Deal

Xanadu finally recognized the great god that I am. He looked at my glowing sword in reverence, but I also saw the envy in his eyes.

"See, Number Two! See how awesome I am?!"

"He's staring a bit too passionately at your sword. I'm getting a bit weirded out, Number One." Number Two said out of jealousy for not being a genius like me.

"Where? What genius? All I hear and see is an idiot and a sword freak."

"Ha! Number Two, you're so jealous of how awesome I am! I understand. Even Xanadu is jealous of my talent!"

"Talent? Yeah, sure. Talent at being a pervert! How the heck did thinking perverted thoughts allow you to gain enlightenment in the Sword Dao?!"

"Because I'm a genius, duh. You need to take some more cues from me, Number Two."

Xanadu interrupted my conversation with Number Two.

"Hunter, you should join our Sword Blossom Sect! I'll talk with my father. You joining us would be the best way to get back at your father and Gonk! Let's go and save the handsome bastard, and then you can rub your innate talent in Gonk's face!"

"Yes! Follow me! I'll lead the way!"

I ran down the pathway of stairs. That freakishly tall Xanadu merely seemed to be walking at a faster pace, but he was never left behind. I swear! Once I become an awesome cultivator, he will be the one panting trying to keep up.

"But that's not happening right now, Number One. You sound pretty haggard. Maybe you should stop and breathe?"

"What?! You calling me fat, Number Two?! Since you want to run so much, you lead Xanadu! I'm switching!"

***

"What the hell!"

Due to Number One's hasty lie and suddenly swapping me into control, I shouted out loud. Once again, that damn Number One blamed me and left me to deal with his laziness. Why couldn't just admit that he was tired? Now Xanadu was looking at me like I did something bad.

"Did you forget something, Hunter? What's wrong?" Xanadu asked, squinting his eyes.

I almost forgot I was now 'Hunter.' I felt my palms getting clammy again.

"Oh! Oh yea! I forgot about the rent that's going to be due soon is all. My stingy landlord throws a hissy-fit if I forget."

"Leave that place! You'll be coming to the Sword Blossom Sect soon. By the way, where did you place those Soul Crystals? You should show me them first so I can keep them safe."

I was a bit thrown off by the sudden change in subject. There was a serious undertone, slyly hidden behind his words. This sword freak was not to be underestimated. I knew those Souk Crystals were going to be trouble. I wanted to dump it on Number One, seeing how he started it.

"I didn't start it, Number Two! It was Gonk! He wanted to gift me the jewels on his palanquin! He also gifted us those Soul Crystals! If Xanadu wants what is ours now, he should pay us!"

Number One kept me astonished every time. He always put the fault on something or someone else. He turned the truth inside out. That was his true talent.

"It's not my fault if they want to gift me their stuff, Number Two!"

Seeing how Number One just threw me into the mess again, I decided to do what I wanted. I delayed bringing Xanadu to the Soul Crystals in order to give me an edge. I wasn't sure what Xanadu would do once he got hold of the Soul Crystals. I decided to follow Number One's story and responded to his question.

"Gonk requested for me to only hand them over to our father or to himself. I can only obey Gonk's last request. Once we find him, you two can decide what to do with the Soul Crystals."

It was subtle, but I caught the frown on his forehead. The Soul Crystals were most likely Xanadu's true objective.

I gulped. I wasn't sure if he would try to torture out that information from me. Dammit, Number One! This is why those Soul Crystals are dangerous! I cursed at Number One, "if I die from this you better stay away from me in the next life!" Number One's couldn't retort as Xanadu quickly replied.

"Well, I suppose that is fine. The Emerald Dragon Sect was supposed to trade them with us. Eventually they'll be given to us anyway. Are you sure they're safe?"

"Yes, they should be," I replied. I breathed out a breath of relief in my head. Hopefully, Xanadu was telling the truth and he wouldn't kill me for those Soul Crystals.

"Of course he wouldn't, Number Two! Didn't you see that I'm a genius that only comes once in a million years! Xanadu would never kill such a talent!"

I didn't know where to start bickering with Number One. He was too much. I focused on Xanadu instead.

"Let's go save Gonk first."

I was still wary of Xanadu, but the only thing I could do was try to run away into the Carnigan Forest again. With no other choice, I led Xanadu and backtracked to where Number One and I last saw Gonk.

I followed the path back to the area of the Soul Crystals. It was easy, seeing how Gonk's fan club left a distinct trail on the once densely covered ground. I noticed Xanadu eyeing the surroundings, possibly looking for the Soul Crystals. But I knew he wouldn't be able to find them unless I showed him the spot. Even the Fox women were unable to see the Soul Crystals in the white satchel when it was simply laying out in the open.

I finally made it to the edge of the clearing, leading to the area blocked off by the steep walls of the cliff. I pointed and showed the area where Gonk tried to beat me up. I still can't believe that guy wouldn't take a mouth-watering skewer for an answer! Number One had to chip in, like usual.

"… only you'd think those cubes of rubber were tasty, Number Two. I don't know how we experienced two different tastes from the same mouth…"

"You, Number One, can only taste money. Everything else tastes poor."

"Well! For once I agree, Number Two. I only have expensive tastes." I rolled my eyes at Number One's comment. We couldn't afford anything expensive at all. Number One only stole expensive stuff.

I ignored Number One as Xanadu was looking out at the area near the cliff. I twisted a few facts.

"Call me master, Number Two! You're learning from the best!"

I shushed Number One and continued explaining to Xanadu. "This is where Gonk and I were ambushed by Sister Ivy and Sister Scarlett. We were no match for them."

"Yes, I can see that. Seems like a battle was fought, but probably just Gonk being toyed with. Why did Gonk bring you out here?"

For once I was glad Number One had already made up a story. I was terrible at making up believable lies on the spot, unlike someone. I heard Number One's complaints, but I focused on making sure Xanadu believed me and didn't kill me.

"I didn't tell you the whole story before. I was chased by Gonk to this place. He was trying to kill me because my existence posed a threat to his position. I made a vow to the Heavens to never claim or even desire Gonk's position as the next sect master of the Emerald Dragon Sect. With my oath, I was spared. But the evil Fox women ambushed us. Brother Gonk bought me time to run away. The Fox women desired his handsome face, and instead of killing him took him away as a prisoner."

I was shocked by the sudden laugh coming from Xanadu. It became eerie and strung out. Had he found out about Number One's lies?! Was he going to kill me? Xanadu stopped laughing and started shouting.

"That Gonk! I knew he was rotten at the core! But that damn exterior of his is too handsome! Even the Sentient Beasts spared him! How envious! The Heavens are unjust! I heard stories from fellow cultivators at the wine bars about those Fox women! They used to be the most desired slaves! You saw them, right?!"

I sighed in relief. Xanadu didn't catch on to my lies.

Recalling the voluptuous and seductive Sister Scarlett, I gulped down the tantalizing memory. Suddenly I shuddered, recalling Sister Ivy. Xanadu misunderstood my mixed reaction for admiration.

"They were that beautiful!? So beautiful you're drooling and shaking?! Heavens! That lucky bastard! Why does he get all the luck with women!"

Coming back to my senses, I realized I was drooling. I wiped away my drool and asked, "did you want to take his spot?"

"Ha! I like your train of thought, Hunter! If I was as handsome then of course, yes! Two Fox women! How could anyone refuse two beauties?! But I'm not handsome, I would likely be killed."

Number One shouted in my head. "That dumb Gonk did! He refused the beauty! But not me! Me! Why couldn't they have chosen me too?! Why couldn't I have been Gonk's split personality instead of yours?!"

Number One irked me. I wanted to burst their bubbles, but I didn't. Sister Ivy can give them a surprise. I didn't say anything else about the Fox ladies' appearances.

"Xanadu, the Fox ladies came from that area. They said they were taking Gonk to their cave." I pointed to the trees broken down from the swinging tails of the Fox ladies.

"I'll take the lead from here, follow me." Xanadu walked towards the broken trees, and I followed quietly behind him. He was pretty nimble for a big guy that he was. He moved without a sound, diving into the brush and hiding behind the trees. I did my best to imitate and follow after Xanadu.

We must have been lost at one point. I noticed the same mark on a tree Xanadu left, but the bellowing of dreadful wails brought us to our target.

"NO!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! STOP!!! NO!!!"

Number One spoke in my mind. "Number Two. Is there something wrong with you?! How are those, 'dreadful wails'?! There's no dread at all! That the sound of indecency! That Gonk! He's just like Xanadu said! His righteous shell hides his inner pervert!"

Number One's comment made me question my ears, but I'm pretty sure Gonk was yelling out of dread and not indecency. However, it would seem Xanadu begged to differ.

"Bastard! Enjoying those two foxy ladies! Inexcusable!" He ran off towards Gonk's shouts. I was about to sigh from being surrounded by the depraved morons, but I didn't. More like I couldn't.

Xanadu turned around and lunged at me.

"Ahhhh! Do something, Number Two! I'm too pretty to die!" Number One shrieked like a girl, but it was too late. I closed my eyes, preparing to be killed. But the impact didn't happen. No cutting or stabbing. No punching.

I was yanked and pulled behind the dense vegetation near the trees. My mouth was covered and I mumbled a muffled, "wha'f argh youf doung!"

Xanadu shushed me. Something had him spooked. His presence seemed to completely disappear, but I felt his body trembling.

That's when I felt it. The familiar shaking of the earth, and the rattling of the large branches in the trees. I heard the seductive and chiming laughs of Sister Ivy and Sister Scarlett. The forest appeared to be on fire from the excitedly swaying tails of the fox ladies. Their tails reminded me of a happy dog for some reason.

"Sister Scarlett! What a find! It's been so long since I felt like a woman! He truly is a Son of Heaven! How many times did he make me see the Heavens?! I've never been so satisfied!" I then understood why their tails reminded me of happy dogs. I could not un-hear what I just heard.

"He's pretty good for a human man. We need to care for him properly so he can continue to help us dual cultivate. I was so close to breaking through, but…" Sister Scarlet blushed.

Xanadu was shaking, but I wasn't sure if it was from fear or anger. Maybe both? He whispered a strange response.

"I'm going to smack Gonk. Lucky bastard. Then I'll console him. What an unfortunate man."

I tried to ask if he wanted to switch places, but his hand muffled my quiet question.

The two Fox ladies chuckled and squealed, continuing to make comments I wished I never heard about Gonk and his body parts. The lucky bastard or unlucky bastard. I was torn and couldn't decide. But for sure, meeting Number One brought upon his misfortune.

"It wasn't my fault! He's a lucky bastard. The Heavens finally were balancing out his luck with some misfortune. He can blame the Heavens." There goes Number One in my head again, blaming someone else.

Finally after the two Fox ladies left, Xanadu uncovered my mouth and told me his plan.

"The barrier's much too powerful for a cultivator of my level to break through. I won't be able to save him, but you can! Those haughty Sentient Beasts! They never thought a non-cultivator would venture this far into their territory. They overlooked that and set a barrier only to block out cultivators! You can enter and remove their formation flag! I can enter at that point! Go! Go and save your brother!"

Brother? Gonk was only Number One's brother, not mine. I don't claim Gonk as my brother! I wanted to complain about the hypocrisy, but that would put me in an uncomfortable situation. Probably killed.

So I refrained and faked a smile. I tapped my fist against my chest and whispered, "you can count on me!" With that I scurried to the entrance of the cave. Number One had to put in his two cents.

"What are you some sort of rat in the military? What's with that salute? And scurrying? As a god, I am disgusted. You need to take better notes, Number Two. We don't scurry."

I wanted to say something, but an odd stench came out from the cave. Number One was having a field day with Gonk and his situation.

"What the heck?! That Gonk! We weren't even separated that long! How could it smell like this! Ew!"

Seriously. The stench was strong. He was a blessed Son of Heaven.

There was a light barrier blocking the exit. I poked it with my finger to test for any traps, but my hand slipped through with no resistance. I entered the dimly lit cavern. It was rather cozy, if not for the torture chamber in the back. Sister Ivy had some peculiar tastes.

There he was in the center of the torture chamber. Sprawled on a soft heart shaped bed, Gonk's body was bound with rope. I wished I could forget this whole day. I saw too much. Seemed like Sister Ivy had a thing for rope bondage.

I walked around the odd tools and trinkets on the floor to Gonk. Seeing me, he became bright red with embarrassment, but his death glare still made him look handsome. Lucky bastard.

I was annoyed at the defiant look on his face. Did he not know I was here to save his practically naked ass? I no longer cared. Gonk's fate was in my hands.

"You should have taken the skewer, brother. It's too late now. If you want me to save you then let's make a deal."