Secrets of Diagon Alley

We traveled by bus to the street where the Leaky Cauldron was hidden, one of the three major entrances in the muggle world to the hidden magical world within London. Before entering, however, I took Harry to a convenience store and bought him a baseball cap to hide his highly recognizable hair and scar. Then, feeling he was as ready as he'd ever be, I led him into the pub.

Despite the dim lighting and dingy atmosphere, the Leaky Cauldron was actually a very clean and professional place. Spells like Scourgify certainly helped with the cleanliness. In addition to the bar and dining area, it had three large fireplaces designed for floo travel in one corner, and a staircase that led to three floors full of rooms to rent. Again, thanks to magic, you'd never know those extra floors were there, looking in from the outside.

I let Harry soak in the atmosphere for a bit, and glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention. We were dressed as muggles, so we got a few looks, but were quickly ignored. Most of the people in the pub were having a late breakfast, early lunch, or some brunch, and were wearing robes.

Once I felt Harry had seen enough of the pub, I led him to the doorway that led to the Alley proper.

"Now, normally you need a wand to enter Diagon Alley, but there are work arounds for that," I said, tapping the ring I was wearing against the bricks in the proper configuration. Runic symbols covered the ring, and its magic allowed me to mimic what usually required a wand to do.

As for what the ring itself did, it granted a passive cleanliness bonus to me, making it harder for dirt to stick to my skin, hair, or clothing. Something like a glob of mud could still overwhelm the aura of cleanliness, but it was easier to get the stains out.

"This is Diagon Alley, one of four magical 'streets' that encompasses the largest population center of Magical Britain," I explained as we stepped through the sliding wall of bricks. "There's Horizont Alley, which is connected to the Ministry of Magic, Vertical Alley, which is connected to St. Mungos Hospital, the main medical and health center for Magical Britain, and last and certainly least, Knockturn Alley, which has turned into a haven for the inevitable criminal underbelly. These four streets intersect each other in a square shape, with all but the latter street having a direct access route to the non-magical side."

"Whoa!" Harry whispered in awe.

"Yeah, it's pretty great. Diagon Alley has the most shops and businesses out of any of the four streets, the legal ones at least. Horizont Alley has mostly apartments and townhouses where the members of the Ministry and shop owners live, and Vertical Alley is a bit more upper class, with better shops, restaurants and such. It's also where a few parks can be found, alongside a small public library and a daycare center for magical children too young to attend Hogwarts whose parents work during the day," I said, letting him know about the streets. "Don't go down Knockturn Alley. Like I said, it's full of crime. Not everyone who lives there is bad, of course, but you're ten times more likely to be mugged down there than anywhere else in here."

I then clapped my hands to get Harry's attention. "First stop! The bank," I said with much less enthusiasm than I was faking.

"Why the bank?" he asked.

"You didn't think your parents left you nothing, did they?" I responded. "The Potters weren't super wealthy, but they definitely were in the top percentile. Plus, they're old money, so even if they had no liquid assets, they'd still have a ton of magical artifacts and whatnot you could use. We're going to get the goblins to make you a key to register you to your vault, prove who you are, etc."

I then led the overwhelmed boy through the streets to the Gringotts building, which was as big and imposing as ever. I'd only been there once before in this life, but it looked almost identical to the version from the movies.

Inside the marble-floored atrium, we got in line to speak with a teller. It took a few minutes, but since it was still early the line moved quicker than I expected.

"Morning," I said politely to the goblin, who sneered down at me from his podium.

"How may Gringotts help you today?" he asked, his voice slippery and oozing with false sincerity.

"I'd like to speak to an account manager about getting a Vault Key, as well as verifying the status of a few other matters for the boy with me," I replied calmly, not letting my emotions show.

Fun fact! Humans are one of the few animals in nature where smiling is considered a sign of friendship. Goblins did not smile when happy. They sneered so much because it was the only way they knew how to replicate the concept of 'smiling' their human clients desired.

By keeping my expression blank, I was doing my best to respect the goblin before me. After all, they still considering frowning to be offensive. And as much as I found goblins weird and distasteful, that was no reason to be rude. Especially not when trying to do business with them.

"Do you have proof of identification?" the goblin asked, still leering.

"{I invoke the Right of Sanctuary on the grounds of denying my enemies and his the satisfaction of controlling our fortunes,}" I responded, while also placing a silver sickle coin in front of him. However, I did so in Gobbledygook, the guttural goblin tongue. My accent was atrocious, but I managed to say what I wanted clearly, and it was enough to shock the smirk right off his face.

I watched, amused, as his eyes widened and his long ears and pointy nose twitched erratically, the surest signs of surprise a goblin could give, short of vocally gasping.

"I see," the goblin teller said slowly, clearly intrigued. He rang a bell, and another goblin ran up beside up.

"Take these two to see Mudclaw," the teller ordered, and the runner, a younger goblin, likely an intern, nodded and beckoned for us to follow.

"What language was that?" Harry asked as we walked down marbled halls.

"Gobbledygook, the goblin's native language," I replied. "It's a complex language and I'm pretty sure I butchered it, but nothing says 'respect' like speaking to someone in their mother tongue. Plus, very few wizards bother to speak it, so it's a great way to keep secrets from 'em."

"Huh. Neat," Harry said, nodding along. "I can speak to snakes. Does that mean snakes are people, too?"

....

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