Anxeity over the future

Lee had quickly accepted the accidental indoctrination into the cult of YOUTH. While I'm not happy to admit it, Guy was extremely encouraging. The energy, and aura with which he led his life had a better effect on us than I could have expected. Most of my anxiousness drifted away while in his company. His general goofiness, mixed with extreme physical training kept my mind off of most things. Naruto was making amazing advancements in both control, and his taijutsu prowess. I was proud of him, however Lee's achievements were downright impossible. This kid worked himself to the bone, and followed Guy's every command. We did our best as well, and managed to perform well enough to not do extra work, but Lee welcomed extra work. His determination to prove himself was astounding even at this young age. I don't quite know if this will change much for future events, but I do hope for him to avoid the fate which befalls him at Gaara's hands.

Training ground 11 had become our second home, these past few week's we have spent memorizing every last one of Guy's moves. Memorizing the entirety of his work out regime, getting our own training weights. Kakashi had taken a step back in our training. He always kept close, and gave guidance when he could, but Guy took on the majority of the load. Kakashi focused on Naruto for the most part. Naruto needed a little bit more of a firm hand when it came to " boring " Exercises. I myself needed little pushing after the nightmare. Enforcing my resolve to thrive in this world has been a challenge. I'm glad I'm surrounded by individuals dedicated to lifting me up, but I know what my future holds. I know Naruto is the hero in the future, but what if he didn't have to be? What if he didn't have to lose Sasuke to orochimaru? What if he didn't have to almost die several times between the ages of 12 and 18? What if he just got to get stronger, focus on himself, and achieve his dreams without the looming threats in the background? What if all my meddling prevents all the necessary development he needed to become who he was in my world? Hell what if he doesn't even become friends with Sasuke? Maybe it would be for the best that I leave? Me being here may only be holding both of us back. I don't want to leave, but I can't tell if I'm doing more harm than good by being here.

Dragging myself back to reality I'd just finished the massive pile of food which was plopped down for us by Kakashi. In his words we needed to eat in order to use our " youth " to the fullest. Clearly making fun of his best friend. Surprisingly he's a pretty good cook, which kind of makes sense considering He's been taking care of himself since he was a kid.

" Haru? "

" Huh? "

"' Did we lose you there for a while? "

" Yea, sorry sensei. It's getting a little hard to stay in the present these days. I'm still too young to make any real progress, and while getting the technical skills down has been helpful I feel like failure is breathing down my neck. "

Kakashi, and Naruto looked a little surprised at my honesty.

" What are you scared of Haruko? " Kakashi asked while giving a soft look.

" Orochimaru mostly. I never know when he could learn about me, and come after me. "

" Don't worry Haru! We will protect you. " Naruto added his two cents while giving me a thumbs up.

" What if you can't? " I looked directly at Kakashi while asking.

" I will. " Kakashi spoke with determination, but fear isn't defeated with a few measly words.

" I need to get stronger. Much stronger than I am. I can't protect myself, or insure my own future at this point. "

" Haruko, You're only four years old. There isn't much more you could be doing. Going beyond what we're doing could have a negative impact on your future growth. "

" I can't help but feel like this sensei. "

" Then I'll see what we can do. " Kakashi spoke, and prepared to leave our apartment. After he was gone, Naruto turned towards me.

" You said you need to get stronger right? "

" Yeah bud. This just isn't enough for me. "

" Are you talking about what I think you are? "

" Yeah, I don't see another way. I can't just wait 8 more years to be at an age where I can safely expand my strength the normal way. "

" I don't think now is a good time though. You should get a better handle on what you can do first, besides it's not like you can use that here in the village. "

" I know, that's why I may need to leave. "

" That sounds dumb. We're all here. How would you manage on your own? "

" I don't know Naruto! But what else can I do? I'm living on borrowed time! Do you have any idea what could happen if he found me, and I couldn't defend myself? Or run away? "

" No, but I do know if you leave you could get killed by any number of other things, at least in the village there's only one looming threat. "

" AGH " I pulled at my hair while making exasperated noises. After fussing for a bit I cleaned up, and made my way outside.

" I need to cool off, and think for a while. "

" Wait! Before you go, I have something I need to talk to you about. "

" What is it Naruto? "

" I've been seeing the fox. "

I turned around to face him. " You mean the ninetails? "

" Yeah, when I sleep it feels like I'm being pulled somewhere else. It tries to remind me about how much everybody hates me, and how I deserve it, and how they should pay for it. "

' What the hell? I don't remember anything like this from the anime, Kurama only spoke to him when he was emotionally vulnerable, and had a chance of breaking the seal. Not when he was happy, and just living his life. '

" Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? "

" You have enough on your plate, I don't want to worry you. "

" Naruto… You don't have to carry the weight of your burdens by yourself. Just as I shared with you, you can do the same with me. "

" Thank's Haru, but what should I do about it? It isn't really bothering me too much. I feel like it feels disappointed that I'm not upset, or in pain over how they treat me. "

"Maybe that is the case, it might be trying to rile you up, and get you angry, but why? "

" Hmmmmm "

" Maybe the seal weakens when you're emotional? "

" Maybe, I don't really know though. "

" Oh well, just ignore it then. Maybe make fun of it next time. "

" It is locked behind massive doors. I doubt it can really hurt me. "

" Alright bud, I'm going for a walk. Get some rest. Oh! Maybe you can try to have a conversation with it? Who knows, maybe it's lonely in there. "

" Sound's good. Bye Haru! "

After putting on my sandals I made my way through the street's of the hidden leaf. It was evening by this point, and most folk were back inside their homes for the night, a few kids were still out, and about playing. I started to feel like I was being watched, and I couldn't quite place from where. I stopped abruptly, and looked all around, but I only found a few birds looking in my direction.