Chapter 125

Lucifer searches high and low for Jack once Chuck gives him the all clear to leave Jo's room. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as he had hoped. Jack's just not there. He can't find the kid in the garage. He can't find the kid on the roof. He can't find the kid in the halls. He can't find the kid in the dungeon — why the kid would be in the dungeon, Lucifer has no idea, but he's making sure to check all his bases.

When that doesn't pan out, he's left with one more option. It's not one that he's particularly excited for, but it's about all he has left, so, after a couple moments of hesitation, he flies to the war room.

He finds Jack pretty easily. He's listening to Castiel very intently, despite the fact that, knowing the angel, it's probably something boring.

That's not the part that gets his attention, though.

The first thing that catches Lucifer's eye is not that the kid is here and safe. It's that he's talking not only to the Winchesters, but to their angel friends, too.

Emphasis on .

Plural.

Clearly, Lucifer has missed a lot, because Sam and Gabriel are chatting it up like old friends. Granted, they technically old friends, but after Jess showed up, any semblance of a relationship they had was gone. So, what, now that she and Kali are out of the way, they're back together? Well, that's just peachy.

But, while he's complaining about them in his mind, he's also noticing Jo and Michael, not too far away. They're sitting on the floor with their backs against a wall. Jo is showing him something — probably some type of movie, if the sideways phone and shared earbuds are any indication. And, to top it all off, Michael has his arm around her shoulders like the perfect little boyfriend, as if Jo hadn't just been complaining that he's too . Apparently, he's not boring enough.

So, to recap, because Lucifer needs a minute to process that no one cares about him: Jack has inserted himself into Dean and Castiel's parental care, Gabriel has apparently stolen Sam back, and Jo and Michael are enjoying their dull and lifeless relationship.

So where does that leave him?

"Oh, Lucifer, you're back," Michael says with a warm smile. "I wasn't expecting you to drop by."

Lucifer is acutely aware of the fact that everyone is now looking at him, and, he has to admit, he's not as thrilled with that fact as he would have been a few months ago. He's still intent on not causing a scene — which, it seems, is too late to do anything about. Still, any entertainment he can give Chuck is too much, so he'd like to limit it as much as possible.

"Well," Lucifer says after a brief pause, "I'm stuck here, too, so..."

"But you never spend time with us," Michael says, and it's unclear whether he's oblivious to Lucifer's discomfort or just pretending to be.

"Yeah, well." Lucifer shrugs awkwardly. "I think I've reached my social interaction quota for the month, so see ya."

He disappears from the room in the blink of an eye. He doesn't even have the motivation to make it fun, like snapping or whatever. He taught Gabriel many thousands of years ago that flying away is boring if you don't make some sort of scene. Flickering out, snapping and disappearing, whatever. It makes it more exciting. For once, Lucifer doesn't want to be exciting.

As soon as he's alone in the dungeon, he collapses. He never thought he'd pick the dungeon for a vacation spot, but every other hiding place has been discovered, and he's running out of options. At least he has the power to make it a little brighter, try to cheer it up a bit. A hidden crevice behind a bookshelf that holds a devil's trap on a concrete floor isn't the optimal feel-good space with any amount of light, but it seems a little more cheerful.

He sprawls out inside the devil's trap, staring at the ceiling helplessly. Everyone else seems perfectly happy here. Why is he the one struggling? Didn't he go through enough of this isolation shit the first time God got cocky? Why did Chuck have to put him through it again?

"Well, this sure is an interesting change of scenery."

Speak of the devil.

Lucifer just sighs. "What do you want now, Chuck?"

"To talk."

Lucifer scoffs. "You say that every time you pay me a visit. You can start telling the truth, you know. I promise, it won't make me hate you any more. I've already reached max capacity on that."

"I'm serious, Lucifer," Chuck says. "I'm just here to talk. No tricks, no gimmicks. I'm not trying to set you up or embarrass you or anything like that."

"Mm hmm," Lucifer hums. "Unfortunately for you, I've already filled my social interaction quota for the month, so I'll see you in a few weeks, okay?"

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

"Fine by me," Lucifer says. "I've got nowhere else to be. You probably do, but I don't think anyone will mind if you quit meddling in their lives for a month."

"Really?"

"Mm." Lucifer closes his eyes. If he's going to be here for a while, he might as well try to relax.

"I've never known you to take one for the team before," Chuck remarks.

"Of course you have," Lucifer replies. "It's just never been team, so you just send me away and ignore it every time." It's what he got for questioning humanity. It's what he got for daring to go through with the apocalypse — one that he had actually thought his father wanted, though that's a whole different betrayal.

"Now, tell me," Chuck says, ignoring that remark. "Why would you be willing to take one for the team when that team doesn't even like you?"

"Jo likes me now," Lucifer says, though he's sure it's more along the lines of 'tolerates' him. "So you can't use that one."

"Right, right, of course," Chuck says. "And aren't you two just the cutest?" He says the second half in a mocking falsetto that pisses Lucifer off. So much for just being here to chat.

"Oh, yeah, really," Lucifer deadpans. "Talking about our relationships like a couple of teenage girls at a slumber party. So cute."

"And, of course," Chuck adds, "you have Jack on your side."

"Jack isn't on anyone's side," Lucifer says. "He's a kiss ass — a kiss ass who just wants to go home, for the record. You basically tore a kid from his parents, so kudos to you."

"I think you and Gabriel make parents," Chuck says. "You know, like soon-to-be divorced parents staying together because they think it's what's best for the kid."

"I think our divorce finally went through." Jack seems more than happy where he is now. Gabriel must have won the custody battle.

"What, you've given up trying to break out of here?"

Lucifer lets out a long breath. "Well, given that you're fully aware that he's trying to get us out and yet you seem blissfully unconcerned, yeah, I'm betting we don't have a chance, so I'm out."

"Honestly, I don't know if he can do it," Chuck admits. "Hell, I was kinda rooting for it when it got you out and about."

"Why do I find that very, very hard to believe?"