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Rambling and Random bullshittery

This be your most daring story; A rambling if you must, Of language most foul, of unexplored ways to curse. Of bullshit in every turn, in every twist, in every twists of tongues. As told by thine ol'hands and masterminded by the crude tongue, with all my tics and antics. Do-told tale of a vegetable who limbs and stumbled on a new realm of where creation was pierced in it's boundaries. Of a connoisseur who learns of ways of an unshackled breathing body, the occasional doggie styles and the utmost high of all forms of unequaled shag-getry, wooing tarts and thots and hoes, all manners of terms modern and old to name all wenches of all- the ripened titties; "Thine taste ranges from nymphs of florescent pure to flooded lips which hangs and are forgivably bonk-able with a passing thought riled up by the hard down under, Which in short means all!" Heinously wholesome in ways of the vile tongue which grew most crude, terribly heinous with every breaths more lived- after to after and then more, much much more. A rambling- to what he sees, to what he does. This is a story of a living, in a world of pixels; of new universe where a man could swim in lava, a world where such and such is deemed mundane. An epic where a naked fledgling dove in the heat of an avian war, baby-steps towards a destiny-, etched in the root webs of two worlds with only a goal; To be the Pirate Ki- nevermind! To live most free. Rejuvenation; maketh man a new being, now what would be his tale when all he knew of living was blinking a set of dead little eyes, what would such a virgin of a human ways do in a surreal world that explodes magics and bullshits. I'll tell ye all! Just listen to the ramble. (Stay with me, I won't ever drop this.) [Warning:] 1. Not for the faint of heart. 1½. Smut will be there but it will be extremely rare. 2. The english dictionary would require a thorough update after I'm done with this epic. 3. Fuckery most heinous most foul. (By decree of a certain fool) 4. Don't tell your mums you learnt (curses) from me. 5. No other warning just enjoy, If ye dares. Cover art not mine, thank you for letting me use it and sorry but pray tell if you ordered it removed. Will use it until I could afford a more authentic cover art or until boss wants it removed.

JF_Fanai · Fantasia
Classificações insuficientes
32 Chs

A bonking to do

*Warning! A little hint of smut*

I took little sips after sips, the sizzling in the tongue and the smell that reeks of a drunkard sailor early in the morn, proved as I affirmed, 'This is a man's to do!'

It took dedication and grit to down this piss-y drink.

Rip had downed two mugs, I was barely down to half of the mug he first bought and another was already there waiting for me in the bar, sizzling too and waiting to bring my Fuckening out or so they seemed as I gaze in it's piss colored charm.

'What's with I and piss?' that I'll not yet know.

"Its aight bud! Drink and drink the poison will fuck you up in no time." Rip slapped a good one on thine back, his face brightened up more and his lids started getting dull and hanging.

"I kinda like it! Not too bitter but awesomely popping in the tongue!" Said I, gulping now a bigger one and this time I could feel it coming, a long burp from the abyss of the belly.

I arched the neck a tad, involuntarily as it prepared for the burp that was to come, Rip took hold of me whilst he was on the act of reaching for my mug, the one which I haven't touch, "We'll get you another one, Dave's busy at the moment." He said and as he saw me arching the neck, "Ohh! Here it comes, the burp of change!" he smiled.

And Lo!

There it were, long and burpy- coming from the belly and rinsing off the baby in me.

Twas now a man as Rip claimed, "You are now Man!" almost in tears, he was rather with pride.

I'd never would known still of why the dude would babysit my ass but it mattered not, I enjoyed his company a lot.

"That's your cue man!" he said excitedly, lifting the bottom of my mug to my lips, "Now you have to drown it all!"

And so I did- twas torture at first but then the piss flowed down the throat and slowly as thine blues blinked twice quickly- my face feels numb like it was asleep, the heart felt fuzzy and there was Rip with a dumb smile bringing me another mug, "Let's get fucked up!" he roared.

And thine, in room full of fuckers let the little thing dangling in the back of the throat to jerked about and scream, "Thank you Muller!"

Then from our backs;

"All hail Muller!" it were thundering, raised the roof it did.

All sorry fuckers in the inn joined in as we cheered for the one who saved our lives.

He made this possible, we owe him our all.

"Man you're bred for this place!" Rip gave me another mug of beer delight, placing it on my fingers.

He bonked for another cheers and this time I braved the throat to gulped it all in one go, impressing the eyes as I did, drawing a big fat smile on Rip, fucker was proud.

"Dave!" Called I to the guy who looked not like a Dave- much braver was the heart and more quicker now was the tongue with a speed of a bunny in heat, the mind was now a tortoise, "Two more please!"

"Yep! Keep it coming but first a piss!" Rip then went out for a quick piss, whilst I sat still on the stool of the bar, a mug in hand and a lip much braver then- they begged for another feel of the bitters.

The numbness in the face, grew more and more with every brew I allowed to rent my belly for homes- until I've felt not even these slaps, to any who might saw I might be dubbed a crazed broccoli, twas slapping me left and right.

"Kinky but wanna try that on me?" from right, the ears heard, a purr of a kitten- lascivious with every flick of her tongue.

Slow even if the neck cranked for a quick one- I turned, the eyes were blurry but they swore they saw two beautiful melons with clothes spoke, "Woah!" the jaws dropped and more of a speed beyond immediate, "Twins!" called I as these virgin hands of thine, reached out and fondled the melons, "So fucking soft!!" I nearly moaned, boy thine were brave indeed.

The call of the hard - once tender, the ends of the pants on the ankles rose higher, the bulge in the front rose to a superbly disciplined soldier's rigid salute.

"Mmh!" heard I a moan, with every squeeze and bounce and every tightened grip, the melons moaned higher.

"Fuck you wearing clothes for?" drooled I to the melons, thine blues fixed solely on these beautiful twins.

Twas drunk and stupid, the fingers slid under the twin's clothes until, "I suggests you get a room, this is not the place!" said Dave who looked not like a Dave- fucking cock blocking Dave who definitely did not looked like a Dave halted my greetings with the twins.

However;

"Oh fucking prude! Mind your business!" berated the seductive voice.

Charming thine blues to gaze away and up from the twins, "Fucking hecks! We'll take that room fucking Dave!" yelped I as I heard her dick throbbing giggles.

The tongue was quick indeed, more so now whence the eyes saw the treasures I fondled, enthusiastically enticed by the rock hard who was once tender.

A dame of cat ears and sharp nose, two little sexy teeth that stuck out- they yearned to bite thine as she licked her plump cherry lips.

She brought her perky waist, skin close as she breathed foul thoughts on me, her heavy lidded eyes spoke she wants to consume the erected soldier as her slender fingers caresses it.

"Do nya want to eat myea?" she teases with the cutest yet most foulest tongue which stuck out.

'Good coitus Muller, she got all them lines right!' I prayed for his soul in the passing.

She then stepped a knee past the chair, beneath her short skirt she split her legs apart and sat her moist gap on my thigh, I could feel her honey dew through a thin fabric she wore underneath, the tears of rosy flesh between her thigh- all wet they bathed my leg. She then leaned in, her long silky hair of enchanting black gave us little privacy and she whispers, "I'm Jennie what's yours?" as she licked my ear.

"Lock! You can scream it out when I'm on top of ya!" flirted the tongue.

Magical words which summoned her desires more, grinding her little treasure on the thigh, a thigh which swore it was the most slippery it ever had been.

'It worked!!!!' the mind fucking cheered, Ninety percent of the temple- the mind was set on the motion of passion I am to do, the other ten thanked the many novels and videos I've watched for the ways and techniques of unequaled shagging.

"Take me! Feel me! Ffucck me!" her wet stains of the tongue drooled down the neck, her rather quirky tits shoved and offered to do as I wished.

It be true but shameful to say, I was with shaky breaths, the heart overworked itself in the passion it was bound to shag, bonk, fuck and murder, huffing for breaths, "Imma mow down on your wet cunt babe!" I barely said.

She grinded on me still, I could feel her rapid breaths getting quicker and warmer, her body steamed hotter, she nibbled and bit the nape of my neck, the sides, the ears drooping from the spit she stained on me, she was more fiercer with every fleeting moment, "Please now! Please! Kiss me! Fucking kis-! I want you so bad!" she begged, hot breaths and all- she was more than ripe and thine am not passing on this.

I shoved her hair, "Hold a bit!" said I, moving her to my other side which she failed not in a spit to lick and bit, my eyes barely they scanned for Rip, the wide doors of the inn were me first guess and there he were, blurry were thine blues but twas he as his earring sparkled from the yellow dimmed lights above.

He was staring bold at a couple of dudes that sat a table besides the door, I wasn't sure but the guys had their eyes on me, 'Maybe they like the show?' I was filled with pride, I would've boast but twas a virgin too- for the short being anyways.

Rip as I'd assumed already saw me getting some shagging action, he gave me a chin-up when we caught each other's eyes.

There's always a need for a chin-up.

I smiled at the man who had babysat my ass, "I'm graduating!" hollered I to him, then the cat in heat in a spit leapt back and grabbed and dragged me away by the waists, "Where's the room?" she boldly asks Dave who looked like not a Dave- who pointed a finger upstairs.

I could only mouth Rip a 'Thank you!' simply by the lips to which he nodded a quick smile to, the smile which faded the moment he showed it- turning his glance to the three men just besides, 'He seemed disturbed?' almost thought I but the burning fire of the heart that knows it was bound for bare back bonking subsided all other thoughts, "Lead the way." said I, dragged by this dame with enchanted eyes, only then I noticed her tail of furry black and only then I noticed I now had one too- only but thine was in the front and a rather blunt and short one.

I'm sorry for this chapter but it had to be done.

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