First Chance

I could have easily choosen to stop. To stop working, stop functioning, stop being. And that is just what I did.

I let it go

I let it all go.

And nothing happened. Not to me, not to them, not to anyone.

And that was how I saw it.

But they kept saying I was wrong. I was all wrong.

Why? I did everything I could to make them happy, I even..

-tap -tap

A stirred ever so slightly, I was in a class, and it was all bright, and my eyes were glued to that one piece of gum under my desk, and..

That's Mrs William's pen, on my desk, making that same tapping sound.

I gulped. Hard.

That's when it all came back, the snickering, the side glances, the nonchalant stares, and the ever blazing glare.

From none other than Mrs Williams.

"Ahhh.." A nervous breath was all it was, but an uncontrollable moan was what it came out to be.

Shit

Her eyes widened to those of saucers.

All I could do was smile, with one corner of my lips turned up in a wobbly smirk.

It expressed just as much awareness of my surroundings and the outcome of my actions as it should.

"I believe you must have been engaging in some thoughtful.... thoughts to have lost so much awareness of your.. lessons... "

" Since when did mind porn become so educative! " Chris bellowed behind me with an equally loud snicker.

Collective laughter began to rain around me. Some in small puffs, others with loud breaths.

I shrank into my seat, looking desperately for a way to make time go back and Mrs Williams to continue her lesson.

It didn't work.

"I will not have such behavior move about my class Chris. And you young lady, pay attention or face detention"

And with that she turned back to the board and continued her lesson.

And that was how my first day of school started.