Ren felt like he was falling into a huge ocean.
He thought that he had broken into pieces, with his body and spirit melting in this really hot seawater. Deep inside, his spirit felt like it was being ripped apart, letting all kinds of things — even the ones that were super embarrassing or ugly — to come out without holding back, showing up in front of the person he liked the most, without hiding anything.
He wasn't sure how he appeared right now, but he wished he was just seriously hurt and bloody instead of being seen in such a shameful way.
Ren started to really hate himself, wondering why he couldn't stop himself from rushing to have a quick look as soon as he heard Kestrel's voice. It was really only a sneaky peek from a distance, but Kestrel turned around and saw him right away.
He felt frustrated, but at the same time, he couldn't deny feeling a little happy.