raindrops on summer .1

The clock stopped from ticking and everything went in slow motion as all the eyes got stuck on the guy who just entered the room. It was just a start of the summer yet it is already raining, that time I met him.

A little air follows that makes his hair a little messy. His face is like it was sculptured by angels and those blue eyes makes you feel weak. He was wearing a white polo shirt that makes him shine brighter matching his dark blue jacket and black pants that shows how masculine he is.

My heart gets numb and my lips went dry when our eyes met for the first time as he walked beside me after introducing himself in front.

My hands are shaking while holding the pen when I knew that he was just sitting behind me.

It is been two years since I start high school and I don't have friends yet. My life is gloomy like it was a song that was never played on radio or phones. And that is why I envy those eyes of him because it seems that anything that eyes reaches are colorful things and full of life.

Yet who would think that the way I am walking through will be change in just a twinkle of an eye because of the guy who appeared in front of me one day, it was summer that time yet it is raining.

Everyone is asking what our relation would be, even I is puzzled what are we? He said that he just cares but never admit that we are friends. When I am like a damsel in distress ad my tears starts from running down, he was the one who is beside me. He was the one who is there. When I am happy and smart like I can conquer the world, he was there. And when he is down like dying, I am the one he calls. I witnessed every emotion he has in every situation he encounters. I saw his smile that reaches until to her eyes. I also saw the first drop of his tear when his heart is braking.

I thought that was already enough, I thought that I was already enough. I thought that he feel the same way as I was because even how many times the world goes around, we are with each other, we are beside with each other. However, it is just me thinking that way and I hate myself for being so weak.

I lost again in a game that is not yet got started.

I thought I already know him yet I was like crawling in the dark when I saw the other side of him that never flashed in my mind in one in a million times this situation.

My own two eyes got widened and I know that the tears are waiting for its cue to flow. I saw how desperately chasing the girl and following her back even she's not looking at his way. It breaks my heart to see that he was like that to other girls yet it brakes me more that I assume that it was me he likes.

I was like walking on a thin ice, on an endless path that will never end. If he could just turn his back for once, if he will just look away. He will see me there, silently following him while he was following her. I was like his shadow.

He just can see me when she's not around. He can see me when it was just the two of us. He look at my eyes when I am the one who is there. At the end of the day, it is still not me he wanted.

I was standing beside him when his world brake into pieces when she denies him, when she ignores him. I was there yet he never noticed. I hate to see how he beg for her yet I hate it more that this reality shows me that he will never like me the way he likes that girl.

I met this guy at school that catches my eyes and heart the moment he enters in the room. My life was gloomy yet he gave a color to it. He was the very first guy I thought I can rely on. The very first person I gave attention to. For me he was like my everything so it kills me to learn that he was into someone else.

I can't blame him in the first place, she was there first before me. He know her first and in love before I walked in. they were perfect yet I came in to the picture. I can't blame him, she was too perfect that can catch any guys' heart in a single glance. I was no one compared to her. She was the girl that anyone could dream of.

She was smooth, skinny and super girly with those long blond curly hair and always wear blouse, skirts and heels that makes her really looks like a beautiful young lady. She is very unlike me in every way and we don't match even a single inch. I am a girl yet acts like a guy, walks like a guy, I wear loose shirts, big pants and sneaker and sometimes a cap. I always tie my hair and never wear make-up or use pinky things. She and I shows two kinds of girls existing in the world.

"Waaaahhhhh!!!"

I want to shout, I want to scream. I can't take this anymore. My heart is getting numb and my eyes are getting blurry. I hate being pathetic trying to get his attention. I hate being in the shadows and only came out when she's not around.

Before I met him, I never realized that someone's ignorance will leaves me bleeding. I don't know that someone's name makes me blush like an idiot. I never thought that I would take so much effort to gain someone's attention and a single smile makes my day yet a single action can also destroy it.

If this is a movie or a novel, well then it sucks because no one want to watch or read my life story that is hopeless. No one want to know the life of a very ordinary person that barely catch anyone's attention.

Where is he? I already look for him in the whole place, in the whole school campus yet even a strand of his hair is out of sight. He is also not in our favorite spot, a place where the only two of us knows in the school.

There is no way he will leave the school without me and if he did, I know that he will let me know so I know that he is somewhere else in here.

It took me almost a couple of hours looking for him and when I did…

I wished that I should have never looked for him.

If I could, I already screamed and said that I was there. I already said that I like that guy yet there were no sound coming out of my mouth.

My knees are getting weak as I slowly sitting on a ground watching them hugging each other and saying how much he likes her.

The girl is trying to get out of his embrace yet his hands are too strong and still saying that he likes her.

She run the moment she went out of him and leave him standing there as the rain starts pouring. He turn his back and there he saw me sitting on a ground gasping my breath. He know that I saw the whole thing and that freezes him. I am looking at his eyes yet he is avoiding my gaze. I want to hear him say anything, a single phrase will do. I want to hear what he was going to say yet he still avoid my presence.

I heard him called my name when I ran away.

My eyes are getting blurry adding the rain that covering my way that I slipped while running.

For the second time, I heard him called my name but this time with a worry tone.

He was about to step forward towards me when I shouted

"Stoooop!!!"

I don't want him to get near me. Stop, I don't want him to give me motives without meanings. Stop, I don't want him to show the same things he was showing to that girl.

I tried to stand and walk perfectly even my ankle is aching and I am soaking wet, and walked passed by him.

He was about to reach his hands and say something when I talked first,

"You will never love me, do you?" I whispered in his ears that stops him from moving as I walked away.

I tried so hard not to let my tears flow and to sob silently while he was in front of me. Then all of it went out the moment I am far from him.

The next day I heard the news that welcomed me the moment I entered the room. She transferred school.

I was supposed to be happy that the biggest threat in my life is already gone.

Maybe he can already see me as I am, he can already see my worth and give back the feelings I gave him.

However, the smile on my face fades when I saw how miserable he is sitting on the corner.

I want to hug him, to comfort him, and to say that everything will be okay.

I want to make him smile, to give back those precious smile of his yet something is blocking my way, something unseen. Like my feet are nailed on the ground that I can't move my feet.

This is already my chance.

I can't use to this, I am not used to this. I was like eating alone in a cafeteria like the old times. The guy in front of me is like a lifeless human being.

I asked him countless times if he was okay yet I was like talking in a thin air.

I told him that it was her lost and they were not even an item, aren't they?

I want to tell him that I am still here, I am will always be here.

It took him a couple of months to forget that girl, even I know that he didn't forget her completely. There were still a space on his heart for her.

It is been two months that we don't talk to each other even we are always together.

I wait for him to heal, I watched him silently and finally he went back to his old self even not completely.

I promise that I will bring that old man I used to know, the man I met during summer yet it is raining.

It took me a while to realize that he is giving me a different smile from what he is showing to her. His eyes smile along with his lips in front of her like his whole body is dancing in a tune that only him can hear. When he is with, he flashed a smile like he was forced to do it showing only the teeth in front.

"I'm sorry"

"Nooooo!!!"

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing...….

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing...…..

I thought it was for real already. It feel so real that I almost believe it when if only my alarm clock doesn't rang.

That was a kind of a nightmare. He was sorry to leave me because he chose to follow her and it is like happening. I wish it wouldn't happen for real.

"Whoa!" acted shocked.

"I thought I saw Sadako" he added

I punched his shoulder a little.

I can't blame him though for acting that way.

I have big eye bags and messy hair and walks like a zombie came in the class.

"What happened?" he asked next.

"I had a bad dream"

"Clowns or goblins"

"You are scarier than them"

"So you dreamed of me" then flashed a foolish smile.

"As if" I said as I avoided him.

That dream scares me, what if it will really happen?

"What if she came back, will you still like her?"

I don't know where that question did came from or where did I get the guts to do that. It was like my mouth speaks on its own.

He was stopped when he was about to swallow his food then look at me with his mouth open ready to swallow his food and head down.

I got the wrong move.

He put his spoon down to look straight at me.

"Why are you asking me that?" he said with a low tone.

"Hmmm…just curious…I think?"

"If I got another chance then why not. If we are really meant together then there is no way that we are not going to meet again"

I am speechless of his answer, I wish I didn't asked that question.

We ate quietly after that.

It was his birthday next week so I am planning to buy him a pair of shoes as a gift on his special day.

I was already in the mall, men's section and I was stuck with a red sneakers and white.

One of the sales lady seems that she noticed that I am taking so long on one side of the store that she get near me.

She asked me what is it that I needed or looking in a very polite way.

"Uhmm…I don't know if which is better from this two" pointing the two pair of shoes.

"For your boyfriend?"

"No…No…he's a friend"

The sales lady tells a lot about the shoes and what type of guys it fits. I really don't understand what she is saying, coming in from the ear and coming out to the other. I just pretend listening even I don't, that is my expertise I do that a lot in school hehehehe.

I end up getting the white sneakers, it is quite expensive though but it's okay.

A smiled flashed on my face as I take a second look on the shoes while going out of the department then put it back on the paper bag.

I waited for the party to be ever and everyone to leave before giving his gift. A lot of scenarios are already flashing in my mind when I gave him my gift and imagining how wide his smile is and how thankful he would be. Although it is not the best gift he could ever have, I know that he will going to like it because that is the way he is.

When I saw him coming to me, I grab the paper bag I hid earlier at the back of the sofa and stand looking at him with the same smile he is giving me now looking at me.

I hold the bag tighter as I feel the heat going to my face. I was about to give him the gift and greet him a happy birthday when he talked first.

His eyes are smiling along with his lips. His ears are blushing and excitement is mark on his face as both of his hands touch my shoulders from both sides.

"She…she's here!!" he said with wide smile showing off his big teeth.

This is the first time I saw him smile like that. Even though we are always together and I saw him smile a lot; however, the smile he is giving me now is much more different from the past and it hurts me more to know the reason behind that smile and excitement.

"She said she want to see me!"

"Did she told you why?"

"Ahmmm…maybe she want to greet me on my birthday"

"This is the birthday ever, woah!" he shouts as he run going outside of the house.

I just sigh then put aside the bag and sat down again.

The next day, a news welcomes me to start the day that probably will destroy my whole world.

"She said yes"

That is the first thing he said to me when I half sleep entered in the room giving me the same face he showed me at his birthday.

"Aren't you going to say something?" he added.

"Uhmmm….congratulations to you. You are waiting for this for so long" I answered then flashed a weak smile pretending to be happy for him.

"This is the best birthday gift I ever received"

Oh yeah, a birthday gift. I still haven't give him my present. Would I still give him? To thing that someone already gave him much better.

"Aaaahhh!! I need to go to the toilet" pointing at the door.

I didn't wait his answer, I already ran out of the room.

"You are pathetic" whispered to myself looking at my reflection to the mirror resting my hands on the sink gasping my breath and blowing the hairs off my face. I am already catching the attention of the other girls coming in. I just went back to the room when I heard the bell rang.

I know he don't like me but my heart does not understand.

"Are you okay?" he whispered to me when the teacher came in. I smiled a little and nod without looking at him.

"I'm sorry"

That was the first thing that came out of his mouth when I am standing in front of him watching him keep his things to his bag when the class is over.

"I promised that I will have a lunch with her"

"But she's not studying here anymore"

"I will go to her"

"Huh?! We just got an hour for lunch before the afternoon class and it takes a couple of hours traveling from here to there"

"Then I guess I have to skip the first subject in the afternoon" he said as he hang his bag to his back and leave.

I was left their standing without moving a thing. He really likes her that he could sacrifice his studies like that just to reach her. This is the first time he will skip of his class if ever and the worst is… because of her.

I should have saw this coming even to the first time I learned that he likes that girl. I can already see myself fading as one of the characters in his life.

Even the room is located at the third floor of the building I can still hear the soccer players from here. The color of the orange sky is reflecting in from the window that makes me more sentimental watching the sunset sitting beside the window at the room which is the only person is me at this time. He ended up not attending the whole class in the afternoon. He should be thankful to me that I made up a perfect reason for him.

The clock ticks at six and the soccer players start packing up. Maybe I should go, it is already getting dark.

"I didn't noticed of the time" he said when I saw him standing a few meters away from me in front of the school gate.

"You just got a girlfriend and you already forgot you have a friend" as I walk away.

Wait, I forgot that we are not friends. And if we are, then I am just a friend. Do I deserve to get angry? To get jealous? Who I am to him in the first place.

I stopped after a few steps to look back if he is following yet to my disappointment that he is already gone. I thought that he was going to explain or reason out yet he chose to walk away.

I thought that he already ready his explanation this time; however, he is still not in there when I entered the room next morning. I am looking at his desk while putting my bag down, I am not used to come to school earlier than him and he is not a kind of guy who is going to school tardy. Maybe he just forgot to set his alarm today. Convincing myself with a lie when I already know the reason.

The class already started when he came in. he apologized to the teacher before going to his chair. He stopped for a while in front of me looking at me. I pretend writing and listening to class when I noticed the sweat flowing of his face.

"Why are you late", asked his seatmate in whisper.

"I ran an errand" he answered still gasping his breath.

"I'm sorry..."

This is already the second time he apologized to me because of the same person. I was the one who is supposed to be always apologizing to him when we are together because of my clumsiness and not the other way around.

"… I had so much fun being with her and I didn't noticed of the time yesterday" he explained.

"Then why didn't you told me yesterday?"

"Does she don't have a class?"

"Why did you walked out of me yesterday?"

I want to tell him all of those but I chose to answer,

"It's okay, we are not that close that you have to update me of the things you are doing"

Then just that we are okay again.

I was about to fall on my bed when he is the first one that exposed in my eyes the moment I opened them in the morning.

"What are you doing here?"

Oh My Gosh he saw my face without make ups and messy hair.

"It is valentine's day"

"So…so what if it is valentines"

"Help me prepare a surprise for her"

There are sparkles on his eyes that shines in the morning with the bright smile he wears that captivated me instantly.

"Hugh, I don't want" I said as I cover myself with blanket and lie on my bed again to sleep.

The second I closed my eyes he pulled my blanket off me.

"Pleeaaaaase"

As if I can ignore that looks on his eyes. I hate it that when he look at me like that I can't already say 'no'.

"I'll treat you in your favorite restaurant after. Just this once, please" he added.

Arghhh….

"What are you planning" I said with a frown when I got up.

He smiled at me then hugged me suddenly that surprised me for he is so happy.

"She likes red roses and surprises" he says while throwing a bunch of red roses to me while walking.

"Spread it all over the place, here put some here too" he command.

I'm spreading the petals of the red roses on his apartment that we got earlier.

"Are you paying me for this?"

"C'mon… for my love"

There he goes again with that cute eyes. Grrr… I hate it that those eyes manipulates me like a potion in my heart.

"Whatever" I said then continue spreading them.

We took almost a couple of hours preparing for his surprise to her. Although almost all of the work is done by me.

From the entrance of his apartment are the scattered red petals until to the living room. When you reached his living room, there were a round table in the center with lighted candles on it and prepared food. The lights are off, the only light remaining are coming from the candles, with matching soft romantic music. There were also matching big teddy bears seated on the sofa holding a bouquet of flower.

This is also my dream surprise and he is my dream man. At least, I saw a surprise like this even it is not for me.

"You did a great job" he said looking at the whole thing we finished as he sit at the sofa beside me and throw his right arm to my shoulders.

I smiled weakly.

"Of course"

"I have been calling her for years and she's still not answering" he said with worries written all over his face walking back and forth holding his phone in front of me who is still sitting on a sofa.

"Maybe she had a class or…she's busy on something"

"And what is that something that is more important than me"

"Yeah, you're important more than anything. If I would her, I will always run to you" I whispered.

His face brightened as if there was a light facing him when his phone rang.

"Where are you? I've been calling you for ages"

"Ah…. Ah… it's okay I am just worried that something happened to you. The next time update me okay so that I won't be worried. I'll wait for you here"

Then he turned his phone off.

"Did you hear that? She said she's coming" he said to me with twinkle on his eyes and bright smile like an angel could have.

I smiled a little and nod to answer him staring his whole face. The face I wish I would be the reason of having that emotion he has right now.

"I'm excited, yet at the same time I'm nervous" he said.

"Will she going to like it? Will she love it?" he said bewildered and restless.

"Relax… she will like it, trust me" I said to comfort him because I can already hear his heart drumming so fast.

"Do you think?"

"Of course, it is beautiful. If I were here, I will appreciate every single effort you gave to prepare this"

"Really?!"

"Even it is me who did the work"

"Hmm…. Don't break the momentum"

Then we both laughed. He is still cute as ever when he is pissed.

"But…thank you… thank you for the effort" he said then he move closer to me to kiss my forehead.

I closed my eyes and feel his lips that touched my forehead as if everything is in slow motion and the music playing is really created for this moment.

I woke up in reality when the doorbell rings.

He stand straight and go to the door to open it.

As soon as the door opened she greeted him with a hug.

She was surprised to see what is waiting her. He hold her hand and led her to the table in the center.

This was already the cue for me to go.

My heart gets numb the moment I closed the door. My knees lost its strength that I sat on the floor in front of his place with of with painful tears in my eyes.

Happy valentines to me.

Every day I have to bear listening of his stories about that girl like how beautiful she is when she do that or this, she looks cute or prettier on these clothes or she is likes this or hates that. I am hearing the same things during lunch.

Yes, we are eating lunch again together on the usual spot.

He said that they agreed to eat lunch separately then just see each other after class in the afternoon.

And I am also hearing those when I am in bed. Sometimes he will call in the middle of the night when I am already sleeping, the world is already sleeping when he just finished talking to her through the phone to brag the things they talked about or something, it was all her.

I know that I must separate myself from him, now that he already had a girlfriend before my wounds cut deeper like my feelings to him. However, when I am doing that my feet are moving on its own coming to him. I can't find myself going away from him. I might be a martyr yet this makes me happy. Just to see him smile and all is already enough for me. I don't care if he already got a girl, being with him is already enough for me.

The class just finished, I hanged my backpack on my back and about to go when he appeared in front of me.

"Do you have something to do?"

"Nope, why"

He didn't answer back, he hold my hand and we run out of the school instead and I don't have an idea what is going on, the only thing I know is I don't want this moment end. I don't want him to let go of my hands.

"Where are we going?" I asked without any clue what is this man plotting again.

He stopped for a while and face me still holding at my hand.

"Do you remember? I told you that I will treat you in your favorite restaurant in helping me in surprising her last valentine"

"So… we are going now. Just the two of us?"

"Yeah, you don't like it?"

"No, I'm just…not expecting that you will really treat me" I said in my lowest tone of voice together with the lowing of my head.

"Of course I promised you so I have to fulfill it" he said then we keep going.

It is just the two of us. Is this a…. Shake shake head. No… he is just fulfilling his promise, he is just glad that I helped him, that's it. This is not a date, he has a girlfriend so this will never become a date even it is just us two.

We arrived in the fast food restaurant. It is nothing especial unlike the expensive restaurants out there that their dishes are prepared by well-known chiefs and a small amount of food serve to you is already cost a lot.

This fast food only served fries, colas, fried chicken, and nuggets and so on. Actually this is a restaurant that especially caters kids. I am not kind of a childish to like this kind of place, I am just a kids at heart and I just find the foods delicious.

"Here we are, what you are going to order"

"So… whatever I am going to order. You will pay it all"

"Hahaha of course it will all be me" he said between his laugh while we are in line to the counter.

"I'm just… making sure" I said while pouting and shy.

I am planning to order all of the dishes in the menu, I will take advantage of this opportunity that only happens once in a while especially now that he has a girlfriend. However, on second thought I don't want him to think that I am that gluttonous of a person. So in the end, I just order a sundae and fries.

"Are you sure is that all what you want?"

"Hmm" I said smiling and nodding.

After that, we eat quietly.

We also take pictures.

One click and his phone rang. He excused himself for a second so I am left alone eating.

After that, he said goodbye that he was leaving because his girlfriend called. He immediately get his bag and leave. He didn't wait for my response or finish his food.

I thought this day is already made for just the two of us, a moment for us yet in the end it was all just an imaginations and expectations.

I just finished my food and left the place immediately and go home.

Before I knew, a lot had changed between the two of us. The things we planned long ago has been canceled or rescheduled or if not, she's coming with us. I hate the idea of taking her when it was supposed to be that it was just the two of us yet I don't have the strength to say that I don't want especially when he already say, "Please" in front of me with those pity eyes he is doing.

I took a sigh as I ate my food with matching roll of my eyes. Who would be in good mood if the people in front of you is acting so lovey dovey feeding at each other in front of you like I am not in the same table as them.

I banged the table when I finish that it shock the two of them as I stand carrying my tray. The worst thing is we have to share a room and he was alone at the other side.

We are at the hot spring right now that we planned a couple of month ago. Something had change but we still go on.

"You like him"

I startled on what she said when it was just the two of us in the bath.

It is awkward when it was just the two of us. We are waiting for each other if who will speak first. We never got a time like this nor talked to each other ever since.

Yet I didn't expect that this was the first thing we are going to talk about.

It is not a question but a statement. How am I supposed to answer that or what I am going to say? How did she knew in the first place?

"You're wondering how I knew?" she say looking at me with a smile on her face.

That smile looks so innocent but lovely that makes anyone's heart race after seeing it. She looks like a Barbie doll that trapped on a smaller body. Those short curvy blond hair makes her cuter and that skinny and flawless body that she looks like a model. I can't blame him falling for her. She had everything that I have to live without.

"It is obvious"

The heat from the water rose up to my face.

"Don't worry he didn't know it. Everyone knows except him and…you. And I am not planning to tell him about it so…you can be at ease now"

"What took you so long" he said waiting at the table as we approached.

"We just talked a lot of things that we almost forgot of the time", she answered while sitting next to him with the same smile as earlier.

"What is it? What did you talk about that makes you that long? I am curios"

Before she answer she look at me first before turning to him.

"It's a secret, a girl thing"

"Now I am more curios"

"Don't be like that, you are sounding like a pervert" as she slapped him lightly on the shoulder then they both laughed.

I am out of place again.

"Let's do that again"

That is the first thing he said to me when he called after I arrived home at night from that hot spring trip.

"I'm home" as I lean on the closed door of my room.

"Ah… I'm still on my way home. I just took her home so…."

"Hmm, get home safe"

"Yeah…I'll do that. So… let's do this again?"

"With her?"

"Yeah, of course"

"I'm tired, I'm going to sleep now"

I am disappointed that all of the plans we made are going to be accomplished if she's with us, I am looking like a chaperone.

I think I'm having a fever, I don't feel so good or maybe I am just tired from the trip yesterday.

I almost fall when someone from behind rushed to catch me.

"Are you okay?"

"Ah…I think I am not just feeling well"

"Then you should be in a hospital, not in school"

"I don't want to miss my class. Thanks anyway"

Two steps forward away from him and all went black, the last thing I remember is he shouts as he rushed to me.

Two blinks and I opened my eyes widely. The first person I saw is that guy from earlier. I looked around but the person I am expecting is not here. Even my head still hurts, I tried to get up.

"I told you that you should go to the hospital"

"I just woke up and the first thing I heard is your lecture?!"

"If I am not there, you must be still lying on the floor"

"I am in the corridor so someone will still come and bring me here"

"The person you are expecting? I'm sorry that I am the one who is in here and not him"

I went off the bed and gather all my things before going out.

"I want to inform you that I just helped you!" he said before I close the door.

"I heard you fainted, are you okay?" he asked through the phone.

"Hmmm" I answered in a lazy tone.

I am sleeping on my room when he called.

"Who is the man that carried you?"

"I don't know, I just met him earlier"

"I'm sorry I'm not there. She called and I have to---"

"I know I understand. I'll go to sleep"

"Okay, get well. I'll visit you after class"

"Hmm okay"

Then I hanged up the call and continue sleeping.

I woke up four minutes before the class is over. Even my head is aching, I rushed to the powder room to fix myself a little but still will look natural before he arrive and clean a little. When everything is fixed, I sat on the bed to wait.

I immediately grab my phone when the first note of my ringtone sound.

"Hello"

"I'm sorry—"

I already know where this is going.

"Something happened to her so I have to—"

"It's okay, I understand"

Then I end the call again without saying bye.

I sigh before lying again as I threw the phone on the bed.

I unexpectedly met the guy again from yesterday on the cafeteria the next day with him. He was in the line in front of me and our eyes met when we touched the same sandwich.

"You!! You are from yesterday, the faint girl"

He looked at him and draw himself nearer to my ear.

"Is he the man?" he whispered.

I pushed him away and look at him yet he was busy smiling on his phone.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, by the way I'm Jacob" as he stretched his arm.

I also introduced myself and shake hands.

"Who is the guy earlier?" he asked when we are on the table.

"He is the one who helped me when I faint yesterday"

"Hmm… I don't know that someone like that is in our school"

"I also saw him for the first time yesterday"

Why do I feel like he is becoming a stranger to me? The only thing that changed is he got himself a girlfriend yet like the whole thing had change like everything is new to me and I am starting to know him again.

I often meet Jacob in the campus nowadays, in the library, in the cafeteria and even on our spot. Well, most of the time I am with him because the other guy is busy on his couple of hour away girlfriend.

"I am in front of your house"

I checked the time and it was already two in the morning.

"What are you doing here?!"

I went off the bed and grab a jacket with the phone still on my ear.

I silently opened the door of the house and there I saw him standing in front of me.

"We fought… we fought for the first time"

"You called me in the middle of the night just to tell that? What is the reason of your argument?"

"Because she didn't tell me that she's going to hang out with her friends"

"Is that it? That is the reason that the two of you argued?"

"What if her friend some men and they will flirt with her? What if she will fall with one of the guy there orrr what if---"

"You are getting paranoid, she's not that kind of girl. I don't really know her yet when I talked to her and sleep with her on our trip in the hot spring I knew that she's a good person"

Why I am saving her? Well. I don't have anything against her anyway and I just said what I observe.

"Do you think?"

I nodded.

"I know she's that kind of person but what bothers me is the people around her. There might be other guys flirting on her given that she had a face of an angel maybe they are already making moves on her"

"Then it is up to her to entertain them and whether she will give in or not. You should call her tomorrow to fix that thing"

"Okay thank you" then he starts walking away.

He is still looking at me waving his hands.

I mouthed and signed to call her.

"And say sorry!!" I shouted.

The moment he fades in my sight, the rain falls. It is already summer yet it still rain.

He greeted me with a hug and a wide smile early in the morning the moment I get out of the house to go to school. He keeps on repeating how thankful he is to me now that there argument is already settled.

"I knew it, you were here", says Jacob as he sit beside me on the spot that was used to be the only two of us yet someone came in and now he is the one I am with instead of him.

"Why that long face"

"I just helped him in his first argument with his girlfriend"

"Why are you settling for one guy anyway? There are a lot of fishes in the ocean, you should try to look for the other kind"

"I don't know, he is the very first person I felt about this"

"Try to look on the other side of the corner, don't get yourself stuck on a corner. There are other lots of much better people out there"

"Like who?"

"Me"

I looked at him up and down.

"D…don't get the wrong idea. I don't like you or anything okay. I am just saying that I am a good person and much better than that guy"

"Yeah yeah whatever" as I look away.

"Aha… you don't believe me"

"Huh?!" as I remove my headset on my ears.

"Nothing" he said acting pissed.

I just giggled a little then put back my headset again.

After a while, he get the headset on my left ear and put it on his.

I yawned as I opened my eyes from sleep. I didn't notice that I fall asleep on a situation or in a position like this. I saw him standing in front of me when I noticed that I am leaning on Jacob's shoulder.

"Aahhh… it's not what you think"

"I am not thinking of anything"

But I'm sure with that look something is already running on his mind.

Jacob is starting to wake up also.

"I have been looking for you yet this is what I see"

Then he turned around and leave.

I immediately stand to follow him that I forgot I am with Jacob.

He walks so fast that I lost track of him. I dialed his number yet it is out of coverage area.

Why did he act that way anyway? Is he jealous? No…no….no…. it can't be, shaking my head. It is impossible… veeeerrrrryyyyy impossible.

I am dialing again his number while walking. Then when I raised my head as I put my phone to my ear I saw him not so far away with his girlfriend. They are getting nearer and nearer to each other and before I see what happened next, my eyes is already covered. I slowly turned around with my eyes still covered.

"Are you okay?" asked Jacob.

"Hmm" I answered with a weak smile.

"I'm tired, I should go home" I continued.

"Then I'll accompany you"

"I don't like you getting so close with that Jacob guy" he said that makes me stop from writing and looks at him while waiting for the teacher in our own seats.

"Why?" I asked with a bad look on my face.

"I think he will cause you nothing but trouble, I had a bad feeling about that guy"

I blink an eyes before answering.

"Jacob is a good guy, don't draw a line like we have something a relation like that"

That stops him. I saw how he slowly let go of the pen he was holding. Maybe I was a too little below of the belt.

After that, we didn't eat lunch together. Instead I ate with Jacob's group.

"Did the two of you fought?" he asked when he notice that he is eating alone on the table in the corner.

"I just don't understand him" I said as I rolled my eyes and eat at the same time.

"You two are just like a kids fighting for a candy"

"He don't make sense, he is the one acting like a kid"

"Why? What did he told you?" as he take a spoonful looking at me.

"He said that he don't like the way that we are getting too close and I should go away from you"

"Hahaha maybe he's jealous"

"Nah…don't give me false hope"

Then he laughed again.

"A…I mean he is not my father or anyone to give me commands and to say who I need to be with or not. We are not even friends"

"Are you that triggered that you won't be with me" flashing a foolish smile.

"As if" I said as I take a spoonful.

He was about to talk again yet I stand holding my tray as I said I am full and he just watched me do it.

"I like you"

I almost threw away the tray I was holding in shock when someone suddenly spoke behind me.

"You almost give me a heart attack" I said holding my heart and catching my breath.

I was alone in there so how would I know that someone will talk behind me.

"I said I like you"

"Why so serious" I said while laughing

"Co'z I am"

I stopped for a while when I see how serious he is.

"Is this…a joke?" I asked unsure.

""Is there a video here?" looking around as if there were really a video.

"Is this a kind of prank?" I added.

I stand there like a statue and he just looking at me without answering.

"So you're really serious… as in serious serious"

He nodded still looking at me.

"But…you know… You know that I already like someone and we just had an argument"

"But he didn't like you"

That stopped me like an arrow directly hit my heart at the same time a cold bucket of water was thrown to me.

Then someone bumped into me in the back/

"Ouch!!!"

When I look who it is, it made me speechless.

He glanced at me and didn't even say sorry then leave.

"He didn't like you"

"Jacob said he likes me" I said with a bang on his desk that startled him a little.

He slowly raised his head to look at me with an emptiness on his eyes. This is the first time that I saw him like that.

"So are you two going to be an item already?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I can't stop you anyway, do whatever you want"

"What am I to you?"

"I just care"

"You always said that you just cares but never admit that we are friends"

That stopped him for a while like he was thinking of what he is going to tell me next.

"I really just cares"

"She… you also cares for her because she's your girlfriend so it makes sense. But me… I am a stranger to you so it don't make sense. Do you pity me? Because I am a loner?"

"Noo"

"Then why! You don't even love me and you will never be"

"Just do what you want" he said without looking at me and fixing his things keeping it all to his bag.

"If you want to be with that Jacob guy, then so be it. Just don't come crying to me if he hurt you" he added and hanged his bag on his back and bout to leave yet he stopped when I talked.

"How about you, are you not going to hurt me?"

"I will never do that" he said without turning his back and continue going out of the room.

"But you already did" I whispered then sat on his desk with the sound of the rain that drops on the window glass of the room, it is summer that time yet it still rains.

We don't get really get along after that like there is already a line drawn between us. I keep on comforting myself that it is okay, we are not friends after all. Yet deep inside I know how I want to be with that guy again.

I want to comfort him, I want to be the one who is with him when I heard that they are fighting and having misunderstanding. I want to be there when he is falling apart and breaking again.

He was broken how many times before and broken again because of the same person.

I want to go to him yet my feet won't allow me.

There is the guy I met that makes my whole world stop for the first time and everything went in slow motion when our eyes met. The guy I unexpectedly met that I never thought in one in a million times that I would feel this way to a one person. I witnessed everything happened to him after that day, I was there when he is happy. I was there when he is sad and broken and I was there when he is whole again. I was the one standing behind him following him all the way silently like a shadow. The guy I secretly have a feelings with when the raindrops during summer.

Riiiiiing... Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…..

"Hmm…"

I lazily grab my phone on the table beside my bed.

I slowly opened my eyes and got dazzled on the light coming from the phone when I opened it even it is not in full brightness.

It is almost two in the morning, who is in their right mind to call at this time when the world is sleeping.

I just press the answer button and didn't see who it is then I put the phone to my ear while lying down.

"Hmmm hello" with my eyes close again.

At first, no one is talking to the other line. I only heard a weak sob in the background.

I was about to off the call when…

"We're done. She just broke up with me"

I suddenly got up of the bed with a wide eyes holding my phone on my ear.

"What?!"

I already know who the person I am talking to is.

"Where are you? I'll go to you" I said as I remove my blanket and get off the bed.

I grab a jacket and take my bicycle.

I also tried to silence the dog who is keep barking at me when I am taking my bike because it might wake the neighborhood and it was just two in the morning.

Wait….

I stop in the middle of pedaling. Why I am doing this? He just called me and I am already running to go to him and it was in the middle of the night.

What am I to him? Why did he call me anyway after not talking to him for how many days?