Never Meet Your Heroes #193

'How to go about it...?' I mused as I scratched my head, brainstorming the best way to subtly help Question and point him in the right direction without letting him notice.

I could gradually drop him hints as he went about his investigation, which was the most subtle and guaranteed method but required too much time and effort as I'd need to figure out when, how, and who he was going after next.

From there, it was only a matter of leaving a clue to the next member up the hierarchy until he learned everything I knew about the Religion, but I honestly couldn't spare the time to mastermind that kind of stunt.

Alternatively, I could point him towards Abbot and whisper, which would still require knowing who Question would go for next and dropping a clue about them, like a written order to go after them accompanied by their current address.

I might have to speak to the wolf man and the snake lady and convince them to play nicely, but I won't have to do anything else, which was ideal since I wouldn't need to waste my time planting evidence and clues like some Batman villain.

"Yeah, the choice is pretty much clear..." I muttered as I shrugged my shoulders. "I need to figure out Question's next move first..." I concluded, reactivating my personal computer power to trace my fellow student's tracks after he left the hotel.

I watched him step into an alley with no camera, only to come out from the other side in civilian clothing. He then took a taxi, which took him to Upper Gotham near Amusement Mile.

"Now that I think about it... did Batman get The Joker ...?" I wondered aloud, only to shake my head, dismissing that line of thought to focus on the task at hand.

I saw Question change into his "work clothes" and walk into another dark alley, which seemed to be all the rage in Gotham these days. Luckily this one had a camera, and I could clearly see the two people who suddenly showed up.

I immediately recognized them as Nightwing and Batwoman, which made zero sense until they started talking. I couldn't hear them, of course, but a bit of lip reading, body language analysis, and mega brains made it easy to understand what they were saying.

'What the fuck...?' My eyes widened as I got a better understanding of the situation. "Why is it those two? Where the fuck is Batman...?" I muttered, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion.

"This doesn't make any sense..." I remarked, sighing to myself as I shook my head. Whenever the Joker was out, it was always Batman after him, so why was he nowhere in sight?

Don't get me wrong, Nightwing and Batwoman were no damn pushovers, especially the former. I'd bet on him if he went against any of the caped crusader's villains.

The Joker, though? That was a completely different animal. I honestly don't think anyone, and I mean absolutely anyone, could deal with that lunatic other than Batman.

Well, that one guy, Charlie Collins (your everyday Gotham citizen), who almost made The Joker shit his pants before Batman got there and threw him in the asylum.

Now that I think about it, Daffy Duck (the talking cartoon duck from loony toons) defeated him once, and then there was the scooby gang, who foiled one of his plans in one of the whackiest crossovers in DC history.

"Huh, maybe The Joker wasn't all that he's cracked up to be..." I mused, chuckling in amusement before shaking away the rather intrusive line of thought to stop myself from getting any ideas.

"Looks like I'll have to wait... Hopefully, they'll catch the Joker before he starts making real trouble..." I muttered to no one in particular, despite not being too optimistic about their chances.

...

As they cautiously walked into the motel's front yard, Batwoman and Nightwing inspected the area, suddenly freezing as the projectors on the roof shined a light spot on them.

They heard the screeching of a door and turned to see a man dressed in a purple suit walking out of a room on the motel's second floor. He stepped forward, leaning on the guard rail to look down on the two heroes.

"No ladies, or gentlemen, I see..." The man said, sounding annoyed as he shook his head. "Didn't you children get the memo...? It's is an r18 rated show...?" the man asked, his tone growing more peeved as he spoke, clearly not satisfied with his current audience.

"Give it up, Joker..." Nightwing exclaimed from the front yard, causing the man to tilt his head. "You're not getting away this time, and you've already lost," he added, causing the man to chuckle.

"Pray tell, how did I lose exactly...?" The man asked, raising his head to showcase a broad, maniacal grin that indicated he didn't think much of the two vigilantes.

"Barbara Gordon is still alive, and the commissioner is still as sane they come," Nightwing said, crossing his arms as he gave the man a provoking smile full of challenge.

"One bad day isn't enough to break good people. Not everyone is as pathetic and fragile as you..." Nightwing went on, trying to get under the man's skin, which seemed to work, evident by his hand twitching as it tightened on the guard rail.

"Is that so...?" The man said, the twitch in his hands intensifying for a second before he relaxed and let out a loud laugh. "Then let's see how tough you two really are...!" He exclaimed, grandly spreading his as more light came to light, illuminating the front yard.

Then all the doors in the motel opened, and muscular, tall men dressed as clowns burst out of every room, armed with guns, baseball bats, knives, and other instruments of violence.

Batwoman and Nightwing shared a look before immediately splitting apart, each making for the closest cover as the clowns charged them, then began firing their guns.

"What do babies and grenades have in common?" The man asked and let out a loud laugh as he watched the two vigilantes taking cover before reaching into his inner pockets and retrieving two fragmentation grenades.

"They both make noises when you throw them..." The man added as he threw the grenades at Batwoman and Nightwing. "And I know that one from experience...!" He concluded, his laugh growing louder and his smirk bigger as he watched the two heroes move away to dodge.

"Somehow... I believe it..." Batwoman muttered to herself as she retrieved her zipline and swung into the second floor, landing on top of a clown and knocking him out before he could shoot her.

"I'll catch The Joker. Keep these clowns off my back," The heroine said as she began moving toward The Joker, dodging bullets as she shouted her words at Nightwing.

"Got it..." said Nightwing, swinging in front of her and tackling a goon waiting behind a wide door to ambush her. "Be careful..." he added as he turned to Batwoman before banging the clown's head against the wall and knocking him out.

"Well, what are you waiting for, silly....? Come and get me!" The Joker exclaimed with a manic laugh as he watched Batomwan approach before hurriedly stepping back into the room behind him.

"Time to walk into another trap, I suppose..." Batwoman muttered, sighing in annoyance as she retrieved several Batarangs and began throwing as she made her way through the small army of clowns with Nightwing's help.

...

Gray's hideout

"Their plan isn't bad..." I mused, watching the happenings in the hotel as I threw a piece of popcorn into my mouth. "But for fuck's sake was that speech really necessary..?" I wondered as I watched "The Joker" walk into a motel room with the two heroes hot on his trail.

Their plan was simple and effective. Nightwing and Batwoman would flush out The Joker, put him in a corner, and force him to put his cards on the table, only for The Question to show up and seal the deal.

As I've said, it wasn't the worst plan, but it wouldn't work because that guy in the purple suit isn't The Joker. It was honestly the oldest trick in the book and one of the oldest comic book cliches.

The guy was covering his face, for fuck's sake. How stupid do you have to be to fall for that shit?

Whatever the case, The Joker was likely long gone. Knowing him, he's likely making his way to Barbara Gordon's hospital room or looking for the Commissioner to finish the job, thanks to Nightwing's stupid attempt to provoke him.

"Never meet your heroes, I suppose..." I remarked, sighing as I scratched my head in frustration.

"Especially if they happened to be comic book characters..."