A Human

MATTHEW'S POV

As I said, a lot of things could happen within a short period of time - more specifically - in one day. You could end your friendship with someone, your other friend started talking to you again, but with you being a jerk, you ruined the chance he gave, then the next thing you know, you saw and heard things that you weren't supposed to know. Everyone, I introduce myself - Matthew Alexandre Martinez.

I was in my room, wide awake. I had not slept well over the night as my mind kept rewinding to the scene that I witnessed hours ago. Guilt had taken over my emotions and worry weighed more than a ton in my chest, making it hard to breathe and to rest my body and mind. It was inconvenient because it was our turn to go down the underworld later, and I had little sleep.

I tossed and turned on my bed, desperate to get some shut-eye and find a comfortable position so I could sleep. To no avail, I was sprawled on my bed, my efforts were in vain as I still had my eyes open.

I looked at the clock that sat on the table nearby. The time read 6:47 in the morning.

'If I can't sleep anymore, might as well take a short jog to prepare for gym class later.'

I kicked the blanket off me and stood up. I stretched my arms and straightened my back, hearing faint cracks as I did so. I dug through my closet for appropriate exercising attire. I chose a simple sleeveless maroon tee with red jogging pants. I grabbed the white sneakers that I found next to my bathroom door. After I put my clothes and shoes on, I proceeded to exit my bedroom and walk down the stairs towards the living room.

The light of dawn peeked through the window and illuminated the dark mansion. It seemed to be the only source of light in the whole place, probably because no one was awake yet.

Or so I thought.

I heard footsteps echoing from behind, making me turn to the sound quickly. I flinched when I saw who the footsteps belonged to.

Samuel stood there. His hair was messy as he looked half-asleep with eyebags underneath his eyes, on his right hand was a mug filled with hot chocolate. The moment he saw me, his eyes widened and any trace of drowsiness in his eyes disappeared.

We awkwardly stared at each other. I didn't dare speak in fear my words might not be my own again. Seeing Samuel so early in the morning was a funny sight to see. If I hadn't insulted him yesterday night, I would be dying in laughter right now. But as I witnessed something troubling last night, I was dying in remorse, worry, and shame.

The captain in front of me had enough of the tense atmosphere and took a sip of his hot chocolate, grimacing when the liquid supposedly burned his tongue.

"Good morning." He said. I blinked at his words. Was he pretending nothing happened? Had he forgiven me? Did he let my words slide? Nevertheless, I felt a bit happy he talked to me. Maybe I didn't make things worst after all.

"Morning." I said a little too gleefully. Samuel must have noticed my tone and smiled.

"Where are you going?" He seemed to also notice my clothes. Compared to his red shirt and black pajama pants, I wore clothes that screamed I was going somewhere.

"Oh, just out for a quick jog." To my surprise, this conversation was going in the direction I wanted - casual and normal.

"Is that so? Your stamina's unbelievable." He chuckled and swirled his mug, which I didn't know what that would serve since the chocolate was still hot.

"If you can't believe it then how about you join me? I'll show you that you've seen nothing yet." I boasted. Samuel opened his mouth - preferably to accept my offer - when he abruptly stopped and his hand, the unoccupied one, reached out to his right shoulder. If I wasn't mistaken, that was where I saw that strange long line that was a lighter shade of his skin tone.

As if he remembered something horrid, he scrunched his face up and shook his head. "Maybe another time, this chocolate is something that is not good cold." He raised the mug, the liquid inside was still emitting steam. He took another sip and winced as he put his tongue out.

I frowned at this. I recalled Samuel's and Zed's conversation last night and knew Samuel couldn't move around so much or else something might open up - whatever that is.

I could think about all of that as I jogged. I was about to walk away but halted.

"Hey, Samuel..." I began slowly, not knowing how this would turn out.

The blonde-haired boy tilted his head, indicating for me to continue.

"About yesterday-" I saw him tensed up. "I'm sorry. And I mean it this time. I-I don't know what came over me and..." I looked at him. He had the same expressionless face as he had the night before, but his eyes showed storms of emotions that were raging underneath, confused and torn on what would come out as the victor.

"I just wanted to say you were right. We all have our secrets. You didn't have to tell me anything." I smiled.

Samuel's eyes calmed down a bit, though I could still see a hurricane in them. "No worries, Matthew. I kinda get why you would be suspicious of me though."

"Yeah, you probably provoked the guy in the van too."

"Hey! I said suspicious, I didn't say about provoking anybody!"

We shared a laugh after that. I reconciled with Samuel. I felt like I could breathe freely again.

I knew this was the part where my mouth was gonna act up so I quickly waved goodbye. I was standing on the doorstep of the mansion when I plugged my earphones in and played my music on shuffle. The song "Grenade" by Bruno Mars came on first.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the music before running. I re-opened my eyes and faced the sky. Blue and orange fought for dominance as the sun peeked from the horizon. This would be the last time I would get to enjoy the summer air. I breathed in and smelled a new morning.

I craned my neck from side to side when I reached the mansion's gate. Then, I took off.

I almost forgot how relaxing jogging early in the morning could be. This was ironic since you're using energy and being active. Whenever I jogged, I could think things clearly, just like now.

I paid no mind to the people nor the buildings I passed by. I was too busy thinking over last night and the talk I had with Samuel a while ago. I didn't even know if I was the one controlling my feet or if they had minds of their own. I didn't feel that tired yet thanks to my stamina. So basically, I was way inside my head.

What were those thin lines that Samuel had on his back? Why were there so many of them? What did Zed mean when he said they did these to him? What did 'they' do?

There were more to my questions, yet I still had no answer to them. I had a hunch about those lines that I saw, but I refused to believe them. It was just too hard to do so. First, he lost his sister, had nightmares about her, and now ventifios inflicted those permanent wounds? Samuel did have it roughly two years ago.

Now, as Zed told me, everything was coming back to him - memories and secrets Samuel would rather have taken to the grave.

Now that I thought about it, why was Samuel awake so early in the morning? Surely, it could also mean he wasn't sleepy or tired anymore, but I had a feeling it was much more than that.

I stopped in my tracks and gasped.

'Could it be... His nightmares came back?'

Oh, no. Was it my fault? Did my actions cause that? I need to go back and make sure he's okay.

I turned around, ready to jog back to the mansion when I caught something move in the corner of my eye. It was too fast for me to comprehend what it was, but I was sure it was black in color and was a bit small in size.

'It's probably just a crow.'

I headed back to the mansion as fast as I could. By the time I arrived, I was slightly drenched in sweat.

I huffed and panted, trying to catch my breath. I felt thirsty after that run. I went to the kitchen and saw Samuel was making eggs n' bacon. He was currently adding salt to the sunny-side-up eggs.

Aside from the dark rings under his eyes, he looked normal.

"Hey, Samuel." I addressed him and got a glass from a cabinet.

The captain seemed surprised I was here with him. "Back already?"

"I did say it was only a short jog." I replied and filled my glass with water. I gulped down the liquid and sighed from its coldness.

The truth was that I was worried. I planned to stay with Samuel until he could open up about his nightmares - if the reason was his nightmares at all.

"Oh, yeah. You did." Samuel added a pinch of pepper after that.

I just stood there, debating whether or not I should bring the topic up. It was a pretty personal thing to discuss, and the last thing I wanted was to break my friendship with Samuel. I already lost Elijah, I couldn't bear it if I lost two great people.

'I guess I'll take my chance.'

"So, did you wake up early just to make breakfast?" I asked in a joking manner, trying not to do the same mistake as last night.

Samuel stared at the eggs in a daze. "Yeah... I was hungry. And you must be too, right?"

Oh, how quick he was to change the topic. That's the sign to stop. My back ached once more and without warning, I pushed past Samuel and into the living room. As I left the kitchen, I saw Samuel blinking confusedly.

'There it is again. These... pins and needles. It happens whenever I'm about to say or do something bad. Good thing I ran out of there in time.'

I had just noticed this. I remembered the time I argued with Elijah - my back was in pain. Then, when I tried to force something out of Samuel last night, the same spot on my back burned.

'What exactly is this? The throbbing spot... Is the very same spot as that rash!'

To confirm it, I poked where I felt the pins and needles. A twinge of pain jolted throughout my body and I groaned from it.

Affirmative, the pins and needles and the rash were the same.

But what could this mean? Was that rash a sign that I needed to go see a doctor? Were the pins and needles affecting my health? Oh god, I need to-

My train of thought was interrupted by Samuel. "Hey, Matthew. Are you okay?"

I instantly turned around and met Samuel. "What? Me? I- Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just... I remembered the new episode of 'My forgotten past' comes out today!" I tried to change the topic.

'Hopefully, that excuse can turn out to be real.'

Samuel perked up at this. "Really? Too bad we have school later. And the underworld too... Maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure, no problem." I waved it off. I was counting on the director to back up my excuse. Or else I'd be seen as a liar by Samuel - both a jerk and a liar. That didn't seem to go well with each other.

Samuel went quiet for a moment, and I could see a flicker of hesitation in his eyes.

"Hey, Matthew..." Samuel trailed off. I gave him my attention and away from the rash.

"... Did my sister... You know... Tell you about the hat?"

I froze on that part. Was he mad? Would he scold Samantha if I told him? I couldn't do that to her! I was the one who wanted to know, and she just chose to give me some information about it.

I opened my mouth, ready to deny it to save Samantha from the anger of her brother when Samuel cut me off. "Don't worry. I won't get mad. I just want to confirm if she did tell you something."

Was he a mind reader? Now, that's creepy. But since he said he won't get mad, I saw no reason to lie about it.

"Yeah, she did. And I want to say-" Samuel shook his head and stopped me.

"I had enough of those 'I'm sorry for your loss'. The last thing I need is a reminder that..." His expression fell into a sad one. "... Samara's..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. I knew it was too painful for him to say and to accept the fact that his older sister was gone. 

"I know. I'm sorry." I walked closer and patted his shoulder. "It must be hard on you. There's nothing wrong with that. You loved her, after all."

Samuel flitted his eyes towards me. A light of comfort shone in his smoky grey orbs. "Yeah, I did... So much."

He smiled towards the ceiling, but I knew better. He was looking at the sky - at the heavens, hoping his sister had the same smile he was wearing right now. He was letting her know how much he loved, respected, and admired her. It may be late to say all of that now, but a simple smile could hold so many messages at once - just like what Samuel was doing.

The blond boy brought his attention back to me. I think this was the time I bring the topic up. 

"Samuel, I also want to confirm something."

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath and braced myself for the answer. "Is it true that... You've been having nightmares?"

I was right. The look on Samuel's face said it all. His eyes suddenly widened as he stammered. "H-How did you-" Then, he paused as realization hit him. "Damn it, Samantha." He sighed. "You owe me that new game that's been released."

"So, is it true?"

Samuel has his lips in a thin line as he subtly nodded. "Ugh, this is embarrassing." He turned around and messed with his hair out of frustration and maybe out of embarrassment. For me, this was nothing to be ashamed of. I completely understand his situation.

"It's not embarrassing." I said to him. "To tell you the truth..." I sat on the couch and leaned back, gesturing for Samuel to come and join me. He looked at the space beside me and begrudgingly sat down.

"... I had nightmares too when I first joined the elites" I admitted with a laugh to set a lighter mood. Samuel raised both of his eyebrows and was about to ask, but I continued.

"I was so unsure about everything. When you told me about the ventifios and soul protectors, it all sounded absurd in my head. Then, I was upset that my mom, who was an elite herself, didn't tell me anything. With all that mixing in my head, I had a nightmare where all of you said I can't contribute anything to the group. But I'm still here, Aren't I?"

I hoped Samuel knew what I was trying to say and what I was doing. Since I intruded in his personal life, I figured I should exchange something in return to make it seem he wasn't alone, that these bad dreams were normal if you had mixed up feelings.

"What I'm trying to say is..." I turned to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "... It takes time to accept things that brought change to you. Everything around you could be seen in a new perspective, and emotions that you haven't felt before could emerge greatly. It's okay, Samuel. It's okay to be scared, it's okay to be confused, it's okay to need a little more time. It's all fine. No one blames you for it. You may be a captain, but you're still human, it's not an embarrassment to feel devastated, helpless, or sad sometimes."

Silence dawned upon us. I searched for any reaction from Samuel, but he only seemed to be staring at me. At this point, I wondered if I took it too far.

I panicked when I saw tears pooling in Samuel's eyes and it all came bursting out.

Author's note = (Yes, Matthew's second first name is Alexandre. I apologize for not informing you of this in the earlier chapters. At least I have now. Please forgive this first-time author, I'm trying my best. Also, I might do the same with the others.)