I Simulated Every Scenario, Why Won't Humans Die?!

By Spook Splice

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Aboard the colossal vessel sailing the cosmic sea, Zarlon the Celestial, ruler of the mighty galaxy, stood with a presence that warped the very fabric of space. His ancient and vast gaze was fixated on a holographic display of planet 826, aka Earth, the crystal blue orb soon to be the next conquest of his kind.

Zarlon's species, the galaxy's cruelest planet vultures, glide through space with ruthless predatory grace. They are nomads of the void, methodically stripping planets bare and leaving behind only the echoes of lost civilizations. Without needing a permanent home, they drain one planet to shattered remnants and then move on to the next, like a relentless cosmic tide.

The most brilliant part? They don't even need to soil their hands to quell the civilizations on their prey planets. All they need to do is unleash 'God's Hand', the galaxy's most advanced disaster generator, and let nature's fury harvest the souls of each world's inhabitants.

Zarlon is certain Earth will be no exception and an easy target. To him, the primitive Humans dwelling on it are but fragile insects, easily crushed under the weight of a mere level 1 disaster. He plans to use simulations to pinpoint the perfect cataclysm, one that will efficiently smother Humanity while preserving the planet's celestial energy for Zarlon's consumption.

Additionally, he takes perverse pleasure in observing the local inhabitants tortured in various simulated horrors, a macabre entertainment he finds fancifully appealing.

With a voice resonating with the authority of a thousand suns, Zarlon addressed Varexus, the Chief Simulation Officer. "Varexus," Zarlon intoned, "choose a level 1 disaster to commence the destruction simulations of planet Earth. Let's hope God's Hand shows no mercy to those little dwarfs called humans."

Varexus, whose form shimmered with the precision of the finest AI, acknowledged with a nod, their existence as a harmonious blend of intelligence and technology. Panels and screens flickered to life, each depicting a different aspect of Earth's environment. Varexus's expert hands wove the scenarios, from raging storms to seismic upheavals, a testament to their skill and Zarlon's quest for dominion.

"My majestic galactic lord, I recommend the classic 'deluge test'. It has proven clean and efficient on more than 50 planets. What do you think?" Varexus inquired.

"Hmm, a nice choice, albeit a bit cliché. But not a bad appetizer," Zarlon mused. As the simulator hummed on, their multifaceted eyes fixated on the many flickering screens, eager to see the grand spectacle unfold.

Immediately, colossal waves and relentless rains engulfed the simulated Earth. Major coastal cities faced immediate inundation. Towering waves crashed over the Statue of Liberty, tsunamis inundating the narrow downtown Manhattan streets, turning the financial district into a turbulent sea. The Huangpu River, swollen beyond recognition, inundated the towering skyscrapers of Pudong, Shanghai, which became isolated islands in a vast, murky ocean. Colossal waves from the Arabian Sea crashed against Mumbai, the Gateway of India, and the crowded streets of the city were transformed into treacherous waterways, trapping millions in a watery labyrinth.

As the simulations continued, Earth was plunged into unprecedented chaos. Governments, once pillars of order and stability, crumbled under the relentless fury of nature unleashed by Zarlon's 'God's Hand'. Political leaders, overwhelmed by the scale of the catastrophe, found their power and influence eroding as swiftly as the coastlines of their countries.

In major cities, now submerged under the deluge, the survivors scrambled for refuge. They climbed to the highest points they could find - the tips of skyscrapers piercing through the watery grave of what once were bustling metropolises, and the peaks of mountains and hills that had transformed into isolated islands in a vast, unforgiving ocean.

From his celestial vantage point, Zarlon watched with a mixture of fascination and impatience. The Humans, much to his irritation, displayed an unexpected resilience. Families clung to the roofs of their flooded homes, signaling for help that would never come. In some places, small communities formed on the highest floors of half-submerged buildings, sharing what little resources they had.

Weeks passed, and Earth's situation worsened. Starvation and scarcity plagued the survivors. Once bustling urban centers like New York and Shanghai became silent, waterlogged tombs. Despite the grim reality, glimmers of hope emerged. Nations like Nepal and Bhutan welcomed refugees, while countries familiar with flooding, such as Vietnam and Bangladesh, shared their expertise in constructing water-resilient structures.

Engineers worldwide collaborated to create floating cities, transforming what was once a fanciful idea into a necessity for survival. "These floating cities are not just a shelter; they're a new beginning on water," remarked a Dutch engineer, showcasing Human ingenuity.

The Tibetan Plateau, with its vastness and altitude, transformed into a new center for Human civilization. Leaders from various nations gathered in Lhasa to discuss plans for a resilient future. "We rebuild not just cities, but a civilization that can withstand any challenge," stated a council member from India.

Humanity's spirit, undeterred by the catastrophe, shone brightly. They adapted, learned, and persevered.

In the dim glow of the colossal vessel's command center, Zarlon's expression was a mix of disbelief and irritation. He had not expected this level of resistance from a species he deemed primitive. The sight of Humans adapting and even thriving irked him deeply.

"Varexus," he called out, his voice a low rumble resonating throughout the chamber. "The deluge test was supposed to be their end. Yet, they adapt, and they survive. I underestimated these... Humans."

Varexus, shimmering with an ethereal light, responded with a tone of calculated neutrality, "Indeed, my lord. The resilience of Humanity is... unprecedented."

Zarlon, his patience wearing thin, stared at Varexus with a stern gaze. "We need a disaster that is not only more severe but also more insidious. Something that attacks them on multiple fronts."

Varexus, their form pulsating with a cool, calculating light, contemplated the options. "My lord, I suggest we initiate a level 2 disaster, the 'Twin Scourges' scenario. This involves unleashing a rapidly mutating airborne pathogen, coupled with a series of violent geological upheavals – earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and unprecedented tectonic shifts."

Zarlon's eyes gleamed with cruel anticipation. "Yes, that should suffice. Unleash it, Varexus. Let's see them survive this."

With a swift series of commands, Varexus activated the new simulation. The holographic display of Earth now showed red dots indicating the spread of the pathogen, alongside the violent reshaping of the planet's crust.

The first phase of the Twin Scourges began with the pathogen. It was relentless, outpacing the efforts of Human scientists to understand or contain it. Cities were thrown into panic as the disease spread unchecked, overwhelming healthcare systems and leading to widespread fear and chaos.

Simultaneously, the planet was convulsed with seismic activity. Earthquakes shattered cities, volcanic eruptions blanketed the skies with ash, and tectonic shifts redrew coastlines. The combined effect was catastrophic, hitting humanity with a one-two punch that threatened to overwhelm their survival instincts.

"The Twin Scourges are in full effect, my lord," Varexus reported. "Now, we shall see if Humanity can withstand this ultimate test."

Zarlon watched from his celestial throne, a satisfied smirk on his lips, as cities crumbled and societies unraveled. The pathogen ravaged populations, while the relentless seismic upheavals reshaped the very face of the planet.

"It seems we have finally broken them, Varexus. This is the end of Human civilization.". Zarlon leaned forward, observing the chaos with a sense of finality.

Varexus watched the unfolding disaster, their expression unreadable. "It appears so, my lord. The resilience of Humans is faltering."

But as weeks turned into months, something unforeseen happened. From the ruins and ashes, survivors emerged, embodying the indomitable spirit of their species. In remote, stable areas that had escaped the worst of the Twin Scourges, small communities began to take shape. Lacking modern technology, these groups returned to a simpler way of life, but they still retained the knowledge of the 21st century.

In a makeshift camp in the highlands of Ethiopia, a group of survivors gathered around a fire, discussing their plans. "We may have lost the world as we knew it," said a former university professor, "but we retain our knowledge. We can rebuild, starting from the basics, and work our way back up."

These survivors, including scientists, engineers, doctors, and teachers, pooled their knowledge to reinvent essential technologies. They started with rudimentary tools and soon advanced to creating more sophisticated devices. Solar panels were cobbled together from salvaged materials, rudimentary medical facilities were established, and basic agricultural practices were re-adopted and improved.

In a newly formed community on the stable lands of the Australian Outback, a young engineer triumphantly held up a functioning radio. "We've got communication back! This is just the beginning," she exclaimed to the cheering crowd.

As these communities grew and stabilized, they began to reconnect with each other. Networks of trade and communication were established, forming a new, albeit different, global community. Within a few years, these resilient pockets of Humanity had remarkably progressed from stone-age conditions back to a level reminiscent of the early 21st century.

Zarlon, witnessing this resurgence from his ship, was incredulous. "How? How do they keep rising from the ashes?" he growled, his smirk long gone, replaced by a scowl of frustration.

Varexus, observing the data, responded, "It seems, my lord, that their greatest strength lies not in their technology, but in their unwavering will to survive and adapt."

As Zarlon watched the flickering images of Human communities thriving against all odds, his fury and disbelief grew. The Humans had not only survived the Twin Scourges but were also rebuilding faster than he could have ever imagined. The resilience of Humans had not only surprised but now deeply infuriated him.

"Varexus," he bellowed, his voice echoing through the chamber, "we will end this once and for all. Initiate a Level 3 disaster. Let an asteroid strike their planet. I want nothing left of them!"

Varexus, with a hint of hesitation in their usually emotionless voice, complied. "As you command, my lord. But I must caution, we still want to preserve the—"

"No more cautions!" Zarlon interrupted. "Do it!"

The simulation was set. A massive asteroid, larger than any that had hit Earth in its recorded history, was now on a collision course with the planet. Zarlon watched with a grim sense of satisfaction returning to his demeanor.

Meanwhile, on Earth, the situation took an unexpected turn. A coalition of scientists from around the globe, using improvised but effective monitoring systems, detected the incoming asteroid. The news spread rapidly, uniting the world in a common cause.

In a makeshift international conference, broadcast over surviving communication networks, a leading astrophysicist announced, "We have one chance to change our fate. Together, we can avert this catastrophe."

High-tech firms, repurposed military units, and space agencies, some operating from hidden bunkers and remote facilities, collaborated in an unprecedented effort. Pooling their resources and expertise, they devised a plan to intercept the asteroid.

In a control room buried deep within the Swiss Alps, a team of engineers and scientists watched as a fleet of hastily assembled rockets launched into space. "This has to work," muttered a young engineer, her eyes fixed on the screens displaying the rockets' trajectory.

The world held its breath as the rockets reached the asteroid. With precision maneuvers, they deployed their payloads, altering the asteroid's path just enough to avoid collision with Earth. Cheers erupted in control rooms, refugee camps, and among communities around the world as the asteroid passed harmlessly by the planet.

Zarlon, witnessing this unprecedented event, stood in stunned silence. Never in his conquest of countless worlds had he seen such a display of determination and technological prowess.

"This... this is impossible," he stammered, his confidence faltering for the first time. "No species has ever... How could they...?"

Varexus observed the screen, a flicker of what might have been respect in their digital eyes. "My lord, the Humans are unlike any we have encountered. They adapt, they overcome, and they unite in the face of extinction. Perhaps it is time we reconsider our approach to this planet."

Zarlon, his plans thwarted and his arrogance shattered, could only watch in disbelief as Humanity celebrated yet another victory against seemingly insurmountable odds.

Enraged beyond reason, Zarlon paced the command center, his mind a tempest of fury. "Enough of these games," he seethed. "I've toyed with these Humans long enough. Prepare for a direct assault. I want this planet, and all who dwell on it annihilated!"

Varexus, sensing the finality in Zarlon's voice, froze in contemplation mode. However, in the heat of the moment and due to the intensity of Zarlon's wrath, the simulator, misinterpreting Zarlon's command as a directive for another simulation scenario, spontaneously hummed to life. It initiated a virtual depiction of a direct alien assault on Earth.

On the holographic display, the colossal fleet of Zarlon's empire approached Earth, weapons primed for utter destruction. But as the simulation unfolded, an unexpected resistance emerged.

Humanity, having observed the alien fleet's approach in the simulation, mobilized a defense unlike any Zarlon had anticipated. Nuclear missiles, long dormant in silos and submarines around the world, were launched en masse at the approaching fleet. The simulated alien ships caught off guard were engulfed in nuclear fire, their defenses overwhelmed by the sheer ferocity of the Human counterattack.

But the most astonishing development arose from an unexpected source—a mysterious virus, manifesting as a virulent scourge for Zarlon's kind. As Human survivors captured alien scouts, the virus infiltrated Zarlon's fleet, transforming into a grotesque, flesh-eating entity.

The virus acted mercilessly, turning their hard, chitinous shells into decaying masses, oozing with maroon-colored blood that reeked of death. The once formidable warriors writhed in agony as the pathogen consumed them, their bodies dissolving into putrid, rotten goo.

Even the few who managed to survive started to lose their sanity and became zombie-like, driven by a primal and violent instinct. They turned on each other in a frenzy of madness, their once orderly ship descending into chaotic horror. Screams echoed through the corridors as the crew succumbed to their internal nightmare.

The once-proud warriors lost to the virus's insatiable hunger, engaged in a macabre dance of destruction. The spacecraft is now a floating hell.

Amidst this horrific scene, the ships, devoid of control, began to collide with one another, explosions lighting up the void of space. The majestic fleet, a symbol of Zarlon's dominance, was reduced to a graveyard of twisted metal and lost souls.

In the command center, Zarlon watched in horror. "This... this can't be," Zarlon stammered, witnessing the collapse of his simulated forces. "A virus? What's its name, and why... why are the Humans not affected?"

"It's called... Covid...19... my majesty," stammered Varexus, the name of the virus resonating with a chilling, otherworldly echo. To Zarlon, it sounded like a curse, a name dredged from the deepest abyss where ancient demons dwelled. The word reverberated through the vessel, a haunting symphony that seemed to swallow Zarlon's soul.

"And, my lord, the Humans are not affected because a remarkable 97% of their population is already immune. Their immune systems appear to be without precedent," Varexis elucidated, their tone imbued with a mix of respect and concern.

As they summoned the historical data on Human battles with lethal diseases onto the screen, their narrative continued seamlessly. "It seems their entire history is a haunting saga of confrontations with the deadliest pathogens – smallpox, cholera, the plague, HIV, Ebola... the list goes on and on. They are, in essence, a walking archive of pathogens, my lord. Any of these could be catastrophic for Zarlon's physiology upon exposure. Shall I proceed with the simulations to illustrate the potential hazards to Zarlon fleet?"

Zarlon, overwhelmed by this revelation, stood frozen, rendered speechless by the enormity of the information.

It must be a god-like species, capable of wielding such a sinister and devastating weapon, that can survive such a cascade of formidable diseases.

Realizing the catastrophic potential of a real assault, Zarlon made the only decision left to him.

"Retreat," he ordered, his voice barely a whisper. "Retreat and leave this planet be. We underestimated these Humans... and their world. It's not worth the risk."

As the ship turned away from Earth, setting a course back into the depths of space, Zarlon looked back at the blue orb one last time. What he had seen as a simple conquest had proven to be a humbling lesson in the resilience and unpredictability of life.

And so, the Humans, unbeknownst to them, had won. Zarlon, the Celestial, ruler of star systems, had been defeated not by force, but by the sheer tenacity of the Human spirit and the unanticipated defenses of their home planet. Earth, against all odds, remained free.