Silent Night #Kazu

I used to have a low tolerance for pain, but that's all changed now.

Kazu, out.

◇

Twenty-four hours.

That's how long a day lasts, but we spend a quarter of it sleeping. Have you ever wished you could do more things? That sleep was just a waste of time that kept you from achieving your goals. I sometimes think that way, when I feel like a day is never enough. But I soon realize that sleep is vital not only for physical health, but also for mental well-being.

But sleep? Come on, I don't need that anymore.

Feeling drowsy? Restart.

Getting exhausted? Restart.

Wounded, big or small? Doesn't matter. Restart.

Starving? Restart.

I curl the knife and press it under my rib cage, feeling a surge of pain that rises in my chest. I'm used to killing myself now. It's a strange way to cope, but it helps me deal with the powerlessness and cruelty of this place. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes an eternity, but eventually I start to twitch and spasm. I grip the knife firmly and twist it inside my chest, making myself dead within seconds. Ugh… the pain.

I wonder what would happen if I stabbed my head instead. I grab the knife and push it into my temple, hoping to pierce my brain. Maybe I could end this miserable existence faster this way. But nothing happens. I pull it out and see a drop of blood on the tip. I feel a sharp sting and then a wave of dizziness. I start to sway and spin, losing control of my body. Maybe I need more force or a longer and thinner blade, like a ice pick.

Every time I restart, I make sure to remove the knife quickly. I once forgot to pull it out and the handle was the only thing left. It was painful to see my crafted knife ruined like that.

Still, it works the same as the heart in a way, more or less. This makes me wonder if life is actually located in the heart, not the brain. I've heard of people who managed to survive even with severe brain damage, even if a large part of their grey matter was gone. But the heart, even a small hole can be fatal. That's why, when the heart is badly damaged, a transplant is always the best option.

Wait a minute, no one ever transplants a brain because it is irreplaceable. I'm totally confused now. Well, it doesn't really matter. As long as I die eventually, it's fine.

Tsk, the irony of life. Being immortal is not for those who are weak-hearted.

◇

I can barely see my own hand in front of my face. The air is heavy and stifling, as if a thick cloak is wrapped around me. I hate feeling vulnerable and exposed in the dark, where anything could be waiting for me. I won't let anything attack me without giving me a fair chance to fight back and defend myself.

I look for a large glade with enough distance between me and the trees. That way, my movement won't be hindered by any obstacles. I don't want to be surrounded by trees that could hide any lurking predators. I need a clear view of my surroundings, so I can spot any movement or sound that could signal danger.

I settle in the middle of a spacious glade, facing the direction where I came from. No one would dare to follow me here, but I'm not taking any chances. I've learned the hard way that this world is full of surprises and threats.

The sky is dark and starry, with no moon to light up the night. The stars are like tiny pinpricks of hope in a sea of despair, lighting up the sky with their faint glow. The wind bites my skin with its icy teeth, making me shiver slightly.

A pack of ferocious direwolves or something even more terrifying must be howling in the distance, sending shivers down my spine. And there, behind a bush, I see two red eyes staring at me with hunger and malice. They are like glowing coals in a fireplace of hell.

I sit and wait, patiently and alertly. After all, the principle of survival of the fittest is at work in this strange and hostile world. There's no way these monsters will give me a break or show mercy tonight.

"Come on then," I whisper to myself. "Let's see what you've got."

I try to sense my surroundings, because my eyes won't be much help in surviving the night in this darkness. I rely on my other senses, such as hearing, smell, touch, and intuition, to detect any signs of danger or opportunity.

I wish I had a fire to keep me warm and scare away the monsters. But making fire is harder than it looks. I've tried many times before, but I always failed. Maybe if I had watched more YouTube Shorts on how to make fire with primitive methods, I would have succeeded by now. Or maybe not. Who knows what kind of crazy stuff they put on YouTube these days. Maybe they would teach me how to make fire by rubbing two sticks together under my armpit…and then setting myself on fire. In rage!

But it's too late for regrets now. It can't be helped. With more experience and practice, I'll eventually make one successfully.

I curse this moonless world that deprives me of light and warmth.

I smile grimly and tighten my grip on my knives. They are my only weapons in this strange and hostile world. Five knives; I've made them from different parts of monsters I've killed along the way. They are sharp and sturdy, ready for action and combat.

All I can do is wait for the beasts to attack me, whether in a pack or solo. It doesn't matter to me. I'm ready for any anything.

Bring it on.

◇

The ground trembles under my feet as a deafening roar echoes through the air. I can hear the crunching of bones and the snapping of jaws as something tears through the forest. A giant beast, or maybe a herd of monsters, is coming for me.

Clenching my fists around the two knives I'm carrying, I turn to the right and raise my right hand.

Thwack! My blade plunges into the creature's throat. It's one of those pesky green-scaled fiends that have been stalking me for days. They have red eyes, sharp claws, and a nasty bite. They are fast and vicious, but not very smart. I kick it away with a swift motion. It falls to the ground with a thud.

I spring to my feet and hurl a knife at the approaching menace. It's another one of those green things, but bigger and stronger. I hear a loud thud as something collapses, but I don't have time to check it out. I pull another knife from my waist and take a half-crouching stance, ready to defend myself. I raise both hands on either side, holding the knives firmly.

Thwackkkk!

Heavy.

The one on the right falls lifelessly into me. I managed to hit it in the heart when I raised the knife. The left one, on the other hand, does not die. It bites me in the neck, just between the collarbone and the shoulder. I feel a searing pain and a hot trickle. Blood is gushing out of my wound. I… I need to restart.

The monster won't let go. I try to pry it off, but it's too strong. Its teeth are digging deeper into my flesh. I use my right hand to push it away, but this one is too heavy. Damn! What did you eat? To be that heavy.

Fumfum!

The ground shakes beneath me, sending jolts of fear through my spine. What is it now?

Something emerges from the ground.

Huge.

I can only vaguely see it in the distance, but I know there's no way I can fight that thing.

It's a gargantuan mass of flesh, or… damn, what is that abomination? It looks like it can swallow a whole city in one bite.

Before I know it, with so many teeth, its mouth is already in front of me, seconds away from swallowing everything in its path.

The only thing I can do is yell. "I WILL KILL YOU!!!"

◇

Restarted.

The huge monster swallows me whole, and I am probably inside its belly.

Soft.

The flesh is soft, like piercing a bubble gum with a sharp needle; damn, that is my last knife. No matter how hard I try, I can't pull it out from the monster's guts. It sinks deeper and deeper into the tissue.

A rumbling sound echoes everywhere around me. The beast shifts its colossal body. Damn it, the space is getting tighter here.

The walls of flesh begin to secrete a corrosive liquid. Ouch! That burns like hell! Acid? I try to wipe it off with my sleeve but I suddenly have a brilliant idea. I then press my entire left arm on the wall of flesh, and as expected, it melts rapidly like butter on a hot pan. Ugh! I gasp as the acid burns through my skin and nerves, sending waves of agony through my body. What kind of twisted pain is this!

My left arm is now just bones, with very little tissue and muscle left on them. I don't bleed at all from the wound. Does the acid have an anti-inflammatory effect that prevents bleeding?

I grab my now skeletal arm and snap it off my shoulder. Gross, it feels disgusting and slimy. "This will do," I say as I dismantle my bones one by one.

Among my dismantled bones, I pick out a sharp one. It looks like a tooth of a monster I had once slain, with some veins still on it.

I align my shoulder with the one without an arm on the walls of flesh and visualize spreading my hand. I imagine how it would feel to have fingers and nails again. I plunge the sharp bone into my chest and pierce it through my heart without even taking a deep breath. I feel a surge of pain and darkness before everything goes blank.

After restarting, I wonder if my plan had worked. Had I managed to inflict enough damage on it to make it stop its movements?

"Warggghhrg!!!" "Warrrrrghhh!!!" It thrashes and roars like a wounded beast, making the insides quake with its fury. It sounds like a raging storm in my ears. It finally comes to a standstill. It stops moving and making noise.

Of course, it doesn't die with that; it may have felt a sting from my attack. It may have felt a minor pain or discomfort from my assault. But it is not sufficient to kill it or make it vomit me out.

"Yeah, you should chew your food properly!" I shout, trying to mock it with a bitter laugh. But of course it doesn't hear me. It doesn't care about me. It doesn't even know I exist. I am just a speck of dust in its stomach, a nuisance that it would soon digest or expel.

This monster has no internal organs, and it is either very long or simply enormous. The only thing I can do is continue to sting it; because some areas are too narrow for me to squeeze into. I can only move around in the spaces where there is some air or fluid available.

Now, I am trying to penetrate the gap left by a restart and stick my head into it, hoping to choke it and trigger another restart. But it is quite tricky; I almost get stuck between the flesh when I continuously restart. Luckily, when it squeezes me, its flesh becomes a part that prevents the resurrection.

Crack! Every time I hear my bone break is also the time the restart activates. And slowly but surely, I hope to make my way through the gap until I reach the outside.

Despite its resistance, I gradually carve my way out. However, this monster has a thick skin, and it takes me until the morning just to get out.

I can now see its colossal body thanks to the sunlight. I look like a speck of dust in comparison to its size. How is it possible that such a thing exists? How can something so large survive on this world?

It doesn't notice me and it slowly drifts away, sometimes digging and surfacing from the ground. It performs a graceful swimming maneuver, twisting and turning its long body. It is like a giant worm that can tunnel through soil and rock.

What an enormous earthworm… What a horrifying creature…

Sigh, can there ever be a day when I can defeat something like that? It is possible with my phone; but I don't want to depend on it too much. I won't use it unless it is absolutely hopeless.