Stand Still

Ellanor

Another beautiful sunny summer day in the mountains, just the perfect kind of day for off-road riding.

Every Sunday, for the last few years, me and Sean spend the day chasing 'the thrill of the moment'...rock climbing, canyoning, target shooting, downhill, you name it, we've done it all. Two peas in a pod of the adrenaline junky kind, that's what we are.

Anyway, this summer, we've been off-road motorbike riding in the mountains and I just can't seem to get enough. Apart from a slight burn in my frigging leg, on our second time riding, this is now my favorite way to spend the weekend.

Sean is my dearest friend...ok, maybe my only friend...being just two years my senior. We live in a small secluded community, deep within the mountains, near the coast of Algarve, Portugal. There are only six houses and a community building, all of them complying with the traditional local architecture design, with white walls, blue framing surrounding the windows, intricate designed chimneys and hipped roofs.

Sean came to live with his uncle and aunt a couple of years ago and we hit it off instantly. Until then I was the only teenager around, being homeschooled by my mom, which growing up, often made me wonder how would it feel to live in a city and get to go to school with a bunch of girl friends, but truth is, at the end of the day, having my two loving parents always proved enough. Like every other woman in the community, my mom takes care of the house and my dad, unlike the other men who work outside the community, takes care of the orange grove and some crops and manages the community building.

Today, while waiting for Sean on my motorbike and contemplating the green mountains surrounding us for as far as the eye can see, appreciating the peacefulness of it all, I feel my stomach clench from the thought of leaving this place behind by the end of the summer, when I get to start college...God, my life will become so much different that I'm really not sure I still want do go. Do I? As odd as it may seem, life in this place suits me, it tames my wild heart and having Sean only ads to my sense of completion here.

Lost in thought, I startle when I feel a hand brushing my shoulder and I turn around to find Sean's beautiful smile and hypnotizing grey eyes...Jeez, I'm not even daring to look south of his face which I recently realized makes me queasy as hell.

Hormones much? Yeah, right!

"Hey Ella, are you ready?" He slowly checks me out, in my white tank top, black sports bra, ripped faded jeans, brown biker boots and small backpack.

"Umm, yeap, packed and ready, with pb&j sandwiches to last a week." I smile.

"C'mon, let's get going you pb&j addict." He chuckles.

Oh boy, why the hell do I get goosebumps when I look at him? Maybe it's because he's ripped, hot, warm, beautiful, sweet, did I say hot already? You get the picture.

"Ella, put your helmet on." He grins picking up my helmet and strapping it in place.

"Yes daddddd!" I retort as I power on my ride and look at Sean just in time to catch some eye rolling. Damn, he is hot!

Try and catch me bad boy, I'm giving you a run for your money.

In the back of my mind I hear doors slamming, voices, people yelling and I know I'm on the verge of a dream, in that split second when we realize we're dreaming but not aware enough to wake you up, you know?

"Ella, wake up".

Sean? Couldn't be.

"Hummmm." I roll in bed and pull the covers to my head as I try to drift back to heavy sleep.

"Ella baby, please wake up." Someone is shaking me out of my sleep, hard.

I jump back in bed, startled with Sean's frantic voice.

"Ella, you need to get up. Now!" He calls out. Sean's voice carries an unusual urgency and panic in it.

"Sean, what's going on?" I ask, still sleepy, as I try to focus my eyes and look around us.

He holds me by the shoulders. "I need you to listen to me. You need to go, they're coming for us and we need to make sure they won't get their hands on you." He tries to control his breathing as he lifts me from bed and places me standing next to it.

I look around astounded, spotting my mother near the door frame, eye-wided, staring back at me.

"Mom?! I don't understand, I'm confused." What is this, what's going on? Who's coming for us? I know something is deeply wrong but I can't seem to put my finger on it and I'm really starting to freak out.

"Ella, sweetie, we dread this day since the moment you were brought to us." My mother sits on the edge of the bed and I notice for the first time how pale and scared she looks.

"Wait, brought? Mom, what are you saying..." I hold my mother's hands already dreading what's about to come out of her mouth. I realize now all the voices and frantic noises outside making my unease grow by the second.

Sean softly pulls my chin up forcing me to face him. "We don't have much time." With his hand still holding my chin he looks sadly into my eyes, only a few inches away from my face. "You are not who you think you are Ella, none of us is." My heart drops and the room starts spinning as I hear Sean's words. What? Shit, what is he talking about?

"...a mobster's heir, your…."

Huh?! I frown. "A what?! What the hell are you tal…." I mumble.

"Shhh Ella, please baby, you need to listen, beautiful girl, JUST listen. There's no time left for 20 questions now, we've runned out of all the time we had." Sean pleads.

I feel a deep lump in my throat and suddenly I'm unable to breathe.

"As crazy as this might sound to you right now, the truth is your grandfather is a mobster, a drug lord, a dangerous man with whom you will never want to come across..."

"Is this some kind of joke Sean? A prank? Mom, did he put you up to this?" I start laughing, relieved. "Not funny, you guys, you scared the living crap out of me, waking me up like this in the middle of the night."

"You never wondered why the hell you lived all your life, in such a secluded place, with this small group of people, you being the only kid around? Never came across as something odd to you?" Uneasiness creeps through me. Oh God, I feel sick, I think I'm gonna throw up.

"A little less than twenty years ago, one of your grandfather's sons met a beautiful portuguese woman in Italy, Bela and fell deeply in love." Confused, I look back at my mother and she nods, fidgeting with her hands. "They kept their love a secret but when Bela became pregnant, knowing that neither mother nor child would be spared if it came to the families knowledge, he arranged to get her back to Portugal, unnoticed, in the early stages of her pregnancy. Sadly, Bela died giving birth and the child was adopted by her sister and brother-in-law, Amelia and Antonio. Bela was your mother Ella." Sean searches my face for a reaction but I'm frozen in place, glaring at my 'mother' Amelia as my tears start to roll down. She's not my mother? I had another mother?

"A year after your mother's death, Antonio got a job in the community and after a probationary period he brought his wife and 'child' to live with him. This community is part of your grandfather's drug operation, a very important and strategic part of it actually, because Portugal is a gateway to smuggle drugs through Europe. It was your birth father's way to keep you protected, hidden in plain sight, because almost no one knows of your existence but he fears the day someone will." He shakes me softly, feeling my unease. I look around and when my eyes find my mother again, I notice for the first time a bag next to her. What's that for? Are we going somewhere?

Sean pulls my chin softly again, driving my eyes to his. "Your birth father never saw nor contacted you, to protect you from your grandfather but he made sure all along you would always have someone looking over you. Very few people in the world know your true identity and for your own protection you will never be told who your father really is because none of us will be able to save you if by some reason you get yourself near that family."

My dad Antonio bursts through the bedroom door and pulls me into his arms. "My baby girl." I can feel his tears in my face and I can't hold my sobs any longer.

Sean's phone rings making us all jump in place. He looks at the screen and clenches his jaw "Shit. Antonio it's time, they're closing in." I lift my eyes to my father, looking for a sign, something, anything but his glassy gaze is just filled with sadness and defeat. He takes a few steps away from me but I still can't move, I can't breathe, I'm lost for words, confused, conflicted.

Sean hands me a pair of jeans and his favorite Converse black hoodie. "Get dressed, fast." I look around to notice that we are already alone and my eyes land back in Sean's beautiful face. When I look into his eyes I understand the depth of the situation and as lost as I feel, I know there's nothing else to do now but to follow his instructions.

"Right, ok." As adrenaline kicks in I strip my shorts and tank top while from the corner of my eye I see Sean holding his breath as he scans my body and I feel sadness creeping again deep into my heart. Where the hell am I going? Is he coming with me?

Fully dressed, I pull my long black hair into a messy bun and slip my feet into my biker boots. "I think I'm ready." I say as I look around not really knowing what I'm looking for. Suddendly Sean closes the space between us and holds me in his arms, kissing the top of my head before brushing his lips in mine.

"I guess I'll never get the chance to truly show you how much you mean to me, my beautiful brave little crow." He kisses the freckles on the tip of my nose as he brushes my cheek with the back of his fingers. "I love your beautiful black hair, your deep as night dark eyes and your amazing exotic smell. We would have been so good together baby."

"Sean..." I whisper in tears, locking eyes with the beautiful man standing in front of me.

"Shh baby, it's ok. You'll be safe." He leans and kisses me softly. "Look at me Ella. I need you to listen carefully." He reaches the back of his jeans and hands me a gun. What?

"Sean?!" I murmur, confused.

"Ella, there's money in the bag, some clothes, a burner phone and new IDs. Keep the gun in the bag too, hopefully you won't need it but if you do, just remember everything I taught you when we were practicing all these years." I frown as I move a step back. "It was never random Ella, everything I taught you had a purpose."

My face falls as my heart starts to beat frantactly inside my chest. No, this is not right. Who is he? How much of my life, how much of me is a lie? Swallowing the question I really want answered I ask "Who's coming for us Sean, is it my father's family?"

"No, Ella. It's an Interpol special unit. They've been trying to bring down your grandfather's organization for years and somehow they were tipped to come here. We can't let anyone know you exist, who you really are and they will sure as hell find out, if they get to you. Take these car keys, Antonio brought it around just now." He holds me again and kisses my forehead.

"Are you coming with me?" I ask through my tears.

"No baby. I can't go, none of us can. Look at me Ella, you can't ever comeback here or try to reach us, do you understand? It will never be safe for you to be around us again. I know it's hard but it's the only way to keep you safe Ella. Answer me".

I can feel his fast heartbeat against my chest as I put my arms around his waist and rest my teary face in his chest. "I understand." My knees start to buckle.

He leads me outside the house and stops by the front door, where my parents are waiting for me. From the corner of my eye I notice a girl standing in the living room, black long hair, dark eyes, olive skin. She looks just like me. As confusion hits me I search for some kind of explanation in Sean's eyes.

"They most likely have intel about the community's residents. They won't be chasing you if you're not missing. At least it'll give you the head start you need to get away." He whispers.

I look into my parents watery eyes and I feel conflicted about what I should call them. Oh gosh. Uncle and aunt? This can't be happening, it's not real, I'm so confused.

Fuck it, what the hell am I thinking here? They raised me, it's the only family I ever knew, the only parents I've ever had.

Sean looks nervously around the mountain.

"Mom, dad, please, I don't want to go." I plead, trying desperately to think of another way out of this mess.

"You must honey, we can no longer keep you safe, you must go now." Pulling my right palm up my mom places a heart shaped locket and closes my fingers around it, resting my hand next to my heart.

"There will always be someone around you at all times my beautiful child. Losing my sister, your mother, broke my heart in ways I can't really describe but you brought me back to a joyful life and for that I'll always be grateful for the time we had together. I've always known we were living on borrowed time so I know I need to let you go now." She pulls me to her arms. "I need you to promise us that you'll protect your heart and your life, keeping your head low but never ever forgetting to be happy. Don't let this moment break you, don't let it define you as someone different than who you really are, you are your mother's daughter, the most beautiful and fearless soul who walked this earth and you're also our daughter, the one we will always love." She wipes the tears from my face. "Wear this locket if you need us, someone will come for you, I promise."

Both my parents hold me as they kiss my temples and then push me away softly.

Not wasting time Sean pushes me into the driver's seat and goes to place my bag in the passenger's seat before coming back around. Far in the distance, at the bottom of the mountain, we spot several tiny sparks of light. Headlights.

"Shit. This is it Ella, you need to go now. Focus on me now." He faces me. "Your final destination is Aveiro. It's a long drive, about 300 miles. Use only backroads until you get to Tomar, you know the way, I took you there several times. When you get there, you'll use the map that I stashed in the glove compartment. You'll find every indication you need in there. Use the backroad down the mountain and keep your lights out as much as possible. I taught you how to stealth drive, I know you can handle it. At the bottom take the quarry road, until you hit the main road. After that, just hit the gas Ella, don't look back. You know how to do this, I made sure of it all these years." His words came back to me 'it was never random'. He looks straight into my eyes, leans down and kisses me deeply. As he pulls back he whispers to my ear. "I'll find you, don't forget me baby, I'll find you no matter how long it takes".

I look once again to my devastated parents and back to Sean as tears start to roll down my face. Shit, I just want to wake up from this friggin nightmare. I look again down the mountain, no longer seeing the headlights from earlier. The hairs in the nape of my neck stand to attention, they're closing in. I sob as I turn on the LandRover.

I look straight ahead because I know if I get to look back at any of them I will never be able to leave and for the life of me, after everything I've just learned, I am really starting to believe they will be safer without me.

Without looking back I pull away feeling my heart breaking into pieces at every beat it takes. Unable to contain myself I glance at the rear view mirror and watch my all existence fade away in the distance.