11.05

"I'm gonna want more scans. 3D renderings so I can get to know this tumor better. I'm gonna need to draw up measurements and trajectories." Amelia told Arizona and Helena, each on one side of her. "When do I get to speak to her previous doctors?"

"Well, as soon as we talk to Dr. Herman." The blond told her.

"Great. When are you doing that?" Amelia asked, the two peds surgeons sharing a look. "It's a big cliff, you just got to leap."

"We stole medical records, in my name. We racked up so many HIPAA violations..." Helena let out, her brows furrowing in worry.

"It's not a cliff. That's . And I'm too pretty for prison." Arizona let out.

"Like I told Alex, have you seen me with the heigh, and the dimples, and all the nervous energy? I wouldn't make it." Helena shook her head, fidgeting with her wedding ring.

"You are saving her life. Well, am saving her life. But you made it possible. Once you tell her, once she understands, she will be ok with it. She'll be happy. Ultimately, she will be thrilled. You want me to tell her?" She offered, lacing her arm's in the other women's.

"No. No, we have to do it." The younger girl denied.

"I just need to figure out how and when. How and when..." Arizona nodded, as they entered the exam room.

As they did, the found Nicole standing there. "That's my tumor. That's tumor. Where did you get it, and why do you have it?!"

——

"You showed my tumor to other doctors, without my consent?" Nicole asked her two fellows.

"W-well, it was accidental, at first." Helena let out.

"And we needed to understand- " Arizona agreed.

"You had no right! You stole them!"

"W-we did." The short girl admitted.

"We had to!" The blond nodded.

"Do you know how many laws you're breaking right now?" Nicole shouted.

"You weren't telling us anything!" Helena snapped.

"I can remove the tumor." Amelia told her. "I don't know who you've been seeing for this, I'm sure they're great, I'm sure they're the best in their field. But I can only tell you they lack imagination. They lack scope. Your tumor is smart. It's brilliant. But so am I. I can beat it. I will beat it."

Helena and Arizona flashed Nicole a smile, who simply grabbed her purse, leaving. "I have surgery."

——

"I left you alone for a few minute. Am I gonna find my wallet in your pocket?" Nicole let out, as she entered the scrub room Helena was in.

Arizona has already scrubbed in on one of these procedures, now it was Helena's turn.

"I'm sorry that w-we went behind your back." Helena let out, grabbing the soap to begin scrubbing in.

"You're not understanding it. You betrayed me. I though I could trust you."

"Amelia is convinced she can do a complete resection. She's convinced that- "

"Shepherd is in a party of one." She cut her off.

"Nicole, if there's even the slightest bit hope, don't you want to know that?" Helena tried, facing the woman.

"Campos, can you name the single worst, most malignant symptom of terminal cancer? It's hope. It's recurrent and it keeps creeping back in, no matter how many times it gets ripped apart." Nicole told her, as Helena scrubbed, shaking her head. "Mayo face me hope in a phase 3 clinical trial. It failed. NYU hoped that radio surgery would work. It didn't. And Barrow had high, high hopes for a potent combination of chemo and ablation. No go. And every time the hope goes, it takes chunks of you with it. Until you can only find comfort in the one thing that you know you can count on. That this thing is gonna kill you. So you tell Shepherd to keep her hope to herself. Better yet, tell her where to stick it."

——

"And why do we wanna avoid putting in another port?" Nicole asked, in surgery.

"Because each incision increases the chances of rupturing the membranes." Helena told her.

"Exactly."

"Lena." Jackson called, entering the OR. "Uh, sorry to interrupt. I wanted to ask if I could meet with you and talk, you and me and April."

"Her hands are a little full right now, Doctor." Nicole let out.

"O-of course, Jacks. We're almost done here." Helena nodded.

"Yeah, I meant after. But soon, please. I just, uh... I need to be prepared for whatever it is. We need to know everything we can. What it is, what we can do. Everything." Jackson told her, holding a mask to his face.

"I'll find you ASAP." Helena smiled, reassuringly. Then, after he left, she explained to Nicole. "They're my friends, the baby with osteogenesis imperfecta."

"Uh, I see. You're clear on what to tell them?" Nicole asked.

"Yes. I know." Helena nodded.

"Just remember what I said about hope. Don't make it any harder for them than it already is."

At that, Helena scoffed, shaking her head. She'd had too much. "I-I'm sorry, can you take this, please?"

"Campos?"

"I'm done here." Helena ripped her gloves off.

"Campos!"

——

"Campos!" Nicole called out, joining her at the nurses station. "You don't ever walk out of an OR in the middle of a procedure. Ever."