CHAPTER 1

"They'd be lot and lot and lotttt…" Lucy tells me for the umpteenth time, excitedly.

When it comes to boys, Lucy is always excited. Way too excited if you ask me.

"All you know is boys" Rolling my eyes, I coat her lips with a red lipstick and ask her to smack them together for a blended effect. I move to her back to fix her hair.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" She made to turn and face me. I push back her head "Anyways: What's wrong in knowing only about boys? "She continues?

"Everything!" I retorted. "And; I am done" I added as I went to the front of her to check out what I had done. I have always loved working on raw surfaces with colors. Started in school when I was very little, I could draw just about anything. I just had to be given a sample, leave the rest to me. But back in college, I discovered another channel to fuel my creativity and flair for colors and that was makeup.

"Trust me they can't be that bad"

I gave her one of my near-death stares and quietly sighed. I went over to the bed and sat down on the bed like I was scared to. It's been a habit, a bad habit that I have always wanted to stop but am still too traumatized to.

Lucy looks at me and sighs. "Fuck Carlos! These guys are nothing like him"

"How do you know that?" I look at her amused.

"Trust me" She winked at me "Plus; have you seen the state of their body? Words on the street say that they are ravishing" She gave a little squeak "I am sure they would also be ravishing down there" She added as she bit the side of her lower lip and winked at me again.

"Lu…; can you keep it down a notch…" I laughed, looking at the door to my room "My parents are upstairs…"

"…sleeping" She added for me. "Emerald darling..." she moves closer to me on the bed and holds my hands, "If you can just forget your parents this one night and come with me" She looks into my eyes, pleadingly.

I took my hands off her hands, and moved away, trying to get away from this lady who was trying to make me break my resolve.

I have been divorced for two years and it still feels like I haven't spent enough time being single. Every time I remember what I went through at Carlos's house, I get hurt all over again.

"Lu… I love you, but nah. I do not want to see any type of man." Pacing back and forth I added "Talk more of 'lot and lot and lottt of them'" I mimicked her giving her one of my finality looks. Just then my mother entered. Since I had run away from Carlos' with nothing but just my nightwear on, taking the last train to Michigan, looking beyond distraught and attempting murder twice, my parents had picked up the habit of entering my room without knocking.

She looks back at me with one of her own 'it isn't over yet' looks. With Lucy, it's have it my way or no way at all.

"Hi, Bonita" my mom called me.

Lucy stands to hug my mom "Hello; Mrs. Sullivan" running her fingers through the length of my mom's hair.

My mom is half Indian, half Spaniard which to me is one of the finest blends of ethnicity. She has the body of the Spaniards and the face and hair of the Indians. She speaks good American English even though she wasn't born here. She was born in India to a Spaniard father and an Indian mother, in India after which she and her parents who are my grandparents, moved to Spain. She lived there all her life till she met my dad, an American through and through who went to Spain for a business deal, ended up closing the deal, and also got a naïve Spaniard girl pregnant, who happens to be my mom.

"Hello; Lucy" My mom smiled at her. She was one of the few friends who stuck with me through my trying times with Carlos and after it. And my mom was always glad to see her in the house.

Still running her fingers down the length of my mom's hair "Mrs. Sullivan, how about you showing me your hair care routine?" My mom chuckles. I shook my head at her. She has been asking my mom about her hair care routine for as long as I can remember.

Lucy looks at me and back at my mom "Yeah; I know you've got those mixed countries wrapped up in you but…" She looks at me "Mrs. Sullivan, help a sister, please" and back at my mom with a teasing pleading look.

My mom laughed "Lucy, you never cease to tease me. Don't you?"

"I don't think so, Mrs. Sullivan" she gives my mom another hug.

"You staying for dinner yeah, Lucy? It's been long we've had you here during dinners"

Lucy was already throwing her cross-body bag over her shoulders getting ready to leave "Nah; Mrs. Sullivan. I promised Rueben I'd be home early to prepare dinner. Maybe some other time."

'Hmmm…" Mom gave a knowing look "Go home looking like this to prepare dinner and you might get a third child"

"urghhh; Mrs. Sullivan!" Lucy exclaims. "I tell Rueben that I am okay with two for now and even though he has his reservations, I have said my piece" She adjusts her body con dress that hugs her perfect body.

Lucy has one of the bodies to die for I have ever seen and even though she talks about mine and delivers speeches upon speeches on how she'd swap her body with mine in a heartbeat, I have chosen not to take her seriously. Lucy is one hell of a smooth talker, take her seriously at your peril.

"Alright then" My mom sat on the only chair that was in my room, besides the dressing mirror. I Remember when I used to take ages in front of this mirror, playing dress up by myself and pretending I was going to prom with my College sweetheart, Carlos. At the thought of Carlos, my heart tightens. I could feel the pain starting to come up my throat, almost like I could taste it on my tongue.

I cleared my throat. "Would you say hi to my favorite musketeers for me?"

"Might as well bring them over to you for hols" She rolls her eyes and frowns "I hate kidssss!" She gave a dramatic sniff. I had always wondered why she complains about her kids the way she does.

I'd love to have tons and tons of kids. With Carlos; it was different. Four years of marriage and he wasn't ready for kids. He'd always use protection or pull out when he came. A lot of things broke me in my four years of being married to him. With Carlos; everything was different. Hurtfully and painfully different.

She comes towards me, pulls me into her, gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, and with a "We are going" and a challenging stare breezes out the door of my room.

"Where are you guys going?" Mom asks the moment we could hear Lucy's footsteps pattering away on the staircase.

"Nowhere" I began to pack my make-up stuff into my make-up box.

"Bonita" My mom's voice sounds worried.

"Mama; it wasn't a big deal" I began to reassure her "You know how Lucy is sometimes. She hears of random parties and feels like I am the charity case who needs saving from staying indoors, manless" I forced a laugh. "It isn't that big of a deal mama."

She took my face in her hands, peered into my face, and pulled me in for a hug.