At the very least.

I fell silent, trying to process the current situation. Now that I've thought about it, my earlier idea about giving my darling a surprise could actually backfire horribly in so many different ways.

What was even worse was that there was no good way to fix it at this moment. It was a choice between two lesser evils. I could either stick with playing dumb or tell her the truth right now and hope she won't think it's an excuse.

Fuck.

"I understand it's a lot to take in, darling." It seemed like Helen misunderstood the reason for my silence.

"Helen," I started talking, only to draw a complete blank on how I should proceed.

I watched as her smile slowly faded away.

"Just, at the very least, give me a chance before disappearing, please?" There was a desperate plea in her voice.

I took a step toward her, hugging her from behind and putting my head on top of hers. I could feel her shivering like a leaf. Ugh, I guess my track record was bad enough, and she was actually afraid of me deciding to run away again.

I kissed the top of her head, enjoying the smell of her shampoo. And trying to buy myself some time to think.

Well, since there was no good way forward anyway, let's just stick with the truth once again. It has actually worked so far.

I took a Kouzuki clan seal out of my pocket and brought it before her eyes.

"You know what this is, right?" I asked her.

In the mirror, I saw her eyes go wide from shock. But she quickly took her emotions under control and slowly nodded.

"Which means that I have some things to explain." I continued.

I got another slow nod in response.

"Well, let me introduce myself again, then." I gave her one of my numbered smiles. It was one of those polite fake ones I've seen the Lady in White use so often in the past. "Kouzuki Shinji, grandson of Kouzuki Maya, the only male member of direct bloodline of the Kouzuki clan, nice to meet you."

I felt the body held in my arms stiffen a bit.

"As well as Long Tian. Son of Long Chen. Grandson of Long Hào and Kouzuki Miya. At your service." The smile on my face changed its number to the cold and regal one from Lady in Black's repertoire.

Helen froze completely. I just hoped she would give me the chance to explain before overthinking it too much.

"And you're only telling it to me now because?" The Smith family's heiress' voice was ice-cold.

"Because of what I just heard from you. And I decided that keeping it from you any longer could lead to even worse misunderstanding on your part." I replied in a level tone.

"Oh, and what can I possibly have misunderstood here?" A bit of heat... A lot of heat slipped into Helen's words.

"Well, the worst-case scenario should be something like everything that happened today being a part of some sort of scheme, including using Claire." With how her eyes flickered after hearing my words, I understood that I hit the bullseye. "Well, the actual worst-case scenario would be me lying to you from the very beginning."

"And it is not?" She asked with a hint of challenge in her voice.

"Of course not." I shook my head. "I would be ashamed if it was. There are too many holes and ways for it to backfire. Hell, it already did."

I felt her body relax a bit.

"I guess the proposal wasn't your idea either, then?" I expected this question.

"No, this was actually a part of my plan." I answered with the truth.

"Huh?" Clearly, she wasn't expecting me to say this. "Explain."

I felt Helen relax completely into my embrace.

"Yes, darling." I smiled. No numbers attached.

***

I told her the rest of the story I skipped earlier in the café, starting with getting my hands on the diary of Long Chen and all the way to the meeting with Long Hào yesterday.

Time shenanigans, obviously, were still left out of it all.

"So, our meeting was a real coincidence?" Helen asked.

"Yes." I nodded.

"And you just so happened to meet Claire?" She continued her questioning.

"Yes." This was the truth, anyway. After a moment to think, I decided to add, "To tell you the truth, I had a hunch her 'pretty friend' could be you. But it would require too much of a logical leap to take seriously."

"Huh." Was her only reaction to my words. "And why haven't you told me this right away?"

I looked to the side.

"I thought it would be amusing to see your surprised face." I still thought it would be fun.

Instead of answering me, my darling just rolled her eyes and let out a long, defeated sigh.

For a couple of minutes, we both kept silent.

"I guess you told your grandparents about this arrangement of yours?" Yet another question.

"Yep." And yet another answer.

"Really?" Helen did sound a bit surprised.

"Yes." I repeated myself.

"And what was their reaction?" There was a lot of curiosity in her words.

"You have two clans worth of direct bloodlines to repopulate." I quoted the Lady in White.

And another bout of silence followed.

"Three." Helen corrected me. "You have three clans worth."

I put some thought into how I wanted to reply.

"Three it is then," I shrugged. "But let's wait a few years first."

"Why?" As usual, another one of those.

"Because I want to see what comes out of this arrangement first, and having kids will complicate everything to a whole new level." This was the rationale behind my words.

"I see." I could feel that my darling wasn't entirely happy with my answer.

Well, since my rationale wasn't enough, let's add some of my feelings.

"Helen. If having my kid will make you happier, fuck it, let's do it. Today. Tomorrow. Any day. I know you will be able to take care of him or her." I said, staring into Helen's eyes through the mirror image. "But I am not ready. I am a mess."

And it wasn't an excuse. I could tell her about almost ending it all two weeks ago. Or being ready to die a week ago. How about almost killing that guy yesterday?

But why would I?

"At the very least, I want to be able to tell my kid that I love their mother."