We set sail!

"Greetings. I am Fredrick noman the most successful captain in this nation." Said noman as he extended his hand to shake

I looked at his hand with the analytical intensity of a pro general.

~Okay I get it.~

I couldn't grab his hook so I instead reached up to grab his forearm.

I shook his hand and while we shook I spoke.

"So mr noman. If you don't mind me asking. How the fuck aren't you blind!"

He smiled seemingly unperturbed by my profanity.

"I stole these eye patches from those immigrants. Each one you wear makes you see twice as good as the average person."

I couldn't help but crumple my face in confusion at that.

"So what? You can see through them?" I asked him

He nodded.

"Exactly. I can see through them."

~whoever made this world must have been intentionally trying to make sure it didn't make any sense.~

"Okay. I'll take your word for it."

~we only need transportation from point a to point b. I'm sure he can do that. I gave all my money to that sailor though. Ugh I'll have to go back to the palace and get some more.~

"So do I need to pay you or?"

The secretary shook her head.

"No. A sailor already came in here and paid for you" said the secretary

I sighed.

~That's a relief.~

"Okay. Come follow me." I told the pirate. I know he didn't call himself one. But if you look like as much of a pirate as he did then you're a pirate whether you like it or not.

🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

I next went to go get Craig and the arch granny.

They were waiting at the entrance to the harbour.

Craig was napping on the ground while the arch granny was leaning against a wall.

"It's crazy how easily he falls asleep." Said the arch granny.

I only nodded my head in agreement

"Follow me. I got a captain, he's on the boat."

The arch granny picked up a still sleeping Craig and we walked to the boat.

"Jesus! What the fuck is that" yelled the arch granny as she looked at captain noman.

"THAT is the best captain you will ever meet!" Exclaimed noman.

The arch granny leaned over to whisper in my ear

"Are you sure that's the man you want as captain?" She asked

I nodded

"Yup."

She could only shake her head in shame.

"Jesus we're going to drown." She whispered

"It'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiine." I responded

"So these two prunes are your crew mates?" Asked mr noman

"Yes."

The arch granny did not deny her prune like status.

"We'll then let's get going!" Yelled the captain as he began to speed hobble around. He unfurled the sails. He had somehow he managed to tie them off with his hook hands. Then we began to sail out of port.

It was time to travel.

🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖🐐🐖

Booooooooring…

Mr noman did all the work for us and I had forgotten to bring any books.

On top of that it's not like arch granny made for any riveting conversation.

And Craig was just sleeping most of the time.

He would occasionally wake up and grunt about something. But the majority of the time he was just asleep.

So all I could really do is sit their and laze around.

Titanrise was at the direct border of my kingdom so it wouldn't be a long trip. Maybe a day at max.

But still a day spent sitting around staring off into the distance was no fun.

I sat like that for hours. Not doing a thing.

That is until I heard a incredible sound.

"Halt! You are in the navel waters of titan rise. Turn back immediately." Echoed what had to be a megaphone.

It must have been similar to that object I used when advertising the rock scam.

Off on the right side of the ship was a massive warship. It towered over our small caravel.

It was made from a bright blue metal and had many cannons coming out the side.

"Let's steal the ship!" I yelled

"Okay!" Said noman

He turned the caravel directly in the direction of the warship.

"Umm. No guys your supposed to halt! Halt! Halt! Haaaaaaalt!" Yelled the megaphone.

*crash!*

In a hail of splinters and nails out ship crashed into the solid steel one.

The arch granny slapped Craig awake and I ran towards the caravel.

"Let's gooooooo!"

I jumped up onto one of the cannons of the caravel and from their jumped straight to the deck.

The ship was filled with heavily armoured guards. They all wore thick plate armour and had swords sheathed at their sides.

One of them had a bag at their side instead of a sheath.

It was very strange.

I raised my gun and pointed it towards that man.

"Bang!" A blue shield appeared around him. It stopped the bullet in its tracks.

The captain reached into his bag and pulled out a long sword.

I couldn't help but gape at the blatant violation of the laws of space.

Every other guard drew their swords and pointed them in my direction as well.

"Hahahaha! Fool! You think you can defeate a squad of trained titan rise marines with a si—"

"Rocket kick!"

He didn't get a chance to say another word as noman flew right into his face.

He stabbed through the slit in the man's armor with his peg legs which had sharpened metal spikes fastened to them.

His hook hands shifted back into his arm leaving open holes which spewed fire.

"PAhahahahaha!" He cackled as he drove the man's face into the ground.

I could only nod with respect. He clearly earned his reputation as the best captain in the country.

I looked around.

While I was watching that all the soldiers had either been crushed into a pulp or had only their skulls crushed.

Craig and the arch granny really did their jobs well

I got up from my ass and walked to the bloody helmet of the captain.

I reached down and grabbed the bag at his side.

Mr noman watched as I did so with a smile.

"You just got yourself a bag of holding. It's incredibly rare even in titan rise."

"Good. It's mine now."

I wasn't even going to consider sharing it.

I needed as many of these magic items as I could get.

After all. You can't rule the world without being stronger than the world