Chapter 10 : Dark Memories

*Trinity's POV*

The house was silent as I opened the front door and closed it softly behind me and I clicked the lock back shut.

I stood there for a moment with my hand hesitating on the door. Then, I turned and dragged my feet into the kitchen. The glass of water I left out this morning was still sitting on the counter, so I grabbed it and went to sit at the table.

The silence seemed to press down on me even harder. I tried to break it up by remembering the day's events. But really, the only thing that my mind could focus on was the words that Mr. Withers had just screamed at me.

I held the glass in my hand, not moving to take a drink, and I felt a tear trail down my cheek.

"Oh, Nate, what should I do?" my voice shook as I spoke.

Nate would know what to say to comfort me at the moment. But without him, I felt lost. I hadn't realized how much I had come to rely on him over the years, and losing him had affected me in ways that I never would have expected.

Losing myself to my thoughts, I pushed aside the glass and stood up before heading up the stairs. The silence still seemed to be pressing down on me from all around. At first, I didn't even realize where I was going, but then I was opening the door that I kept closed most of the time and stepped inside.

My hand naturally rubbed my stomach in small circles as I stared at the nursery surrounding me. It was much less complete than I would like, but Nate started working on it before everything happened, and I just wasn’t able to make many changes to it, let alone continue it on my own.

For instance, each wall was a different color as Nate had painted each one to see if he liked it. One wall was pink, blue, orange, and green…and none of them looked good. A crib was put together in the corner, and then a box that was supposed to be the dresser was not put together. There were also packages stacked throughout the room of everything that I was given for the baby.

One of these days, I would have the strength to go through it all. Well, I'd have to. The little peanut wasn't going to stay inside my belly forever. Using the name that Nate had used to call the baby made my heart twinge.

I remembered the night that Nate had put the crib together. We had gotten into a tift about following the instructions, and I got irritated with him. But instead of getting angry with me, he simply wrapped his arms around me and told me we would get through it. It was just the stress of the peanut coming.

"Peanut?" I had asked him, looking baffled.

"Yeah. I, uh, I downloaded an app to track the progress of the baby, and it said that this week it was the size of a peanut."

He had almost looked embarrassed to admit that, but I wrapped my arms back around him and gave him a long kiss.

That was one of the things that I absolutely loved about him. He was always so involved and so interested in my life. The entire time we were together, he had really treated me like a true partner, like an equal. Nate was romantic in nature, always wanting to provide for me.

And it was clear he was going to do the same thing for our peanut.

Sound blared from my pocket, interrupting the silence, as I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. At first, I was worried that it was going to be work again, and I planned on simply ignoring it. However, it wasn't a work name that popped up on the screen, but I still wasn't sure if I should answer it.

'Christiana' kept flashing on the screen as if an alert, and my hands quit working.

They wouldn't hit deny or accept, and I was left listening to the whole ringtone until everything was silent again. I sighed in relief for only a moment before I heard another beep of a notification.

I looked back down and saw that I had one new voicemail. My fingers hovered over the screen again as they hesitated to press the button to check it. They finally lost their nerve, and I slid the phone back into my pocket.

I was already emotional, and talking to Nate's mother would not help that.

Nate's mother was always great to me and was the very maternal kind that was easy to get along with. After Nate had passed, she was still kind to me and tried to comfort and support me through our shared grief, but that just made me feel worse.

Nate was her only son, and he was gone.

With another sigh, I walked out of the room and shut the door. The mental exhaustion that hit me had convinced me that I needed to go to bed, so my feet slowly dragged me down the hall and into the bedroom, which looked pathetic now compared to Mr. Withers’. Or should I say, Matthew? Did a man that hateful deserve the respect of a title?

My mind thought back on what I saw at his penthouse, and while I envied some of it, the majority of his house felt lonely to me. And for some reason, that made me more sad.

Maybe we were really just two sad and lonely people, both trying to get through life. Maybe we had more in common than I had ever realized. Suddenly, I wondered what his past was like as well. We all had ghosts, which could be why he was so cold and miserable.

Maybe he had been hurt before, just like me.

That thought wasn't necessarily comforting, especially with the words he had just spoken to me earlier. They would be hard to get over, regardless. Nobody had ever spoken to me in the way he had, and I still wasn't sure how to process it.

I considered just dropping straight into bed without getting undressed, but knew that I would regret it later. The pants put more pressure on the baby bump than I would like to admit, but I didn't want to spend the time or money to go out and buy new clothes when my body was constantly changing.

So I found some casual clothes from my drawer and slid them on. There was something comforting about the holey t-shirt and undies I had on, and I laid down on the bed, pulling the blankets over me.

I proceeded to pull them up over my head.

Even though it was just about lunch, my eyes felt heavy, and the exhaustion set in hard. After a few more tears leaked uncontrollably, I drifted off.

Instead of the usual dreamless blackness I faced, an image took place before me.

I was lying on the same bed, but it was late at night, and I was trying to get down a ginger ale to help with nausea. The window rattled next to the bed, but I didn't think anything of it. Rather, I just rolled over and tried to find the remote for the bedroom TV.

As I was flipping through the channels, my phone began ringing. I answered it automatically.

"Hello?" I asked, not paying attention to the caller ID.

"Hey, sweetheart. It's me," Nate's charming voice came over the line.

"Oh, hi, babe!" I said excitedly, sitting up. "Are you on your way home yet?"

"Almost," he chuckled. "I was just called to double-check and make sure there wasn't anything else you needed before I left the store."

"Aww, you are too sweet," I said in reply.

"I know I am. Who else would buy you that nasty pickles and chocolate combination you’ve been craving?" he teased.

"Hey, don't judge me! It's your fault I’m like this," I laughed as well. "We are in this together. I didn't get pregnant alone."

"Technically, it took you, me, and a bunch of doctors to get you pregnant," he continued. I could almost hear his eye roll. "And I don't see the doctors out in this weather buying you stuff."

"You're right; I am so lucky." I smiled even though he couldn't see it. I heard soul music come on in the background. "Are you leaving the store now? Is the weather actually that bad?"

"It's nasty for sure, but I'm on my home now, so we can cuddle up together as soon as I get back and forget the storm outside." He paused for a moment. "Then maybe we could get nasty in our own way.

"Mm, that sounds good," I said in response, feeling the tingles that accompanied my feelings for him. "I could always feed you pickles and chocolate in bed, too."

Nate laughed out loud. "I love you, but there is no way that I am doing that," he said, and I could still hear the chuckle in his voice.

"Oh, come on, don't knock it until you try it."

"You would have to force-feed me to get me to try that, though," he said. "No shame."

"Don't tempt me," I laughed lightly. "Not with a good time. I don't need an excuse to pin you to the bed."

"Oh, you're naughty." Nate almost sounded breathless, and I knew I was getting to him despite his joking nature. "Maybe I will have to return to the store and get some other stuff for tonight after all."

"And maybe I'll have to slip into something a little comfier," I replied as seductively as possible.

Nate was silent on the line for a moment.

"Nate?" I asked in concern.

"Sorry, babe, I was paying attention to the roads." His voice sounded more tense than it had just moments ago. "It’s getting worse."

"I'll let you go then, so you can focus on driving, and I will see you soon," I replied, my nausea kicking back up.

"Okay, sounds good," he stated. "I can't wait to see you. I love—OH FUCK!"

There was a loud noise, and the phone suddenly disconnected.

My heart clenched, and I knew something was wrong. I was in shock. It was so loud…all of it was so loud. I had no idea what had happened, but my mind was quickly making educated guesses. The storm, the sound of tires on the ground, Nate’s scream…

Before I could stop myself, I threw up on the side of the bed in the bucket Nate had stored there for me.

I heard nothing on the other end except the dead ringing of the disconnected line.

Despite no one being on the other end, I screamed into the phone, praying it was a lost signal and he’d come back. "Nate?! NATE!"

Only he didn’t, and he wouldn’t.

I didn't know it, but my life was changed forever at that moment.