3.04

In the morning, as the interns gathered around Bailey, she warned. "M&M in fifteen minutes, people."

"Wait, we get to go to M&M? Even if we haven't finished our rounds?" Alex asked, surprised.

"Even if. I want all of you at the M&M today." The resident explained as Helena smiled to herself.

As Alex let out a cheer, she looked at him disapprovingly. "People die in this hospital on our watch. Once a month, we meet to discuss how our actions as physicians contributed to the deaths. This is a serious exercise." The resident reprimanded. At that, dread filled Helena's stomach, though she couldn't quite figure what it was about.

"George, Alex, you guys get good seats, is three will get snacks." Cristina told the boys.

Just as Meredith and Cristina were leaving, Helena grabbed their arms, having figured out what she was anxious about. "Wait, wait, wait." As the both of them turned around to face the girl, she whispered, a knot in her throat. "We talk about patients who died on the M&M. Patients whose death could have been avoidable. Patients whose death was caused by us."

As Meredith seemed to realize what the brunette meant, Cristina looked confused. "So, Baby Einstein? We get to hear our bosses being kicked in the teeth instead of us!" She sounded excited.

"She means they might bring Denny up." Meredith sighed, Cristina's brows raising.

"No! They won't, will they? They won't."

"Ok, maybe you're right. They wouldn't...." Helena whispered, attempting to calm herself.

——

As Helena sat down at the M&M, Cristina tossed her a snack and she heard George complain about how Callie was still mad at him.

"Didn't you apologize?" She asked, opening a bottle of water.

"I did! I'm done... I am not apologizing anymore. I'm enjoying life, I'm loving the M&M." He sighed.

"Ok, people. Let's begin." The Chief called through his microphone. "Patient 34986 died last month from complications following a heart transplant. Dr. Burke will present."

Realization dawned upon the interns as the attending approached the podium.

"Hey, guys..." George started.

"Isn't patient number 34986...?" Alex completed.

"Denny." Meredith answered.

"Eight million dollars... eight million dollars could get us on a plane to somewhere far far away." Cristina let out, referring to the money Denny had left Izzie.

"Oh, why do I always have to be right." Helena sunk down on her seat.

"Cause of death at autopsy was an embolus that dislodged from the suture line of the transplant and cause a CVA with brain stem herniation." The attending continued and many hands shot up.

"So the company line is that he died of a CVA?" A female attending asked.

"That's not a company line, it's what he died off." Burke deadpanned.

"Uh, yes, let's get back to this patient's need for an emergent transplant. You're saying that his left ventricle had been weakened by the Lvad malfunction?" An older attending asked, Helena sinking even more on her seat and putting her head on Cristina's shoulder, as if looking for comfort.

"His left ventricle was weakened by the fact that he suffered from congestive heart failure."

"Come on, Dr. Burke. We all know the Lvad was cut by an intern."

"I'm going to my happy place." George whispered, sinking into his seat as well.

"The exact chain of events remains unclear."

"It remains unclear to you because you were in the ER with a gunshot wound. Why aren't we hearing from Dr. Bailey? She was the senior physician on this case." The man pressed on.

"Yes, I was the resident in charge." Bailey stood up, Helena feeling for the woman as she walked up to the podium. "Dr. Burke has summarized the medical facts of this case. Are there any questions for me?"

Several hands shot up and Helena closed her eyes, bracing for what was coming.

"You recently had a baby, Dr. Bailey?" A man asked as Helena felt her face heat up.

"Oh, no, he didn't just..."

"I don't see what that has to do with this." The resident maintained her composure.

"Sleep deprivation coupled with swings in hormone levels are factors that could cloud anyone's judgement." He went on and Helena shook her head in anger.

"I sleep just fine, Dr. Savoy."

"Really? Cause if a patient had died due to my poor decision making, I would lose some sleep over it."

The Chief stood up. "Let me remind everyone that our purpose here is not to place blame. This is a form to discuss mistakes on patient care and learn from them."

"Well, so far I haven't heard Dr. Bailey admit to any mistakes." The doctor pointed out.

"Why don't they just put a bullet on the back of her head?" Cristina whispered to her fellow interns.

"It would be more humane." Meredith agreed.

"I hate this. I hate this so much." Helena whispered, an arm around shoulder as if hugging herself.

"So, for a period of several hours your interns were running lose in the hospital, totally unsupervised." Savoy continued.

"I'm waiting for a question." The resident affirmed.

"The question is where were you."

"There was the shooting and the ER was chaotic."

"The ER is always chaotic. Did you page them during this time?" The male doctor kept with his interrogation.

"Yes, I paged them multiple times. Only Dr. Campos showed up, we didn't need her on my case so she helped out in the ER." The resident let her gaze fall of the short girl.

"Well, apparently, the rest of them thought it was ok to ignore your pages. Dr, why do you think your interns have such contempt for your authority?"

At that, Alex shot up from his seat and yelled. "You don't know what the hell you're taking about!"

"Dr. Karev. Sit down." The resident instructed and he obeyed.

Suddenly, Helena noticed their blond friend standing toward the back of the room. "Izzie." She told their friends.