14

I sat on the curb as the other heroes worked clean up, my head hanging low as my arms rested on my knees. The damage to the city caused by Amazo was not the worst they had ever had to deal with, but the battle had covered a large area, so there was still a lot to take care off. Or, at least I assumed that was the case. No one had really bothered me since I gave my report of what happened and settled down at my current spot. I probably should have helped out but I… I just needed some time. Just needed to work through the bitterness and despair in my gut.

I wasn't exactly alone though. Kori sat next to me, her body leaning against me as one of her hands gripped my own. She had tried to talk to me at first, but I wasn't… She instead then just sat down next to me and waited. I kept meaning to tell her that she could go, but I could never seem to muster the words for it.

I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually I became aware of shadow falling over me. I looked up to see Wonder Woman standing over me, her face one of concern. "You likely saved dozens if not hundreds of lives today." She said.

"…Yeah," I said as I hung my head back down. "And I lost four."

I heard a sigh before Wonder Woman spoke again. "Starfire, I need to speak with Machina alone for a moment."

From the corner of my eye I saw Kori look at me uncertainly. I looked back at her and gave her a small nod, squeezing her hand a little as I did so. She squeezed back before she stood and flew off, likely going to join the clean-up effort.

Wonder Woman then moved to sit on the curb next to me, on the opposite side of where Kori had just sat. She was silent for a moment before she spoke. "One of the first missions I ever did back when I joined the All-Star Squadron was evacuating a town in the French countryside. The Allies had intel that the Axis would be pushing an offensive through the area, and they wouldn't be able to make it in time to get everyone out. So we stepped in."

She sifted slightly. "We were… mostly successful. Most of the civilians were out of harm's way when the Axis showed up. But once the army realized that the Squadron was there, the opted to shell the town with us in it." She hesitated. "There was a little girl, not old enough to realize what was going on, but scared enough that she had hid in a closet. I managed to find her just as the artillery shell hit the house."

The silence stretched between us before I finally asked "…Why are you telling me this?"

She turned to more fully face me. "I'm not going to tell you that this gets easier. To this day I can still remember the look on her face just before the house exploded, and sometimes I wonder if I had been a little faster or done things differently I could have saved her. I just want you to know that you are not alone. You are not the first to lose civilians you were trying to protect, nor will you be the last. This is something you will come to accept now that you are a hero-"

"I'm not a hero!" I snapped, my head whipping around to glare at her in anger. "I'm just some random asshole with superpowers!"

Wonder Woman's expression did not change at my outburst, and she continued to look at me evenly. "I don't believe you."

"Oh come on, just because I got my own stupid 'origin story' doesn't mean I'm suddenly qualified to do this! If I were a real hero maybe those people wouldn't be dead, but instead they got someone playing out a childhood fantasy!"

She let out a small hum. "You didn't sound like you were 'playing' when you told us to stay back. Why didn't you try to break combat and retreat?"

I looked at her incredulously. "People would have died if I did that! More people! There was nobody else who could do it, I had to!"

"So, you chose to put yourself in harm's way to save lives when no one else could." She remarked with an arched eyebrow. "That sounds like a hero to me."

I made an irritated noised as I looked away from the heroine. "Barely counts, I'm next to impossible to kill." Granted this probably was the closest I had ever come to death, but… huh, this was actually the closest I had ever come to death. I hadn't really thought about that until just then.

Wonder Woman's tone turned cool as she folded her arms across her chest. "Oh, so if I or Starfire fought gang members to save innocents, we wouldn't be heroes just because we couldn't be hurt?"

I felt a sudden wave of embarrassment as I looked back at her. "Well no, you, I mean, it wouldn't-" I stopped and pressed my lips into a thin line. "You're messing with me aren't you."

"If by that you mean 'pointing out your mental inconsistencies', then yes." Wonder Woman remarked with a small smirk before her expression became serious again. "Do you honestly feel that you are unfit to be a superhero?"

The anger and self-resentment I had felt before was starting to fade (I had never been good at holding on to such things), so I just let out a breath a slumped my shoulders. "I don't know. I don't know what makes someone fit to be a superhero. I just figured that I'd know it in my gut at some point." I gestured vaguely. "I know that heroes don't always save everyone, and I know I probably did everything I possible could. But it doesn't feel good enough. I've watched people die in front of me, and this is a victory? It doesn't feel like one." Argh, I was starting to ramble.

Still, the heroine seemed to understand what I was saying and gave a slight nod. "I see. So, I suppose the important question is, do you want to be a superhero?"

The question took me off guard, enough that it actually silenced me for a full minute. Eventually, after gathering my thoughts, I responded. "…you know what one of the tag lines for one of the most famous superheroes back home is? 'With great power comes great responsibility.' It's a bit cheesy in the modern age, but the sentiment behind it is something I've always found admirable. Even when the hero's life turned to shit, which it did with unfortunate frequency, he always carried on to help as many people as he could." I breathed in as I looked back at Wonder Woman. "I feel that I should be a superhero, because it's the most meaningful thing I can do right now to help the world I'm in. Maybe that will change someday, but for now… yeah, I want to be a superhero."

"Then you will have to pick yourself up and continue forward." The heroine said warmly. "And know that if you stumble and fall, you need never be alone."

I let out a breath before I managed a weak smile. "Thank you, Wonder Woman."

She smiled back at me. "Call me Diana."

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"Recognized: Machina, B-0-7"

The golden light faded as I stepped out of the Zeta Tube and into the main hall of the Mountain. It had been several hours since my talk with Won- with Diana, and while I wasn't quite back at one hundred percent, I at least a bit more solid. I had spent the time since then helping out in the clean up and reconstruction, taking special care to find and reabsorb any nanite dust I had left lying around. I didn't know if the deactivated nanties would be of any use to anyone trying to discover their secrets, but I really didn't want to find out. Such as it was, the task had taken long enough that Kori had gone back before me, and the sun was starting to set as I finally made my way back home. The non-resident members of the team had probably gone home themselves, and my roommates would likely been in the common area or in their bedrooms.

So I was a little surprised at seeing two people in the main hall, watching a playback of the fight with Amazo on a holographic screen. Especially considering neither of them were team members. "Shouldn't you be resting?" I asked Black Canary as she turned to face me, noting the bandages peeking through tears in her jacket and leggings. Getting a good look at her for the first time, I noted how the blonde woman had more of a gymnast build as opposed to the Amazonian one I had become accustom to with Kori and Diana. She was still well muscled, but it was more compact.

"I only suffered minor injuries, I just needed a few hours to recover from exhaustion." The woman remarked. "I already had this trip planned for today, and I saw no reason to skip out."

I glanced at the person standing next to her, who took this as a signal to speak. "It was an opportunity to visit my niece, and make sure that her own education was coming along." Martian Manhunter's voice was surprisingly deep and resonate, though his tone was friendly. His form was decidedly less human than M'gann's with its solid red eyes, heavier brow and enlarged cranium, but it was not so exaggerated that I'd call it inhuman either. Then again, I think my perception of such things might have become skewed as of late. He held out his hand to me. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Machina. M'gann has told me much about you."

I grunted as I shook his hand. Normally I would have been far more excited to meet J'onn J'onzz, but that day I just wasn't in the mood. I looked back at Canary. "So… if you don't mind my asking, what did you come here for?"

"Today was the day that I started training the team." The woman replied. "Primarily martial arts, but we'll be getting to group tactics and strategy later."

I blinked at that. That was today? Was I told about this? I thought to myself. I certainly didn't remember being told about it. Maybe since I was out with Wonder Woman I had been considered excused for the day. Of course I really would have preferred to have done this a few weeks ago…

I felt some flickers of anger start to form, but I pushed it back down. After some long seconds of awkward silence, I finally said "So, uh, how did the rest of the team do? At combat training, I mean."

Black Canary blinked before she said, "Ah, well, I only had time to get a feel for what they knew today, but I can tell you that their skill level varies. Robin is a skilled as most masters, he just needs to keep up his training as his body grows. Kaldur has a solid foundation as well, but most of his official training was for underwater combat, so there is room for some improvement. Kid Flash on the other hand will be starting from scratch, and Superboy…" She trailed off before she let out a sigh. "He has more than one issue to work through."

"What about Starfire?"

She rubbed her shoulder as if it ached. "Ugh, it's like sparring with Wonder Woman. She had strength, flight, and most importantly knows how to use both. Not sure how much I'm going to be able to teach her."

Well, she was being groomed to become a warrior queen, I thought to myself. And if you're being trained by a bunch of guys called the Warlords of Okaara, you're probably getting a good education. I didn't voice any of this though, because I as far as I knew Kori had yet to tell anyone about her royal status. Instead I just let out an amused hum.

Black Canary just shook her head and looked back at the screen behind her, which was now featuring myself trying to push back Amazo with a flurry of blows. I frowned, but Canary answered my question before I spoke. "Green Arrow carries a small camera on him at all times. Makes it useful for recoding evidence, or in this case recording fights for other heroes to pick out weaknesses against an opponent they might have to face."

She turned to face me. "Fortunately, you were able to take him down by yourself. However, it's clear that you need some instruction in how to fight. You made good use of your abilities, and you have a decent sense of trying to keep your opponent off balance, but going by the footage there's a lot to improve on."

And just like that, what little humor I had evaporated. I think Black Canary was going to continue, but she seemed to realize she had made a mistake when she saw my expression and stopped. After a silent beat, I spoke. "Oh, of course you're completely right. I mean, I've only been in combat about half a dozen times, so I'm quite inexperienced. Maybe if I had a little something, I might have saved one of those lives that were lost. It's almost like, it's been a whole month since I got here, and I haven't had any FUCKING TRAINING."

The two heroes flinched at that. I hadn't meant for the words to come out so harshly, but at the same time I wasn't feeling particularly charitable at the moment. Black Canary in particular shifted uncomfortably, looking off to the side as she said "Today should never have happened. It was too early for you to fight an opponent of that level. You shouldn't have had to step in."

"But I did. And now I have to live with it."

The cavernous room was silent for a long moment. Finally, Canary turned to face me. "I'm sorry. Now that I'm here, I can begin training you immediately."

My mouth pressed into a thin line. "Can you though?"

Her face hardened at that. "I have extensive training in several martial arts. I know that you are likely angry with me-"

"I am angry with you, but that's not the reason." I interrupted. "You're a master of human martial arts, which all make a few assumptions about the body you're using. You can teach me how to use my arms and legs, but what about my tail? Or my second set of arms? What about my xenomorph form, or any other form that I might come up with down the line?"

"Well, no, I can't teach anything for that." She replied. "But I would advise that you start with more standard martial arts anyway. Once you have a solid foundation, you can start incorporating your powers."

I shook my head. "These aren't just my powers, it's my body. I'm only shaped like a human right now because I want to be. I don't want a foundation that will prove to be too narrow and limiting because it makes assumptions about my biomechanics."

It was then that Martian Manhunter spoke. "Then perhaps I should be your teacher."

Black Canary and I looked at him in surprise. "J'onn, are you sure? I can take care of this." She said.

"I am sorry, but Machina is correct in that martial skills for shapeshifters are very different from those developed for more static forms. I am the only League member with enough experience in such combat to be an effective teacher. Aside from perhaps Plastic Man, but he is not a League member or… the most reliable. I can certainly see what I can impart on our learning hero."

I regained my wits as I said "That… actually would be great. I mean, you don't have to-"

"No, I do." The Martian insisted as he looked at me. "Machina, it is not Black Canary's fault that you didn't get the training you needed; it was the League's. When she was otherwise occupied, we should have provided you with another teacher in the interim. At least before your first mission, and especially before now. We all failed you, and we owe you both an apology and a debt for what you've done today."

My mouth worked open and closed as I tried to form words to respond. It wasn't much, but it felt like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulders at the Martian's heartfelt words. "I- thank you. I will try to make the most of your instruction."

He gave a small smile. "It is not such a bother, in any case. I was planning on coming here regularly to train my niece anyway. She expressed more interest in honing her mental abilities, but some shapeshifting training will do her some good as well." He nodded. "We can begin tomorrow. For now, I imagine that today has been most trying, and that you should get some rest. As well, I need to adjust my schedule in light of this, so I will see you tomorrow."

With that, the Martian turned and left, a flash of golden light marking his exit through the Zeta Tube. That left me and Black Canary standing awkwardly in the main hall. I shuffled a bit before I said "I guess I should turn in for the night. I'll see you around, I suppose."

Black Canary paused before spoke. "Machina," she started, her tone becoming soft. "I know that you probably don't right now, but I want you to know that if you ever want to talk, about anything at all, my door is always open."

I hesitated for a long moment before I simply nodded and turned to leave. Right now I really wanted to be left alone with my thoughts-

"Oh, one more thing." I heard, and I turned back to look at her. "Before training ended, Superboy mentioned that he was looking for you. I'm not sure for what, but it seemed pretty important."

I arched an eyebrow at that, but I nodded and said "I'll see what he wants." As I continued to walk I briefly considered leaving this off to tomorrow, but I decided against it. If Superboy of all people was asking after me, it was probably something that wouldn't keep.

I soon found Superboy in the common area watching the TV, but judging by the stormy expression in his face he wasn't really paying attention. I hesitated for only a moment before I approached. "Hey, I heard you were looking for me, what's up?"

The teen gave a start and stood up to face me. "Yeah, I, uh…" The teen shifted uncomfortably as he tried to figure out what to say, clearly feeling uncomfortable with whatever was bother him. Finally his features hardened and he looked at me. "I need you to scan my DNA. I need to know if there's something wrong with me."

I blinked in confusion. For a second the request seemed to come completely out of left field (and to me of all people) before I remembered what I had said to him a little over a week ago. About his lineage. "What brought this-" I started to say before I stopped, remembering who I was talking to. "You know what, it doesn't matter, I'll help. To the lab."

----------------------​

While I had spent most of my time in the past month inside the Mountain's tech lab, I had also spent a portion of said time in the med lab as well, in order to familiarize myself with the medical equipment located therein. This was both to further my self-taught general technology education and so that I could work the damn things if I was somehow the only person to do so. Actually, now that I thought about it, I might actually be the only person who can do so other than Robin and Red Tornado. Probably should fix that at some point…

Anyway, it was a short while later that I found myself analyzing the readout from Superboy's physical scan with the teen standing behind me. The terminal screen in front of me was displaying data on his tissue composition, DNA, energy field metrics, and a few other things I only barely understood. As such I had spent a full ten minutes after the tests were done making sure I understood what it was telling me before Superboy lost his patience. "So, what does it mean?" He asked nervously.

I hesitated for a moment as I considered the best way to break it to him, but in the end I decided that it was best to be direct. "According to scans, only half of your DNA is Kryptonian. The other half is human."

His shoulders sagged, and he looked down at the ground. "So… that's why I'm not as strong as him, isn't it? That's why I don't have all of his abilities."

I turned to face him fully. "I'm not a biologist, but probably. I don't have very detailed data on Superman's physique, but from what I can tell entire sections of your tissue are human rather than Kryptonian. Kind of amazing that you function at all, actually."

That may have not been the best thing to say, as a moment later Superboy's head snapped back up to look at me with a furious glare. "So what, I'm barely functioning trash? Why would they make me this way?! Why didn't they just make me complete?!"

I held my hands up placating. "I'm not sure! I… I think it's because Kryptonian DNA is really hard to work with, at least with the current level of technology. It has a tendency to break down and mutate over time if everything isn't done perfectly." And then you get Bizzaro. As far as I knew that hadn't happened yet in this universe, so hopeful the guys who made Superboy realized this before getting too far. "I imagine making you half human made you a lot more stable and easier to create."

The teen calmed down a little before he gave me a questioning look. "How could you know that?"

"…Ask Batman." I said, deflecting the question. "Anyway, I'm sorry if it sounded insulting. I have no really background for this sort of thing, so it just seems mind boggling looking at it up close."

For a second I was worried that Superboy was going to press the issue of my knowledge further, but he then dropped the subject in favor of something else. "Who… did I come from?" I gave him a confused look, and he elaborated. "The human half of me, who did it come from?"

For a moment I tried to drag the answer out of my memory, but I honestly couldn't remember. I hadn't really read that much about Superboy in the comics. After a second I turned back to the terminal and started entering a set of queries. "Well, I can try running your profile through the League's DNA database and see if we get any partial matches, but I doubt that we'll get anything from it. That database only holds profiles on criminals, genetically 'unique' individuals, and a few other persons of interest. More likely your other 'parent' came from a list of donors, or maybe one of the staff working at Cadmus-"

I cut myself off when the terminal beeped at me, and I saw the result it had found. I stared at the screen for a moment before I let out an exasperated sigh and face palmed. Superboy tried to peer over my shoulder. "What? What did you find?" I leaned to the side to give him a better look at the screen, and there was a pregnant pause as he saw what I just had. "…Lex Luthor?"

"So it would seem." I remarked as I put my hand down, staring at the screen with pressed lips. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by something like this, but this raised a lot of questions. Ranging from 'has Lex's hate for Superman turned into something really weird and creepy?' to 'When the hell did Batman (because who else would it be) get a sample of Lex's DNA?'

For his part, Superboy just seemed confused. "I don't get it, he's some corporate magnate, right? Why is he my other… father?"

I frowned before I explained. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but Luthor has been opposing Superman secretly for years." Probably. Should really check if that's true in this universe, but it's a safe bet. "If his DNA is in you, it's intentional on his part. You said that Cadmus was making you to replace Superman if he ever went rogue, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, something tells me that you would have been used against him as soon as you were ready. Especially if Luthor had complete control over you."

Superboy sat down heavily on a nearby stool, his head in his hands. "Great. Just great. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

I could hear the distress in his voice, and I felt a pang of sympathy for the clone. "Well, there's nothing really to do about it. I mean, it doesn't really change who you are or what you've done so far. You've already started to make your own path as part of this team, so if you stick with that-"

"What's the point?!" He shouted as he looked up at me. "I'm just a poor copy! A cheap knockoff of the real thing! I'll never be as strong as him!"

I frowned. "Most superheroes aren't as strong as the Man of Steel, but that doesn't negate their existence. Besides there's plenty of stuff that you can do that he can't."

"Like what?!" He yelled angrily.

Like use telekinetic abilities, I almost said before I snapped my mouth shut. I wanted to say it. I really did. It was always one of the more interesting things about Superboy in the comics, and I'm sure it would do the teen good to hear about something that was all his own. But, aside from the fact that I actually wasn't sure he even had it, I wasn't allowed to tell him about it.

And at that moment I felt like a coward for not doing so. Sure, it was all brave and stuff for telling the Justice League about DC comics, but what the hell did that matter when I wouldn't tell the people I actually worked with every day? Doesn't he deserve to know what he might be capable of? Or would I just be endangering him and possibility getting his hopes up for nothing?

What should I… no, that's not the right question. There's no one to ask, no waiting for an answer anymore. The question wasn't 'what should I do'.

It was 'how was I going to help Superboy'.

Finally, I made up my mind. "I can't say for certain," I said. "But according to the scans the energy field that you give off is markedly different from Superman's. I'm not sure how, but if you give me some time, I think I'll find something interesting that you can use."

Superboy looked less than enthused at my statement. "'Something interesting'? Yeah right. Unless you can somehow fix half of me, it's not going to matter."

I let out a sigh before I walked over to him, and gripped him firmly by the shoulders. He filched a little at the contact, but he still looked up at me as I said "You are not just half a Superman. I will not accept that, and neither should you. I promise you that I will find whatever enhancements or powers your body might be hiding. And if I can't, I'll help you find something else if you think you need it. You will be the hero you want to be, I swear it."

His eyes widened in surprise at that, and after a moment he looked off to the side and muttered his thanks. I smiled a little at that, though I knew I had a long road ahead of me. I was going to tell him (and the rest of the team) about my origin someday, probably someday soon, but for now I was just going to have to start working. Because Diana was right, I'm not in this alone. And more importantly, I'm not the only one who could use some help. I don't know if I can ever live up to her expectations, but that's not going to stop me from trying.

So, I'm picking myself up and moving forward. Because I'm going to help make this the best god damn team the world has ever seen.