Only Human

On October 31, 64 RE, a beautiful baby was born with hair as dark as coal and eyes brighter than the moonlight. This little girl brought immense joy and happiness to her little family. As soon as they saw her small silver eyes they were enchanted, they fell in love.

`I want to protect this light.` That's what her mother thought. She looked into eyes almost identical to hers, but much brighter, with tenderness and love.

To her immense dismay the years passed in the blink of an eye and her little light, her petal, grew with the same speed as a comet crosses the sky- Well, that was her perspective as a very protective and loving mom.

Her daughter seemed to run before she could walk, and with each new milestone she felt a sliver of terror in her heart. The day when her petal would turn into a rose seemed just around the corner, and oh how she feared that day.

Well, at least Summer Rose won't have to face that reality for a while since her daughter only learned to tie her shoes a few weeks ago.

"My sweet petal," Summer said, drawing the attention of her four-year-old daughter. "Don't you want to go outside and play? The day is beautiful today."

Ruby looked up from the picture she was drawing, something Summer thought was her fighting some mysterious being but she wasn't sure since her cloak isn't crimson and she definitely doesn't use a gigantic scythe as her weapon. The figure is wearing something similar to a skirt so it can't be Qrow, before she can continue unraveling the mysteries of that drawing a small figure crashed into her legs.

"Mommy!" Ruby jumped into her lap. "I still have to finish my drawing."

"Oh?" Summer looked back at the drawing. "Who is that mysterious red figure?"

"It's me!" Ruby said proudly puffing out her chest. "I'm the hero fighting the bad guys and saving the world!"

Summer laughs and strokes her daughter's hair, brushing a strand away from her face.

"So my little petal wants to be a hero?"

Rubi nodded her head effusively, a huge bright smile adorning her small face.

"Yes! Like in the stories that you and Yang read to me!"

"Is that so?"

"Umu!" Rubi nodded again. "Yes! I'll be a hero and defeat all the bad guys!" She waved her hands wildly imitating the movements she saw her dad make as he sparred with her mom.

"Careful, petal." Summer moves before her daughter's small hands poke her in the eye. "You don't want to hit your poor mom, do you?"

"Sorry, mommy." Her big silver eyes shine with regret, and Summer sees the image of a sad puppy in her mind.

`She is too cute!` Biting back the urge to squash her daughter in her arms she clears her throat and continues with the topic of conversation.

"Defeating the bad guys isn't bad," She nods. "But heroes do more than fight villains."

Ruby looks at her curiously, her previous sadness forgotten and her eyes shine like little stars- No, like silver suns (from her mom's perspective). Summer strokes her hair and smiles lovingly at her.

"Heroes do more than fight bad guys. They are defenders of the weak and defenseless-"

"But isn't that the same thing?" Ruby interrupts her. " I will fight the bad guys so they can't hurt the weak." Explain the child.

"Not completely, petal." Summer is not at all bothered by the interruption and continues to speak with seemingly endless patience. "Hmmm, let's use this example, imagine the following: You are the great hero who protects Vale, one day a supervillain attacks a nursing home. You go and fight the villain but he runs away realizing that you are stronger. What do you do in that situation?"

"Chase him down and kick his ass!" Ruby answers enthusiastically.

Summer chuckles and makes a mental note to talk with Tai and Qrow, she wants to know who taught her little petal that vocabulary. One thing motherhood taught her is that when you want your child not to use certain words to appear mad or annoyed only adds fuel to the fire, it is best to deal with it patiently and calmly. And she will do it after talking with Tai and Qrow, because it's useless to cut the leaves of the weed if you don't uproot the roots.

"But then who will stay to protect the poor and defenseless elders?"

"Uh-" Ruby frowns and looks at her mom in conflict. "My sidekick!" She answers after thinking about it for a moment.

Summer laughs and kisses her forehead.

"But what if your sidekick isn't there?" Ruby has no answer to that. "Sometimes a hero has to let the bad guy escape to protect the weak and defenseless. You can chase the villain another day, but if you leave the elders alone, something bad could happen and there will be no one to protect them."

"But if I don't catch the villain he'll keep doing bad things!" Ruby responds, Summer opens her eyes surprised because she did not expect that answer, Ruby's argument is very logical and solid but before she can continue thinking about it Ruby continues talking: "Like- like stealing cookies and- and crossing the street when the light is red."

Summer chuckled and shook her head.

"Stealing cookies is the worst crime you can think of?" Ruby pouts and crosses her arms.

"It's a serious crime! Uncle Qrow stole the last cookie and-" Ruby began to babble about his uncle`s horrible crime and Summer continued to look at her with a soft smile full of tenderness.

"My bad, please, great hero, forgive my error."

"Error?" Ruby looks at her confused.

"It means mistake."

"Ah, ehem- I, the Crimson Avenger, will forgive you." Ruby speaks with a tone of false seriousness and pomposity. "What else heroes do, mommy?" The previous tone is replaced by a happy and enthusiastic one almost immediately.

"Many things, petal. Heroes guide those who have lost their path, they inspire people to be better, and most important of all: A hero always does the right thing. Sometimes doing that is hard, almost impossible, but a hero never stops trying."

Summer was silent for a moment, she lost herself in her own memories with a wistful expression.

"A hero's job is hard, Ruby. Sometimes they have to make decisions they don't want to make." Summer's tone drops to a whisper. "Sometimes she has no choice, sometimes-"

***

"A hero guides others. A hero inspires people. A hero never stops trying." Ruby's words are a whisper that is lost in the night.

Around her her team and Jaune are sleeping comfortably, Yang's snoring reminds her of Bumblebee's engine, Blake's breathing slow and deep with a little snort here and there. The only ones who seem to have somewhat restless sleep are Jaune and Weiss, and even they are deeply lost in dreamland.

As for Ruby, she couldn't keep closing her eyes since she lay down on the blanket in front of the window.

The night in this fantasy realm does not have a fraction of the beauty of the nights in Remnant. Here the stars look like flickering candles and not like distant but captivating colorful lanterns. The absence of the broken moon, with its many rocks scattered around it, feels wrong. Seeing the night sky and not seeing the familiar silvery glow, Ruby feels a heaviness in her stomach, as if a safety rope had been snapped.

For as long as she can remember, moonlight has always felt comforting, like the hug of a lost loved one. Its silver glow illuminated the night sky and drove away nightmares and the darkness that always seems to want to engulf her. And at this moment, in this world, that consolation that accompanied her all her life is absent.

Another cruelty.

Another of countless.

`I wish you would have told me how hard it is to be a hero.` Memories of a long gone woman fade and a crimson glow draws her attention.

Crescent Rose.

Her sweetheart.

Her beloved.

Her most loyal and constant companion.

Crescent Rose remains in that chest collecting dust, if that is even possible in this world of fairy tales.

She remembers a time when she couldn't stay away from her beloved even to bathe or use the toilet, a time when she slept with her nestled in her arms.

Now she can hardly look at her.

She blinks and can feel the phantom feel of the Crescent Rose in her hands, the sensation of metal against her fingertips, the comforting, familiar coldness, the weight that acted as her anchor. Ruby still remembers the process of building her as if it had happened last week. She remembers the endless hours designing a thousand prototypes, choosing the alloys, and then the days in the forge. She remembers her frustration when, after days of hard work, her weapon jammed in the middle of a transformation. She also remembers the euphoria when she finally finished the final product.

It was worth it.

Crescent Rose was not a hunk of metal at the time. No, she was an extension of her soul. All of her dreams and aspirations, her joy and excitement, her fears and insecurities, Ruby Rose poured all of her soul into creating her best companion.

Now, the companion who was always by her side, comforting her, reassuring her, feels like she's looking at her accusingly. Not literally, weapons don't have eyes, but in Ruby's mind she feels like Crescent Rose is judging her, accusing her of a thousand crimes.

You are not worthy, you are not good enough, you failed. That's what she's telling her and Ruby whimpers weakly, hiding her face in her hands.

Those thoughts do not leave her mind, those doubts and fears, that insecurity eats her like a vermin. Is it true? Is she worthy of Crescent Rose? Of the weapon that was designed for a hero? Is she still a hero?

Heroes don't fail.

Heroes don't give up.

Heroes don't lose hope.

Heroes don't fail.

Heroes don't give up.

Heroes don't lose hope.

Heroes don't fail.

Heroes don't give up.

Heroes don't lose hope.

`Penny, Pyrrha, Atlas, Penny, Penny, Pyrrha, Atlas, Penny. Mom-`

All her plans collapsed like sand castles hit by a wave. Her hopes faded like candlelight. And-

`Shut up!` Ruby clenches her fists. She rolls onto her back and continues to clench her fists until her nails dig into her flesh, the gloves are the only barrier keeping her nails from piercing the tender flesh. She has, no- she needs to feel something. Something other than that immense weight that is crushing her. Something that binds her to this body, to this life.

Ruby feels like she is a balloon held by a frail and frayed rope, a rope that could snap at any moment and when- When. Not if, but when. Then-

She grits her teeth, and the sound is drowned out by Yang's snores, Blake's deep breaths, and Weiss's sighs.

`Stop thinking about it! You are the leader. You have to be strong, you are the central pillar, you cannot break!`

She is the leader.

At fifteen the weight of three lives was placed on her shoulders. And then those of millions-

("You... have silver eyes...")

'...Of what good were they?'

("So you want to come to my school?... Well, okay.")

`No`

("-lead by Ruby Rose!")

`... I never wanted it`

("Ruby. I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them. Do you?")

`Yes`

("Being a team leader isn't just a title you carry into battle, but a badge you wear constantly. If you are not always performing at your absolute best, then what reason do you give others to follow you?")

`I don't want them to follow me, I never wanted it. ANY of this!`

("You've been burdened with a daunting responsibility, Ruby. I advise you take some time to think about how you will uphold it.")

`... Why me? I- I just wanted to be a her- a huntress.`

Why did she HAVE to be the leader? Why not Weiss? Or Blake? Or Yang?

She was only fifteen years old! She barely had the courage to stand up straight in front of her classmates when she introduced herself. She did not want to lead!

`STOP! Stop thinking about that!' Ruby bites her bottom lip to stifle a groan.

She- she's so tired.

`Why didn't you tell me the truth, mom? That heroes are like a fountain, a fountain that everyone turns to in their time of need for help and guidance. They take and take and take until there is nothing left. And then when the fountain is empty they demand more. I- I don't have anything else left to give, not to them nor myself.`

Ruby hears the sound of a metal hand hitting the ground and knows that Yang has changed position. She turns her head and sees her sister lying on her back, one hand caressing her abs while the other is lying on the floor. Yang is fast asleep, lost in a peaceful and carefree dream judging by her easy smile.

Yang's snoring doesn't even seem to disturb Blake's sleep, whose cat ears twitch lazily and she sighs in her sleep. Even Weiss seems oblivious to the sounds around her, and Jaune… He keeps muttering something in his sleep seeming to be a world away.

`How can they sleep so peacefully when-` She turns on her side and bites her lip again, stopping the thoughts.

A growl claws at the back of her throat and it's painful to suppress it. It's painful to see them so carefree, so oblivious to her pain.

The crimson glow of Crescent Rose again draws her gaze and as soon as she sets eyes on her weapon the dam in her heart cracks a bit more allowing something to leak out.

How can they sleep so peacefully?

How can they ignore her pain?

How can her sister ignore that she is breaking?

How can they think she's okay?

Why doesn't anyone care about her?

Why didn't anyone notice her fake smiles?

Her forced laugh?

She struggling to play her part

She- she. She is just- She is only human.

She bleeds when she falls, but no one notices the blood. The crimson cloak camouflages the blood and no one bothers to look beyond it.

She can't hold the weight of the world anymore, not alone.

Always alone.

Alone.

`Stop thinking! What's wrong with you?!?' Ruby bites the inside of her cheek. `You are the leader, not them. You have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, not them. You can't crash! You can't break down!`

`You need to be stronger!`

Memories of Mercury Black getting in her way flicker behind her eyelids.

`Faster!`

The arrow pierces her heart, Cinder touching her cheek and her body fading into crimson embers.

`Better!`

Ruby feels her teeth pierce the flesh and the taste of copper fills her mouth. She swallows hard and activates her aura, closing the wound almost instantly. She swallows again, wincing at the metallic taste.

Huffing, she looks out the window again, this time ignoring Crescent Rose's glow. She knows that nothing good will come from looking at her weapon, at her past.

`I don't want to be a hero anymore.`