Mending

Amber POV

I was so mad at Damien. I knew that he was right, and that he only meant to help me, but it didn't make it any less aggravating.

I know that I shouldn't keep harboring this anger for my father, but it was deep inside of me. He was my FATHER and nothing should have stopped him from trying to have me with him.

I know it isn't fair to be harder on him than everyone else, but him being my father comes with having higher expectations from him. When you are a parent your children are supposed to come first. They are a part of you – your future. I just so happened to be blessed with two parents who apparently didn't think that way. I always longed to have parents that loved me more than anything in the world, and would do anything for me. The truth was, I honestly thought my father WAS one of those parents until I came here and saw him unexpectedly. I felt my heart breaking all over again in that moment. Feelings of shock, confusion, sadness and hurt all flooded into me, quickly consumed by anger.

Now I am standing outside his office door, trying to work up the courage to enter. Why does this have to be so nerve wracking? It would probably be easier had I let Damien come with me, but I wanted to do this on my own. No I needed to do this on my own. Taking in a deep breath and closing my eyes, I swallowed down my nervousness and knocked twice on the door in front of me. Silence is all I heard. Just as I was about to turn around and walk away the door swung open and I met two hazel eyes that matched my own.

My father's hazel eyes were filled with unshed tears as he looked at me. "Amber." He meekly stated. I looked up at him, fully ready to start berating him, but in that moment my anger washed away. I could feel the sadness and hurt radiating off of him. He looked so broken.

"Dad." I whispered, as I felt tears come. He took a step back to let me walk in the room, but instead of walking past him I walked to him and gave him a hug. I felt him tense in shock for only a second before he wrapped his strong arms around me in a tight hug. His shoulders began shaking as I heard him start to sob. "Oh Amber…I am so so sorry!" he sobbed. "You didn't deserve any of this! I missed you so much and I failed you…" he continued to hold me and cry as I stood there in his embrace and cried along with him.

I cried harder hearing his sobs. This man was so broken. He wasn't the hardass that I've seen for the past few days. This was a father that lost his daughter – my father. I couldn't find it in me to hold onto that anger anymore. The pain, the hurt, the sadness washed over me. All the feelings I was trying so hard not to feel. "Daddy…I missed you…" I cried. I could feel his shirt soaking wet from my tears that were being shed. "I thought…. I thought…you were dead." I sobbed.

He pulled back and looked at me, puzzlement spread across his face. "Why would you think I was dead?" he questioned. Truly looking so confused. I took a step away from him and looked down at my feet.

Mustering up some strength, I look him in his eyes again and muttered, "Because you never came back for me. No matter how many times my mother told me you were probably dead, I didn't want to believe it. But the longer it took for you to come back; it was the only thing that made sense to me. Because if you were still alive and you didn't come back for me it would hurt so much more than if you were dead and you COULDN'T come back for me."

His sharp intake of breath was the only sound in the room before he grabbed my hand and led me to on of the chairs. I sat down with my hands crossed in my lap and my eyes trained on my hands. I started to pick my nails, a bad habit I had of doing when I was nervous.

My father's hands covered my hands halting my movements. "Don't do that sweet Rose. Look at me." He demanded. My eyes made their way to his, still filled with tears. "My sweet sweet Rose, beautiful Rose, I never WANTED to leave you. Please believe me on that. You were my whole world from the first moment you were conceived. Since that day and until the end of time, you are my WHOLE WORLD. There were so many times I wanted to give in, so many times I found myself standing outside that house. But if your mother outed me to the whole world, that would only put you in danger too. I needed you to be safe, and at the time I thought safe was far away from me. It kills me every day to know that you had to go through everything you went through. I swear Amber, I never knew it was as bad as it was." He had tears streaming down his face.

I lifted my hand and wiped away some of his tears. "Dad, I believe you. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but I forgive you. Please be patient with me. We will work on our relationship, you are my father and I love you. I wanted you back in my life for so long, I am so sorry how I have been acting." I threw my hands around him again for a hug and was quickly wrapped in his protective embrace once again.

"Amber Rose, I will be as patient as you need. But just know I will never go anywhere ever again. I couldn't take losing you again. It would kill me. This past decade without you has been hell." He spoke with such intensity I knew he meant every word.

"You won't lose me dad. But you have a lot to teach me. To teach Damien and I both." I told him.

"I will! And this Damien, does he treat you right?" he questioned.

I laughed at his question. "Yes, Dad he treats me very well. There were a few issues in the beginning, but I am closer to him than I ever imagined being with anyone. He is very protective, and sometimes very possessive, but I love him more than anything." I smiled as I spoke about my handsome mate.

My father smiled. "Good. If he makes you happy then that is all that matters. I will tolerate him for you."

"Dad," I groaned, "you can't just tolerate him. He is so much more than that. I need you to like him, to care about him – he is my other half."

He stared at me for a moment before nodding his head. "You are right little Rose, I will try to get to know him. I'm sure I will like him, we just didn't get off to the best start."

I smirked at him and pointed my finger at him. "But you know…" I drew out. "He is the reason why I am here in the first place. He forced me to come and talk to you, even told me we would have no "quality" time until I worked things out with you." I air quoted quality and laughed at my dad's confused and then slightly uneasy face, as he finally understood what I meant.

"Well although that was a little too much information for me, I will have to thank him when I see him again. Maybe he isn't so bad after all…" he looked up at the clock, "actually you should probably go let him know dinner will be ready in thirty minutes."

"Okay Dad," I threw my hands around him for one last hug. "I will see you at dinner." He nodded and I made my way out of the office to go find Damien.