Chapter 32.2

-Nathan's POV-

"Why do you think?" Lucas replied coldly, blood dripping down his head.

"I was only 20 when I became Alpha. With all the pressure put on me, with Terui going berserk, with Jake not shying away from all the problems, who do you think had to carry the stress? I needed something to keep my wolf in control."

If the pack doctor prescribed it, it must be really difficult for him to control his own wolf. This version of wolfbane isn't deadly but it still is poison. It numbs the connection between the wolf spirit and the owner. But still, it doesn't make it right. So. I did the only thing I knew would work.

I took off my t-shirt and got down on my knees.

"What are you doing?" Lucas asked suspiciously. I just grabbed his arm and glared at him in his eye, pushing down all my insecurities about my body.

"Shut up, just look at my body." I demanded. His eyes widened at the numerous scars I accumulated over the years, countless small ones but there were 8 distinct huge scares that were impossible to miss. This is going to hurt, I told myself. I channeled my energy and proceeded to heal him. It was his first time seeing this power of mine, I could see the horror that took over his face. The aftereffects of my power were immediate.

The skin at my left open split apart gruesomely, blood gushed and spluttered out of the wound before my abilities kicked in and tried to heal it. I screamed in pain and gripped Lucas' hand hard when I felt recoil digging further into me. The wound tore from the side of my waist all the way to my back, almost near my spine. I smiled bitterly, I must be crazy to have hurt Lucas that badly. I panted heavily when my wound finally healed. My entire body was hurting and I was exhausted.

"Are you crazy!" Lucas barked worriedly. He quickly grabbed some clothes lying on the floor to wipe up the blood when I collapsed against the bed. That was when he saw the new, raw scar. "What did you do?"

"I can heal people, but it comes at a price." I explained weakly.

"And all these scars come from that! Are you mad?" He exclaimed.

"Yes, it gives me scars." I laughed softly. "But that is not all."

I gathered up some strength and weakly traced the largest scar. The first one that I had ever received was when I was still a little boy.

"This... was the one I got when I healed Jake," I explained. Lucas flinched; he finally knew what severity it meant. "That time, it was cancer. I could have healed him if I had done it slowly, day by day. The scar wouldn't be this big either, it would have just been a litter of small ones. But that was not his or my choice. I was forced to do it."

"But that doesn't mean that it was right." He protested weakly.

No, it didn't. I still hate my father for making me do it.

"I'm not saying it is. What I'm saying is that is the kind of environment we were brought up in." I interjected. I could finally sit up a bit. "Lucas, we were not brought up with love, as you had been. We were not taught what a good Alpha, or a Luna, is. I had tried to claim my own life many, many times. But I couldn't see through it. Even if I didn't know, I could have caused Jake to die from our connection."

I breathed out in pain. Talking was starting to get more difficult, emotions are starting to come up and I could feel my throat getting jammed up. But I had to continue. I can't stop, not now.

"Lucas, listen. Jake probably only felt a portion of my pain. I had been raped, mauled, stabbed, and probably many other things, for at least 10 years of my life. This healing ability was the only reason why I managed to survive." I softly groaned. Flashbacks hit me like a truck, tears were welling up from remembering all the nasty events and my skin crawled. "I had been violated many more times than a slave would have been. And Jake had been feeling a portion of it too."

"You are right, Lucas. We ARE supposed to be the one to stand up to them if they are doing something wrong, guide them on being a better person." I insisted. "You need to teach Jake how to be a better person. You need to teach him to take responsibility for his action. You need to teach him how to live like a normal person. That is not something we know. Even now, I struggle to trust people. But with dad, I mean Raphael, I learned how to live, how to stand up for myself."

"But…"

"There is no but. You are his mate." I argued fiercely. "You are supposed to forgive him, teach him. Not abandon him. How do you think Jake is feeling right now? And that is not all. You need him, just like he needs you. Both of you are mates and that is why. You need him because he can control your wolf and he needs you because you can teach him what he needs to know. You can't be taking poison forever."

"But I can't, I can't forgive him for looking away!"

"That is not for you to decide. It is I that can't forgive him." I deadpanned. If I have to do this the hard way, so be it. "I'M the one that was ignored. I'M the one that was raped. I'M the one that had suffered. I'M the one that will never forgive him. You don't play a part in this, Alpha Lucas. Your job is to be his mate, to teach him how to regain the trust of others, to teach him how to earn forgiveness. Not just beg for it. I'M the one that hates him, and YOU are responsible for teaching him."

It was then it dawned on him what I was trying to tell him. He smiled weakly and nodded.

"Will you be okay?" He asked, glancing at the door.

"Yeah, go ahead." I teased. This time, he gave a genuine smile and bolted out of the door, to where Jake is.

My smile faded and I collapsed on the bed, breathing hard. My mind swirled, vision waned and I could feel my breath getting shallow. Goosebumps trailed up my body and I felt cold. It was as if I was getting sucked into the darkness. But not even a few after Lucas had left, a warm body quickly wrapped itself around me. The effect was immediate. Tingles shot up wherever I was touched, and I could feel my sight getting back its focus. I quickly gasped for air. Wetness dripped down my neck and I finally registered who it was after taking a good look.

"Alex?" I murmured.

"You idiot! You said you'd be fine." He sniffled into my neck.

"Sorry." I apologized.

"Don't be." He praised, pulling back with a smile on his face. He hovered above me and we stared into each other's eyes. "I'm so proud of you, doing your best. You are a good brother."

"Well, it's in my job description as a white wolf." I joked exhaustedly.

"Next time, if you need me, just say it." Alex reprimanded sternly.

"How did you know?" I asked curiously.

"I could feel it, you know. Your fear, your pain, your worry. I knew something was wrong when I felt a pain in my waist, so I rushed over. The moment I reached, I could feel that you were on the edge of a panic attack." Alex explained and I heard my heart beating faster. He genuinely cares about my well-being, and he genuinely is worried for me.

That is how a mate should be, Lucas' words rang in my head.

"Why are you crying?" Alex stammered. "Did…Did I do something wrong?"

"No. I'm just tired." I whispered. Alex smiled softly and pressed his lips gently on mine. It happened just as quickly as it was over and wrapped himself around me. It wasn't suffocating or heavy, his weight gave a sense of comfort and security that I relinquish in.

"Goodnight, Nathan." He whispered softly into my ear.

"Goodnight, Alex." I breathed out softly. "I think I love you."