Uncle Pumpkin : Mr.Condom

*Read at your own risk. Your author is not responsible if readers roll on the floor laughing.*

While Leena was happily singing and dancing to the nursery rhyme she discovered, her thoughts fluttered back to Carrot. "Too bad, Carrot missed the chance to watch my mission impossible operation. She would definitely praise me. I wish someone had captured my picture when I whipped that man's backbone. Maybe I look cool like Tom Cruise or even better than him. Speaking of that insolent bratty Carrot, I will not allow her inside the house until she gets punished. Let her go to her lover's home today." Leena was continuously complaining and blabbering to herself until she noticed a small puppy walking towards her direction.

"What a pleasant surprise betrayer. Aren't you following your little lover? " Leena sarcastically questioned while Carrot did not even look into her eyes. Leena ignored and started walking when the latter did not respond. Carrot silently followed after her cursing at herself for making her mommy angry again. What can she do? A magnet of attraction forced pulled towards her little love and without any conscience, she marched in the opposite direction. She knew her mommy's anger. It will flare in seconds. She can coax her by merely looking with her puppy eyes. Her thoughts interrupted when Leena suddenly stopped in her tracks and carrot nearly bumped into her. Leena was adamant to punish Carrot by demanding not to follow her, but the moment Leena looked into her clear and lonely eyes, her last straw broke.

"No doubt, this brat is my weakness. I will let her off this time," Leena mumbled and opened her arms. Carrot jumped into her embrace smiling.

" Did you really pee on that dirtball's bag? " Leena giggled at carrot's naughty side. She got a glimpse of carrot peeing on someone's bag when she was smashing that man. Leena knew Carrot never misbehave or gets aggressive until someone touches the bottom line. Judging by the situation, she concluded it is something to do with her.

While carrot was following her little lover, she was still keeping an eye on Leena and caught sight of a man kneeling down while Leena whipping his backbone. She instantly recognized that man. He has been following Leena for quite a long time in the park but never dared to make a move in her presence. So she put her guards down. Who knew this sleazeball would make a move when she is not around. There is no away she would leave him today and an idea popped into her brilliant mind.

She rushed to the stall that sleazeball places his stuff every day and jumped on it. The zipper of his bag was slightly opened. She thanked God for her luck. Without further ado, she peed into the hole and escaped before anyone could see him.

"He needs a lesson. You did a good job little one. I am proud of you." Leena patted her head. Where did she get such a brilliant idea? Maybe this traitor inherited from me?

"What would be that dirtball situation now." Leena wondered to herself.

.....

Lucas Richards headed to the stall he stuffed his duffel bag cursing his luck. What a weird woman. Who would have thought she would be that strong to the point of breaking his bones. He opened his bag zipper and withdrew a t-shirt. Oddly, he sensed something was a miss.

"Strange, why does the shirt smell so bad and why is it so wet? It's not even raining now. God! It smells gross! Should I just throw it? But I whacked plenty amount of money to put on this shirt for a date with that madwoman." Lucas sighed. His shirt broke when he struggled to break free from that madwoman's grip and if he is caught by the paparazzi wearing a broken shirt now, he would be trolled for days. Anyway, no one can see the smell right and he reluctantly put on his new t-shirt. The urge to nauseate was at the tip of his tongue the moment a strong rancid smell penetrated into his nostrils. Arghhh, Why does it smell so bad?

Well, it's our carrot's productive outcome with all the food he dumped into her stomach duh.

The moment he walked into the crowd, they instantly covered their noses and flashed away in a wink criticizing as if he has come out of sewage.

[ OMG! He smells like shit!]

[He stinks like garbage!]

[Did he pee on his pants? What a foul man!]

[Gross! He smells like a rotten rat!]

"I DIDN'T PEE YOU MAD PEOPLE, YOU ARE THE ROTTEN RATS, YOU ARE ONLY DISGUSTING" Lucas shouted and dashed hiding his face, cussing and cursing like a madman.

.....

Leena reached her home unit and opened the door to let carrot inside first.she was about to enter into the house, suddenly a calm voice greeted her.

"Good Morning Leena." A tall middle-aged man smiled at her.

"Morning Uncle Jack." Leena greeted cheerfully.

"Leena dear, how many times I should ask you. Call me uncle pumpkin or Mr Condom." Jack pouted expressing his displeasure. Leena literally choked on her saliva when she heard those words.

"Umm, I prefer uncle pumpkin over Mr Condom." Leena thanked him inwardly for at least giving a choice. Uncle pumpkin? What if it's his childhood nickname. Doesn't it look weird on a grown uncle?

And what is that again? Mr Condom? Leena nearly wanted to strangle him for coming up with such a bizarre name just because he is the CEO of a condom company.

Yes. He owns a condom company.

Jack Owen along with his friend William Henry started a condom business naming it Baloon Condoms. It attracted customers especially youth like bees for its weird and abnormally peculiar flavors and he even captioned with a kinky tag.

Ballon Condoms: Enter to feel heaven.

As if he achieved stardom overnight, which he didn't, he mercilessly kicked his last name Owen and renamed Jack Owen to Jack Condom. Rumour is that he married a woman of his parent's choice and his wife divorced him when she caught him having sex with his friend William Henry. But he never admits he is gay and always flirts with women and claims they throw at his feet but Leena has never seen him going beyond flirting with any women. Leena likes their uncle Jack for his warm personality even if he is abnormally normal. He always treats her well.

"How does my shirt look today. A newly bought one from Amigo brand." Jack proudly tugged his imaginary hair and twirled around again and again to show his so-called beautiful outfit.

"Too flashy and why is that brand so fond of flashy things and judging by your outfit, I assume you are going out?" Leena asked with curiosity. Clad in a Radium green shirt, he matched it with bright orange pants and a pair of red sneakers while the flashy attire hid his handsome features. Even though uncle Jack is a weirdo, he is very friendly and always warm to Leena. He is a great cook and always makes delicious dishes for her.

"Well, It is a trendsetter brand Leena dear and yes, I am going to office " Uncle Jack answered proudly. Leena sneered at his expression. Office my foot. Who goes to the office wearing that flashy outfit. He is clearly going to meet one of his partners. She still remembered the day she came back to her unit to get an important document and spotted a man walking out of uncle Jack's house. His dishevelled shirt, a slight lipstick mark on his cheek, love bites on the neck was enough to understand the turmoil that happened inside. Her mouth wide agape while she processed everything that happened and rushed into her unit before uncle Jack noticed her on that day.

"Have a good day at the office uncle Jack and convey my birthday wishes to uncle William." Leena winked playfully before entering her house. Jack grinned and bid her goodbye. He walked out happily ready for his mission to bang his newly appointed manager.