Chapter 33

Aggie opened her eyes to Eric's inquisitive gaze. "Are you awake?"

She started and covered her eyes with a pillow. "Jeez, how can I sleep with you staring at me like that?"

"You didn't have a problem for the past hour."

"You've been watching me sleep for an hour?"

"Uh huh."

"Eric, you have a problem."

"I am well aware of that. I'm ready."

"For what?"

"To watch."

"This kind of takes the spontaneity and romance out of the act, you know?"

Eric leaned back and sat on the floor with his back against the wall. "Just pretend I'm not here."

"Yeah, like that's possible."

Jace spooned up against her back. "It's early," he murmured.

She turned her head to look at him. His lips curled into a gentle smile, but he kept his eyes closed.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" she asked.

"Yes. You know I'm not a morning person."

His hands moved to cup her breasts. Apparently, he wasn't aware of Eric's presence. She wasn't sure why the thought of Eric watching had her hot and bothered. She'd had some wild times in sex parlors in her youth, but she hadn't done it in front of an audience for years. She'd gotten a certain level of excitement back in the day, knowing other people could see her performing sexual acts and having acts performed on her. Those had been strangers though. This was different. She'd have to look Eric in the eye after this was over.

"You don't mind him watching?" Jace asked.

"You knew he was there?"

"I'm not that groggy in the morning." His grin widened, and his hand slipped down her belly.

"I think it will be sexy. I want him to watch."

"Me too," he murmured.

She rolled over in his arms and brushed her fingers through his hair. He hadn't been putting gel in it recently, and she loved its silky texture beneath her palms and between her thighs.

She kissed him and directed his hand between her legs. "I never got to come last night," she whispered. "I want your mouth right here." She squeezed his hand against her mound.

"I think I can handle that."

He slipped her panties from her body. He surprised her by rolling onto his back. When she crinkled her brow at him in confusion, he grinned and said, "Come up here, baby. Sit on my face."

She climbed from the covers and moved up his body to straddle his face. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and lifted his head to suckle her clit.

"Wow," she gasped.

He suckled every bit of slick flesh between her thighs and then plunged his tongue inside her. She shuddered. "Jace."

His rough beard stubble scraped against her sensitive flesh as he made out with her pussy. Kissing, sucking, and licking her until she couldn't take any more. She shifted backward with the intention of sliding down his body. He wrapped both arms around her thighs and wouldn't let her move. After a long moment, Jace turned his head, gasping for air. Aggie sat back on his chest to let him catch his breath.

"Eric, can you see?" Jace asked.

"Not really."

"Come on up here with us."

Eric launched himself onto the bed.

"Do you want him to participate?" Jace nodded in Eric's direction.

"What do you mean?" Aggie asked.

"Can he touch you?"

Aggie's eyes widened in surprise. "I thought he was just going to watch."

"Here's the thing with Eric. He starts out watching, but sometimes he gets carried away. If you don't want him to touch you, I won't let him, but if you don't mind, he can help me bring you pleasure."

She laughed. "I can't handle how much pleasure you give me on your own. How do you think I'll handle even more?"

Jace slipped her tank top over her head. Eric half growled, half moaned as her breasts were revealed.

"I think you can handle it," Jace murmured, his fingers brushing over one taut nipple.

She glanced at Eric. She didn't have a problem with him participating. She found it a little disheartening that Jace had no qualms about another man putting his hands on her. Or seeing her naked. Yes, she went topless onstage, but this was different. This was far more personal. Or maybe it wasn't. It didn't have to be.

"He can touch me. Lick me. Suck me. Fuck me. Whatever."

"Yes," Eric said, making a victory fist.

"No," Jace said. "He's not going to fuck you. Only I fuck you."

Aggie smiled to herself. Okay, that made her feel better. She wasn't sure why. It wasn't much of a boundary, but it was something.

"But I can come on her, right?" Eric asked.

Jace shrugged. "That's up to her."

"We'll see."

Jace eased her off his chest to sit in the center of the bed and moved to kneel beside her. He brushed her hair aside and planted a gentle kiss on her shoulder. "Isn't she beautiful?" he asked Eric.

"Yeah. Gorgeous," Eric agreed. He extended a hand toward her breast, but hesitated with millimeters between their skin. Her nipple hardened, straining toward his fingertips. He took a deep, shaky breath and lowered his hand to rest in a tight fist on his thigh.

Jace grinned crookedly. He was in a strange mood this morning. Calmer than usual. Kind of cocky. She decided it was because Eric was there, and he knew he was the top man on the totem pole.

Jace took Aggie's chin and turned her head in his direction. He kissed her tenderly and stroked her hair from her face. He whispered into her ear so Eric couldn't hear. "This is just sex, Aggie, okay? Don't attach yourself to it emotionally."

She nodded, understanding what he meant. This would lack their usual emotional connection. Fine with her, as long as she got to see inside his heart when they were alone together. "I know the difference. I'd have said 'no' if I had issues with this. Don't worry about my feelings."

He kissed her deeply and then pulled away. When he looked at her, she got the feeling he wasn't seeing her as Aggie, but a stranger to experiment with. She'd try to forget her feelings for him this morning, but she knew it wouldn't be easy. She loved him. She didn't think he had the same feelings for her, but hopefully, someday he would.

On his knees, Jace moved in front of her body and lowered his head to rub the flat of his tongue over her nipple. Eric, still fully clothed, spooned up against her back, his lips against her shoulder as he watched Jace tug her nipple into his mouth.

She shuddered. Eric lightly stroked the bare skin of her upper arms with his fingertips, drawing goose bumps to the surface of her skin. She leaned back against his solid chest, concentrating on not lifting her hands and clinging to Jace's hair as he suckled. She wanted to practice self-control for as long as possible. A test of her willpower. The tugging feeling at her breast spread down her belly and between her thighs, tightening her womb with gentle spasms, making her lips swell and grow wet with desire. When Jace moved his mouth to her other breast, Eric kissed a trail along the top of her back and settled against her other shoulder so he could watch Jace drive her mad with need.

Aggie clenched her hands into fists, letting Jace have his way with her, when every instinct urged her to hold on to him.

Jace's hands slid over the skin of her lower back. Eric's moved to circle her waist. They held her in a double embrace. Her heart thudded in anticipation.

"Shift her onto her back," Jace instructed.

Eric moved from behind her and eased her down on her back. Jace pulled her legs out straight and returned to suckling her left nipple. Aggie gasped brokenly when Eric shifted to lie against her right side and sucked her other nipple into his mouth. She lifted her arms above her head and glanced down at the two of them. Their techniques were totally different. Jace sucked and stroked with his tongue. Eric nibbled and soothed with his lips. She closed her eyes, her head tilting back in ecstasy. Jace slid a hand down her side and belly. She spread her legs, wanting him to put her out of her aching misery. Eric's hand mirrored Jace's movements a few seconds after.

Aggie moaned when their fingers moved between her thighs in unison. They stroked her flesh until she couldn't take it anymore. A pair of fingers slid inside her. She'd lost track of who belonged to which hand, which mouth sucked her left nipple, flicked her right. Another pair of fingers slid into her pussy. They spread her wide, plunging into her and withdrawing, as they worked against each other.

"Oh, that feels good."

A third hand stroked at her clit.

Eric released her breast from his mouth and slid down to watch the action between her thighs.

"Make her come, Jace. She's close. Look how swollen she is."

"Don't talk, Sticks."

"Sorry."

She felt Eric's warm breath against her mound and then his tongue flicked over her clit, joining the fingers still stroking it. She'd never felt anything like it—fingers and lips and tongues. Here. There. She rocked her hips impatiently, mewing in the back of her throat.

Her pleasure built quickly and within seconds she was shuddering with release. Eric rested his head on her lower belly, his fingers still inside her. Jace released her nipple from his mouth, removed his hands from her body, and slid off the end of the bed.

Eric's fingers slid free a moment later, leaving her completely empty.

"Are you going to fuck her now?" Eric asked excitedly.

"Not yet."

Jace grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to the end of the bed. He knelt on the floor and plunged his tongue into her body. Her back arched, and she shuddered. She opened her eyes when she heard a zipper release. Eric was on his hands and knees, peering between her legs upside down, watching Jace eat her out. Eric grabbed his long, hard cock in one hand, stroking himself with Jace's rhythm.

"Does she taste good, Jace?"

"Mmm," he murmured in agreement.

Aggie couldn't take her eyes off Eric's hand as he stroked himself slowly. She shuddered when Jace sucked her clit into his mouth. He plunged his fingers in and out of her, bringing her to orgasm so quickly she lifted off the mattress. "Jace!"

He didn't give her time to recover—kept sucking and plunging into her.

"Yeah," Eric whispered, still watching and stroking his cock. Aggie extended one hand in Eric's direction and ran her fingers over his scrotum.

His mouth fell open, and his eyes drifted closed.

"Jace. Look at him. He's about to come all over himself. Put your cock inside me," Aggie said, watching Eric's reaction as she barely touched him. If watching Jace eat her out excited Eric that much, she could only imagine how excited he'd be when Jace's massive cock stretched her to her limits.

Jace stood and spread her legs wider. He grabbed his cock and pressed it into her, sliding in and out to wet himself with her juices.

"Oh God, that's hot," Eric gasped. He shifted further down the mattress to improve his vantage.

Jace held onto Aggie's hips as he buried himself inside her.

"Jace," she gasped. Goose bumps rose to the surface of her flesh. Could Eric tell how perfectly they fit together? She wanted him to recognize it.

"You feel amazing," he whispered.

He withdrew. His eyes were on the connection between their bodies. When scarcely an inch of him remained inside her, he lunged forward. She cried out as their bodies collided. He picked up his tempo, quickly finding their familiar rhythm. Aggie watched Eric stroke his cock with the same tempo.

"God, I'm about to come already," Eric gasped. "This rhythm is insane."

"Perfect," Aggie said. "He's perfect. His rhythm… perfect."

"Yeah, if your goal is to come. Jesus, dude. I can hear how wet that makes her. What does it feel like?"

"Silky," Jace murmured. "Slick. Hot."

Eric whimpered.

"Tight. Soft."

Eric loosened his hold on his cock, skimming its surface more gently as he continued to stroke himself in time with Jace's deep thrusts. "Aggie, what does it feel like to have Jace inside you?"

"Full. Hard. Warm. Thick. Hard. Full. Full. Oh, God."

Jace continued the same relentless tempo for a long while. Aggie lifted her head to look at Jace and found him watching her. He smiled gently, and her heart melted. It seemed strange that by allowing Eric to join them, the bond between them was strengthened. It was as if having a witness and sharing this made it more profound, not less. She hadn't expected that when she'd agreed to this arrangement. She'd expected Eric's presence to cheapen the experience.

Eric cried out, drawing Aggie's attention. He spurted cum over her lower belly, trembling uncontrollably as he let go. "Damn," he gasped.

"Done already?" Jace murmured, still maintaining the rhythm that held Aggie suspended on the brink of orgasm.

"Already? How long do you plan on continuing?"

"Oh, an hour, though without a condom I might not last that long. Aggie's body is heaven."

"I bet."

Eric lowered his head and sucked Aggie's clit into his mouth. Her back arched as ripples of pleasure radiated out from her core, clenching hard on Jace's cock. She screamed with unexpected release.

"Oh God, don't stop. Don't stop," she pleaded. They didn't stop. Jace pounded against her, filling her as only he could, and Eric sucked her long after her first orgasm subsided.

"I'm gonna come again," she cried. "Oh. Oh."

Eric squeezed her breast, pinching her nipple as she came a second time.

The pleasure was so intense that she was in tears.

Jace pulled out.

"Please don't stop," she gasped.

"Eric," Jace said to get his attention.

Eric stopped sucking on Aggie's clit, and she groaned with torment.

"My turn?" he asked.

"No, I'm changing position."

Eric moved away while Jace eased Aggie onto her hands and knees.

"Oh hell, yeah," Eric said.

Jace climbed onto the mattress, knelt behind her, and spread her knees apart.

"Wait," Eric said. "Don't put it in yet."

Jace chuckled. He seemed to be enjoying this. Another thing Aggie hadn't expected.

Eric slid on his back beneath Aggie until his head was between her knees, and he was looking up where the action was about to take place. His hips were between her hands on the mattress, and when she looked down, his cock was in her field of view.

"Okay, ready when you are," Eric said.

Aggie laughed. She felt the head of Jace's cock touch the rim of her pussy, and her laugh became a groan of torment.

"Slow," Eric coaxed. "Slide it in real slow."

Jace slid it in real slow. Aggie watched Eric's cock jerk excitedly in response.

"God, look at it stretch and swallow you. And she smells so good."

Eric lifted his hands to rub his fingers up and down her belly. Aggie shuddered.

"Deep, Jace. Take her deep."

Jace was already fully inserted, but he ground against her to drive himself deeper.

"Give her pleasure, Eric, or you're leaving," Jace said.

Eric's fingers found her nipples and stroked them persistently.

"Does that feel good, Aggie?" Jace asked.

"Y-yes," she gasped, grinding her hips to stimulate herself on Jace's cock. She pulled forward and then rocked back to bury him deep again.

"I think she wants you to fuck her, Jace."

"Yes." She groaned. "I want it."

Eric's cock lengthened and thickened as Jace began to move. Jace's finger slid into her ass, and her legs buckled. "Yeah, Jace, that's good. Tease my ass. Eric, rub my clit. Rub it."

Eric rubbed her clit with one hand, and his other went to his hard-on. She loved watching Eric stroke himself while Jace filled her and dipped his fingertips into her ass. A single bead of precum glistened at the head of Eric's dick. Unable to resist his offering, she lowered her head and licked it. Salty. Sweet.

"Oh sweet heaven," Eric gasped.

Encouraged, she sucked the head of his cock into her mouth. His entire body convulsed. Jace picked up his tempo, his thrusts deep and steady. He buried two fingers in her ass and curled them down to stimulate the head of his cock as he thrust into her. Aggie cried out, gasping brokenly on the wet head of Eric's cock. Eric stroked her clit faster—himself twice as fast. Jace vocalized his pleasure louder with each thrust.

"Make her come, Eric. Make her come."

Eric wasn't making her come, Jace was. His thickness. Filling her. Rubbing her. His fingers filling her further.

While her body convulsed with release, Jace slowly slid his fingers from her ass.

She lost track of the number of times she came. She sucked Eric's cock when she thought of it, but most of the time she was too delirious to pay any attention to what he was doing beneath her. Jace's tempo increased, his breath hitching in the back of his throat. He pulled out at the last moment and came on Aggie's back with a startled, sputtering cry of release.

"Did I just miss the money shot?" Eric asked. "Ah, fuck."

Jace collapsed onto the bed beside her, still breathing hard. "Let me catch my breath, and we'll start over. I'll do better next time. I didn't mean to come that fast."

"Better? That was amazing," Aggie said, still trembling in the aftermath of multiple orgasms. "Amazing."

Jace lay beside her, unmoving, his eyes closed.

"Okay, okay." Eric shuddered, spurting all over his belly. He groaned as he pumped his fluids out with a tight fist. "God, I needed that."

When Eric went still, breaths still coming in trembling gasps, Jace forced his eyes open. He smiled gently at Aggie and tried to get up. He managed to lift himself on one arm before crumpling to the bed.

"What's wrong?" Aggie asked.

"I think I need some breakfast."

He'd overdone it again. "No more sex until you're fully healed," Aggie insisted.

"I'll be okay. I'm just hungry."

"I'll go make some scrambled eggs," Eric said. He wiped the cum off his belly and stuffed his softening cock into his blue boxer briefs before heading for the door in his underwear. Eric should always walk around in his underwear. Dear lord, that long, lean body was some serious eye candy.

"Wait!" Jace called desperately.

Eric paused at the door and looked over his shoulder in question. "What?"

"Don't get creative with the spices this time—salt and pepper only."

"What's the fun in that?" Eric grinned and left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"Aggie, you have to stop him," Jace whispered as if Eric were on a murder mission. "Last time he mixed cayenne, cinnamon, garlic, and basil."

Aggie's nose wrinkled. "In eggs?"

"And I'm starving. I need to eat."

Aggie kissed his lips and rose from the bed. "I've got you, baby. You rest." She reached for her clothes.

While Eric pretended to be the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show, Aggie monitored his progress and cooked the bacon. Whenever he reached for a spice to sprinkle in the huge pan of eggs, Aggie smacked it out of his hand. Eric cooked like he did everything else: to the beat of a different drummer with all the heart and enthusiasm he could muster. And while she expected things to be weird between them now (she'd just washed his cum off her belly, after all), he didn't act differently around her at all. If anything, he seemed more relaxed and friendlier than before.

Aggie spread strips of bacon over a paper towel to collect the grease and dumped frozen hash browns into the bacon pan. She put a lid on the top to stop the grease from spattering.

"Why don't you make some toast? The bread's in that cabinet there." He pointed with his spatula.

While she was occupied with opening the bread wrapper, Eric reached for the allspice.

"No," she said, grabbing the bottle from his hand.

"It's called all spice," he said. "Doesn't that mean it should be used to spice all?"

"Eric, add that crap to your own eggs after everyone gets their safe serving."

"Safe? Boring, you mean."

"Eggs are supposed to be boring."

Jace opened the bedroom door and hobbled to the table. Wearing nothing but jeans and his sling (which he'd been using less, so its appearance must mean his shoulder was bothering him), he slid into the booth. Resting his left elbow on the table, he propped his forehead up with his hand.

"You wore his ass out, Aggie. Look at him."

Oh, she was looking at him, all right.

"Shut up, Sticks," Jace murmured.

The toast popped, and Aggie buttered a slice. She handed it to Jace. "Eat this while you wait for your eggs."

Jace lifted his head from his hand, patted her butt affectionately, and accepted the piece. "Thanks."

"I smell food," Brian said, leaning out of his bunk. "Smells good. Who's cooking?" He blinked his eyes in the light of the cabin until they focused on Eric at the stove. "Sticks? Never mind. I'll starve." He closed his curtain again.

"Good," Jace called, his mouth full of toast. "Leaves more for me."

"Aggie's got him under control," Trey said, hopping out of his bunk and stealing bacon from the counter.

Trey sat across from Jace and handed him a piece of his bacon. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah."

Sed climbed out of his bunk and slid next to Trey, his big body taking up more than its share of the booth. "I'm in," he said. When he tried to help himself to Trey's bacon, he got his hand slapped.

Brian hopped down from his bunk. "I guess if the rest of you die of food poisoning, there's no reason for me to go on alone."

"Think of Myrna," Trey said.

"I'm mostly thinking of my stomach." Brian scooted in next to Jace. "Man, you sure you should be out of the hospital? You look like death warmed over."

Now Aggie felt guilty. She exchanged glances with Eric. "We should have let him sleep in this morning," she whispered as she turned the hash browns.

"He usually doesn't get out of bed until noon. He always looks like shit in the morning."

Aggie went to the refrigerator and shoved the beer aside until she found a bottle of orange juice. She unscrewed the top and set it in front of Jace. "Here, baby, drink this."

He blushed at her sentiment, and it did not go unnoticed by the other guys. "Yeah, baby, dwink your juice all up," Trey said. "Be a good widdle man."

Brian pinched Jace's cheek. "Such a cute widdle baby, isn't he? He needs to dwink his juice from his sippy cup."

Scowling, Jace slapped Brian's hand away.

Aggie grinned. The guys loved him. That's why they teased him relentlessly. He was like their adored little brother. Why couldn't Jace see that? Maybe Aggie needed to help him see what was already there.

Jace stood behind the stage watching the roadies set up for the concert in Edmonton. He could hang out here until they were done. Then he'd have to leave because Jon would start rehearsing with the band for their show. He couldn't force himself to watch that.

The next night there'd be a symphony playing in this venue, and the orchestra's instruments had already been delivered. They were lined up along the back wall behind the stage area which made it challenging for the roadies to maneuver their stage sections into place. Feeling woozy from looking at the rigging, Jace meandered to the bench in front of the symphony's grand piano. He sat heavily and took a deep breath. Maybe he should check himself into a hospital. He couldn't regain his strength. That probably had to do with keeping Aggie satisfied. It was impossible to keep his hands off her. He didn't bother trying.

Jace leaned against the keyboard of the piano, and it pinged discordantly. Someone had forgotten to cover the keys. He turned on the bench, tossed back the heavy canvas covering the instrument, and reached for the little knob connected to the wooden lid. His wrist hit the keys. He paused, instantly transported back in time. He could almost feel his mother sitting beside him, her arm pressed against his shoulder, her leg against his. During those times, he pretended she cared about him.

Jace shrugged his sling aside and allowed his fingers to settle on the keys, his feet on the pedals. He definitely felt Mother as his fingers found a familiar melody. He could hear her, speaking in that barely perceptible whisper of hers. Don't play the music, Jason. Let the music play you. Give yourself over to it. Let it inside. It's alive. Do you feel it?

Music was alive. He did feel it. He always had. It was more real than his own existence.

Jace let the melody take him, giving his fingers free rein. The keys beside him, where his mother's fingers should have rested, remained still, but he heard her playing with him as surely as if she'd been sitting beside him. When he reached the end of the song, the final note rang and his mother faded away.

"I didn't know you played piano," Aggie said. "That was beautiful." She slid onto the bench beside him. "Play something else."

He shook his head and pulled the cover forward to hide the keyboard. He hurriedly slipped his arm back in his sling so she didn't harass him about playing. Aggie took his left hand and squeezed. How did she always know when he was feeling most vulnerable? She sensed it like a vulture senses carrion, and circled overhead, waiting for the perfect opportunity to swoop down and rip his heart out.

"Where did you learn to play?" She brushed his hair behind his ear with her free hand. It was getting too long to spike, and he needed to bleach his roots, but since he wasn't performing, he didn't bother.

The shiny black cover that hid the keyboard blurred out of focus. "My mother taught me."

"She must have been talented."

"Yeah. Music was the only thing she really loved."

Aggie's hand slid over his lower back, and she leaned against him. "And you. She loved you."

He shook his head slightly. "No. She never wanted me."

"I don't believe that."

He found the anger—found it and clung to it. "I don't give a fuck what you believe."

He shoved her away and tried to stand, but she grasped him around the waist and pulled him back on the bench.

"I don't believe that either. Talk." She slid a hand up his face and turned his head. He couldn't meet her eyes, so he stared at her chin. "Talk to me, Jace."

He didn't want to talk. He wanted to fester. Why wouldn't she leave him alone?

"Tell me why you think your mother didn't want you."

The ache in his chest spread up his throat, stealing his air. "Because…" He took a deep shaky breath. "Because she told me. Every day she told me."

He fought the stinging ache behind his eyes. Men don't cry, son. Yes, Father. I know. I know. It's her fault. Aggie's. She won't leave me alone. She keeps pushing. And pushing.

"What did she say exactly, Jace?" Aggie asked. "Maybe you misunderstood."

He laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I was just a dumb kid. I must have misunderstood." He peeled her off his body and stood. He'd lock himself in the men's room for a while until he got himself under control. Surely she wouldn't follow him there.

Aggie shoved him back down on the bench. His back hit the fall board covering the piano keys, and pain snaked through the healing wound in his shoulder. She straddled his lap, facing him, and grabbed his chin in one hand. She had that cold, dominatrix look in her eyes. It effectively got his attention.

"You're not going to get out of this that easily. You can pretend to be mad at me, but it won't get me off your case."

"Who's pretending?"

"You are. Tell me what your mother said that hurt you so deeply."

"I'm not hurt."

"You are hurt, you dummy, and that pain won't ever go away unless you let it go. I want to help you, but I don't know what I'm up against, Jace. Talk to me. Tell me."

"Maybe I don't want it to go away. Maybe I like it. You're the one who made me admit I like pain."

She hit him in the chest with both palms. "This isn't a game anymore, dammit. Don't you get it?" She hugged him unexpectedly, pressing her nose into his neck. Her warm breath brushed his skin beneath his ear. "I'm sorry I hit you. I'm so frustrated. What did she say to you, sweetheart? What did she say? Go away? Give me a minute to myself? Go play in your room for a while, Mommy's busy right now? What? Just tell me."

Jace snorted. If Mother had only been so kind. He repeated his mother's mantra to Aggie in the same low whisper she'd always used. Mother had always whispered it close to his ear, as if she wasn't really saying those hurtful words, if she said them quietly enough, if no one heard them but him. "If it weren't for you, Jason, I could have had my dream. If it weren't for you, Jason, I wouldn't have had to marry your father. Why did I get pregnant? I should have given you up for adoption. I never wanted you. You're the reason I live like this. In this hovel. With that man. I could have been a concert pianist. I could have been somebody. And now, you know what I am? I'm just your mother. That's all I am. His wife. Your mother. I am no one. I don't want to be your mother, Jason. I never did. I'll give you away. Give you to someone who can stand to look at you."

His hands gripped Aggie's waist as old fears found their way into his heart. "She left me places, Aggie. She pretended she was happy to see me when the cops brought me home. 'He's always wandering off by himself,' she'd tell them and then give them coffee and cookies while she told them stories about my wandering ways. They'd laugh about how cute I was. 'He's adorable. You're lucky no one took him,' they'd say. I was afraid to leave the house with her. I never knew where she'd leave me. When we were out, I didn't dare go to the bathroom or turn my back or let her out of my sight, because if I did, she'd be gone. I could never find her. I'd look for her and call for her, but she'd be gone. She didn't want me, Aggie. She never wanted me. But when we played piano together, I felt something—some closeness to her. I don't know what it was." Something hot and wet slipped down his cheek. "She loved that fucking piano, but she never loved me." He dashed a tear away angrily. "Do you see why I don't want to talk about this? Now I'm fuckin' crying like a little girl."

Aggie crushed his face into her chest, her body shaking with sobs. What was she crying about? She'd wanted him to tell her, so he had. And now she was crying? Women. He didn't understand them.

Aggie kissed the top of his head, rubbing her face against his hair. Getting it wet with tears. Messing it up. Making him feel like a total ass. What if one of the guys saw them like this? He'd never hear the end of it.

"She's gone, Jace. She can't hurt you anymore."

She was gone. His mother. And before she died, he never got to tell her it didn't matter that she didn't love him. He loved her. And that fucking piano of hers? He loved it too. A week after she'd been buried, his father had donated her piano to some school—gotten rid of it because it reminded him of her. That had been worse for Jace, somehow, than her actual death. Father wanted no reminders of her in his house. The woman had been everything to him. Not just his wife. His life. He'd changed after she'd died. He became crueler than Jace's mother had ever thought of being, because Dad needed someone to blame for the love of his life's premature death, and Jace had been the only one available to hold responsible.

Jace closed his eyes tightly, blocking thoughts of his father from his mind.

Aggie kissed his temple tenderly. "I think she did love you, Jace, but it doesn't matter. She's gone, and I'm here. I love you. I do. I love you."

Fear paralyzed him. He couldn't move when every instinct told him to run. "Don't," he whispered.

"Shhh," Aggie murmured. "It's okay. I know you don't know how to respond. I understand. I won't ever abandon you. I'll be here whenever you need me."

And that was far more terrifying than being six years old and left alone in the reptile house at the zoo. At least there, the things that frightened him were in cages. They couldn't get to him. But Aggie got to him. And it scared the hell out of him. "Will you hurt me?" he asked. "I need it." The pain was too raw. He needed help burying it again.

She cupped his face in both hands—kissed his eyelids, the tip of his nose, his lips. "Yes. I'll hurt you. I know what to do now."

Panic flooded his chest. She knew what to do? What did she mean by that?

"We need someplace private," she murmured. "Do you think the guys would be willing to install a soundproof room on the tour bus?"

Jace laughed. "You know, they might. We wouldn't be the only ones to benefit from that."

She kissed him again, smiling down at him. "Let's go."

***

Aggie approached Sed, who sat slouched on the couch watching television in a trancelike state next to Eric. Jace headed straight for the bedroom.

Sed glanced at her. "What's up?"

"Do you think you could get everyone to stay off this bus for about an hour? Jace and I need a little privacy. Well, a lot of privacy."

"It's just me and Eric here. Don't mind us. We've heard it all before."

"Can I watch?" Eric asked eagerly.

"No, this is different. He won't let me in if he thinks you guys can hear him." She leaned close to the guys and whispered so Jace couldn't overhear. "He always worries about what you guys think of him—that you won't accept him for who he is. We'll work on that eventually, but right now, I need to help him bury his mother."

"His mother died?" Sed asked, looking stunned. "When?"

"Around fifteen years ago. You didn't know?"

Sed shook his head. Both he and Eric glanced down the corridor at Jace, who was trying to play it cool by leaning against the door frame. He looked ready to leap out of his skin.

"He never talks about himself," Sed said. "He has this wall thing he does."

Aggie knew exactly what Sed meant. Jace's wall. He hid behind it often, and once he put it up, it was nearly impossible to tear it down. "I'm working on that too," Aggie said. "So, do you think you could get lost for an hour?"

Sed climbed to his feet. "Yep. I could use a workout anyway."

"And keep everyone off the bus?" Aggie added.

Eric pulled a drumstick from the inner pocket of his leather vest and held it across his chest like a sword. "I shall guard this dwelling, m'lady, and vanquish all who dare attempt to trespass." He took a stab at Sed with his improvised weapon. "Back, foul beast."

"With this guy as your knight, you'd better be sure to lock the door." Sed slipped into his jacket and headed down the bus steps.

Eric winked at her and loped after Sed. Aggie closed the bus door and secured it. She took a deep breath and let Mistress V come to the surface. As much as Aggie would have loved to help Jace by talking, listening, and showering him with love, she knew she wouldn't get through to him that way. But Mistress V could. Mistress V could break him. Mistress V would break him.

She stalked down the hall. "Get in there," she demanded, shoving him toward the bedroom. He stumbled sideways through the open doorway.

"Why did Sed and Eric leave?"

"Do you want them to hear you beg?"

"I won't."

She lifted her eyebrows. "Wanna bet?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, actually—"

"Take off your clothes." She went to the closet and lugged his big suitcase out. There had to be something in there she could use.

She found the chain and the cuffs on top of his tools of pleasure and climbed on the bed to suspend them from the ceiling.

"Aggie, what—"

She hopped off the bed and grabbed him by the ear. "Mistress V," she corrected.

"Mistress V," he said breathlessly.

"I told you to strip. Take off the sling too." She released him and returned to the suitcase. She found a paddle, slapped it against her thigh, and set it aside.

Jace made short work of his clothes and moved to stand over her shoulder, peering into the suitcase. "I think there's a riding crop in there somewhere."

"Did I say you could speak? Go tip the mattress and box spring against the wall."

"Why?"

"Don't question me."

He did as she asked and revealed a wooden platform under the mattresses. Perfect.

"Stand there," she pointed to the center of the platform, right beneath the restraints.

"I don't like to be restrained."

"No one asked what you like."

"But—"

"We do this my way or not at all."

He glanced at the restraints and then down at her. He nodded. Gave up his power, except his willpower. But she planned to take that too and give him more in return.

She climbed onto the platform and took his left hand. She lifted his arm above his head, and he held still while she fastened the cuff around his wrist. Before she could secure his other hand, he sank his fingers into her hair and pulled her mouth to his, stealing her thoughts with a deep kiss. She might have him chained to the ceiling, but she was the one ensnared, and she knew it.

When he pulled away, she stared into his eyes. "Don't hate me for this, okay?"

"I don't think it's possible to hate you."

"I wouldn't be so sure." She carefully lifted his injured right arm, watching for signs of distress. The only distress he showed was when she tried to remove the leather cuff on that wrist. "No, don't take that off."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to."

She shrugged and secured his other wrist over his head by fastening the restraint over his studded bracelet. "Is your shoulder okay in that position?"

He nodded. She got to work.

She paddled him until he trembled with excitement and then set the implement aside. She moved to stand behind him and gently ran her hands over his chest and belly while she trailed gentle kisses along his shoulders and back. As she figured he would, he fought his restraints. She continued her tender caresses until he twisted out of her grasp.

"Not gentle, Aggie. Please, I can't stand it."

"Mistress V," she reminded him.

"Hit me, Mistress V. Now."

"I don't think I will," she whispered, spooning against him and running her hands over his belly and his most sensitive places inside the ridges of his hip bones.

He chuckled. "Ah, tickles."

That laugh. It made her heart ache with longing. She almost didn't have the stomach to continue.

"Your mother's failure wasn't your fault, Jace," she said.

He went still.

"She still could have been a concert pianist. You weren't standing in her way. She was standing in her own way. She did it to herself and used you as her excuse."

"Don't tell me about my mother. You don't know anything about her."

She should have expected his anger to surface first, but it wasn't the reaction she was looking for. She had to push harder—dig deeper. God, she hoped he didn't hate her after this. She didn't know if she'd be able to handle his hatred, even if she did this for his own good. "She was a selfish bitch, Jace. Why are you defending her? What kind of mother blames an innocent child for her own failure?"

"Don't say bad things about my mother, Aggie."

"Why not?"

"She was my mother."

"Yes, she was, but she was also a person. A person who hurt you. I don't like it when people hurt those I love."

"Need to inflict all the pain yourself? Is that it?"

She slapped his ass with the paddle, and he groaned, his head tilting back.

"I don't hurt you the way she did," Aggie said.

"But you're trying to."

"No, I—"

"Do you think I'm stupid, Aggie? That I don't know what you're trying to do? You think I'm broken. You think you can fix me. All that 'I love you' bullshit doesn't mean a damned thing, does it? You don't love me. Not the real me. You love who you think you can make me."

"That's not true."

"Yeah, it is. Unfasten the cuffs. I'm done."

So that was his game. She wasn't going to release him—no matter how unaffected he pretended to be.

"I'm not. Not even close to done." She tossed the paddle aside and caressed his skin with her hands and her lips. Touched him. Kissed him with the same tenderness he frequently showed her.

After several minutes, he pulled away, yanking on his restraints. "Okay, you win. Let me go. My shoulder hurts."

"What do you mean, I win? Do you think this is a game?"

"Yeah."

"Do you blame yourself for your mother's death?" she asked. "Or just for her failures in life?"

"Shut up."

"Do you think she would have been more successful if you'd never been born?"

"I said, shut up, Aggie! I'm not in the mood for games."

"Do you wish you would have died in that car accident instead of her? Do you think she would have been happy if you'd died? Do you—"

"Shut up, Aggie." He yanked on his chains hard now, trying to pull the hook from the ceiling. "Just shut up. You don't know a goddamned thing about how I feel."

"Because you won't talk to me. If I'm wrong, then tell me how you really feel."

"You're not wrong," he shouted. "Okay? I do wish I'd died instead of her. I did ruin her life." He took a deep shuddering breath. "Just… just let me go. Take the cuffs off."

"Then you'll run. You'll hide."

"That's all I know how to do. It's all I can do. Hide from it. If I don't, it will find me. Hurt me. Until I feel like I've been eviscerated. Until death would be a blessing."

She touched his face, and he looked into her eyes. She'd never seen his pain this close to the surface. It tore at her heart.

"I love you," she whispered.

His gaze drifted to her forehead.

"Look at me, Jace. I want you to believe what I say. I want you to see it in my eyes."

After a long moment, his eyes settled on hers.

"I love you," she said.

"Why?"

"I need a reason?"

He squeezed his eyes shut. She was losing him again. And she had plenty of reasons. She wasn't sure which one would get through to him.

"I love the way you make love to me, so tenderly, and with such care, that I feel like the only woman in the world."

"That's just sex, Aggie."

She caressed the crease in his forehead gently. "It's more than that to me. It's a way to connect with you. I love your smile, your laugh, your ticklish spots."

His eyes opened.

"I love how you put everything you are into your music."

He smiled slightly.

"I love when you confide in me. I know you don't do that with many people. It makes me feel like you trust me, and somewhere in there, you know I love you, even if you don't think you're worthy."

"I'm not worthy."

"You are. I'm not such a great person, Jace. I have a dark past too—things I wish I could take back, change, but I realized long ago that you can't change the past. You have to let it go. Move on."

"I can't forget, Aggie. I've tried."

She shook her head. "You'll never forget. You shouldn't forget, but you have to forgive yourself. And there's nothing to forgive as far as your mother is concerned. Being born is not something that needs to be forgiven."

He stared at her, his defenses crumbling. "I never told her good-bye, Aggie. I was too afraid."

"Why were you afraid? Tell me."