'I thought men like little women'

To maintain my standing back in Reka, I always had to look out for my figure; for my skin, my hair, and almost every single aspect of my being, so the array of meat spread between us made me want to vomit.

"Feel free to change the everything. Pull the drapes and strip this whole castle bare if you want to. If you need to buy something, tell Jane. She'll let Alestair know and then you're good to go."

Good to go? I mentally repeated as I cut a small piece of steak from the platter in front of me. 

I pouted. I didn't mean too, but where did the sexy, naughty man in front of me went? I was hopeful when he sounded worried when he told me to change the décor. I thought he might've seen my disgusted expression and took it as me feeling uncomfortable with the animal heads. But then he spoke as if I'm a freeloader and he's the generous landlord.

"Lady Isa?" he called and with my thoughts getting the best of me, I glared at him. "Do you not like the food?" his voice was softer now.

"It's not that I don't like the food. It's just… too much."

"Too much?" Must I really spell it out to him?

"I'm trying to watch what I eat. I have a…" I paused and lowered my gaze to my hands that's now fiddling on the table napkin on my lap. "… a figure to maintain," I whispered, but I think it's loud enough for him to hear. 

He tilted his head, "A figure to maintain? You hardly even have that much to begin with. Even with those layers of fabric, I still felt that you didn't really have much of a figure when you sat on my la—"

"AAAHH!!!" I shouted and reached out to him before he was able to finish his sentence. I wanted to cover his mouth but the space between me and him was too great, so my panicked self tossed the table napkin across the table and as if I was a seasoned marksman, the piece of cloth went straight to his face. "Oh. My. Heavens. I am very sorry, Count Astor. I am usually more composed than thi—" he raised his hand I closed my mouth. 

"It's good to see you… livelier," he teased, his laughter suppressed behind his smiling eyes. Who thought a war hero would have this humor? And who thought I'd embarrass myself like this? In from of him and in front of my future people?

Leon took the napkin that fell on his lap and placed in on the table. He then waved his hand and a waiting servant walked towards me to place a new one on my lap.

"Going back to our conversation. I don't see why you have to be so concerned about your figure. You won't blow up with just a few slices of meat. Matter-of-factly, you're so light, I'm afraid you might get blown by the strong wind here in the island."

"I… thought men like little women." I was so embarrassed to tell him because it sounded childish that I just mumbled it like a kid complaining silently. Being a part of high society means that I have to get on the new raves, to set a trend, to be an inspiration—and a source of envy—for other ladies. I must not make a mistake or deviate from the standard.

As I waited for a response, my mind wandered to him again. Would Leon also tell me that I should take care of my image? Would he tell me that I'm prettiest when I'm all dolled up? Or would he tell me to—

"Little? Ha!" he scoffed as he took a piece of meat from his fork. "I think you've been surrounded by boys, not men. Have you seen a woman in this castle that's as little as you?" He emphasized the word little, as if to meant skinny. "I don't mind if you want to keep up that figure, but I do care if you suddenly fall and injure yourself for not eating enough. So, eat up. I'm fine with you gaining weight than just being skin and bones. If anyone insults you for gaining some pounds, I don't mind ruining their lives. We don't need that kind of negativity around us." He said so nonchalantly that my mouth gapped as I watched him slice more pieces of meat and piling it on my plate.

Why must he say it like that?, I asked myself when I felt my cheeks warm up. After that, I focused on finishing my meal, hard as it was.

When we were done, Jane was waiting outside the dining hall door with two younger maids who introduced themselves as Viola and Marie.

Viola was taller than Marie, a short-haired brunette with round blue eyes; Marie, though smaller than Viola and I, had piercing green eyes in contrast to her long blonde hair that she kept in a low bun.

"They will be serving you from today, Lady Isa," Jane said and the two curtsied. They curtsied the second time when they saw Leon coming up behind me. He told me that I should go ahead without him since he still have some business to take care of. I asked him what it was, but he only answered with something generic and that irked me.

I almost yelled, "We agreed to be honest!", behind him, but I managed to control myself. It wouldn't look good to be so clingy.

Men don't like clingy women.

"You seem to be in good terms with Master Leon already." Jane led me to another flight of stairs opposite where our room was.

"I'd say, he wasn't that hard to get along with in the first place." Jane giggled and I smiled softly at her.

By how fondly the head housekeeper talks about Leon and how the maids don't seem to have any particular reservations towards him other than their politeness, I assumed that he's not a hard man to get along with. That despite his being a prince, he's relatively not very… noble-like when dealing with people lower than him in status.

The room Jane brought me to was going to be my own personal study where I might want to spend some time in the future since I will be the lady of the house once our wedding was held and consummated.

Consummated. The word repeated itself in my mind as if thinking about it once didn't make me blush, so I shook my head to get rid of unwanted thoughts in the middle of Jane explaining to me some important things that I, honestly, didn't catch.

Get a grip of yourself, Isadora Montcroix!, I mentally reprimanded myself. Just earlier I slapped my husband-to-be because I felt insulted when he told me that he wanted to get into the good part after the wedding, and here I am drooling at the thought of it! 

I must be going crazy.

My new study was slightly smaller than the one I had back in Vlona, but it's much spacious because it only had a few books on the shelves, a wooden table by the window overlooking the ocean and a part of Vervin's plaza ahead, and old-looking chairs with a small wooden table in between.

Tomorrow after all my things are settled, I'll come back here and organize a little. It's a good thing that I brought a number of personal things from my own room and study when I was tidying up back at our castle. I'll have this study feel like my old one in a jiffy—and I will certainly start with the awful looking chair.

******** 

After showing me to my study, Jane ordered Viola and Marie to prepare my bath and they were swiftly out of our sight. Since preparing a bath might take them a while, I asked Jane some more questions that I haven't asked earlier, like, "Why is Count Astor called the fifth prince when he's clearly the second-born prince?"

The head housekeeper stopped for a second before wiping invisible sweat from her forehead. Then she indulged me.

She told me that the reason Leon was called as such was because he really was the fifth the prince, however, the three princes before him died shortly after being born. Jane also added that that's the reason why the queen hated him so much. She said that Leon was accused of killing his brothers; or if he's not, that he's a curse that came to the royal family because since he arrived, the queen only had miscarriages and a stillborn.

Jane also told me that he used his mother's last name rather than that of the royal family to tell the queen that he had no interest in taking over the throne, though the king thought otherwise. For the rest of my questions, the head housekeeper only answered me with short explanations, saying that Leon was supposed to tell me that himself. I didn't pester her further because it was just my first night. The things I knew tonight are enough for today. There'll be plenty of time to ask questions later.

By the time we entered our room, the bath's already drawn. Viola stood by the divider while I could see Marie's back behind it, pouring some relaxing bath oils which quickly filled the room. Jane excused herself and I accepted my maids' assistance to undress me.

"Is the temperature alright, my lady?" Marie asked as soon as the water reached my shoulders.

"Hmm-mm…" I sounded because how else am I going to answer? I've been travelling for days and the only source of bathing water I can get were from inns which were never really enough, and from nearby lakes which were hardly hygienic. But this… the relaxing scent of lavender and rose oils filled me as the steam from the bathwater loosened my stiffened muscles. Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes, lowering myself some more until I could feel the water tickling my nose.

I can get used to this kind of treatment every night, I thought.

After staying like so for a few minutes, I propped myself up, my elbows resting on the sides of the porcelain tub. Viola excused herself and came back with a small towel that she had rolled into a makeshift pillow to support my neck as they moved to wash my hair. After washing my hair, Marie patted it dry and wrapped it in a towel, then they proceeded to scrub me clean. 

They gently scrubbed my arms, my collarbones, down to my chest and my abdomen; my legs down to my feet then they left me to soak in the water first before getting out to be washed again to get rid of the bath oils. After that, they both had me wear a thin, see-through robe that clung to my still damp skin, and sat me in front of another life-size mirror that I didn't notice earlier.

Seeing myself being touched and massaged made me blush, and with the warmth inside the bathroom combined with the overwhelming scent of flowers and sandalwood made me lose my sanity inch by inch as something inside me started to build up.

"Damn it, hold your reins, Isadora Montcroix. You can't be like this every time they assist you on your bath!" I swallowed discreetly as I mentally reprimanded myself. But damn the heavens, I don't think I can face Leon and all of his perfect-ness tonight—those ripped arms that can probably sweep me off my feet and onto the bed; his broad shoulders and back casting a shadow as I look up to him—his silvery eyes, those alluring lips that just begs to be taken. Damn it! I'd bet his hands would be rough from wielding a sword for a decade. I can just imagine it against my skin, gliding, probing, squeezing—

DAMN IT! Damn it, damn it, damn it! I mentally screamed.

Both my maids were surprised when I suddenly stood up. I was taken aback with my action too, but if I stayed a minute longer in front of this mirror with their hands on me, I'd be even more aroused, so I told them that I was simply tired, and they took it fairly well.

After a deep breath and a half-forced smile, I thanked my maids for their service. Marie undid the towel wrapped around my head while Viola helped me with my short-sleeved nightgown. When they were finally gone, I walked over to the dresser and checked myself again on the mirror. I gulped as I stared at the reflection of the bed behind me. I thought I had subdued my urges perfectly but the perked mounds against the soft fabric of my nightgown said otherwise.

"Damn the heavens!" I cursed louder this time as I stomped my feet and threw myself on the bed; pulling a pillow, I buried my face on it and screamed the frustrations between my legs. "Why do I want to get physical tonight of all nights, damn it!"

When I managed to calm myself, I laid flat on my back, my still damp hair splayed all over the bed. I counted from one to twenty-one then back to one again until my head's clear of any… perverse thoughts. But then all of a sudden, a knock sounded, and I whipped my head to where the door was. My eyes wide in panic.