Thirty Four.

Dylan

Even though I knew that they would have questions, I hadn't expected Lecia to be this angry. As I stood there, door still wide open and the three of them looking over at me, I was afraid.

What if they didn't want to deal with the hassel of being my friend any more? What if I was just too much trouble for them? I wasn't sure if I could handle that on top of everything else.

Nico moved first, he walked over to the front door, closed it, and locked it. When I felt his warmth next to me, I realized how close he was and looked up at him.

People didn't get that close to me usually, well ever really, besides Lecia who had just recently become a part of my life. I had always wondered why they hadn't felt indifferent to me like all the others but had been so afraid to ask.

"Lecia, chill," he told her, "why are you yelling at Dylan, none of this is her fault."

The tears filled my eyes so quickly that I wasn't even really sure why. Maybe it was everything that happened today, I honestly couldn't say, but this time when I dug my nails into my palms it didn't stop the tears from falling.

Lecia's eyes went from being filled with anger to tears of her own. "Oh sh*t Dylan, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to come off like that," she said with such conviction that whatever hurt had started to bloom instantly vanished.

Within the span of a heartbeat she was throwing herself at me. As she wrapped her slender arms around me, I held back the sobs that wanted to burst from my chest.

She was shorter than me, but it felt as if she was the one holding me up. I didn't like to feel weak, but right now it didn't bother me the way it usually did.

We stood there for a while just crying and holding each other until Cruz cleared his throat, "so are you just gonna stand there crying for the rest of the day or are we going to actually talk about what the hell happened."

Even though I knew he was right about the fact that we really needed to talk about what happened today, Lecia was not in the mood to be told what to do by her little brother.

"Maybe Dylan doesn't want to talk to you about what happened today Cruz, did you ever think about that," she huffed at him as she pulled away from me, and placed both of her hands on her waist.

"No, of course I'll talk to you all, I was just worried," I muttered still trying to slow the flow of tears that was still spilling from my eyes. 

Nico reached out and touched my left shoulder softly, but I still wasn't used to being touched so freely and I couldn't stop the way I flinched away from his touch.

"I'm sorry," he immediately said as he not only pulled back his hand, but took a step back away from me.

"No, I'm sorry," I tell him as I reach out to where he once stood. "I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me. I'm just not used to being touched," I try to explain to him.

"Not used to being touched, or afraid of the touches you've received," Cruz asks coldly from where he still stood across the room.

My gaze immediately went to him, just like Nico and Lecia's. "What the hell are you talking about," Nico asked him in an accusatory tone.

Even though we were all looking at him, Cruz stared straight at me and when I met his gaze, I knew that he saw more than most, and definitely more than he should.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said to him much softer than I intended.

Rae on the other hand was practically yelling for me to admit it to them, to finally tell someone what I have gone through. "Shut up," I hissed at her. 

"Really Dylan, I saw you. They way you froze up when you knew who was here. The way you flinched when he reached out to touch you. The look on your face when you told Lecia you were afraid for her and not yourself."

I had no words to refute him, and I felt my cheeks heat as I looked to Lecia. I hadn't expected her to tell them what I said, but I didn't necessarily tell her to keep that to herself.

Lecia looked at me with no remorse and it only hurt worse. I looked at Nico, then back to Cruz, and shame filled me so completely that I had to get away from them. 

Turning back to the couch, I reached out and grabbed the blanket and started to fold it absentmindedly. Unable to bring myself to look at them I spoke as I worked.

"And what if you're right? What if someone has hurt me before? What if there is someone who scares me or that I'm afraid of? Afraid that he will hurt not only me, but others. What am I supposed to do about it? What can you do about it?"

A new wave of tears fell down my cheeks, and I couldn't stop them no matter how hard I tried to stop them. My nails had gone so far into my palm that I could not only feel the blood there, I could smell it.

Lecia's small hand grabbed my wrist and I felt her rub her thumb across my knuckles. "Don't do that Dylan, don't hurt yourself to stop from feeling or crying, there's noting wrong with that."

My hand was still clenched and my nail beds were now full of my blood. When I didn't shake her off, Lecia used her other hand and slowly pulled my fingers open one by one.

The blood was slowly trickling down my hand and when I felt something wrap around my palm, I looked down and saw Nico wrapping a napkin around my hand.

Unable to look at them. I just stood there with my eyes closed. The tears had already stopped falling, but I was full of shame and embarrassment and uncertainty.

Even if I didn't tell them about Alpha Rogan, they had already seen me shift and seen Rae and if he found out he would end up dealing with them and then me.

The pang in my chest hurt and when Rae spoke to me I didn't try to force her to be quiet. "I think it's okay for you to trust them little one," she told me sweetly.

I was still so angry with her, but I wanted to believe her with my whole being. 

When I opened my eyes, Lecia was still standing right in front of me, but her eyes had that glimmer in them and I knew that she was linking with one of her brothers.

Reaching down to place my now folded blanket on the arm of the couch, I turned and walked straight to the kitchen.

Grabbing the kettle, I quickly filled it with water and placed it on the burner. I took the four new matching mugs that I ordered in anticipation of us having dinner together.

I could hear them mumbling to each other, which was kinda annoying since I knew that they could easily link with one another instead of letting me know that they were obviously talking about me.

Rae took this time to talk to me again, probably since I didn't immediately shut her out a moment ago. 

"Do not be afraid to let them in, little one," she whispered softly into my head.

Maybe she was right. I mean Lecia was still here after everything that she has seen and heard, plus I still needed to talk about the whole shifting thing with the twins.

Before I realized, the kettle had started thumping around on the stove top and was about to start whistling. As I turned to the counter to pour the water into the cups, I almost bumped into Cruz.

I glanced over to the living room and saw that Lecia and Nico were cleaning up the remnants of the soup and sandwiches from earlier, but clearly still having a conversation with each other.

Cruz grabbed the kettle from me and turned to start pouring the water into the mugs and once he was looking away from me, he started talking.

"Dylan, I didn't mean to push you, I was out of line and just wanted to know what was going on. I didn't realize that it might be difficult for you to talk to us or anyone about it," he said softly.

"I'm not weak, I'm just alone," I told him softly without looking at him and what little noise was coming from the other room stopped.

Lecia walked into the little kitchen and started opening the cabinets. I saw that she was pulling out honey, sugar, and spoons.

"We're gonna have tea right," she says when she turned to look at me and there was a softness in her smile that made me want to smile like that.

Nodding at her, I saw Cruz handing the mugs to Nico over the little bar and I grabbed my little box of tea and the milk from the fridge. 

Lecia grabbed a seat and started rummaging through the tea bags. I sat as close to her as I could at the little table, and then watched as Nico and Cruz took the other two seats. 

The blood on my bandage was dry and the wrapping was already starting to annoy me, but I decide against taking it off and having them all stare at it.

Rae encouraged me to open up and share with them, but I knew that I shouldn't tell them everything. Alpha Rogan would be furious if he knew about this, so I decided to tell them just enough to understand.

But, before I told them about my pas,t I knew that I needed to ask them about what happened today. I've watched the way that the boys have been acting towards each other and it seems different than usual.

Once Lecia made her tea, she quickly curled up her legs and made herself comfortable on the little chair.

It made me smile because she reminded me of a damn cat so much sometimes. When she saw me smiling she matched it in turn.

"Whatever you want to talk about, just know that this stays here, between the four of us, 'kay," she said so confidently that I felt almost encouraged.

I grabbed two tea bags and dumped them in my mug. The smell of blood orange and cranberry filled my nostrils and I felt even more at east.

"Can we talk about what happened today," I asked. All three of them nodded at me quickly and I let out a sigh I hadn't realized I was holding.

"I don't mean what happened in the cafeteria, I mean what happened in the hall," I correct quickly.

Not that what happened in the cafeteria with Eren's friends didn't suck, it wasn't the biggest issue right now. Eren and his friends have made my life hell since I was little.

What I needed to know or make clear is that they had to keep the information about Rae a complete secret

"You saw her," I say while looking at my mug, "my wolf, Rae?" 

Even if they nodded, I would have missed it, but Nico answered me immediately. "Yes, we saw your wolf, but I have a feeling that Lecia has seen her already."

His question wasn't accusatory, but he said it like he already knew the answer.

"Well, we are best friends," she said quickly, and the way that my heart lept at her words almost startled me.

Cruz quickly jumped in, "what does that actually have to do with anything?"

"It means," she snapped, "that it shouldn't be a surprise that we share things with each other and keep each other's secrets, duh."

When she stuck her tongue out at him, I couldn't help but laugh, and that helped me keep going.

"I am not supposed to let anyone see Rae, and those who have seen her have all been sworn to secrecy or have completely avoided me after Alpha Rogan talked to them."

"Why," Nico and Cruz ask in their usual way and this time I didn't laugh because I had to answer them.

"Because I'm different," I answered, "we don't belong here. I'm not even sure if I'm truly a member of this pack since I have no bond with it."

"No, you misunderstand my question," Cruz starts, "why does Alpha Rogan feel the need to do that?"

Obviously, it's so that no one talks about Rae, but as I'm thinking of how to answer him I can feel Rae in my head wishing him to keep going, to keep talking.

Lecia is the one who spoke next, "I have been thinking about that myself, because he knows I saw Rae months ago, but he never said or did anything to me."

She was right, but I didn't know why she had been the one exception and the more I thought about it, there was another. 

Eren. 

Eren had seen me shift, not once, but a few times now. I mean, hopefully the Alpha still only knew about the one time, but I'm sure he didn't know about the others or else he would have let me know.

Nico seemed full of questions, "What happened with your parents? Why do you live alone? Who told you that you have no bond with the pack?"

"My parents died when they tried to betray the pack, I live alone because I have no family and the pack orphanage sucks, and Alpha Rogan says that's why I can't link with anyone."

Answering his questions wasn't as hard as I would have thought, but saying those words out loud made them so real. Realer than when I think them and I'm a bit nervous to see their reactions.

Lecia took a big drink of her tea and I can tell she wants to say something, but she seems reluctant.

"That's not true Dylan, Brea linked with Rae, remember," she spoke softly and I suddenly remembered. 

How had I forgotten that? It was that night that Alpha Rogan had stopped by with his guards and Eren. 

Cruz barked at her, "Lecia, how did you forget to mention that all this time?"

She looked a little embarrassed when she replied, "I honestly forgot okay. There was so much going on that day and after and I know that this is hard for Dylan to talk about so I kinda just pushed it out of mind until now."

So much has happened in such a short time and she had been the only one I had to help me get through it all, but she's right. I didn't ever talk to her about Rae.

Rae sent soothing thoughts through me and I knew that she wasn't angry about it, she completely understood. It helped lessen a bit of the anger I still held towards her.

Nico seemed to be ignoring them, and kept asking questions. "Who else knows of your wolf and inability to link with others?"

"A few of Alpha Rogan's personal guards have both seen Rae and also know that I can't link with anyone, but other than that. No one, but you three now and Eren of course.

The moment I mentioned him, Cruz turned his attention back to me. "What do you mean Eren knows," he asks quickly.

I didn't understand why he was so concerned about Eren, but then I remembered that they were friends.

"Eren has seen Rae a few times now," I told him.

Nico turned to Cruz and smacked him softly with the back of his hand, "I guess you were wrong brother."

Cruz stood suddenly, "it doesn't make sense. I'm not saying that Eren isn't a complete d*ck sometimes, but he wouldn't do this to Dylan of all people," he cut himself off suddenly.

"I get it dude, you don't want to think he can do something like this, but you were the one who attacked him earlier," Nico told him.

Cruz was still standing and he was looking at his hands, "but he let me, he let me hit him and I noticed, a little too late, that he already looked beat to hell before I got to him."

Lecia had started to say something about Eren and his friends, but I recalled the moment in the cafeteria when our eyes had met before everything happened. 

"I'm not saying he's innocent okay, I'm just saying that he was the one who begged me to get her out of there, why would he do that if he wanted to hurt her," he yelled at Lecia.

I had missed whatever it was that she had told him, but at his words I remembered that day in the woods when he talked to Rae.

The image of him standing there naked flashed in my head and I immediately tried to push it out. Eren had begged Rae to leave the woods before anyone saw her then also. 

Nico stood and smiled, "well I guess the only thing we can do now, is meet your wolf and see if we can link with her to. But only if you're okay with it."

Rae was completely on board, and even though I was a big nervous, I nodded in agreement. What do I have to lose right.