7. Chapter 7(2)

Had they been dating, Lena realizes suddenly, it might have actually worked better than expected. It still could. She shoves that aside for processing at another time.

“I’m happy for you,” Sam says managing to sound genuine enough that Lena smiles fondly. “You seem really happy.”

“Thanks. I think it’s the first time I’ve felt this positive about a relationship,” she adds before she can stop it. The truth comes barreling out of her and even she’s a bit surprised to hear the words. There’s a flash of a wince on Sam’s face that she takes a guilty pleasure in before deciding to let the past lay where it should.

“Have we sufficiently shuffled the elephant out of the room?” Lena asks, a teasing twist to her lips that seems to relax Sam.

The other woman leans back in her chair a bit, crosses her legs. “Sure,” she concedes. “I guess I just hope we can be friends from here on out.”

Lena’s not sure if she’ll ever be able to be truly friends with Sam, but she’s seen stranger things happen so she nods. “Friends,” she says definitively and waits for Sam’s nod of approval before continuing on, “So, friend to friend, let me hear this business proposal.”

Sam takes a breath, smiles.

--

Lena feels accomplished after her meeting with Sam – a far cry from how she’d felt when she first saw the meeting on her schedule. A weight she didn’t realize was there feels lifted off her shoulders and when they hug their goodbyes, it feels genuine and lacking the kind of angst she’d felt before.

How much that has to do with knowing she’s headed to Kara later, Lena’s not sure, but regardless it no longer aches much at all to think of Sam.

It’s a good thing too seeing as Sam’s proposal was actually legitimate – not just a front for a more personal conversation – and something she can see Luthor Corp moving forward with. They’d scheduled a meeting later in the month to talk logistics and contracting.

By the end of the work day, Lena’s in a decent mood. It makes the obligatory appearance at the cocktail hour much more bearable than usual and she even finds herself smiling genuinely at a few investors as she works the room.

When Lena shows up at Kara’s apartment, it’s Kara that actually answers the door for the first time. Walking around at a relatively normal pace and beaming so hard Lena nearly tackles her in a hug.

Instead, she settles for a much more restrained smile and a, “You look great.”

“My back still kind of hurts, but I can walk around now,” she says with a happy bounce to her feet. Her eyes run up and down Lena’s body and Lena feels suddenly self-conscious when she remembers how she’s dressed. It wasn’t her intention to come here like this, but there hadn’t seemed like a lot of time between the cocktail hour and the appropriate time to come to Kara’s so she’d just headed straight there instead of changing.

The dress is black and sleek, and her heels are the kind she likes to wear to tower over the condescending masses of men she usually has to interact with at these things. Jack likes to call them her power pumps. They make her legs look great and her hair is pulled back into a severe bun behind her head and she’s wildly overdressed for a night in with Kara.

Something crosses over Kara’s expression; a few things, really, like Kara doesn’t know what to say.

“You look nice,” seems to be what Kara settles on, but it comes out a little strangled. “Really nice.”

A hot flash courses over Lena’s skin and she puts a self-conscious palm at her hip. “Thanks,” she says, voice thicker than she’d like.

“Hot date?” Kara comments, sounding so forced Lena almost laughs. There’s a sour look on her face that Lena reads easily and she can’t decide what to think of it. There’s a thrill threatening to shoot up her spine.

“I came straight from a Luthor Foundation Cocktail Hour,” she tells her, stepping inside the apartment and past Kara. Their bodies almost brush and the hair on the back of Lena’s neck stands up. There’s something dangerous about the look in Kara’s eyes right now and it’s not doing much for her master plan of learning how to be platonic friends.

“Oh,” Kara says, clearly incapable of not sounding relieved. “Sounds fun.”

“Remind me to take you to one and we’ll see how fun you think it is,” Lena says dryly and when she turns, Kara’s smiling. She can imagine, for a second, taking Kara to such a function. Kara in a well-tailored suit, her arm around Lena’s waist, carrying on conversations that always exhaust Lena. She wants that. And it feels more in reach than ever, even if it shouldn’t.

“Deal,” Kara says, voice too low not to make Lena’s chest feel light.

--

They end up sitting at the kitchen counter and eating the large spread of Italian Lena’d brought over. Their stools are inches apart and Kara turns to sit sideways and face Lena as they eat. It means their thighs brush ever so often when Kara shifts and Lena can’t help but take comfort in the movement.

Kara looks so casually attractive right now. Lena had never thought she’d find the ensemble of track pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up appealing, but on Kara it flutters something unstoppable in her gut and makes her want to run her palms up the hard line of Kara’s forearm.

She’s not particularly distracted from her desire as Kara talks over her rehab – she’s allowed to dribble and pass basketballs now. She’s so clearly happy, her legs bumping against Lena’s and her smile contagious. After they’ve managed to exhaust that topic, Kara asks how Luthor Corp is.

“It was fine,” Lena says. “The Dutch were happy. And I got a proposal today from Sam.”

Kara is unfortunately taking a drink in the middle of that, because she chokes on her sip of water immediately, coughing heavily. It makes Lena laugh, which makes Kara glare.

“I’m going to assume your ex didn’t actually propose to you at work,” Kara says, her voice scratchy, after she manages to take some deep breaths.

“No,” Lena says. “She did apologize for the way our break up happened, though.”

“That’s nice,” Kara says, though it sounds like she thinks nearly the opposite. Something about the tone makes Lena feel warm. 

“She wants to be friends actually,” Lena adds

“Do you want to be friends with her?” Kara asks, forking a piece of chicken into her mouth.

Lena shrugs. “I’m not against it, I just don’t know how realistic it is.”

“Why’s that?”  

“There’s a lot of history between us,” Lena says, thinking of what it was like seeing Sam for the first time in so long at the club. “I think it’s kind of hard to be friends with someone after you’ve seen them naked.”

It occurs to her what she’s said as soon as Kara laughs. Sometimes she forgets how parallel the situations are. It’s hard not to wonder if being friends with Kara is as farfetched as being friends with Sam though for entirely different reasons.

“I suppose that's true," Kara says quietly. "But we seem to be managing okay." There’s something heavy in the air when their eyes connect.

“Yeah,” Lena replies, scrambling for a way to turn the conversation. “I suppose you’ve always managed to be friends with people you’ve slept with.”

Kara makes a face, her brows coming together severely. “What does that mean?”

Heat crawling up her neck, Lena keeps her face neutral. “Just that – well Sara for example,” she says, hating the ever-deepening look of confusion on Kara’s face and wondering for the first time if she’s been missing something this entire time. “Or Diana.”

A bark of a laugh escapes Kara. “Diana’s married,” Kara says emphasizing the word as if it’s crucial. “She has been for like forever. Did you not know that?”

Lena had not known that all, but she tries not to let her surprise show. “That’s – well good for her.”

Kara’s eyes search Lena’s face and she grows warm under the inspection. “You thought I was sleeping with Diana?!”

“I don’t know!” Lena says, putting her hands up defensively and straightening. “You’re out with her a lot and a frequent subject of gossip. When we first met I saw you linked to no less than three girls in a week.”

Though Kara’s face is incredulous, there’s a hint of a smile. “Are you telling me this whole time you thought I’ve just been sleeping around with half the league?”

“Not half ,” Lena replies quickly and at Kara’s grin, she glares.

“Lena,” Kara says softly, her face growing serious even as her smile remains. “I’m not going to lie, I’ve definitely slept with a few of my friends. That’s what happened with Leslie.”

“I remember,” Lena says, trying not to grumble it out.

“And I’ve managed to keep healthy friendships with nearly all of them, sure, but…” Kara pauses, her jaw working back and forth a minute. “It’s not really the same.”

“What do you mean?” Lena asks, though she can see it plain as day on Kara’s face. The moment feels thick suddenly.

“The other girls. It’s not the same,” Kara says. “It doesn’t compare to how I feel about you.”

Silence drops around them and it’s not the first time Kara’s made a comment like that, not the first time Lena’s been reminded of their mutual feelings for each other, but right at that moment it feels like all the tension that’s been coiling between them for weeks just snaps.

At least for Lena it does. Her body just reacts to the look on Kara’s face and their proximity and this built up well of desire in the pit of her stomach and they’re kissing. She pushes off her stool and fits in between Kara’s legs and is idly very grateful Kara had stopped eating during their conversation because there’s nothing to impede the way their mouths slant together.

The feel of it impacts so swiftly in Lena’s chest that her breath whooshes out of her and her hands pull Kara closer by her chin. Kara’s hands land on her hips and it feels so good Lena’s not sure why she ever wanted to resist it.

Until reason regrips her consciousness and she abruptly pulls away, her feet pacing backward until she nearly trips over her stool.

Kara’s breathing hard, looking at her with wide eyes and glossy lips and Lena would like ever so much to go back to kissing, but her brain is running a million miles a minute with all the complicated reasoning she’s wrapped herself up in ever since this thing started.

“Lena,” Kara says, breaking the silence first.

“I’m sorry,” Lena says, shaking her head. “I don’t know why I did that.”

Kara’s quiet a moment, but stands, her hands going to her hips and chin lifting just so slightly. “I think you do.”

“I shouldn’t have,” Lena says, clinging to the last vestiges of her resistance as she matches Kara’s stance. "That was impulsive." 

Kara sighs, the sound of it aching under Lena’s ribcage. They regard each other for long seconds, Kara wavering back and forth on her feet and Lena would reach out to steady her if she could trust herself to touch Kara without touching Kara.

“Can we just talk about it?” Kara asks in a small voice and Lena’s throat aches.

“About what?” Lena asks knowing full well what Kara’s talking about.

“Why you think we shouldn’t be together when both of us clearly want to be,” Kara says matter-of-factly.

Instinct has Lena ready to protest, but before the denial can even leave her lips, Kara’s expression darkens. “Be honest,” she commands in a way that Lena is helpless not to obey. "I just want to understand." 

Taking just a moment to gather her thoughts, Lena takes a breath. “Your whole life is basketball,” she says. “Just how mine is my company.”

“I know that,” Kara says, but Lena holds up a hand to stop her.

“We talked about this that first night,” Lena continues. “There just isn’t a lot of room for relationships. In either of our lives.”

Kara’s lips thin with discontent. “You’re talking as if we haven’t been managing to find the time for each other for months now.”

It’s true. Lena can’t deny that much. Despite both of their jobs, they’d found time to see each other in way Lena might have thought impossible before. “Because it was casual,” she says.

The laugh Kara lets out is more a scoff than anything else. “Right,” she deadpans, sounding sarcastic.

“It was,” Lena insists. “And anything more than that means commitment, means taking time away from the bigger priorities. I’m not going to be something that takes you away from your first love.”

Kara observes her then, blue eyes searching about Lena’s face until she feels her cheeks warm. “Look,” she starts, taking a deep breath and letting her expression soften. “I’ve spent most of my life not caring about much other than basketball.”

“I know,” Lena says and Kara’s lips twist.

“It obviously worked out for me.”

Lena laughs at the casual shrug Kara adds to the end of the sentence. “I’d say so.”

“Priorities can change,” she says in a quiet but firm sounding drop of the words. “You’re not taking me away from anything. You’re just adding to it.”

“Kara,” Lena starts, fighting the way her throat feels like it might suddenly close. “This is basketball we’re talking about. It’s your entire career.”

“I don’t know where you got the idea that I can’t have both things,” Kara says, a curious look in her eyes.

Lena’s quiet a moment, searching through her own confused mix of feeling. “Maybe I just know that there’s a possibility you can’t.”

“And you think I wouldn’t choose you,” Kara finishes for her, wrapping something cold around Lena’s ribcage.

“You barely know me,” Lena says, the words not much over a whisper.

Kara scoffs and it’s a bitter sound that has Lena swallowing thickly. “I may not know your favorite color still, but I know you.”

“Sex is –”

“It was more than sex,” Kara says, the persistence and determination in her voice starting to chip away at Lena’s already crumbling walls. “We did other things. I know you may not have noticed – I didn’t notice until you straight up told me – but it was always there. I was always falling in love with you.”

It’s like standing with her head underwater for a moment. Lena’s not sure what to do anymore other than cling to the tattered remains of her ridiculous logic. “It’ll be complicated,” she says and only after it comes out does she realize she’s talking about it as if it is definitely going to happen.

Kara must realize it too because her lips quirk up. “That doesn’t scare me.”

“It could ruin both of our careers.”

“No, it can’t,” Kara insists.

“Not yours, maybe,” Lena says.

“And not yours either,” Kara says.

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you’ve built something at Luthor Corp too big for either of us to topple. That much is obvious to anyone,” Kara says and there’s something about the way Kara looks at her that makes her feel empowered, unstoppable. For just that moment she buys entirely into the fiction Kara’s creating.

“People will talk,” Lena continues, running down the list in her head. “And it won’t be good. What if this goes south? What if we –”

“We don’t have to make an announcement,” Kara interrupts. “Nothing has to change from how it was before.”

Lena arches a brow at that to which Kara rolls her eyes a bit and adds, “I just mean – we can keep it secret for now. Just…I won’t date other people, and neither will you.”

“Were you dating many people before?” Lena asks before she can help herself and a tiny smile plays on Kara’s lips.

“No,” she says softly, and Lena feels something go light in her stomach.

“Really?”

“Really,” Kara answers, nodding. “I told you that one time in Vegas that I hadn’t been sleeping with anyone else.”

“I know you did.”

“Did you not believe me?” Kara asks, arching a knowing brow.

Lena flushes, shrugs a shoulder. “We didn’t have any promises to each other back then,” she points out.

“And now we will,” Kara says firmly. The words feel like the slamming of a door against her chest.

“This is really risky,” Lena says, feeling the concession coming fast.

“Some things are just worth the risk,” Kara says. “Isn’t that what you were trying to teach me forever ago with poker? There are just some hands you don’t fold.”

“And some hands you do,” Lena points out, trying not to get distracted with the memory of the poker lesson Kara’s referring to. It comes as a surprise that Kara remembers anything substantive beyond the way they’d ended up falling on the pile of chips and cards on the hotel floor.

“Aren’t you tired of fighting it?” Kara asks, a kind of desperate exhaustion in her voice that makes Lena want to reach out towards. “Because I am.”

Lena makes a disbelieving little noise. “I don’t think you’re the one fighting it,” she says for lack of any better response. If anything, Kara’s the one that seems so relaxed about the entire thing, so comfortable with everything.

Kara smiles wryly. “If you don’t think not kissing you every time I see you doesn’t take a lot of work…”

It makes Lena want to press back in, to push into Kara’s personal space until they’re kissing again. Instead, she presses her palms to her thighs and takes a deep breath. “I’m not very good at this,” she says and at Kara’s curious look she adds, “Relationships.”

“Just give me a chance to prove to you that this can work,” Kara says quietly, and Lena feels any misguided resolve pull hard out of her heart.

“I’m scared of what could happen if it doesn’t,” Lena admits in a voice barely above a whisper.

Kara’s face goes so soft around the edges that Lena wants to sink into her body. “It’s okay to be scared,” Kara says, and she reaches out to lightly trap Lena’s fingers with her own. “Just don’t let that stop you from doing it.”

A precarious silence drops around them and Lena feels the last barriers fall with an inevitable swoop of her stomach.

“Okay,” Lena says, breathing the word out and feeling like she might cry if she’s not careful. “I’m in.”

A radiant kind of look bursts across Kara’s face so suddenly that Lena has to take a sharp intake of air. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lena nods, and she steps forward, back into Kara’s personal space. “You’re right. I’m tired of fighting it.”

Kara searches her face as if to be sure before her smile widens and she threads forward until their lips are together again. This time, Lena lets herself sink into the feeling, brings her hand up to Kara’s sternum and grips at the fabric of her shirt there to keep them close. Kara’s hands have slid to her hips and the touch feels so familiar that her insides go liquid.

The kiss drowns everything else for long moments until Lena tapers it off lest she do something reckless like shove Kara against a wall.

“I should let you know that I can’t actually have sex for like…a few more weeks,” Kara says when they break apart.

It takes a second to process, but Lena laughs, smooths out the wrinkles her fingers made in Kara’s shirt. “I think I’ll survive,” she says though her body feels like if Kara gave the green light right now, she’d be falling into bed already.

For the sake of the Lakehawks playoff run, Lena’s glad Kara said something.

“Maybe you will,” Kara replies wryly, a suggestive waggling of her eyebrow that has Lena laughing again.

“The last thing we need is some article about how your injury was exacerbated and how,” Lena says and Kara’s smile goes wide and amused.

“I think we could handle it, you’d just have to do all the work,” Kara says with a wink that Lena rolls her eyes at.

Swatting at Kara’s arm lightly, Lena clicks her tongue disapprovingly. “After all that business, I’m pouring myself a glass of wine,” she says, moving away from the temptation of Kara’s body and suggestive expression.

“The very suggestion of doing any work and you need some wine,” Kara says, laughing, as she turns to reach for a glass for Lena from the collection on the counter. “You’re lucky I stock up for you.”

“You think you’re so funny,” Lena says, but she’s unable to stop the short laugh that comes out.  

“If you’d just stop laughing at all my jokes, I might think differently,” Kara says, a smile on her face as she presses a kiss to the side of Lena’s head.

--

They end up on the couch watching the tail end of a Skippers game. Lena protests only the slightest - her interest in basketball starts and ends with the Lakehawks - but Kara tells her it’s good preparation for the playoffs. The Skippers are routing Central City and both are possible playoff matchups for the Lakehawks depending on how the points shake up.

Kara’s commentary is much less involved than it is during a Lakehawks game, but Lena imagines that might have something to do with how close they settle together and the hand that’s drifted over to Lena’s thigh. They watch the entirety of the game and then the postgame show. There’s an extended conversation about the postseason and when they show a clip of Kara’s injury and some pictures from the Lakehawks social media of her recovery, Lena reaches forward to change the channel.

They sit through another hour of local news and then a rerun of some show Kara says is hilarious. Lena laughs only because Kara’s laughter is loud and infectious.

An emotional exhaustion from before starts to creep up on her, but she finds herself resistant to the idea of leaving. She wants to hover in Kara’s airspace a bit longer, sit in the feeling of this new thing they’ve endeavored on.

But when she fails to suppress a yawn, Kara notices and Lena gives her a conciliatory smile

“I should get going,” Lena says, standing and watching as Kara does the same, stretching her back out just the slightest. Lena watches the movement and is pleased to note Kara only winces a few times.

“It’s late,” Kara comments and they both glance at the time on the small cable box under Kara’s television.

“I know,” Lena says when nothing further comes from Kara. “That’s why I should get going.”

Kara looks hesitant for a second, her feet shifting and eyes darting away before she says, “You can - you can stay the night if you’d like.”

Kara’s face is the same kind of open and honest that Lena fell for months ago and when she stretches out her hand in invitation, Lena doesn’t know how to resist it. Doesn’t want to.

“That sounds nice,” she says quietly, sliding her palm across Kara’s who smiles at her.

Lena takes a pair of extra sweatpants and an old t-shirt that Kara offers her and slides into a bed she’s been in so often. It feels like the start of something new and exciting even if it’s something they’ve done a million times before. It feels right.