Keith was playing a game, and didn't even bother to mute the sound of the game. He had been told more than once by everyone around to stop his game, and listen to my father but he didn't concur. Surprisingly, when I pleaded yes pleaded with him to at least mute the game he did, but he didn't stop playing it.
"Do you believe God can change your story ?", My father asked the church.
" We believe", everyone shouted.
"Turn to your neighbor, and ask him or her if they believe that God can change their story", he instructed.
I covered Keith's phone's screen with my left hand, and he faced me. I held his gaze.
"Do you believe God can change your story ?", I asked him.
He scoffed. " What is this ?".
"Ask them if ...", My eyes moved to my dad, still not uncovering Keith's phone. "They know that God exists", he instructed.
I turned to him again. " Do you know that God exists ?".
His answer was immediate.
"He doesn't".
"Why do you not believe ?".
"Where is he ?".
"That isn't why you don't believe".
His eyes darkned noticably, shadowed with something he didn't want to say. He took my hand off his phone.
His voice was harsh when he spoke.
" Focus on your father, and the word of the Lord Eva. I'm good where I'm at ".
He continued playing his game.
I swallowed the lump in my throat created at his words.
"I want you all to rise to your feet. God is about to speak to somebody right now, he is about to use someone right now. If you believe, rise to your feet", my father instructed.
Half the church was already up before he finished his sentence.
"Hold somebody. Anybody. Just make sure you hold somebody".
I looked down at Keith who was still playing his game. Apart from the heavily pregnant woman sitting at the next row, he was the only one I could see still seating. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed his left hand.
"What the fuck ?!", He cursed.
I kept my gaze straight ahead, at the same time trying to hold his huge hand tightly in my tiny one.
"Eva".
Something rolled over my skin, and I shuddered lightly at the sound of my name from his lips.
"Now, I want you to stretch your other hand to the alter of God, and shut your eyes. Let the spirit of God flow through your hearts".
I did as my dad said, and Keith squeezed his hand out of mine. I fought the twang of disappointment in my chest as the low sound of his game came back on.
"Now I want you to pray for your neighbor. I want you all to pray for your neighbors the way you want to prayed for".
Taking a deep breath, I planted my hand on his head, burying my hand in his really unexpectedly soft hair. I couldn't stop the urge to feel the strands between my fingers.
In the process, I ended up messing it up by pulling strands from the neat bun he had pulled them into. My eyes were still closed so I couldn't see how badly I messed it up, but I knew it had to be badly.
It was so soft.
He chuckled, but didn't take my hand off, or move his head.
"Pray for your neighbor everyone", my father instructed again.
I started my prayer. " Almighty father in heaven, I thank you for the life of Keith Johnson".
He scoffed audibly, but I continued.
" Thank you for keeping him alive today, thank you for making him come to this service".
" The only reason I'm here is because my mother asked me to do something for her after the service. Make that part clear in your prayer", he chipped in.
" Young man, can you remain silent if you don't want to be spiritually active ?". It sounded like the old woman staying beside me.
He fired, "Stop fooling yourself, we both know you're only here because you're about to die, and you want to make heaven".
The woman gasped, and I officially lost focus on my prayer.
"Unlike you young man, some people really want to worship God wholeheartedly. So shut your mouth and let them !", She spat.
People around were murmuring now, and I tried my best to still kept my eyes shut.
He stood, because my hand rose, and slid off his head.
"Are you also worshipping God with all those fucking cigarettes I saw in your bag ?".
The woman didn't say anything.
He chuckled. "Stop deceiving yourself granny".
She huffed, " Motherfucker".
Keith took my hand in his, and I wasn't ready for the strange confusing sparks of sensation that travelled from my hand to my entire body at the action.
I gasped, my eyes flying open.
His eyes were depthless and intense as they drilled into mine.
"Why did you stop your prayer ?", He asked, oblivious to what he was doing to me.
I took in a deep breath, my heart beat picking up an abnormal rate.
Even though my voice shook a bit, I continued.
"Lord, I pray your son Keith Johnson believes in you again. I pray that he starts to love you, and worship you. I pray ...".
" That you open the eyes of your daughter Eva so she can see that she's wasting her time with all this bullshit", he cut in.
" You're distracting me Keith".
" Why would you let me distract you Eva ? ".
I opened my eyes again. " I had a revelation from God about you".
His brows rose.
" We met each other because God wanted us to".
He feigned interest, " Tell me more".
" God made us meet so I can bring you back to him".
" What if it was the devil that made us meet ?".
My brows scrunched.
He arched a brow, " Don't you believe in the devil ? Lucifer, the fallen angel ?".
"I ... I do, but ...".
" What if he was the one behind all these ?", Keith asked me.
I swallowed, and took a deep breath.
" I would like to continue my prayer".
He continued either way, "I believe in the devil Eva, more than I do in God. Know why ? Because he actually manifests himself. He shows himself in all the fucked up shit going on in the world, all the chaos, and destruction".
" I think he made us meet".
" Why would you think something like that ?", I asked.
" Maybe he wants me to make you see that there is no God, and that you're wasting your time".
" You won't break my faith".
He smirked, " I like a challenge, don't you ?".
" I will continue to serve the Lord, till my last breath".
He scoffed.
" I remember when those were my words".
Curiosity sprang inside me.
"... In Jesus name we pray ", my dad said.
"Amen", the church chorused.
" Please take your seat in the Lord's presence". My father said, and that's when it occurred to me that he was done. The prayer was over. For the first time since I had been attending church, I hadn't joined fully in a prayer.
For the first time, I didn't.
I joined the rest of the church as they sat, feeling like I had just sinned beyond forgiveness.
My eyes moved to Keith, who continued his game.