Facing the past

After leaving Sarah's place, Alex led me back into the house, but we were heading in the opposite direction from his usual route.

"Hmm, where are we going?" I asked him, curiosity piqued.

"Well, I figured it was time you meet the pack as their Luna and queen," he replied casually. But as soon as the words left his mouth, I froze in my tracks, realizing what that meant. I would be expected to shift and go for a run with the pack.

I looked at him, panic rising within me. I didn't know how to explain that this was a horrible idea, and I couldn't put anyone in danger.

"I can't. I'm sorry, but I really can't do this," I said, starting to pull my hand away from his. My eyes darted everywhere but to his face.

"What's wrong, baby? What do you mean you can't? If it's about last night..." he trailed off, concern etched in his voice.

"God, no, it's not about last night or anything like that. I just can't. Please, I'll explain to you, okay? But not here. Can we maybe go back to the room, and I'll explain? Please?" I pleaded, fearing his rejection.

To my relief, he took my hand and nodded, leading the way back to his part of the house.

As we walked back towards Alex's part of the house, my mind raced with thoughts of how to explain my reluctance to shift and run with the pack. I knew I had to tell him the truth, but I dreaded the possibility of disappointing him.

Once we were back in his room, I took a deep breath, gathering the courage to share my concerns with him. "Alex, I... I need to tell you something," I began hesitantly, my voice barely above a whisper.

He turned to me, his eyes filled with concern. "What is it, Mia? You know you can tell me anything."

I took a moment to compose myself before speaking again. "I... I haven't shifted in fifteen years," I admitted, my voice trembling with emotion. "After what happened that night... I was afraid. Afraid of hurting someone, of losing control."

Alex's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. "Mia, I had no idea. I'm so sorry for pushing you into something you're not ready for."

I shook my head, feeling guilty for keeping this part of myself hidden from him. "No, it's not your fault. I should have told you sooner. But I didn't want to disappoint you."

Alex reached out, gently cupping my face in his hands. "Mia, you could never disappoint me. Your safety and well-being are far more important to me than anything else. We'll take things at your pace, okay? There's no rush."

I felt a wave of relief wash over me at his words, grateful for his understanding and support. "Thank you, Alex," I whispered, leaning into his touch. "I promise I'll try to work through this, for you and for us."

He pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. "That's all I ask, Mia. We'll face this together, every step of the way."

As we held each other close, I felt a newfound sense of trust and solidarity between us. With Alex by my side, I knew that I could overcome any obstacle, no matter how daunting it may seem.

Alex's brows furrowed in concern as he processed my revelation. "But Mia, how come fifteen years? Aren't you twenty-five?"

I nodded, swallowing

hard against the lump forming in my throat. "Yes, I am. But it's a long story," I began, my voice faltering slightly as I recalled the painful memories.

Taking a deep breath, I continued, "I shifted for the first time when I was ten years old, much earlier than usual. It was a few years before I was supposed to, even for a Lycan wolf."

Alex's eyes widened in surprise, but he remained silent, encouraging me to go on.

"I was out playing in the woods near my family's home when it happened," I recounted, the memories flooding back with vivid clarity. "I remember feeling this overwhelming surge of power coursing through me, like nothing I had ever experienced before. And then... everything went wrong."

I paused, my throat tightening with emotion, before forging ahead. "My shift spiraled out of control, and I lost all sense of myself. It was like I was trapped in this primal state, unable to distinguish friend from foe. By the time I regained control, the damage had been done."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I recalled the devastation that followed. "The forest was in ruins, and there were... casualties. Innocent people caught in the crossfire of my uncontrollable shift."

As I continued to recount the events of that fateful day, the memories weighed heavy on my heart, each word an agonizing reminder of the pain and destruction I had caused.

"My parents were there," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper as tears streamed down my cheeks. "They tried to calm me down, to bring me back to myself. But I was beyond reach, lost in a primal frenzy."

The image of my parents, their faces etched with fear and desperation as they tried in vain to stop me, flashed before my eyes. I could still hear their anguished cries, their voices pleading for me to come back to them.

"I... I hurt them," I choked out, the words catching in my throat as the weight of my actions bore down on me. "Physically and emotionally. I... I never forgave myself for that."

Alex's embrace tightened around me, his presence a source of comfort in the midst of my pain. "Mia, it wasn't your fault," he murmured, his voice filled with empathy. "You were just a child, overwhelmed by a power you couldn't control."

I shook my head, the guilt eating away at me from the inside out. "But I made a promise to my mom," I confessed, my voice trembling with emotion

Alex's expression softened with empathy, his hand reaching out to gently squeeze mine in reassurance. "Mia, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must have gone through."

I nodded, grateful for his understanding. "After that day, I swore to my mom that I would never shift again, that I would never put anyone else in danger. But it's been a constant struggle, living with the fear and guilt. Till I found my mate whom will help me gain control." 

Alex pulled me into a comforting embrace, holding me close as I let the tears flow freely. "You don't have to face this alone, Mia. I'm here for you, every step of the way."

Feeling a sense of relief wash over me, I clung to him, grateful for his unwavering support. With Alex by my side, I knew that I could finally confront my fears and begin to heal from the wounds of the past.

As we held each other in the quiet sanctuary of his room, I felt a glimmer of hope stirring within me. No matter what challenges lay ahead, I knew that together, we could overcome them.