Day 5: 04:00PM

It was hilarious.

I wish you or someone could've seen it with me.

I mean really, in this world, whichever what one would want to call it... the nether… the underworld, the spirit world?

Anyway…

The sight of me just standing there watching their grave faces crumple to show how ugly they were was nice... no, it was… nevermind, I'll just say that it is hilarious and for the record, I did laugh.

Because really, the utter sight of my family members with their cheerful and easygoing demeanor turning into sight of confusion and horror was a bliss. The way my mother dropped her phone at the sight of my body hanging by a rope in front of her, the way her face turned cold, the way her eyes widened in shock, and the way her throat contracted as she tried to both breathe out and scream; everything was perfect.

At that point, I thought that that alone would be enough to make me go towards the light that appeared a few moments later after my death but no, it was my dear father who came in and of course, I wanted to hang around to see more.

Though, what he did was a major bummer. He just… clenched his fists and closed his eyes right before he walked outside. I mean, I am disappointed too, and I would still be if my sister didn't walk in next.

And oh boy, her reaction was different and hilarious on a different level. Like listen, she was just getting ready for school, so when she heard that scream from my mom and probably after seeing dad walk out of the house to do god knows what, she came in with a wet towel still hanging by her neck and with her face confused as she looked our mom in the eye without even peering into my room that of course, had its door wide open for her viewing pleasure.

I was just there at the confines of my room that you know if I had to put it would be quite ironic. It was my own space, my sense of freedom at that and yet, in the end, it choked me as if it was this ever-expanding darkness of my own mind that even though my room was filled with clothes and the like, it still felt shallow and empty. You know, it's that feeling of knowing you have something but every time you look at it, you would see nothing but a shadow, a sense of how empty you are as if it was this snake that slowly binds you. Like a sinister whisper that tells you to be more and more until it manages to squeeze you by the neck and hang you by its tail.

Did you like it? Was it somewhat poetic?

No? Well, nevermind… that shit got a ton of likes on Facebook so it should be fine, and I made sure to include that in my little love letter if you know what I mean.

Well, they're still cleaning my room so yeah, let's wait till someone finds it. It'll be fun, I promise and oh yeah, going back, did you know my sister did next?

She threw up. Everything that she had shoved into her huge mouth came gushing out. Like damn man, her cheeks blew up like a pufferfish you know and at the next second, there came this little meaty squirt like she's trying to hold in it that soon ended up with her kneeling down on the floor with tears in her eyes. The next memorable moment was just her with her tongue dangling out of her mouth as she continued to wet the floor with this rancid brown chicken-filled liquid of hers.

See? Hilarious isn't it?

No?

I mean, it should be… with the amount of effort that I've put in there… it should be. Like really… It was they who wanted this, I just showed them what a man is capable of at the moment you hurt their pride. Like… again… I am not mad, but it was they who wanted this, there's nothing wrong about enjoying this spectacle right?

Right?

But really...

Don't you feel like... really is nice to see someone cry and bawl over your dead body huh? Even for my sister… to see how she could cry at something makes me want to tease her and maybe get angry at her in her dreams although I don't know how… might be worth a shot and might be possible if I try hard enough.

But in the end, there's that… they managed to piece themselves back together not long after. My heart started to beat so fast like I was in love, man, wait… people are getting mad about this so should I call you man or…

No reply huh? Whelp, can't help it then.

So that's what happened four days ago, oops… I'm sorry. Having someone to talk to after days of silent treatment made me a bit giddy, I hope you don't mind, well… I guess you don't, you're here for me after all, right?

So yeah, that's one bit of fun that ended in a few minutes. Naturally, the neighbors came and comforted my mother, telling her that it's alright and I'll be in a better place now. I never laughed so hard in my life… or death, well, it doesn't matter.

What followed was of course… the guys from the funeral parlor and I should say… they handled my body quite well… like damn they were smooth. I mean, no one had the guts to close my eyes during the first hours that my body was discovered, no one even dared to be near me in fear of getting jumped on by a zombie or something. But these guys, these guys went straight into my room, and they didn't even look around. They went ahead to get a chair from our living room so this one guy could hold me and stop me from doing my horrible dream-catcher cosplay.

You know at that point, I wanted to get a reaction from him, but that guy didn't even look me in the eye, which was, I know, borderline insensitive. So yeah, I stood there with my disappointed self, watching them pull out my stiff ass out there for everyone to see while being covered in a white blanket. That's the time I walked with them outside and you see, that's when I started to realize it.

It was really bizarre huh? This world...

It was so quick for this bright-colored world to turn dark and yet, I feel like I've seen more color on my mom's face as she watched me go compared to what I had before. This one feels so… genuine it made my heart race. You know… on the same level of seeing my father drown himself in alcohol the very next day so just he could smile for a second. The sight of my mom, hours later while cooking my favorite food with a sunken face as well as my sister, who never really paid any attention to me… the way she shut herself in her room to hug her pillow with tears streaming down her tired eyes made my chest burn.

I'm happy that they got what they deserved with me following their bidding, but it makes me a bit sad that it took me my life just to see these bright expressions but in the end, I'm happy. It's fine despite with the world now looking as if someone turned it into an old movie with terrible lighting and resolution.

It's kinda ironic, once again, that what made me hang myself was this feeling of being trapped in something that I cannot see and by the time I got to open my eyes, I found myself standing in this dreary world that trapped me yet again with no one to congratulate me for staying alive this long.

It was indeed a world devoid of life. With our green and supple yard now turned into a pitch-black mud that felt like it would straight up suck me in if I stepped in, and with the bamboo trees right across the street with its long sharp leaves now turned gray and with its trunk swaying at the silent winds that I could not even hear or feel.

Well to be fair, it did not stop me from going outside. That's where I realized how frail this form is… you know… to be human. It was as if I got myself placed into this aquarium where the sounds of the outside world were drowned and with every step feeling heavy as if I was walking at the bottom of the ocean with my breath always feeling short despite me not knowing even if I am still breathing.

I have several questions, but for now, since you look quite attentive, let's start with three.

Again, it did not stop me… everything didn't but, I wanted to know why is that when I tried to reach out to the world outside of our very gate, why did a screen of sharp and heavy strings stop me? It bit me, I knew that it did and these lines on my palm don't lie, something happened and I felt nothing. I just stood there with my brows knitted as I looked at it in fear and wonder. What happened to the pain that I was ever so afraid of that even in life… what happened?

I don't understand… the fact that you're here doesn't even make it better… so, I want to know... did you do that too, Mister Reaper?"