Chapter twenty five Painful Sunday

My stomach growled as I pulled my white Prado land cruiser 4wd into the driveway on Monday afternoon. I spend three hours in a medical seminar, two assisting in the OR and the other two catching up on some work so I hadn't gotten a chance to eat lunch, or maybe I just hadn't felt like eating.

Spending time with Janice on Wednesday night was refreshing; it felt good talking about my job to someone who was genuinely interested in what I do and believes it or not, we didn't realize that we had fallen asleep beside each other until about four the next morning when Faith's cries woke us up.

Thursday afternoon I used my lunchtime to go buy a cell phone for her, why? No idea, I just felt like it. When I gave it to her that night it was obvious to see that she was extremely fascinated with the device but then she put it on the bed and began shaking her head, saying that it looks very expensive and that she couldn't accept it.

I told her that she needed a phone so she could keep in touch with me or Miss Alice in case of emergency and after much thought she finally accepted it; with shaking grateful fingers she lifts the device from the bed and whisper the most heartwarming 'thank you,' I have ever heard in my life.

Trust me I'm not exaggerating, she was grateful, very much so, and I was glad I thought of it. We then put the numbers of everyone we could think of, immediate family of course into it and then prank call them until Caleb almost kick my ass but it was fun. A word I don't use often anymore, thanks to Kayla.

Friday and Saturday I was up to my neck in work and studying and even though I was dreading Sunday which unfortunately for me was supposed to be my wedding day Janice still managed to make me smile by sitting across from me, I at the time had a massive medical book opened in front of me and she was looking at me as if I was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen, which made it hard for me to concentrate, also made me laugh a few times.

Then came Sunday, the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, was now my worst nightmare and a painful one at that. Whoever heard of a painful nightmare? Pain like you wouldn't believe and even though I have buried myself in work since this morning the pain hadn't dulled a notch, if anything it had intensified by a couple thousand, yeah, it was that bad.

Sighing heavily I stepped from the vehicle and checked my watch and saw that it was almost four o clock. I was about to head inside when I heard Fabian calling me from across the lawn. "Hey bro, wait up." He said running towards me.

"What's up Fabian?" I ask leaning against my vehicle. "How're you feeling today bro?" He asks. "Worst than yesterday," I replied in a dry tone. "Want to talk about it?" He asks. "Not at the moment, no." I took a deep shuddering breath and he put his arms around me. "Just know that we're all here for you whenever you're ready bro." "Thanks." Was all the tightness in my throat would allow me to say.

"By the way, I got a call from Jason Thursday night, seems he and Jess are worried about you. He said you've been rushing out of there every evening, so I take it you haven't told them about Janice?" "No, not yet." "Don't you trust them?"

"Of course I do, it's just that in all honesty Kayla did learn about my plans from them because they wouldn't stop talking about it, and the fact that there's someone out there looking for Janice to harm her and her child makes me think that the fewer people that know about her the better." "Oh, well I guess that makes sense, alright then bro, I'll see you later, hang in there alright." "Will do."

A few minutes later I entered the living room and saw Janice sitting on the sofa with Faith in her arms, how I wish she was Kayla, sitting there cuddling my baby with the same tenderness that Janice was showing her child. I was so close to having everything I ever wanted.

I had the job, the stability, and the girl and at one point I was even expecting the baby until Kayla had a miscarriage and my dream of being a father came to an abrupt end, and even then I had managed to hold on to the dreams that remain with the hope of one day becoming a father, and up until a few days ago, I had thought that my dream was once again a reality but again I was wrong.

I didn't realize that I was still standing in the same spot with tears running down my face until I felt her hands on my shoulder. "You do know that the advice you gave me goes both ways right?" She said softly. "I heard that yesterday was supposed to be your wedding day." She said rubbing my shoulder. "As you told me, I know it hurts but I'm here for you if you need to talk." She smiles.

"Thank you," I said wiping my eyes and forcing a weak smile as I played with Faith's little fingers. "It's nice to see you up and about, how are you feeling?" "Much better thank you, I was just watching your mom bake." She said with a shy smile. "That's great, so how is my little muffin?"

"She's doing okay, she gained two pounds." "Oh really? That's wonderful little one." I smile kissing her little fingers. "Alright, I need to eat something before I fall over, would you like to join me?" I ask heading towards the kitchen. "Sure." She answered following me.

Later that evening I was lying on my back with my hands behind my head looking up at the ceiling. I was supposed to be married right now and on my honeymoon, but no….once again everything I had hoped and prayed for was gone.

I had explained everything to the chief of staff and he had then asked if I was okay to work tonight and I said yes. I was deep in thought when someone knocked on my door. A smile creased my lips as I pictured Janice standing there with an excited look on her face as she wait to grill me more about my work.

For five years I had been trying to get Kayla interested in my work and it didn't happen, except for when she was pretending but that didn't count, yet again, here was this complete stranger who was so interested and excited about my job that she practically ambushed me with questions every chance she got.

Turning the knob I opened the door and was surprised and a bit disappointed to see Miss Alice standing there. "Hi, Miss Alice, what's up?" I ask masking my disappointment. "Sorry to disturb you but can I have a word with you?" "Sure," I said stepping aside and gesturing for her to come in. "Okay so it's like this, I know that I'm currently working for you during the days but I was wondering what's going to happen now that you're on night shift again?"

"Yeah, I haven't gotten a chance to work that out yet but it's not like I can ask you to work at night too." "Fair enough but she's still going to need a little help during the night." "That's true, she isn't fully recovered yet, do you have any suggestions?" I ask putting some notes in my bag.

"She smiled as she took a seat on the sofa. "As a matter of fact, I do. You see, I've been talking to Miss Mona and I think we may have come up with something." She said scratching her head. "Now, Miss Mona's workload is very heavy at the moment so we were thinking that I could wash, clean and iron for you, Miss Janice, and Faith and also help her with the housework when Miss Janice and little Faith is resting so she can go help Mrs. Mellissa in the kitchen and then she could look in on Miss Janice in the night while you're at work." She said taking a deep breath.

"I've already spoken to your mom and she said that as long as it's okay with you she would love the help, so what do you think?" She asks. "Sounds good to me, and Janice did mention that she was thinking of offering to help mom with the baking when Faith is asleep," I replied with a smile.

"Great so we'll make it work and she'll still have someone looking out for her at all times." She said. "And now that we've solved that problem, how're you holding up?" She asks. Sighing heavily I sat next to her and run my hands over my face.

"Not very well, I mean everyone keeps telling me that I'll get over what she did eventually but to be honest, I don't think I'll ever get over her or what she did to me." "Well I'm one of them that say you will, it's just going to take time that's all." She assures me.

"Just lean on Jesus." "I'm trying but I don't think he likes me very much right now, I mean I did turn my back on him to be with Kayla." "Then I guess you should be glad he doesn't hold grudges. All he needs is for you to say you're sorry and come back to him before it's too late." She said patting my shoulder.

Thank you all for reading

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Food for thought

The highest kind of giving comes

From the bottom of the heart.

God loves a cheerful giver

2Cor 9:7