The Celestial Professor, Ch05: Cat Fight

manDisclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.

Betad by Mike God of Lore, Marethyu, Priapus, Malcolm Tent, Beans

The Celestial Professor

Chapter 05: Cat Fight

– Robin Scamander –

This really isn't how I saw this morning going.

"Girls, can you please-" 

My attempt at mediation is cut off as Fleur yanks on Nym's hair, the pair of powerful, intelligent women catfighting as their argument gets more heated. Plenty of men think having girls fighting over them is enjoyable, but they've clearly never found themselves stuck between two angry witches.

Sighing, I pull out my wand and cast a quick Incarcerous to separate the two, ropes binding the pair as I separate them with another wave of my wand.

"Girls, you are both grown women. Please stop trashing my home, and acting like children," I sigh, rubbing my forehead.

"Ropes on the first date? I underestimated you, Professor, but I don't mind," Fleur purrs, straining against the ropes to make her already form-fitting robes appear even tighter.

"Oi! Merlin, you Frenchies are slutty," Nym barks back, struggling herself. Once again, I just sigh.

"Nymphadora, Fleur… stop this nonsense," I order, my tone stern as I give them both an annoyed look. "I appreciate your interest, but I am old enough to be your fathers. Even if I wasn't, dismantling my house with your squabbling is not an attractive trait."

As I speak, I cast a quick Reparo on the damaged chair they fell onto. Fleur huffs, her head held high, but Nym turns red as her hair flashes through multiple colours.

"Now, I'm going to release you two, and I expect you to act like the adults you allegedly are," I scold, dispelling the ropes as they rise and fix their robes. Nym gives Fleur a dirty look, clearly embarrassed, but Fleur just smirks.

"Sorry, Robin," Nym says, the tips of her ears burning red.

"It's fine, but this isn't what I want to deal with first thing in the morning," I say with a sigh. 

"I'll leave this for now," Fleur agrees, giving me a hungry look which only annoys Nym again, but they seem to know better than to start this nonsense again. "Though I did have a reason for coming here, beyond wishing to make my… interest known."

"Consider it very known," I say, wiping some of her lipstick from my face. She looks utterly unrepentant at that, having literally jumped me before Nym arrived. "What else can I help you with?"

"I was hoping you would be willing to take me on as an apprentice, Professor. Your skills are undeniable, and my sister only draws breath because of you. I wouldn't have been able to save her alone, and I wish to get stronger to ensure that should anything like this happen again, I will be more ready," Fleur explains, sounding earnest as I hum.

Nym goes to speak, but I hold my hand up and silence them both.

"I am not sure about taking you on as an apprentice, but as it happens… I already planned to offer to try and teach some of my tricks to both of you. Last night alerted me to the fact that things are getting dangerous, and preparation is the key to victory. This isn't over. Rookwood did not work alone, and I fear that the threat will come to Hogwarts before long," I explain, making them both straighten up as the situation becomes more serious. 

Last night was the start of something treacherous. Both Rookwood and Bellatrix should have been in Azkaban, and we didn't even hear of a breakout. Someone got them out, which is bad enough by itself. But they also got them out silently, leaving no trace and raising no alarms. That takes far more than just power. That's not even mentioning the ritual Rookwood was trying to do.

Nym's confusion is understandable, and after a moment of consideration, I decide to inform her of the details. If this threat might come to Hogwarts, it makes sense to keep the Auror informed. She's a smart girl, and I can see the way she straightens up, and her face becomes more serious. Even her purple hair turns black.

"I wouldn't mind learning a few tricks from you, crisis or not," Nym agrees, making me smile softly.

"I would be honoured to learn under you," Fleur agrees, her tone sultry and her gaze hungry. I just chuckle slightly; she certainly doesn't give up, does she?

Getting the pair to leave me for my class preparations, I watch them go from my window to make sure they don't start fighting the moment they get out of my house.

100cp granted. 100cp total.

Feat Achieved: Get two best girls to fight over you, 100cp granted. 200cp total.

I didn't get them to do anything!

[Divided Attention] - 100cp

You can split your concentration between as many different subjects as you wish, even focusing on hundreds of different subjects at once. To micromanage the entire mobilisation of your whole Legion is an easy task for you. This inherently would make you a highly gifted bureaucrat, as with your ability to split your attention, you could work on vast stacks of paperwork all at once.

As someone who has to handle homework and lesson plans, I'll take whatever powers I can get my hands on to help me.

[Path of the White Fox] - 100cp

Light and Dream Madra. This path is great for illusionists, as those who walk this path can confuse all 5 senses, create lifelike body doubles, and burn the mind with fox fires.

Requires [Core and Madra Channels] 

Before I can even think about it, my power pulls the pre-requisite power forward.

[Core and Madra Channels] - Free

You now have a beginner's core and Madra channels. This core will store the aura you gather from the world and channel it into your path. Your core begins at the Foundation stage and will progress as you pursue your chosen path.

I can feel the new energy well within me, and the madra channels within my body absorb the ambient power around Hogwarts. It isn't magic- not magic as I know it at any rate. With a moment of consideration, I purchase Path of the White Fox.

I have a plan, after all. I've been away from law enforcement for a long time, but as a Hit Wizard, I was used to getting my hands dirty for the 'greater good'. With the Skeleton Key, Cloaking Sphere, Nezumi and now this, I'm more or less ready to pay Malfoy a visit. 

I need answers, and I'm willing to bet that smarmy bastard is involved in this somehow. Using Madra will make it even harder for them to link it to me because it's utterly alien and only I know how to use it.

Rose says Voldemort is back, and now we have Death Eaters who should still be in prison attacking another school. As much as I want to hope for the best, logic tells me that I need to get to the bottom of this.

– Fleur Delacour –

"We have a problem," Fleur said simply, making Nymphadora turn to her with an annoyed look.

"Damn right we do," Nymphadora agreed, giving her a challenging look. Fleur just rolled her eyes at her rival's look.

"You misunderstand. I don't mean because we both want the same man," Fleur corrected, watching as Nym blinked in confusion. "Robin sees us both as little girls, despite our age. Admittedly, we didn't help matters by acting like teenagers."

"You are a teenager," Nymphadora countered.

"I'm eighteen, not thirteen. Besides, it's my birthday soon," Fleur replied. "Not that you are much older. But again, that's not the point. I want Robin. I am not willing to settle for any of the boys my age when I've seen something better. You also want Robin, but he is… noble, seeing the age difference as improper. If this does not change, neither of us are going to get what we want."

Nymphadora paused with a slight frown on her face. It was clear that Nymphadora had not admitted her feelings for Robin yet; her embarrassment at her crush coming out during their fight was obvious. Still, the other girl reluctantly nodded her head.

"So, what do you suggest?" Nymphadora asked. 

"We need Robin to accept that we are adults, perfectly capable of making our own decisions about who we are interested in. He is flattered by our attraction but struggling with his idea of what is acceptable," Fleur explained easily. Humans could get so hung up on things like that, but Veela society was more liberal about things like love. 

She supposed she should be grateful she didn't meet Robin a couple of years ago because she'd have still wanted him, but she suspected getting him to make love to her when she was younger would have been far harder.

"I think you made that abundantly clear. You were practically trying to rip his clothes off when I arrived," Nymphadora countered, but Fleur just smiled.

"He wasn't exactly trying to stop me, was he? When he has time to think, he lets his preconceptions cloud his judgement and treats us like little girls with a crush," Fleur said. She was sure that if Nym hadn't shown up, she would be in Robin's bed right now despite Robin's claims of her being too young.

"So, what do you think we should do about it?" Nymphadora asked, her tone challenging.

"Robin was right. Our fighting was… childish and set us both back from getting what we want. We could keep fighting over him, and all the while, we would look more immature to him, furthering his decision not to return our affections," Fleur explained, her lips twitching. "Or we could work together and find a way to ensure that we are all… satisfied."

Nymphadora froze at the purr in her tone, looking at her as if to see if she'd properly understood what Fleur was suggesting. As she said, she was used to a more liberal approach to love, and she could see plenty of ways a Metamorphmagus could be fun in the bedroom.

"Merlin, you're serious, aren't you?" Nymphadora finally asked, getting a small smile from Fleur. She'd seen the way her rival's eyes had moved down to her breasts when they were bound. Nymphadora was not uninterested in the feminine form. "You don't actually think Robin would go for that? He's already trying to turn us down."

"Exactly why we should work together and wear down that noble act of his," Fleur replied, a hungry look crossing her face. Nymphadora didn't seem entirely convinced, but she wasn't saying no either. Her hair flashed through a rainbow of colours before it settled on a light pink, and she bit her lip in indecision. For just a moment, her potential ally's eyes roamed Fleur's body, but Fleur just stuck out her substantial chest proudly, hand on her hips. Much to her amusement, she watched as Nymphadora's body shifted, and her breasts grew a cup size to match hers. "I am a Veela; you are a Metamorphmagus. With us both working together, there isn't a man in the world who would be able to resist us."

These Brits could be so silly. She wanted Robin, Nymphadora wanted Robin, and Robin found them both attractive. If they were just a bit more open-minded, they'd all have what they wanted already.

"Gimme some time to think about it," Nymphadora replied, making Fleur nod.

"A pleasure meeting you, Nymphadora," Fleur said, amused at her new friend's grimace. "But don't expect me to wait that long. I know what I want, and I'm going to get it."

"Just Nym, please," Nym asked, getting an easy nod from Fleur. Given that they would be sharing a bed and a man before long, she could do that easily enough. 

– Luna Lovegood –

Alice had quickly become the centre of attention in the Ravenclaw common room, the Crumple-Horned Snorkack slowly getting used to all the fussing. Of course, having living proof that she wasn't making up animals had changed the opinions of many of her housemates, many of whom seemed embarrassed.

She'd already sent pictures to her father, dozens of them, as she got a little carried away.

As they headed to class, Alice followed behind with a happy chirp.

"Ah, Miss Lovegood. Thank you for watching Alice for me," Professor Robin said with a soft smile. He seemed a little distracted, but he gathered his thoughts quickly as he knelt down to stroke Alice. "My apologies for leaving her with you all night." 

"Oh, it was fine, Professor! She was no trouble," Luna said cheerfully. Alice was a cuddler and was happy to sleep in Luna's bed. "Did everything go alright? Your message said there was a problem…"

"It went… better than it could have," Robin said with a tired chuckle. "Did the… Nargles bother you at all?"

Luna grinned at his tactful question.

"Nope! I think Alice is a natural Nargle repellant," Luna explained with a smug smile. Her bullies were less willing to bother her when she obviously had a connection with the new professor.

"Snorkacks certainly are talented, aren't they?" Robin asked with a chuckle, ruffling her hair. His eyes flickered down to the camera she was wearing around her neck. "I take it you've already sent pictures to your father?"

"Of course! We're doing a special edition on Snorkacks. I don't suppose you'd be open to an interview?" Luna asked hopefully, watching as Robin hesitated for a moment.

"Perhaps. I'll consider it, but for now, we have a class to get to," Robin reminded her gently, leading her to where the rest of the class was slowly gathering. She was first because there was no way she was going to be late for Professor Scamander's class, but they'd talked enough that several other students had shown up.

They were covering Streelers today, and Robin's knowledge and skill with magical creatures was clear as he stopped one of the overly bold Gryffindors from touching the very colourful toxic slime the magical snails left behind, without even stopping his lecture beyond giving the boy an amused look.

She giggled slightly as she saw Hagrid taking notes, seemingly forgetting that he was a teaching assistant and not a student. She didn't blame him. Hagrid was very enthusiastic about his subject but Robin was the expert, and he had a way with words that kept the entire class focused and attentive. 

Feeding her Streeler, she was careful not to touch the slime it was leaving behind. It was toxic enough that it killed basically any flora it moved over, so Robin had them in a small pen that had a hardened dirt surface.

Class ended far too soon, and she reluctantly left Alice behind to go to her next class, giving Robin a wave as she left. 

– Robin Scamander –

Something is wrong; I can sense it. Fleur has already garnered a lot of attention, mostly from the boys of the school, and has become the source of a lot of gossip. It's reached my ears that Fleur has volunteered to help with the Duelling club, which seems a little off for someone who was pulling Nym's hair and scratching her not three hours ago.

Hogwarts gossip truly is faster than the wind itself.

There's a disturbance; I can sense it. 

Fleur is a persistent woman. She literally followed me back to England and got a job in my school just so I couldn't get away from her, and Nym seems to have taken Fleur's presence as a challenge… 

In truth, my dating life has been remarkably bland. Law enforcement isn't the best career to start a family, not when there's a war on, and then I was travelling too much to ever settle down. I've had flings over the years, but I've only ever seriously dated twice.

And since one of those was Bellatrix Black, my dating life has been less than successful. The other was Amelia, but we broke up after I left the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. A long-distance relationship didn't suit either of us, and she was busy with Susan after her brother was killed. 

I haven't seen her since we amicably split up, and that's very old news. 

Feat Achieved (over a decade ago): Fuck Amelia Bones, 100cp granted.

Sometimes, I think my power thinks that it is funny.

[The Orb of Ramjarin] - 100cp

An ancient conjuring orb with the power of priests of Ramjarin. It can be used as part of a ritual to make a spiritual creature physical enough to kill.

A strange device, but I suppose if I ever need to kill a ghost, I'll be able to handle it. Maybe I should offer Nick a chance to become truly headless, with only the slight possibility of death- well, becoming even more dead than he already is.

I don't think you can get into trouble for killing a ghost. The legality of it is questionable at best.

The orb is supposed to be used in a ritual that requires more items, but my power seems to pride itself on convenience. All I need to do to make something spiritual join us on the corporeal plane is a simple incantation, which has been pushed into my mind. 

'What was once in our thoughts, be now in our midst.'

It's not really meant for ghosts, but it will work all the same. The general idea of the ritual is to force creatures that are possessing people to take on a corporeal form where they could be slain without harming those the creature was controlling, hence the chant.

If nothing else, I'm happy to have a way to deal with incorporeal creatures. I don't expect to need to fight them, but I really don't know what I'm going to be facing in the future. I also wouldn't have expected to fight a Nundu, so it's better to just assume I'll have to face something incorporeal sooner or later.

Shaking my head, I focus on what matters. What to do about Fleur and Nym?

I am a grown man; I shouldn't be struggling to work out how to deal with the affections of a pair of girls far younger than me. 

…I have no idea how to handle them.

Damn it all, I'm asking Aunt Queenie for advice. Mentally preparing myself for an embarrassing conversation, I grab a handful of floo powder and get to work. 

Dealing with a madman performing strange rituals and his pet Nundu? No problem at all. Dealing with the affections of a Veela and a Metamorphmagus? Time to call in an expert.

I miss when my biggest concern was finding an invisible warthog. 

– Albus Dumbledore –

The Minister did not want to believe that Azkaban was compromised, being all too willing to stick his head in the sand. However, with Rookwood's body and the captured Death Eaters, he couldn't deny the evidence right in front of him.

Of course, he immediately pivoted to blaming Sirius Black as the mastermind, but at least he seemed to be taking this seriously. The Death Eaters were foreign, recruited from primarily Eastern Europe, an area where Gellert's influence could be felt even now with the prevalence of Dark Arts practitioners. They were not followers from the First War but new recruits, and none of them bore the Dark Mark, something Fudge used to further his argument that they weren't serving Voldemort.

In Fudge's version of events, Sirius returned to Azkaban and used the method he used to escape to break out several key Death Eaters. He then went around recruiting criminals to act as muscle for whatever scheme they were trying to do.

This was obviously false. Sirius escaped with his Animagus form, starving himself until he was skinny enough to slip past the dementors when they tried to open his cell, something that was now publicly known.

They were currently doing an audit of Azkaban. It came as a great surprise to find Augustus Rookwood and Bellatrix Lestrange inside their cells, catatonic from the exposure to the Dementors. 

A closer inspection revealed the trick. The 'prisoners' were muggles, transformed into the Death Eaters through some unknown method. When questioned, they even thought they were Rookwood and Lestrange once they had recovered enough to talk. Further questioning and mental probing poked more and more holes in their stories until their unknowing cover fell apart entirely.

This still left them with many questions. Someone, almost certainly Tom, had gotten into Azkaban with these muggles and had time to swap them out with the prisoners. They did this despite the Dementors being on higher alert after the recent break-out, and without anyone, human or Dementor, noticing. No wards were triggered, and no alarms were raised.

Even now, they were struggling to work out just how many other prisoners had been replaced. Whatever had been done to them made them even feel like whoever they were impersonating. The Bellatrix decoy felt like she had magic, and surface-level scans revealed her as a witch, Bellatrix's age. Blood samples came out as belonging to Bellatrix Lestrange.

It was actually the Goblins who were helping to work out the fakes. Their tests revealed the blood as fake. Something they seemed to find offensive as it took them five separate, increasingly more in-depth tests to expose 'Bellatrix's' blood as having been altered.

It was a worrying situation.

The fake Bellatrix looked like her and sounded like her; almost all simpler tests revealed that she was Bellatrix Lestrange, and even her memories had been altered to match Bellatrix's. This muggle woman remembered fighting in the first war, and her memories were accurate. The biggest way they had to prove that they weren't who they claimed to be was simply to give them a wand and have them try to cast something, an act that they simply couldn't do.

'Bellatrix' even had a mental breakdown, fearing her time in Azkaban had turned her into a squib. 

It raised a rather large security concern. If an actual Death Eater was able to use this method to turn into someone, would anybody know? As it stood, the only consistent method of testing they had was a rather invasive test from the goblins, who seemed incredibly displeased that their simpler tests could be fooled.

They demanded that one of the victims be taken through the Thief's Downfall. Their anger only grew when the transformed victim passed through the waterfall and kept their altered appearance. It had even led to Gringotts being closed for the first time since the last rebellion.

Apparently, they were doing a bank-wide audit to ensure that nothing was missing and that every deposit and withdrawal had been made by the legitimate owner, not someone else wearing their face.

His own research into the runes that Rookwood had carved onto the ground and into the bodies of the students had yielded nothing. Nor had he identified the metal that was used in the Nundu's collar. 

It was humbling to be reminded how little he still knew.

Looking out of his office window, his eyes landed on Robin's house with a small, thoughtful frown. He was well aware that he did not know everything about magic, but Robin's return had enlightened him to how much he still did not understand.

Robin had always been talented, able to alter his spells to perform such remarkable effects even when he was a student, but the years of adventures had gone well for him. Robin's abilities were truly impressive, but he had to wonder just where Robin had found all these strange spells and techniques, where he had acquired the strange key and sphere of invisibility.

Conjuring crystals out of thin air, the strange shield that he used to protect himself… seeing the past. Two of those he could reasonably explain, but the third was far more noteworthy. Robin had peered into the past, watching the events unfold, and then he was guided to the cave.

There was the chance that Robin was somehow involved, something he'd briefly considered. If anyone could tame a Nundu, it would have been a Scamander, but he did not believe that was the case.

Rookwood had been genuinely shocked that someone had discovered them. Maxime only asked for Robin's help because Beauxbatons' Care of Magical Creatures Professor happened to know Robin's reputation and recommended him. Things just didn't add up, and he liked to think he was rather good at spotting lies. 

No, Robin was not involved, but that didn't explain his strange collection of magical artefacts and talents. Could he truly have just found them during his admittedly vast travels?

He and Gellert had travelled, and he'd seen the wonders of the world. He knew that there were countless secrets that he was not privy to… but was it possible for one man to wander across so many secrets? Not by accident; he'd have had to be searching for such things.

Robin had travelled to study Magizoology, hadn't he? Unless he'd used that as a cover while searching the world for power. But then again, why? He'd started his travels right after the war ended. What had pushed him to leave his home behind?

It was becoming clear that Robin had his secrets, and he had already contacted Newt to subtly question him regarding Robin's travels. He very much doubted Robin was in league with Tom, as Robin took down many death eaters during the first war… but he was also once the lover of Bellatrix Black.

Had Robin known Sirius was innocent when he took him down? No, he was getting worryingly close to sounding like a conspiracy theorist as he tried to work out what made Robin tick. With his service record and family, Robin deserved the benefit of the doubt, but with all that was going on, he couldn't afford to leave the mystery shrouded like this. 

He simply couldn't begin to guess at Robin's true motives and ambitions.

– Robin Scamander –

What the hell was I thinking?

Why did I think that handing my eternally teasing auntie a literal mountain of ammunition to target me with was a good idea? Rubbing my forehead, I groan to myself.

To the surprise of no one who knows Aunt Queenie, her advice was to 'live a little and enjoy being the prize of two young, beautiful witches'. I genuinely don't know what I was expecting from her.

Needless to say, she finds my current troubles incredibly amusing and I should assume that the rest of my family already know. Of course, she found the fact that I discovered a Crumple-Horned Snorkack even funnier, knowing that Alice's mere existence is a slap to the face of both myself and my father.

I should probably expect Dad to show up with a million questions within the week. The only reason he's not already arrived is because he's still off looking at fire slugs. Alice purrs as she brushes against my leg, making me sigh and stroke the crime against Magizoology.

I am very lucky that the Celestial powers saw fit to change history so that I actually found Alice in Scandinavia, as I claimed because I really don't have another way to explain her existence. 

Having to explain to my nearly one-hundred-year-old aunt that, no, I was not a virgin just because she never saw me with a girl is not an experience I ever wish to go through again. 

Shaking my head, I make Alice go into her bed and head to the floo. A quick trip later, I arrived in the reception hall of my manor. It's strange; this is the first time I have ever been here, and yet I have memories of this place all the same.

The very air feels powerful, as this manor is located where three magical leylines meet. Hogwarts is built in a similar location, but the air there doesn't prickle my skin like it does here. 

I don't dwell on it for long, heading to my office with a frown on my lips. [Underground Taverns] gave me access to a series of taverns scattered mostly around Magical Europe, and their staff report to me.

It's all cloaked in secrecy, nobody knowing who actually owns them, but they both provide a nice income and a source of intel. They're frequented by the darker side of magical society, non-humans and dark wizards alike, and my tavern keepers hear things.

Things like the recruitment that is going on across Europe. Thugs, low-lives and nobodies are getting recruited by masked men, though noticeably not Death Eaters. At least, not people wearing the Death Eater masks and brandishing their Dark Marks proudly as they did in the first war. Hm, I wonder if I accidentally gave the Death Eaters some secrecy, as my Taverns have proven resistant to the various attempts by law enforcement to infiltrate them.

Well, that information is making it to me now. I should have come here sooner to go through the reports, but my new career has distracted me. Well, I only got it hours before Beauxbatons anyway, so I wouldn't have had time to act on this information. 

Still, my reports say that a lot of the dregs of magical society have gone with these masked men. We only saw five, plus Rookwood. Voldemort is rebuilding his army, and if nothing changes, it will mean open war again.

I've seen one war and seen the damage it did to our society. There's a reason the older generation still fears the Dark Lord's name, even a decade after his 'death'. I don't know what caused me to gain this power, but if I can use it to stop Europe from being dragged into a second war so soon after the first, then I must. My travels have been fun, but I think it's time that Robin, the Magizoologist, took some time off and Robin, the Hit Wizard, returned.

Malfoy is up to something. It's why Cornelius wanted to get a Ministry employee into Hogwarts. If Voldemort has a plan, Malfoy will know at least part of it. Time to put the Skeleton Key to the test and pay him a visit at that fancy manor of his.

— Bonus Scene — Amelia Bones

The revelation that Azkaban had been infiltrated and many of their worst prisoners had escaped was a secret the Ministry was trying very hard to keep quiet. 

It wasn't working, no matter how Fudge tried to suppress the truth. 

The worst of the Death Eaters that had been put away so many years ago were out again, and the Ministry hadn't even noticed. Not until Dumbledore and Robin had stumbled across Rookwood trying to sacrifice a group of students in some unknown ritual. Rookwood, who should have been rotting away in a cell, not managing to duel Dumbledore on equal grounds for a short while.

Rookwood had always been dangerous, but it was his intelligence and cunning that made him so. He had never been the strongest duelist, but Dumbledore had claimed that despite Rookwood having spent over a decade in Azkaban (assuming the breakout was recent), he was stronger than ever before.

What did that mean for the strongest of the Death Eaters? 

No matter how Fudge tried to hide it, something dangerous was stirring, and as the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, it was her job to handle it. Her department was underfunded, inexperienced and ill-prepared to deal with this threat.

Most of the old guard was part of Dumbledore's order, which he thought she didn't know about. She hadn't gotten this far by being blind to the mixed loyalties of some of her people. Tonks and Shacklebolt, at the very least. Mad-Eye as well, 'retired' as he was.

Frowning, she pulled out a quill and got writing. She needed more information, and she wasn't going to get it from Dumbledore. Luckily, she'd been on very good terms with the other hero of the day once upon a time.