulted with mockery, scorn and the occasional blow, fall from the great height of one of the stalks. It was a voluntary suicide because he smiled while he was in the air, but his eyes, his eyes... as sad as a lost trust.
Although she wants to ignore the chaos, reality may become more attractive to her feelings. The same ones that guide her life and have just come to the conclusion that for better or worse, reality is more intense than fiction.
"The blood of red like the lips that Luz wishes to have... no..."
Although the little voice tries to embellish reality; the tattoo of a small drop on the corner of the boy's left eye reminds her that art is the bed of the tired souls of this reality... if Luz wants to recover her brothers she will have to resist.