Chapter 18

Alex

"What the fuck have you been up to lately?"

I roll my eyes to my friend's voice as I massage my temples with two fingers.

"She's becoming unbearable." - I admit, and I know he will understand who I am referring to.

Clara is really bringing out the worst of me these days. Yesterday she also confessed something that left me speechless.

"She said she wants a fucking wedding!" - I take a disgusted expression, while my gaze gets lost in the void.

"And what's wrong with that?" -he shrugs, while I widen my eyes and raise my chin to look him straight in the eye.

"What the fuck...?!»-the muscles of my neck contract in anger as I try to understand if he is serious, then I continue screaming with a menacing tone of voice:

«I don't want to get married to Clara, and if she really wants to be with me I have to be enough for her as a roommate. I'm like that, and she knew it before she decided to move with me in Australia. »- I spit pissed off.

I don't have to blame him, but lately everyone seems to be on Clara's side.

I don't want to play the role of the husband. I'm not a fucking family guy!

Besides marriage has no value: it's just a signature on a piece of paper and two words in front of a priest.

But at the same time it's something huge: I'm used to avoiding all constraints, I've always felt free because this is the life I like to live.

"You also knew that Clara is a decent girl, one of those who want a husband and not just a roommate to fuck with!" - he finds the courage to reply and makes me get a furious face: if he were someone else, he would now be on the point of going to the hospital.

He sighs, noticing that I avoid answering him: I have always seen Clara as my woman, I have always been jealous of every human being with balls that approach her, but I also always thought that she would accept me like this, that I would be able to convince her to everything, without worrying about the future.

«I didn't mean that.» - I confess after few seconds, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down, and then continue carrying a hand in my hair:

«Fuck, I love her! She fucks my brain every day, but it seems like she's been daydreaming lately.

She wants to change me, to drag me to work parties, she wants me to propose. I feel suffocated and you don't know how much it pisses me off that she doesn't want me for who I am anymore! »- I conclude, and then start breathing again.

He doesn't speak for a while, and all I hear is the sound of my chest, hit by the fast beating of my fucking heart, that seems to want to get out of its place.

"Aren't you afraid of losing it?" - he says in an abstract tone, but those words strike me.

I frown and without thinking twice answer to his question with an obvious tone:

" I won't lose it." - I squeeze the glass of beer tightly between my fingers.

I get chills just thinking about a day without that pain in the ass running around the house with ridiculous pajamas on.

"But I don't know how to make her stop?"-I admit soon after.

"It can't be that bad." - he says so sure that I raise my chin in his direction and reply:

" I've been sleeping on the sofa for two days because of Clara."

«'Cause you don't know how to treat a woman, bro.» - he gives me a pat on my shoulder, with an air of disdain.

"With her that everything works in reverse: if I had known I would never have left America." -I say with an ironic tone of voice, holding a smile while I raise a corner of my mouth at the exact moment when the front door opens and Clara enters with the usual expression of a beaten dog I'm learning to get used to, while avoiding my gaze.

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