Worth Pursuing?

Two weeks later...

Catherine and her family settled into their rented new home with comfort and ease. The market, church, and school was just a walking distance from their rented place.

She was able to apply temporarily as a waitress in a nearby restaurant. In two months time Grace will help her to apply as a receptionist in one of the hotel nearby. The minimum wage there is much higher compared to the restaurant.

The restaurant was usually crowded during lunch and dinner time. Her co-workers were nice and friendly. Everyone welcomes her with open arms. The work isn't tiring and lasted up to eight hours daily from Monday to Friday. The wage is minimum and the waitress had to wear decent restaurant uniforms daily, long pants and a white polo shirt. When there's a lot of foods left in the restaurant during the closing time the workers can buy it at a much cheaper price and bring it home to their family's delight.

Sunday is Catherine's off day. She and her entire family usually go to church in the afternoon and during night time they visit the town's plaza where some public entertainment like sing along karaoke challenge or basketball tournament is being held during weekends.

Today was their Sunday family bonding day and it went well as usual. Her younger siblings enjoyed the kiddie fun rides in the plaza. She brought them cookies, pastries, and cold drinks from the nearby bakery.

She got a decent well paying job, John's money was still abundant and making her wallet fat. Her family's life in the city was taking off nicely, actually ten times much better than what their life used to be in the village. Ironically, it's all John's money that provided them comfort. The money that was equivalent to her stolen virginity and innocence. For once in her life, Catherine realized how powerful money is! It can change your life! She no longer has to worry where to get money to buy their daily food staple because her wages in the restaurant and John's money were enough to sustain their daily needs.

For now, Catherine's life turns out for the better...

After they got home that night, Catherine entered her tiny room, her mother and her younger siblings chose to sleep in the space outside her room because it's much more comfortable in there.

She checked her iPhone before sleeping. Just some text from her co-workers in the restaurant. There was also a text from Caroline asking if they are doing fine in the city. After replying to everyone, she placed the phone above the cabinet and lay down on the single bed.

She can't sleep, she was tossing in her bed. Her mind drifted suddenly towards John! Everything that happened between them in the village came flashing in her mind. She shut her eyes as hard as she can, but still, her thoughts kept coming back to John.

She sighed and rose from the bed, she retrieves her iPhone from the cabinet and John's sim card from her wallet. She inserted the sim card and a moment later she was astonished to see too many messages in her inbox, all of them came from John. She began reading from beginning to end. She finished reading at around 1:00 AM. A lot of messages were asking her if she is okay? If she and her family were doing fine in their new environment. Questions such as~why she suddenly leaves the village without informing him? John was truly worried about her and somehow she got affected by his genuine concern for her.

Out of the blue..she typed...'I'm okay. My family is fine. Please don't worry about me,' and she clicked send.

She was not expecting he will reply since he might be already sleeping by now. But when her iPhone ring, it was John's text message! She feels her heart beating faster. She immediately opened the inbox and read his message, more text came pouring in.

'Thank God, you finally texted me back!'

'I miss you so much, Catherine!'

'I love you so much!'

'You have no idea how painful it is to think of you every second and every minute and send you text everyday yet you never replied to me.'

'Where are you now?"

'Let me know your whereabouts so that I can go there in your place and visit you'

'Just let me know please!'

'I really need to see you, Catherine!'

'It's been two weeks since the last time I saw you and am dying to see you'

'What have I done to deserve this?'

'Please stop hating me!'

'We can make things right, come on! tell me where are you?'

Catherine read all his messages with a heavy heart. She has no plan to reply to him, she was about to replace the sim card again but the phone suddenly rings, John was the caller. She was hesitating to answer his call, but she decided to answer him in the last minute.

"Catherine?"

"John..."

...

There was silence between them that lasted for a few seconds.

"Why you left me without saying goodbye?"

"I'm sorry John," that's all she can say.

"Let's meet up tomorrow? I wanna see you again, please?" there was an intense pleading coming from his voice.

"John am busy. Am working already. I have work from Monday to Saturday. Tomorrow is Monday and I have to get up early to work. Hope you understand. I'm going to sleep now. Good night,"

"No! wait...!"

But Catherine already ended his call. Then she replaced the sim, put back the phone above the cabinet and force herself to sleep.

<<<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>

John stared at his cell phone for the longest time that he can remember, his face turns cold and hard as granite.

Earlier, he was elated to finally hear Catherine's voice once again. But his elation faded the moment her line went dead!

Catherine just hang up on him! As if she doesn't want to get herself associated with him anymore. It hit him hard on his chest, he felt like his heart was just being twisted back and forth and his blood was spewing everywhere as far as his eyes can see. It's so damn painful!

Does she no longer want him?

Does she no longer need him?

Does she no longer love her?

Or everything about them was just a lie?

Or the loving relationship he tried to project between them all just existed in his mind. Was he--this desperate enough to experience the love of a woman again? He only loved two women in his whole life, one already died a long time ago and the other one is still alive named Catherine.

Was he lying to himself all this time thinking that love can flourish out of something that had a wrong beginning?

Does he really think and believe that Catherine is someone special?

But what Catherine really thinks of him? Is he a rapist to her eyes? Did she truly hate him?

Or was she just pretending to love him during those times they were intimate together? If everything was indeed a lie between them, then...will he still pursue her? Is it worth pursuing her? He really thought they have something special going on between them. That he can repair the damage of their first encounter and turn it into a magical journey together with her.

But now that she personally rejected him and wanting to get out from his life and his grasp, there's only one question remaining...

Is the love he felt for her is real? Or just a crazy illusion or crazy obsession that will fade in time? or maybe it's all just lust, a carnal desire that will fizzle one day as long he starts seeing and touching other women again? He hasn't done enough soul searching lately to clearly define what is his true feelings for Catherine all this time.

Lots of question running through his mind right now and his heart was bleeding still with the pain of her rejection. Right now, he truly loves her! He misses her presence, for the short duration of time that they were intimate with each other's body, he truly develops tender and loving feelings towards her. He was not lying when he confesses to her that he loves her. But what about her?

What about Catherine's true feelings for him?

Maybe it's Catherine who had been lying all along...

Maybe some things need to end abruptly before they even began...

Maybe, you just can't possibly create or mold fine porcelain out of a broken one.

There are lots of maybe's in his mind and it's making his head spin. But he has to force himself to sleep tonight hoping that when the next morning comes, his mind already got cleared and he will finally be able to arrive into a good decision if he will pursue Catherine or not?

He successfully falls asleep that night after lots of tossing in his bed, with the lone thought repeatedly flashing through his mind...

Will he pursue Catherine or not?