Chapter 15: Past Recollection (2) and the Diary

I spent too much time thinking about who am I supposed to be, I always keep playing by everybody's rules and it seems isn't right for me.

I'm cool and polite, on the outside but when they know the inside me, who killed lots of people, I know that I'm gonna run and hide from them so they will not going to know it.

I wanted to show more interest to the people around me, and give them a big bright smile like the past me who is a perfect little girl.

But after that car crash incident when someone chased us, without us knowing what we did wrong at them. It all changed into a worst one.

When mom was in a coma, Dad wasn't in his self anymore, he just stayed in his room and never came out, when I would knock and said dinner was really... He will just open the door slightly and get the food.

It was like an everyday routine of his, after Mom was put into a comatose state.

I became a bad guy, when I found out that Dad couldn't afford the payment of the hospital bill for Mom, I met my current boss asking me for a position of making his guard.

He even offered a high amount of money that could definitely pay off the hospital, making me agree to help my parents.

Over the years, my Dad departures to go to his job overseas, so I was left alone, he didn't even know that I was suffering, as well as turning into a weapon in the Mafia.

Crisanto's POV

I was at home in my room staring at the ceiling, then I noticed my past dairy in my box of broken toys.

I grabbed it and sat down, when I was opening g

the diary, I started go write down some experience that I had.

"Dear Dairy

Been a while since I wrote here... I gotta admit, my days had been tougher than I thought it would be.

As many time had past, I had a crush on someone, she goes goes by the name Beatrice but should I give up, most of my classmates had a crush on her and I really thought that I won't have a chance on her.

I don't know what to do! Should I confess?... But what if she will reject me? What will she think of me after.

Argh! This is so tough! Even tougher of the time that 'she' died. I can still remember that one friend of mine, which from the start is the cause of our friendship.

Let me rephrase you so you would know."

~Flashback~

It was peaceful but it was only for a week until one of my classmates that is a girl, started to act like she was the queen of the class and insult us all. She even had a nerves to pull my hair very hard, so I did the same and made her let go, when she was about to do it again but not for me, but to the other girl beside me, as she was about to do so, I slap her because her actions and attitude was just too much for us.

I didn't expect what happened in the next of that because our teacher didn't let us come out of the school because she told our teacher some false reasons.

When our teacher asked us to tell the truth, we told the truth that she was the one who really did it and all of the class saw it. It became a majority and she shrunk in her seat in embarrassment.

That is the start of me and her become friends.

There's this one time, when I was cleaning the area, the teacher said that only pick the plastic, paper, and bottle but not the leaves because it will just keep falling down.

But when I finished, the teacher throw a sack at me and said that "go back to cleaning and pick up that trash!" She yelled.

This was the time after my friend committed suicide. I was confused what the teacher meant because I didn't saw any trash at all but only leaves, the teacher keep pointing at the area where there are no trash at all!

But then, I got surprised when I felt a pain at my other shoulder and arm. And then, I realized that the teacher slapped me! And said that "can't you see that?! Pick it up!" The teacher exclaimed pointing at the leaves.

"b-but you said-!!" I was going to fight back but she glared at me for causing a commotion.

~End of flashback~

When I was finally transferred America, I was so happy and nervous at the same time, because I don't know anyone.

But that all changed when I meet her, she was interesting and a mystery to me, though, I don't know why a girl like her holds too much sadness.

Some people might not going to notice it because she was like a professional of hiding it, but since I have a friend who is kinda like her, I know how to read her.

Beatrice Finley, is the girl I meet, while the others was swooning at me, I didn't care, they only fan girled because of my looks. I know what those girls were thinking because there's a lot of people in Philippines that only choose a male who is handsome and didn't even care about what the male's personality is.

They didn't realize that the male who had a handsome face and had a bad personality isn't a good relationship, a good relationship is when the male even though they aren't that handsome, they loved you from who you are.

Beatrice was, both pretty and kind, I know it in the first glance, she was mostly quiet in class making the others mistaken that she has a bad personality.

She wants to he alone most of the time, I don't know what makes me fall for her but I like the warm feeling that my heart radiates when I saw her, more specifically, when I saw her smile.

But I don't know how to confess to her, because I'm afraid...