He Who Followed the Footprints (2)

'Maybe I need to change a little.'

I try doll up. I need to hide these freckles, this big zit on my cheek, and basically every aspect in my face. Mother's makeup desk doesn't help me. It has tons of items I don't recognize, other than lipstick and umm… powder? Face powder? And why do I need to use brush for this liquid lipstick?

I see Joseph waiting for someone near the main gate. I pass him without saying anything, and maybe he waits for someone, a girl maybe. She must be a lucky girl. I—I mean, she must be lucky to be acquaintances with him. He is smart and funny after all. Though, I'm not sure, why doesn't he get famous for his quirkiness and his brain. Even if he is an average Joe, doesn't mean that he don't stand out. He totally stands out, compared to those boys around me. Those ugly bitches are chasing over the wrong jocks. Brain jocks are definitely sexier.

"Andra," Joseph calls me and draws near my back. Wait, he waits for me?

He walks with me in the corridor. No one really cares though, except me. I care about him walking beside me. He uses other neat clothes, but not like the preps. He also uses the same perfume he had before. It makes me dizzy in a good way.

"I haven't seen Diana, she'll be late," Says Joseph.

"Yeah…" I say lazily. Diana might be overslept or just plain lazy to go to school. Especially after yesterday accident, I'll bury myself in the bunker for a thousand years. And seriously, why doesn't Joseph realize my lips? I put sweet pink lipstick on it.

Why am I even thinking about impressing him? I said to myself that I shouldn't go further, and I break it in less than 24 hours. And why does my inside turn upside down when he's around. My face gets hot when I'm near him, why am I not angry with everyone in my period? It's confusing for someone like me.

I won't say a thing until he notices my new look. I know, it is only a thin lipstick, but I tried so hard to put it in. I failed many times because I couldn't apply the lipstick perfectly in line, it is either too bold or too messy. I should ask mother for guidance.

Joseph is clueless. He glances at me few times but said nothing. Oh c'mon, just say that I'm beautiful, like what you said before. Should I ask him directly, just to make him confess? Ugh, it's really frustrating, what should I do? I never feel anything like this before. Mother never teaches me how to handle this kind of situation, neither does my common sense work.

Diana attends the class thirty minutes after the class began. She acts like there is nothing happened. Luckily, the old Mr. Watter doesn't mind. Well, maybe he doesn't care at all. His old age is the thing he should be worried about.

Diana sits besides me. She drops her face flat, still embarrassed about the yesterday's accident. Oh, that gross pukes become viral in no minute. A student uploads it to Youtube, and it is a laughing stock for all of us. I pity her, yet I still laugh and replaying the video for ten times straight. Sorry, Diana, your misfortune is so ridiculously funny.

Joseph? Well, he is still the lesser version of an average Joe that no one cares about. But he catches my interest with his quirkiness, his cool and composed behavior, and his kindness. I think if we have this kind of feeling, even a pile of shit would look like a bar of chocolate.

Diana refused to go to the cafeteria. I follow her to the schoolyard. I don't eat anything except bread and cola with straw. I'm afraid another kind of greasy food might destroy my barely visible lipstick. While Joseph doesn't seem to notice the glossy look of the lipstick, Diana notices it clearly. She squints at me. She then touches my face and lips with her greasy thumb.

"Andra, you are kidding, right?" she asks.

"What?"

"You cheap hoe!" she jeers. "Oh please, you must be harder than this, I haven't do anything, and you're this easy?!"

"Huh?"

"Don't say that you fuck him already?!"

"Seriously Diana, what the fuck are you talking about?" peeved, I try to stop her from saying another ridiculous thing.

"Why do you use glossy pink lipstick that you can't even use, and foundation to cover your freckles? Seriously? Oh god, luckily, no one recognize your bad makeup. You look like an amateur Pennywise!" she says. "You're trying to impress Joseph, right? Oh my, just wash it, wash your face and all of that messy shit in your face!"

I'm more surprised when she knows that I try to impress Joseph. I go to the toilet, looking at myself in the mirror. I see nothing wrong with me, my… what's that again? foundation? It is still fine on my cheekbone. My glossy lipstick is splendid. It's sparkling and sensual. I notice mother uses this lipstick on some occasion, and she looks stunning. But I do what Diana asks for since she is much womanly than me.

I approach Diana without any makeup attached to my face. I admit it feels refreshing, though. It feels like there is a huge brick has been lifted from my face. Diana analyzes my face as if there is a strange stuff in it. She takes a deep breath.

"You like Joseph, right?" she asks. At first, I want to dodge that word, but I think she knows it already, there is no point of hiding something so ridiculous, right?

I answer it with a simple nod.

"You're fine like this," she points at my freckles. "This freckles is what good for you. I think you're the only redhead who suits those freckles."

I touch my freckles. I'm not sure why my freckle is considered beautiful, because every single ginger that I met is always ugly with it. Mother and Alska don't have freckles, and they're gorgeous, but me?

"Wait, before we talk more. How can you know that I and Joseph… uh…" I can't say it, my mind went blank if I think about it. Usually, I'm the one who glares at Diana, but now I feel weak when I see her very sharp eyes.

"See, you answered it by your gesture," she says. "You're totally new to this, right? Such a cute little kid you're."

"I'm not!" I exclaim, which just embarrasses me more.

"Another reason? You act like a sixth grader," she raises one eyebrow, making a smug face and eat his croissant in the fanciest way possible. It's annoying, of course. But she is right. I'm new to this kind of feeling. Mother never teaches me, nor I have any life experience other than crawling fear and baggy eyes.

"Fine," I say. "I am… uh… interested…"

"Okay, you're totally in love," she proclaims. "You're fidgeting like a wet whore."

"What? I'm fucking not!" I shout again. I don't realize what I just did. My mind flies into a strange land of red-pink warm cotton candy when I think of him. Diana raises one eyebrow again, taunting me to tell the truth. "Fine, fine! I'm in love with him! Are you satisfied!?"

"Very." She replies. She then takes a donut with sprinkles on it. "Now, this plain donut is you, and the sprinkles is your freckles." She says, while her finger dancing around the donut, I'm concentrating on the donut. "Now, if you wash all the sprinkles, will it be tasty? Will it be beautiful like this perfectly colorful donut?"

"Nu-uh," I answer. It sounds so ridiculous, but I still try to scavenge any meaning on it.

"So are you! If you remove those freckles, you'll be a plain Jane. Well, pretty, but still a plain Jane on the side of the road," she explains. I don't understand why she needs to explain it with a donut, but I understand what her explanation.

"Now, what you need to do is be like this," a flash blinded my eyes for a second. Diana shows the photo she just took. I see an ugly me, closing my eyes due to the flash of the camera. "You need to be like this woman, be like you," she smiles. Suddenly, the dumb Diana transformed such an archangel for me, god gifts for the broken.

I hug her. I hug someone. This is the feeling of… gratitude and trust, such thing I haven't experienced for years. The sense of sharing the warmth with someone you love. So, this is what they called as a friend. When I don't care about fear and resentment, I think I've fallen in love with Diana, platonic love.

"Thanks," earnest, yes, I earnestly thanked her.

"Of course, Andra. You're my very first friend after all," Says Diana. I give a small nod, validating her word. "Now, we need to go back. Mrs. Irine won't think twice to give us a C," she grabs all her donut box and throws it into the trashcan. We meet Joseph near the class entrance, and I'm sure that my face is red right now.

"Hi…" Joseph greets awkwardly. I smile a little, but I think my smile looks creepy.

"Ah, good timing," Says Diana. "Joseph, can you drive Andra home? I have a busy schedule," she asks. I immediately glare at her, but she winks to me. Says Joseph yes, highly expected from him.

Diana mocking smile makes me feel betrayed after I called her an archangel. I should've known how sinister she is. "Don't forget to kiss him," she whispers. It gives me swarming chill all over my body.

****

I hop to the scooter I used yesterday. Joseph gives me a spare helmet, and we drive through the road we passed yesterday. The breeze of dusk tickles my cheek. Joseph's long-lasting perfume entices me. I don't mind staying like this for a while.

"Andra," Joseph calls me with his eyes still on the road.

"Yes?"

"You're pretty," he says. "But, I like you without makeup."

"…."

"The first time I saw you, I was bewildered," he keeps flattering me. "I thought a beautiful girl like you must have a boyfriend already. That's why I ask Diana to help me," Joseph slows the scooter down.

'OH MY GOD, HE CALLED ME BEAUTIFUL FOR THE THIRD TIMES AND HE THOUGHT I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND, OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD!'

"Oh…" I reply shortly. Even though, my mind already explodes with thousand red-pink balloons in it.

"Maybe we still need time, but I beg you, wait for me."

'O-FUCKING-KAY! YES, I MEAN, ONE-FUCKING-THOUSAND YES!' I smile brightly.

"Hmm…" that's the only thing that I can utter though.

Joseph stops his scooter near the entrance, the same spot he drops me before. He smiles at me. "I'm going, take care."

I watch his scooter drive off from my sight. My heart is beating with the tune of joy. The warmth of his body is still with me, and my mind is trying to trick me, refusing to let his smell, his words, and this memory go away.

This is what they called as love.