Keeping Up With The Browns II

"And that's how we met." Congressman Brown completed his romantic tale of a rich political refugee meeting an up-and-coming Los Angeles councilor.

It had taken no less than five minutes for the Congressman to regale him with the story, a tale he told with practiced ease. There were beats in the story that even Irwin had to be impressed by, such delicate understanding of human emotion was clearly why his fellow politicians had taken a liking to him.

In any case, it appeared to Irwin that Linda was a Kuwaiti refugee running away from her government after verbally attacking their incessant corruption and histrionic need to please their monarchy.

He had already asked Anthony if his wife had any magik in her or if anything supernatural had happened during their time together. His answer led to more questions.

"Nothing of that sort." He had answered.

The man was lying, completely oblivious, or had been enchanted so much that anything supernatural was then changed into the mundane. Either of those answers would not be ideal for Irwin needed Congressman Brown to be his way into the senate.

Still, he reviewed what he knew of the Creatures category. Creatures were creatures created by God himself, they could control various abilities or have none at all. They were unlike Celestials–angels and other beings of divine existence–or Demihumans–Beings that took humanoid form, but are, themselves, not humans, like Pagan Gods, Fairies, and such.

Class 1s were humans, animals, and other normal creatures that existed in the mundane world and were generally untouched by the tendrils of magik and the supernatural. Hunters fit into this ideal given that their weapons of choice were human-made and, even if they use talismans or curse objects, there was a degree of separation between these items and their persons.

Witches, Warlocks, Occultists, Blessed Priests and the likes were considered Class 2 Creatures. Irwin and High Priestess Olivette were Class 2 Creatures, able to request nature to bend momentarily in exchange for slivers of magical power and, often, sacrifices of value.

A complete surprise, however, was that Lady Anastasia was a Class 3 Creature when he had checked. Class 3 creatures were the likes of Fairies, Giants, and Dwarves, beings that existed through human imagination or small realms that coexist with the larger ones. Avalon, for instance, was the home of the Class 3 Creatures called Fairies while the denizens of the other eight realms of Norse mythology either were Demihumans or Creatures.

If he was being perfectly honest, even he had a hard time differentiating if a being was considered a Creatures or a Demihumans. If not for the help of his Trading System and, in this instance, his earring, then he would probably be fumbling through the dark every time he encountered one.

During the hubbub with the Garden Park, he had asked Lady Anastasia about her Class 3 Creature status, but she remained meek on the matter. Frankly, Irwin was not going to press the matter because she could get pretty temperamental about secrets and, while inside of Lisbon Valley, she was still stronger and more prepared than him.

Class 4 Creatures were beings that God had created through experimentation or through the consequences of his actions, beings that could collapse reality or have enough strength to pierce the veil of cosmic power. Beings that exist because of the Natural Order, the very nature itself, taking back its control.

Irwin was not yet sure what that all meant, but he was thinking that Death, and its reapers, and the Empty were Class 4 Creatures. He wouldn't have the balls to confirm it, but it was nice to think that even they were classified. It was nice to keep at least a portion of sanity and order to the cosmic scale.

"That's a good story, Anthony. Can I call you Anthony?"

"Of course. You've already saved my life, Richard." Anthony's laugh reminded Irwin of a stork. "I was just waiting for you to be comfortable on a first-name basis."

"I see. Very emphatic of you." He remarked before narrowing his eyes. "But, uh, it doesn't really answer my question, does it? C'mon. You have a gorgeous woman in your life and you fuck it up with someone who, respectfully, looks like your wife's left toe."

Anthony barked a laugh, not at all offended, apparently. "I don't know what to tell you, Richard. It's just one of those things that makes sense, you know. My wife's pregnant–eight months, by the way–and I can't fuck around the house…"

"Suzie Anne?"

Anthony shrugged his shoulders and settled in his seat. "She's been telling me no since Linda entered her first trimester."

"I see. Well, in any case, it's your fucking life." Irwin chortled mockingly. "I just hope it won't fuck up your political career. Lest I remind you, Congressman, that I only include you in my plans because I need someone on the Legislative Branch of the country."

Anthony nodded his head with a solemn expression. "I know. I also know that you can always add in another seating senator if I fuck up, especially with that hundred million you won."

"Half of that thing's reserved for the Protectorate." Irwin chuckled, thinking of creating an HMO for hunters with doctors that owned a private service and those that wouldn't ask questions about bullet or bite wounds.

"Are you sure that you're settled with the name… Supernatural Protectorate of America?" Anthony asked, looking at Irwin with pity in his smile. "It's a handful. Its acronym isn't catchy, and, frankly–"

"I know, it sounds fascistic. Jesus."

"Listen. Replace 'Supernatural' with another noun. New, National, Heritage, Power, Freedom, Aryan, White, Imperial, Socialist, uh–"

"I get it. I get it. I'll think of a better name, but in the meantime, we're going to go with that." Irwin conceded, smacking his lips at the thought of people thinking he was of the persuasion. "Now, uh, what have you been up to? Are you brushing up on your supernatural lore?"

"Ah, yes. Werewolves, Wendigos, Vampires, and the lot. The hunter I've been talking to, Simon, he's sending me journals about this stuff." Anthony's tone changed to a more excitable one as he animatedly talked about his delving into the world of the supernatural. "Did you know that there are a hundred different ghosts? There's a Japanese one, a normal one, one that can be summoned by a witch, and not to mention the one we encountered in the airplane."

Irwin felt like an elementary teacher nodding at an animated toddler about their "There are. I hope he's not scamming you about talismans and the shit. You need a Wiccan do that stuff and they're very rare."

"Yes, witches!" Anthony stood up and delved into his desk, retrieving a rotting notebook out of a ziplock bag. "I bought this from Simon for half a grand. Really cheap. He said it's, uh, Hoodoo. Real shit, not the Voodoo people are talking about"

"Yeah, it's also fake." Irwin didn't even need to touch the notebook to realize that no magik of any kind was emanating from the pages. Even so, he checked the writings for a few seconds and found the sentences to be nothing but ramblings of a woman who thought that she figured out the trick to casting hexes without the need for components. "Even my master can't do something like that. You don't need to do magik, Anthony."

"Of course, of course." Anthony rubbed his hands together. "So, onto business, then?"

"Yeah." Irwin straightened his tie and unbuttoned his second button. "Anything in the FBI?"

"Yeah, I got a call from Henderson's boss, Steven something, and he's a fan of me and your money." Anthony chuckled at his bit. "He's going to inform us of any and every operation in finding the Winchesters, so we're good on recon. However, I can't take out the warrants for the robbery, murder, and cop killing thing. That's life thrice, I think."

Irwin nodded. "The warrants are fine. Good job on contacting Henderson. Are we gonna have a problem with Henderson and his partner, though?"

"Their boss told me that the other one is reasonable enough, but Henderson's a tough cookie." Anthony said.

"I'll deal with him." Irwin nodded as he gazed at the window and into the nightlife of Los Angeles. Still, he could see an expectant gaze from Anthony and knew that the politician was waiting for his turn to be handed a 'gift'. "Oh, before I forget…"

He took out a necklace from his jacket pocket. Gleaming in bronze light, the necklace had a cracked vinyl as its base and a bronze border with a fleshy rope that tied it together.

"A protective talisman. It can block a projectile or a spell five times."

Anthony's mouth hung in amazement. "P-projectile?"

"Pistol bullets, rifle bullets, rocks, a fucking RPG. Anything that counts as kinetic projectiles."

"Jesus Christ!" Anthony whistled in amazement, gently lifting the talisman from his hands and scrutinizing every piece of its engraving. "Do you know how many assassinations we can prevent with this? Our troops–"

"Cannot afford it. Believe me. I wouldn't supply them with it even with a tenth of the US military's budget." Irwin said. "Set me up a conversation with Henderson. I have an inkling that he'll be reasonable enough. Also, find me a crossroads near LA and, uh, I'll give you a list of materials to acquire."

"Crossroad?" Anthony leaned in. "Are you trying to summon a demon? Like make a deal with the devil."

Irwin leaned in. "Yes, and no. You don't need to know everything I do, Congressman. We may be business partners, but half of the things I do would make you break down."

Anthony put up his hands as he chuckled. "I believe you, I do. Just the stuff I learned with Shapeshifter alone kept me at night. You know, I installed two dozen security cameras in the building. People think I'm paranoid because of the airplane hi-jacking."

"As you should be."

The door opened with a creaky slide and a brown-skinned lithe woman with piercing blue eyes entered the room along with three black dogs and one large cat all tied on the same leash.

"Hello! Hi! Mrs. Green said that the dinner is ready to be served." The woman gazed at Irwin in a curious light before showing off her canine teeth. "Your friends are already there."

[???? - Class 1 Creature]

"Ah, thank you, Ninda. We'll be right there," Anthony said as Ninda nodded and left the room, her animals glaring at Irwin for a moment, and strained against their leashes before following after her. "That's, uh, Ninda, our pet caretaker, and generally handles the laundry on the second floor. She's Nima's older sister."

"Yeah. I can see the… resemblance."

Anthony clapped Irwin's shoulders, and the two exited the room, seeing Ninda standing a few dozen feet away and petting the enormous cat. As Irwin held back a step, he let his earrings activate and categorize the woman. Although this time, his eyes widened at what he found.

[???? - Class 2 ???? ]