Chapter 101 – Visitors

"Well... that was boring"

"Heh, you really don't like these types of things, do you Ikarus?"

We've just finished our first 'official' council meeting with Marcus, the official part is debatable since we had to do the damn thing at the inn seeing that the town hall has burnt down. At least it was kinda official since the Lord did bring a load of papers and stuff to go through with us.

Basically to summarize everything up since that type of stuff is unbelievably boring, we went through a LOT of numbers regarding the town and how things actually work. In all honestly, there actually isn't much to do or fix so to speak, I was actually expecting this place to be a hellhole beyond the surface seeing that Marcus desperately seems to want us in power but things are actually pretty great.

The town isn't losing money and makes enough profit to remain steady and have a rainy-day fund, the islands themselves can grow crops so things like farming is a reliable alternative despite the main diet being fish and the standard of living is better than most towns in the empire.

The only real issue just comes down to further development really. For any significant things to be built like a bridge across to the mine island or something like another shipyard or port for example, then more money needs to be obtained. I can see why this guy is so happy for us to be here just from that alone, a lot of currency is bound to flow through this place very soon and what else do you do with such a large amount of wealth? You spend it of course! Well... it's more investing than actually spending but I'm trying to make this sound less boring really.

Thinking about this guy, we've actually been blessed in the amount of competent people we've come across recently, I honestly think we could just give Marcus a huge consistent amount of money and he'd develop this place into a thriving city but I still want to be involved a little more than just that despite me obviously having a terrible attention span to anything boring.

I do have a goal for making this place completely reliant on itself though, what I mean by that is all money that gets spent finds its way back basically becoming a constant cycle between workers, businesses and banks. This settlement already has that type of thing already in place but the end goal is a city that needs no help from me, Petra and even Marcus... although the defence side of things is a topic for another day but the only real threat might be more pirates and they are apparently extremely rare in the northern seas. I'm more than happy to smite any bastard who dares do wrong in this place though.

"It's not that dislike that sort of thing, it's just keeping focused more than anything. Luckily enough, I can focus a little more with you around"

That's not technically true since Petra's a massive distraction but I just want to compliment her even if the words I speak aren't correct.

"Heh, clearly I'm not distracting you enough then, I'll have to try a lot harder"

Her flirting or teasing is so unnecessary, it'll be perfect other than the fact it becomes difficult to compliment her when she responds like this.

"You know, you don't always have to tease so much, actions hold more impact than-"

Without even being subtle about it, I find a quick peck on the lips from Petra. Sure, I was kinda hinting at such a thing but she really does act fast when it comes to this sort of thing. It says a lot that she holds back massively for me, I still dread to think what the 'real' Petra is like...

"Like that?"

"Y-Yeah, like that... are they... who I think they are?"

Ah, I should probably explain what we're doing anyways. After leaving the inn, just fancied a little walk around the town with Petra until I found her violating my personal space, not that I'd ever dislike it. What I've just noticed after finishing the slight kiss and looking over Petra's shoulder is the other side of the market; it just so happens three very noticeable individuals have just arrived into town and two of them are being pretty vocal.

"Erk... will you just leave me alone already!?"

"No chance of that girly-boy, you're not getting away from me that easily"

"I'm not in the fucking mood today cow"

"Well, that's unfortunate seeing that I'm going nowhere!"

You'll never guess which three have stumbled into town? I'll give a hint, one's a green haired, big breasted partially naked perve cuddling the arm of one of them, the other is a sweet and innocent blue haired healer and the last is a grumpy, irritating red-haired dick. Maybe that's being a little unfair since he puts all tsunderes to shame but Zeki can be insufferable though.

Ariza notices us and ditches the others running towards me and Petra. She actually hugs us like she's hasn't seen us in years, I don't mind the hug but I've never actually been hugged by her I think, it's kinda odd.

"Finally some normal people... those two are so difficult to deal with"

Do I even need to speculate? Ria and Zeki have probably been so disgusting, poor Ariza has been stuck in the middle of it when travelling over here. I do wonder when the dryad actually met up with them but I really couldn't care that much to ask.

"I'm easy to deal with brother! It's that pervert who won't stop clinging to me, that's the problem!"

"And yet, you keep using this 'pervert' for your daily needs. Once you mate with a sprit Zeki, it's a commitment for life"

"Yeah right, you can fuck right off cow, that ain't happening"

I'm all for more company and all but really? We haven't even said a how do you do and this shit is already happening again? Sighhh...

Then without any warning, the situation completely changes in a heartbeat.

"Huh?... Turns out you're lucky today girly-boy, I'm actually needed somewhere else for a change, that kinda sucks but I've never stopped doing my duties just yet"

And just like that in the blink of an eye, the tree spirit dryad Ria stops clinging onto Zeki and walks into one of the few trees in the market and vanishes in the blink of an eye. The market is pretty empty right now so no one seemed to noticed but did that dryad seriously just do that? At least have the common courtesy for a goodbye or a hello, she clearly saw us but she was always part of the obnoxious couple anyway. I'm also guessing she gets informed when an important tree is in danger as well? Eh, who cares...

It's funny how no one is even mentioning that odd occurrence, what a weird 'meetup' that was, at least Zeki's rid of her now.

"Ah orangey, ran into your old man on the way over... he said something about him and the family coming to pay a visit soon"

"Wait, why the fuck do they want to come over here!?"

Shit shit shit! Zeki may say that causally and they're probably isn't anything to worry about but it's impossible for this bird to not worry in this situation, there's no reason for them to visit so abruptly and to a settlement full of people!? Urgh...

"I don't know orangey, unsure why you look so worried about it, it's not exactly like they're going to burp and burn this place to the ground. At least your old man won't anyways, unsure about your beast of a mother"

"Calling someone's mother a beast really isn't nice Zeki"

"That's meant as a compliment brother! You know me, normally I'd call dragons arrogant dicks but those two are alright"

That's still another potential cause for concern even if Zeki doesn't think so, I've not felt great today but that's not really worth mentioning yet. I know I shouldn't be that worried but it just wouldn't surprise me if both parents decide to fly in above the city causing everyone in this place to literally shit themselves thinking the end times have come... I'll have to give Marcus the heads up something like that could be happening later as well now but what do I say? I could just say they're two big birds I guess.

"Heh, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal Ikarus, they aren't children and know how to behave"

"Yeah Petra... you're probably right..."

At least that'll give me something to 'look forward' to, I wonder when they'll arrive then, hopefully not on the same day the dwarven ships come into dock... well fuck, I've just jinxed it...

__________

"Urgh... dear God... the hell have I eaten?"

"What's wrong Ikarus?"

I've had this weird cramping pain just under my stomach for a while now and it's getting worse, been this way since this morning but has slowly been getting worse and worse now.

We're currently chilling in this inn while those three are basically moving into this place as well, Zeki and Ariza have a few backpacks worth of stuff they brought over since I'm guessing they plan on staying for a while. I'm all for the company but obviously from only one of them... at least it seems Zeki's not into the dryad right now so completely and utter perversion should be less frequent thankfully.

"It's been playing up all morning... it's a little crude sounding but it's a similar feeling to when you're a little blocked up if you catch my meaning"

Saying it like that is a hell of a lot better than saying I have a feeling like trapped wind or constipation, I'm good on that side of things though so I'm unsure why I feel like this. It's also been rumbling a little as well.

"Say Ikarus, could it be-... no, that shouldn't happen at least for a few more years so forget it"

I hate it when people do that, I love Petra but finish the sentence! It just makes me curious on something that could be pointless.

"Don't be doing that Petra, what were you gonna say?"

"What I was thinking of is that maybe it's time of the month? If you catch my meaning"

That time of the month? I shouldn't be having them... wait!

"For fuck's sake! I'm going to have to change form now, aren't I?"

"Heh, of course Ikarus, there's no other way it'll come out"

Fucking eggs man, I know phoenixes technically evolve and all that shit but should I really be laying at this age? Ah forget it, I bet there's just enough room for me to change in the room we're renting out...

__________

"That's a motherfucker of an egg..."

You ever seen an ostrich or emu egg in person? Yeah, they don't compare in the slightest to this, it's even bigger than those! I can literally hug it like a body pillow, I'm obviously not since it might crack but still. Also, let's ignore the obvious fact that this egg is way too big to fit inside the hybrid human form, I'm guessing it must've been constantly shrunk down otherwise something of this size should've killed me. I may have given it a quick wash as well now, shouldn't have to explain where it came from but it goes by the same logic on how a chicken lays an egg...

"... At least that's dinner sorted tonight... why do I feel weird eating that though?"

It's just a big egg... that literally came out of me not so long ago. Chickens literally do this type on cannibalistic shit all the time and yet why do I feel like it's a terrible idea all of a sudden? I've cleaned it thoroughly and the inside will be lush and definitely not fertilized... It's that little remnant of humanity I have still left inside within me. Eating something that basically sat inside me recently sounds so unbelievably fucked up. It's actually pissing me off, I was looking forward to this!

"Heh, was like that at first but there's really nothing odd about it, remember them being pretty good however long ago that was. Taste would've still been around back then"

And now I feel like she's a pervert... at least Petra's eaten her own eggs before. See! That's why it's weird, actually saying eating your own eggs sounds so freaking disturbing, I'm not letting it get over my curiosity on how it tastes though and I've got the best chef alongside me.

"Chef Petra... could you cook us an omelette please?"

"Sure, I'll have to cook Zeki and Ariza something different though otherwise Mr obnoxious as you call him will get jealous"

We're already in the kitchen after I washed this bad boy and the inn owner allows us to use this place as we please at this point, it's time for some more good ol' home quality family cooking! Even if it's going to be her doing most of the work.

I'll definitely get over my weirdness after I taste the damn thing, it'll be guaranteed if it's good, who cares if the thing basically just came out of my bottom anyways? Also, it sounds like Petra would rather us two just eat the egg, this is weird enough and feeding to the others might be passing a line. It's fine if it's just me and Petra though, she's already been kinda down there before-... that's not incriminating at all, you're sharing too much Ikarus!

Forget that... and now it's time for the cooking montage! Well... not really but I did help out Petra out a little through it all, mostly passing all the ingredients to her while she turns the gigantic egg into an omelette that's clearly too big for the pot. Can't also forget the meats, mushrooms and veg she added to it, omelette with other stuff in does make it taste so much better as well. It's a shame we didn't do the Japanese omurice thing with the ketchup love heart on top but Petra's cooking needs no such lovey dovey crap to it, it's too good to be romantic! Even if I would kinda like that sort of thing as well...

Now that everything is completed, Petra's serving up our dinner and wouldn't you know it, the other two phoenixes have arrived like a moth to a flame, they unfortunately only have meat and veg but Petra can make anything good after all.

(Ariza) "It smells good in here, is there enough for us?"

(Zeki) "Damn, this omelette smells good, how many eggs did you use for that?"

While answering, Petra's serving all the food onto the plates, those two are welcome to have some omelette if they want but if Ariza or Zeki laid an egg, I'd rather not eat it if I'm being honest. Petra's a completely different thing even if she doesn't lay them anymore unfortunately... it's funny how that's perfectly fine but my own eggs now make me feel weird, I really am an odd specimen at times.

[<-User- is once again stating the obvious>]

'Shoo, it's dinner time and you don't deserve any attention'

[<Hmph>]

"Haven't done omelette for you two I'm afraid... you won't want to eat that Zeki"

And without even thinking about it, the idiot grabs a fork and takes a bite from the omelette Petra just served on the first plate. He really seems to be enjoying that...

"Why's that older sis?... Shit, that's a good omelette, are they chicken or duck eggs?"

Oh, you red haired idiot, I can't wait to see his reaction when he finds out that's my butt egg now. He better have a bad reaction to this; looks like I'm not going to have to reveal it to him since Petra seems to have a smirking reaction to it all.

"Heh, neither... it's a phoenix egg Zeki... stopped laying a long time ago but someone else just so happened to start"

Ariza instantly realizes who made that egg and covers her mouth trying not to laugh, it takes a second for him to realize who 'produced' that now, looks like he's not enjoying my butt egg any longer... I've really got to stop calling it that.

"Wait... you mean... this came out of orangey ass!? I think I'm going to puke"

"You're such an idiot Zeki, this is why you need to use that brain of yours sometimes"

And just like that, Zeki presumably runs off to go be sick in the outhouse while Ariza can't help but laugh and mock him, I'm unsure whether to laugh or be offended that my egg isn't good enough for him now. At least he said it's good, even if the thought of my arse makes him sick. Yeah, I am offended actually, I feel the urge to kick him hard now.

Anyways, ignoring my irritation, I grab a fork and take a quick bite, we should really take a seat while eating but I'm curious and hungry already. Taking a bite and savouring the taste... it's easily safe to say this is the best omelette I've ever had! Sure, if you're not a lover of strong eggs, you'd hate this but it really has a great taste, I bet this would be unbelievable poached as well... I do wonder how much this is down to the egg or chef though but screw overthinking this, I'm just going to scoff this down regardless.

"Damn... I will cure your taste one day Petra, mark my words"

She cooks like a Goddess yet can barely taste a thing; life is unnecessarily cruel to her for not being able to enjoy such a thing...