Chapter 8: Jamie - Blood of Betrayal, Part 8

Caitrin and Androu did the polite thing and asked Eagan to stay, but he declined. When the pleasantries were over, Jamie stood, hand on his dirk. "With the end of our blood debt is the end of my patience, Androu. I have tolerated yer taking Father's place because, as the slave of another, I had no choice. With that yoke lifted, I am free ta hate ye as I choose."

Caitrin stood, eyes wide, mouth open to interject, but he waved her to silence.

"I have done as I swore I would, my honor is satisfied. I promised once I would leave Androu alive fer ye, Caitrin, an' I hold ta that, though he deserves ta be torn apart by wild dogs fer both the sake of Father and Margaret, and I will keep his company no longer, nor yers. Fer Father's sake, may the blessings of the new year be upon ye, though I ken not if ye deserve it either."

Then he swept from the room to his chambers. He tugged out his old bag and had it half-filled when footsteps came outside his door. He turned, expecting Caitrin or Eagan. Instead it was his nephew.

"What do ye want, Simon?"

"Ye cannae leave, Uncle." The young man laid his hands on the traveling bag, as if to stop Jamie filling it. "Ye promised ta make me as you are."

"I dinnae ken how. Ask yer ma ta do it. She is the one who gave the magic ta me."

"Nay. I asked ye once before and yer promised ye would, when ye were released by Eagan."

Jamie didn't remember promising, only saying the lad had to wait.

"I ken how 'tis done," Simon added. "I asked Eagan before, and Ma as well. Ye must drink my blood first, then, when I am all but empty, ye must give me yer blood, ta drink. When I have had enough, I will be one of the fae, too."

Jamie gently moved his nephew and went back to packing the bag. "Nay. Have yer ma do it. I dinnae have the time fer ye ta pay a debt ta me."

"Then take me with ye. Once ye get settled-"

Jamie sighed and closed his eyes. "Nay. I dinnae know where I be goin' or what'll happen. I dinnae need ta worry about a bairn."

"I'm not a bairn anymore! I'm a man, and ye ken it as well as I. I'm not worried about where ye be goin', be it ta England or Ireland, or beyond. I promise ta serve ye and-"

Simon went on and, for a moment just a moment Jamie was tempted. In his nephew he saw all the goodness he'd once seen in Caitrin, and in himself. All the possibility and innocence. But, just as that made him want to take the lad, it was also the reason he couldn't.

"Enough!" he snapped. "I will not take ye with me, and that's the end of it. Go, afore I have ter beat ye senseless fer aggravating me!"

The young man hesitated, then fled, hurt on his face. Jamie hated to do it that way, but if the lad kept talking, he might have given in. Perhaps having a human along might be helpful, and it would be company.

No. Better ta leave clean. No reason ta return.

Outside in the courtyard, Jamie stopped at the foot of the large tree, where Margaret was buried. Gently he opened the pouch that hung at his side and tugged loose the lock of red hair.

He knelt, the memory gripped tightly in his hand. "I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry that I wasn't here, that I couldn't protect ye from Androu and his machinations. Even more, I'm sorry that I didn't kill the bastard when I had the chance. Ta leave him alive makes me no better; ta fail ta get ye the revenge ye deserve makes me as guilty as him. But I cannae leave Caitrin alone, not unless I want ta accept the burden of her care, and I cannae."

He touched the dirt with his fingertips, a gentle caress, the way he'd once traced her cheek. "And neither can I take ye with me, love. Just as I'm leavin' Simon, I must leave ye too. I'm sorry."

He dropped the lock of hair to the ground. The sight of it; of the red strands mingled with the dusting of snow, made his chest catch, but he stood and turned away before he could change his mind. He'd planned this a hundred times nay a thousand and he must let nothing stop him.

Not even Eagan.

The older vampire met him in the stables, sucking on a pipe and looking as jovial as ever. "Ye made yer mind up, then?"

"Aye." Jamie saddled his newest horse. "Dinnae ye try ta talk me out of it either."

"Nay, I wouldn't dream of it, lad. Ye must go where ye must go. But dinnae forget yer sister. She loves ye."

"As she loved our father?" Jamie asked dryly. "Would she 'a let me swing ta save her husband an' her children?"

Eagan shrugged. "Who can say? Ye should thank the Gods that ye won't have ta find out."

Jamie scoffed and swung up on the steed. Eagan stepped back, but caught the horse's reins. "Where ye be goin'?"

"I dinnae know, but any place is better than here, away from the memories and the curse of betrayal that hangs over these stones. Since I woke, healed and confused, I have borne the black mark of the traitor. Though I did not betray my father nor my wife with my own hands, by failing ta get revenge when I had the chance, I am no better. It's as if I did the deeds myself."

"Do ye still hold on ta the past?"

"Aye, up ta now 'tis all I had, but as I leave here, I shed it all. I leave the ghosts behind, and hope ta outrun the curse. 'Tis only hatred I'll take with me, because I cannae find a way ta kill it."

Eagan looked sad. "I hope fer yer sake ye learn how ta one day."

"Aye, so do I."

And with those final words, Jamie set off into the night, leaving everything he had ever known behind him, bound for anywhere.

Anywhere has ta be better than here.