Lost Smiles

"Senior brother, this is truly delicious!"

"Haha, there's no need to flatter me like that."

"Not at all! If senior brother were to become an immortal chef, I'd hire you right away!"

"Well then, if I perchance fail as a cultivator, I'll be sure to knock at your door!"

"..."

"..."

"Pftt... Haha!"

"...Hahaha!"

Laughter echoed between us, a cherished memory before the flames consumed that happiness...

...

"Hey, what's up with ya?" Li Hua's voice snapped Tiandi back to reality.

"...What?" Tiandi's voice carried a hint of melancholy that he, himself, was unaware of.

"Are ya... alright?" Li Hua's voice was unusually soft, an unfamiliar tone for Zhou Tiandi.

"What?" Unable to grasp the reason for this change, he asked.

"You..." Her words lingered in the air as her face shifted through complex emotions until she finally broke the silence, "Never mind... It's nothing."

'Weird...'

The meal afterward was oddly quiet...

...

"Oy Tiandi! I'll be going to hunt now, so take care of the house!" Li Hua shouted, as usual.

"You do realize that I'm sitting right in front of your face, right?"

"What do ya mean by that?" She tilted her head in confusion, completely unaware of her own habits.

'So she's not even aware huh?' It had been years since Tiandi had been this baffled... 'Hm... but hunting, huh?'

"Hey, let me go with you." Since he had nothing else to do, he decided to take a walk.

"Huh? Why?"

"I just feel like it."

"..."

"..."

"...Fine!" Li Hua reluctantly accepted his suggestion after a fierce stare-down that lasted for almost a minute, "But change into something easier to move in!"

"Fin-" As he was about to answer, Zhou Tiandi remembered something... Other than the immortal artifact robes that he was wearing currently, all of his articles of clothing were in his sub-space... "...I don't have any other clothes..."

It was embarrassing to admit this, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, but there was little he could do...

"Oh yeah, ya can just use some old clothes from that room." Surprisingly, Li Hua didn't mock or yell at him, calmly pointing towards a certain room.

"..."

Noticing Tiandi's inquisitive stare, Li Hua puffed up her chest and spoke with a smug expression, "Hmph! Ya must be curious as to how I found it out, right?"

"Found out?" Honestly, it was painstakingly obvious... from sleeping amid the snow in simple robes to how his robes were always clean and the snow didn't get them wet...

'Well, at most she'll think of me as a common low realm cultivator... It's about time I continued my journey as well.'

"Ya must be an abandoned young master of some rich family!"

"Indee-" How many years had passed since he made such a mindless response... even if he had partially sealed off his cultivation...

But more surprising than that was the smug-looking woman in front of him, her brunette hair unkempt, hazel eyes gleaming with pride, and lips stretched into a smug grin.

"Hehe~ It seems like ya were really shocked by my genius!"

The scar on her face didn't seem nearly as hideous as the people around him claimed. This was the first time he truly looked at Li Hua, and she became more than just a faceless character in Zhou Tiandi's story...(even if it was due to her stupidity)

...

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...

"That Li Hua..."

"To think she would..."

"Tsk tsk, she has no shame!"

"She is truly..."

As they strolled along the roads, a barrage of barely concealed whispers trailed behind them, most of them directed at Li Hua.

"It seems like you're quite the disliked one, Miss Li." Zhou Tiandi's words carried a playful undertone as if he were attempting to tease Li Hua. However, observing his expression, still as stoic as ever, Li Hua got rid of the thought of him teasing her.

"They just have too much free time!" She was as loud as ever, perhaps even more so, causing the gossipers to hastily avert their gazes.

"Pft..." Tiandi lets out a light laugh looking at the blunt methods of the 'demoness'.

Reasonably irritated, Li Hua grabbed onto Tiandi's collar, yelling, "WHAT?!"

This only elicited a half-grin from her opponent, "Oh no~ The demoness of Dali village is going to kill me~" His words were light and joking and his voice wasn't as rigid as before.

"W-what's the deal with ya?!" Surprised by the sudden change, Li Hua recoiled, putting distance between herself and Tiandi.

Tiandi, however, remained nonchalant, responding, "What do you mean by that?" It was as if there was nothing wrong with his actions.

Li Hua retreated even further, saying, "No No NO! There's definitely something wrong with ya!"

"Well, that's rude." Returning to his usual stone-faced self, Tiandi resumed his leisurely walk.

Li Hua continued to trail him, exclaiming, "Ya hadn't even shown a frown on that face of ya's and now suddenly you're smiling! There's definitely something wrong with ya!"

"Yeah, sure." He walked along, blatantly not paying attention to her words anymore.

"YA!" Li Hua, ever so loud, became even louder after that.

...

"Oy, make sure to hide ya'self well or you might make the prey run away."

Li Hua, in her work mode, was much more serious—neither loud nor foolish.

"Yeah, sure." Tiandi's halfhearted response made Li Hua's face turn bitter, and her fists balled up in anger, but she controlled herself well, remaining silent.

This made Tiandi feel quite amused.

On that day, he made sure to hunt every single one of Li Hua's prey and later cooked it for her. The sight of her wolfing down the food with a complex, frustrated yet delighted expression made Tiandi feel a pride he hadn't experienced since he had won his last major battle.

"Damn it, it's delicious!" She slammed her fist onto the table as she finished her food.

Tiandi responded, "Thanks for the compliments."

"..."

"..."

A strange silence settled between them as Li Hua continued to gaze at her empty bowl, and neither uttered a word.

"Ya know..." Li Hua began, her voice carrying an unusual weight, "It wasn't always like this... back when Mum and Dad were alive..." Her fists clenched as she continued, "Back then, everyone respected us... no one would've dared to badmouth us. But then when they were gone..."

Li Hua fell into silence, but it was evident that there was more to the story. After all, the villagers wouldn't have changed their attitudes so abruptly, even if they harboured dissatisfaction against her parents.

"Ya know, Mum and Dad... They always used to tell me to smile... that my smile was beautiful. So, I made sure to smile for them, and even when they were gone I made sure to not lose my smile... At first, everything was fine, the village treated me well, and I always smiled as I helped around the village... But then..."

She paused, swallowing down her saliva, calming her wavering voice as she continued, "A few years ago, a merchant who often visited our village tried to marry me... I didn't want to leave the village where I had lived with Mum and Dad, so I refused... A-at that time, that bastard was the only merchant who visited our village... So the rest of the village tried to force me..."

"I-I didn't want to... I really didn't... I was scared... and you know what that bastard told me? He told me 'I love your smile'! I felt disgusted, frustrated... bitter!"

"So I kicked him in the balls and scarred my face! Hahaha! Those bastards' faces were worth looking at! Hahaha...ha...haha...ha..."

She laughed aloud, but even that laugh seemed to be painted with a touch of melancholy.

"Well... after that, the village distanced themselves from me. They mocked me and isolated me, so I began to hunt for myself! Even if it was hard, it was better than begging those bastards! But... It was hard to smile after that... Even their dying wish... I couldn't fulfil it..."

Once again, silence enveloped them both as Li Hua fell silent, and Zhou Tiandi did not say anything.

Tiandi had witnessed the suffering of countless people on his journey, but being a part of this scene, not as a distant immortal but as an acquaintance, left him at a loss for words.

Should he console her? Should he tell her that it wasn't her fault? Or perhaps that the rest of the people were at fault? Did he have the right to do so?

"I... will be going to sleep now." Getting up from her seat, Li Hua turned to leave, her gaze still downcast. Her back felt so lonely and small, seemingly crushed by the weight of the world.

"I think they just wanted you to be happy!"

"Wha...?" Li Hua's expression was a baffled one as she heard Tiandi yell aloud.

"No parents would wish to see their child unhappy... That's why they wanted you to smile."

He said it, and now he no longer had any excuses for his hypocrisy. But, even so, he felt like he had to do this.

"So..." Even if he wanted to turn away and never acknowledge it, he no longer had an excuse, "Stop thinking such stupid things! You idiot!"

Even if it was insincere, he smiled. Even if it had been a while, he had smiled brightly.

"What?! Y-ya!" Li Hua, startled by the sudden remarks, reddened and fled hastily... only to run into a wall and fall unconscious onto the floor.

"Haa..." After a long sigh, Tiandi approached the unconscious Li Hua, carrying her to her bed.

In the flames lthat enveloped the sect back then, one of the first to turn to ashes was... Long Ai, his junior sister and... first love.

If only he hadn't been a coward, if only he had attempted to get rid of the embers that sparked the flames, perhaps she wouldn't have suffered? He blamed himself for her death, for being a coward and a disgrace.

But when the flames were extinguished, he wasn't condemned. Instead, he was lauded as a hero. His sins were forgotten alongside the existence of Long Ai.

"Deep down, I knew it..." Tiandi spoke to no one in particular as he carried Li Hua. "I knew that she didn't blame me. Even in her death, that fool just smiled at me!"

He raised his voice as his expression shifted to a warped smile filled with anguish.

"B-but... If I forgot about it too, then who would mourn for her?" His voice trembled, a disgraceful moment for someone of his cultivation realm. "There's no one left... no one would've mourned for her..."

He had selfishly blamed himself to seek his own salvation, bringing sorrow to all those who cared for him.

But now he had no choice but to accept the truth. She never wished for him to suffer. Perhaps all that she wished for was to see him smile.

...

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...

The next day,

With an immense headache, Li Hua exited her room while clutching her head.

On the table where she usually had her meal, food was already placed and alongside it was a piece of paper with something written on it.

{Please drink in moderation from now on.}

Her face was set ablaze and turned a crimson hue as she recalled the past day's events.

That winter, spring came earlier for Tiandi.

[AN- in the comments is the inner devil guy art]